Hey there everybody! W3R-SiN again, this time with something a bit different than SNVM. This chapter was inspired by the great Stephen Lynch. I heard this song and just had to write this! And I am not to big a fan of Astrid/Hiccup so it goes well I think. Read and Review please!

Go ride your Dragon instead!

Hiccup was having a tough day. Astrid had been acting very weird lately, what with her aggression and such skyrocketing. A sigh escaped his lips and he walked to the Mead Hall. He was looking for Gobber, thinking that the old blacksmith could tell him what was going on.

Sure enough Gobber was sitting at a table downing yet another pint of honeyed mead. Hiccup got next to him and after a few moments got the mans attention. "Ya' what ya' want Hiccup?" the man asks. Hiccup then explains what is going on, and much to his surprise the man picked up a guitar. "Sit down hiccup, and I shall tell ye' what is going on with 'er..."

'Since when can Gobber play music?' Hiccup thought as the music started. Soon a crowd formed around Gobber. And then the song began...

Everyone I'm going to sing this song in honor of the Holiday we just celebrated...Dragons Day!

Lad, it's your duty to find ye a lass
With child-bearing hips and a pink, supple ass
And make her your wife and love her with love so true
Now some rivers run high, some rivers run low
When her river runs red, then she's starting her flow
And it's called menstr'ation, and here's what it means to you

"Menstruation...Huh?" Hiccup asked confused.

You will notice her bloomers are spotty at first
Stand back – her ovarian dam's gonna burst
Son, don't be afraid, tis a natural t'ing
Just wad up some cotton and hand her some string
Put the old linens on top of the bed
Get out of the house and go ride your dragon instead!

She'll retain her water, her breasts will be tender
And every third word that you say will offend her
Get out of the house and go ride your dragon instead

"No joke there. She hit me this morning because I said hello!" hiccup thought about the bruise forming on his arm.

And she'll want to make love – if you do, you're a fool
'Cause you'll only end up with a bloody O'Toole
Get out of the house – go ride your dragon instead!

Hiccup stared in horror at his old mentor. Yet still the song continued!

And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
But son, it'll taste like some old rusty coins
So turn off the lamp, boy, and take off your hat
And drop to your knees, say a prayer to Odin
Then he'll give you the strength to get out of the bed
And for Berk's sake, go ride your dragon instead!

Now the sky is the place where the lads are a-meetin'
When the moon's full and the gals are a-bleedin'
The Roman, the Druid, and all of the pagan
The sky is the place when your lady is raggin'
So drink of your pint, boys, and thank your shamrocks
That as menfolk we don't have to bleed from our cocks!
And that we can escape from the lady in red
And get out of the house and go... Ride our Dragons instead!

A loud round of applause filled the chamber as the song came to a close. And what did hiccup do you ask? Well that is simple...he rode his dragon...and all was well...FOR NOW!

Well that concludes the first chapter. More to come eventually...Read and review please. For each review you feed a Night Fury!