Hey people! Well, this is my first Fanfic ever. I just like seeing the darker side of America and I was bored. And that's how this baby was born.
Warnings: Self-harm, possible OOCness, Sorta AU I think
Characters: America, Canada, and England, with mentions of others.
Disclaimer- I do not own Hetalia, Hidekaz Himaruya does
POV America
Is it really a mystery? Always berated, told that you are an idiot. Who would want to hear that 24-7? Sure he had "friends" and "family", but would they be there when he fell? They think he is inconsiderate when it comes to others, but he is just trying to do what's right. America literally does have the whole world on his shoulders, and there is nothing he can do. Was it really a surprise when he stopped being as loud as he used to be? Whenever Canada came over and noticed the glorious lines across his wrists, was he really surprised? Sure he had a disbelieving face but did that face reflect his actual feelings? Now he has either Canada or England pestering him, always around making sure he doesn't take the next step. He knows what they are thinking, wondering what happen to their cheerful America, their hero. All of his problems are amplified in his mind. He can't handle it all right now. Will he ever have peace of mind?
He doesn't actually know when his problems started. When the light started to fade from his eyes…
He thinks it might have been whenever he stopped savoring life. Whenever he stopped being able to taste all his favorite foods, having to fake smiles at every turn. He stopped being alighted whenever he saw people close to him. No one noticed…
The last time he hosted the world meeting he noticed how annoyingly happy everyone else was. He wondered if he was that bad. Who was he kidding? Of course he was.
He wants to try it again, just to see if this time he actually succeeds.
POV Canada
He's worried. He had noticed before "the incident" something was wrong with his brother. Just because he tended to disappear into the background and no one noticed him, does not mean he doesn't notice others. He noticed exactly when America started becoming depressed. He noticed whenever he started having bags under his eyes. Being his twin, he could also feel his sadness. He tried to cheer him up, gave him whatever he wanted at the moment. But recently it was getting worse. He even stopped giving excuses about why he didn't want to come over. So he gave Alfred his space. Worst mistake ever…
He found Alfred in his bathroom, with long crimson slashes on his arms and a blissful expression on his face. After all his worrying, he really couldn't do anything except stand there while his brother was going through his hell of his own making. The same was true now. All he could do was get gauze and clean his dear sibling's wounds. He couldn't even call the hospital, because of their immortality. Would he always be so helpless…?
He told Britain about what happened. He had to, didn't he? After all, he was his guardian and probably one of the closes people to America.(Not including Mexico and myself). To say the least he was surprised. Once he saw the state America was in, he went into mother hen mode. He didn't want to leave him alone, in fear that there would be a next time. He didn't want Al to be alone, even going to the extent of suffocating him with his presence. Even when he couldn't be there, he made Canada stay with him. Matt could tell this was just making Alfred more and more closed with his feelings, burying them deeper into his subconscious. Still he said nothing. But he always had a question pop itself into his mind every time he saw his twin. This question made him feel guilty for even pondering it. But it also came up more than once, clawing itself to the front of his mind. He shouldn't think about it…
But still, who was this guy posing as his brother?..
POV Britain
England would never believe it. Never. Had anyone else told him something was wrong with America he would tell them to piss off and flip them the bird. He could not accept that something was wrong with his dear boy. The boy who brought sunshine into his lonely and sorrowful life. The boy who was not a boy anymore, but a superpower. A superpower that was too young for his position. He guessed he should have had suspected something would happen to him. After all, look at what happened to him, to Spain, to Prussia, to the bloody frog, and to the newer ones; Germany and Russia. They all had problems, some serious, some not as noticeable. But it was all caused by power and corruption. And they all fell. Terribly…
He should have warned him. Before he got too big. Before he started feeling the pressure. But he did nothing. He just taunted him like the rest of the nations, putting additional pressure on his shoulders, something he didn't need. So when he was told of Alfred's attempt of ending his life, he somehow knew this was going to happen. If not this something equally drastic. Something to show that he is breaking. But does he not know..?
It's impossible for nations to die by their own devices. They can be hurt terribly and reduced to literally nothing, but as long as the country is alive, so will the personification, even if it doesn't want to. It will live until the country crumbles…
Actual POV America
Guess I won't be able to taste blissfulness anytime soon. I will have to suffer through more incompetent bosses, self-absorb congressmen, and other politicians who don't understand how their decisions affect me. But as England said,"Nation's are not able to die that easily." If we can't die, then what do we do? Can we get into and stay in a coma? What would happen if I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger? Would I be able to? Why don't we see?..
FIN
If you are here that means that you read my story. Thank you! Please R&R! No flames please! I need to know how I did!