Talk About It
"No way! It's too embarrassing!" Eren was yelling frantically, hands waving in the air and pushing at Levi's chest; shoving him across the mattress and making it shake beneath them.
"Eren, don't be a little shit. I told you one of my weird kinks, not you tell me one of yours!" Levi was fixing Eren with a grumpy pout, knowing he'd be weak to it.
"No. Levi, light choking is hardly a weird kink these days. The internet has practically made that standard." Eren was plainly determined not to admit to anything that could potentially turn Levi away. The entire discussion was his idea, really, though he wasn't going to remind his boyfriend of that any time soon.
They'd been dating for over a year now, and lived together for a few months of that. In all of this time, Eren had never found any of Levi's porn, or even any indication that he indulged in it. Not once had he walked in on an unexpected session of self-pleasure or suspicious clicking over his laptop. Conversely, Levi had caught Eren rubbing one out in the shower on two separate occasions.
Eventually, Eren was beginning to wonder. There was no way their maybe-once-a-week love-making was enough. It rarely lasted long as they both were often exhausted after a long day of work, and never included anything 'out of the ordinary'. Levi was, to put it plainly, vanilla. Eren would think of Levi daily; imagining their legs intertwined and sticky with fluids, his ass stretched out under Levi's hungry gaze as he ravaged him. There wasn't anything that got Eren hotter than having Levi over him, fucking him blind, rough and desperate. But it was never like that. Levi was… gentle. Almost afraid to hurt him, even after all of this time, and despite Eren's insistence at a high pain tolerance. The older male just wasn't getting the hint, no matter how Eren pleaded harder, hooking his heels into his boyfriend's back and encouraging him.
It was shocking, really, when Levi agreed to admit a kink first, and came out with asphixiaphilia. Now, Eren was suddenly shy. They'd spent so much time together, but still, admitting your innermost thoughts to someone is a scary form of trust. Eren couldn't shake the feeling that Levi would think he was weird or disgusting, even though he had no issues with Levi's interest in cutting off his air supply.
Immediately he imagines the image. Levi thrusting in and out of his slack body, rough hand gripping into his throat with just enough pressure to send him into a haze… Eren's face was beet red.
"So, I'm sure whatever kink you could present me with is also the internet's favorite, and thus standard."
Eren really didn't think so. The few times he'd dared search it with the help of good ole' Incognito-Google-Man, it seemed like a rare breed. Mostly he found studies by shrinks who all thought people with his kink were into rape. He assuredly was not into that. In the end, it was so misunderstood that he simply couldn't bring himself to ever admit it aloud. What if Levi didn't know what it was, and Googled, and found the same things he had?! Or just simply dismissed it without even trying to learn about it? The thought that Levi might also be in to it never even crossed his mind.
Levi was growing impatient. Eren had yet to give him any sort of reaction to his own admittance, and so he had no idea if he should take that positively or not. Was Eren put-off? Was he more excited about it than he wanted to admit; too embarrassed? Or perhaps he was simply too nervous about his own secrets to care about Levi's. This made him a bit angry to think about. It took Levi a lot of courage to spill that tid-bit, only for Eren to give him nothing in return. Did Eren not trust him the same?
The true nature of the older man was much darker than he let on. He loved being dominant and in charge. It was one of the reasons he usually took the 'top' roll in his relationships, and had made sure Eren was okay with that before even pursuing him. But now…
Levi was always gentle when they made love. The first time, Eren had been so nervous to bottom that he was clenched tight and causing himself unneeded pain. Levi ended up pulling back out almost immediately after finally entering, and they had gone to bed unfinished and in awkward silence. Since then, Levi was so careful. Afraid if he was too eager or rough that Eren would shy away again. At this point he had fallen for Eren, and had sacrificed his usual dominant bedroom personality to keep him close.
When Eren asked the kinky question, Levi's mind spiraled. He didn't want to scare him away, so he thought of what he could say as an… introductory. Choking is good, right? It'll give him an idea of what I like without telling him everything…. But now Levi was just as nervous as his partner seemed to be.
Eren, on the other side of this awkward silence, was finally gathering courage.
"I….. I r-really like the i-idea of-…." He cut short, taking in a sharp breath as if just almost saying it aloud was painful. Levi stayed silent but kept his face calm, trying hard to just get Eren to trust him. "I'm into somnophilia!" He bursts out, admitting for the first time, feeling both relief and dread crash over him. "I mean, I-… I've looked into it… and imagined it… obviously, never experienced it…" His breath catches as he looks to Levi for some reaction. The man just looks to his young partner thoughtfully for a few long moments.
"Okay." Eren's face goes slack, not understanding how Levi can simply say okay. Didn't he think it was weird? "So you want me to… be asleep? And you…" He tries to work out the scenario in his head, but he has a lot of trouble picturing it. Eren is usually the receiver, and Levi isn't sure of his ability to hold an erection- and perform with it- while sleeping. Not to mention he simply wasn't into taking the submissive role. Not that receiving equals submissive, but that in this case, it would be…
"No… not exactly." Eren's face is still a bright red, from what can be seen from behind his large hands now covering it. Still, he's beginning to feel a bit more confident now that Levi has calmly inquired about it, rather than flinching away. If anything, Levi's face is honestly inquisitive; looking about the bedroom as if already plotting ways for them to work out some fantasy. Finally, their eyes meet. "I want to be the one asleep… obviously."
Obviously! Levi mocks in his mind. The only times Levi has ever heard talk of the kink- back in his younger years when he actually took part in daily porn viewings- it was from the perspective of the person wanting to be awake. It seemed strange to Levi that Eren would want to sleep through something meant to be arousing. How would he even be aroused if he didn't know what was happening to him? As if all of these questions were on his face, Eren answered.
"I mean, I'd pretend, probably… like, just lay really still… and you could, you know. Do whatever you want." His voice was growing small and uncertain from behind his hands. Levi felt like he was starting to understand. "But I'm not into rape! Or anything like that. It's consensual. Consensual somnophilia. If that's a thing."
"You're into objectification." It wasn't a question. Do whatever I want!? Levi was almost drooling.
"Yes." The reply was small. Terrified.
"Okay. Cool." Don't act too eager, don't act too eager!
Eren felt relief wholly, completely. He suddenly felt boneless, as if he'd just run a marathon, and couldn't even be bothered to question how Levi was so perfect. Levi could feel his arousal growing already at just the thought of Eren submitting to him completely. Being allowed to do as he pleased- with consent-, no longer having to walk on eggshells or tip-toe around his desires. Suddenly, over a year's worth of misunderstandings were melting away. How had they been together so long and never simply talked about this? Levi was so grateful to Eren for daring to breach the subject. He was going to reward his little pet.
Suddenly, the atmosphere was different. Eren could see his man's face go darker, eyes hungry and primal. "Thank you for telling me, Eren. I promise to reward you handsomely."
His green eyes were flaring at Levi's words, hopeful and aroused. He received a long, passionate kiss that made his body hum with adrenaline. Then, Levi bid him goodnight, turned out the lamp on his side of the bed, and went to sleep. Eren stared at him, hurt and confused for a long time, before it occurred to him that perhaps this was all a part of it. Levi was simply waiting for him to fall asleep!
It didn't really work that well, in hindsight. Eren hardly slept that night, the anticipation too thick in the air. His cock was hard and tenting beneath the sheets nearly all night, but he didn't dare approach it with a single finger; hoping beyond hope that Levi would turn around and just fuck him already. It never happened.
Levi made Eren wait days. Each night they went to bed, and Eren would lay awake, painfully hard and wanting while Levi snored lightly beside him.
After three days of hardly any sleep, Eren eventually succumbed to exhaustion without a thought. Levi returned home late from work, his long day weighing heavy over his shoulders. As he entered their bedroom he could see Eren, curled just slightly into himself atop the blankets and still wearing his day clothes. Levi knew he was beyond tired. Knew it was his fault. They hadn't spoken a word about the kink discussion since it happened, but he knew Eren hadn't forgotten. This was the moment he had wanted.
Levi decided to let the young man rest a while longer, quietly entering the bath and scrubbing himself clean. He didn't touch his already-hard cock except to clean it; thinking only of what the night would have in store.
He wasn't particularly keen to the idea of fucking someone who wasn't moving- not unless they were immobile due to some restraints or something. It was indeed giving him a rape-y vibe, but Eren had made it clear that consent was important to him, and essentially had given it. Levi knew that Eren wanted this, and that made him want it. He hadn't been able to keep his mind off of it any more than Eren had, he was sure. Levi liked submission and dominance, at least casually. They had gone all of this time with nothing 'new' or 'exciting' to speak of, and he was certainly ready.
When he returned from the bathroom an hour later, Eren was still quite asleep. He hadn't moved an inch, and Levi decided he was glad. The position he'd left himself in was perfect for Levi to get things started.
Circling the bed and coming to rest by Eren, he trailed a rough hand up his partner's side, following the curves of his legs and ass in the bent positon. Eren's shirt easily slid up to reveal smooth skin, and Levi slipped a hand underneath to follow up his chest and play with a nipple. When there was still no response from the sleeping form, Levi found himself amused. He decided to play a little game: How long until Eren wakes up? Because no matter how Eren's kink was to be asleep, there was no way he would truly sleep through the whole ordeal. Not without some kind of outside interference, and Levi wasn't going that far. Drugs are bad, kids.
Levi gently unbuttoned the white shirt, folding it down over Eren's tan shoulders to his elbows before moving to unbuckle the belt around his waist. He could feel the warmth radiating from the slack body, titillating against Levi's hands as they pry the button undone and wiggle the pants down to expose a round ass. The pants stop at Eren's knees, where Levi gives up. He doesn't want to wake Eren and end the game just yet.
Quietly, he slides the nightstand drawer open and extracts a bottle of lube and a condom, closing it quietly behind him. The oily liquid is cold but he pours some over the exposed cheeks regardless. Eren stirs slightly but continues sleeping heavily. One hand massages the flesh of a plump cheek with light pressure, slicking the skin into something beautifully soiled as the other hand reaches to the front.
Eren wakes when he becomes aware of a hand gripping at his erection. Immediately, he adopts the pattern of the quiet, rhythmic breathing that comes with sleep. He works hard to keep his body completely still, but worries his muscles are too tight to pass for unconsciousness. It hardly matters, he realizes, as this is play. Levi will continue pretending so long as he does. Eren has to fight back a moan when one long, slender finger slips inside his already-wet hole. I can't believe I didn't wake sooner! The excitement built up from days of anticipation is almost too much, and he feels close to cumming already with just the one probing digit inside him.
Levi wastes no time in sneaking in a second finger. It enters easily, matching the pace of his pumping hand in front. He knows that Eren is awake, but he's found a new game. How soon until I can get Eren to make a sound? And once Eren makes a sound, surely Levi will find a new game to play. He is enjoying this much more than he thought he would.
Once Eren has taken three fingers as deep as Levi can get them, he can't take the painful strain in his cock any longer. The slicked hole is loose and ready, urging Levi to continue. He rolls the condom over his length with practiced ease, and climbs over Eren, who's breathing is heavy and obvious.
Eren's body moves easily where Levi positions it. He's on his back, legs spread wide and hands over his head. Bare naked, finally. Levi snakes an arm around each knee, hiking them up and bending Eren provocatively in half as he enters the wet heat, thrusting harshly inside with no pretenses, shaking the slack body before him to the core and rocking them together. Eren holds his breath to keep in the loud moan emanating from deep within. He feels like nothing more than a toy for Levi's pleasure; a plaything at the mercy of the powerful man above him. He loves it. He isn't just pretending he can't move anymore. It is like a spell has come over him; paralyses set in by the mind telling him Be still. Relax, and enjoy what is given to you. Chanting it in his mind, he is completely and totally fluid.
"So fucking good, Eren." Levi moans into his neck, planting sloppy kisses there and nibbling at the flesh. He's being rough with Eren for the first time, and already both of them are on the edge of orgasm, loving every moment of it. "You're so fucking good for me, Eren. You like this, you little slut?"
Fuck! Eren never mentioned his love for dirty talk, but Levi seems to have understood more about his kink than he thought.
"Look how easily my cock disappears. This ass was fucking made for my cock." His thrusts are growing erratic, climbing closer and closer to release. Saying filthy things to Eren- things he would never say to his face normally- is so much easier when Eren is meant to be unconscious. Never could Levi bring himself to say this, but he is suddenly brave. When this is over, Eren will 'wake up', not remembering anything. Levi can do or say whatever he likes. One arm releases a knee so he can wrap one hand over the soft skin of Eren's throat, where he presses lightly- just lightly, just enough to feel in control and satisfied.
Eren gasps when he suddenly finds himself empty of Levi and the choking hold gone. He is roughly flipped to his stomach, head to the side so he can breathe, ass perked up into the air just enough for Levi to slide in again; which he does easily. Levi pounds into the sweet flesh mercilessly, shoving Eren up the bed slowly, calling out his name.
"Yes, Eren! Fuck! You're so beautiful like this. Ass wide open and in the air. You can't make a sound, but still you're begging for me to fuck you. Dirty little bitch."
A strong hand fists into chocolate brown locks, tugging and keeping Eren from getting any farther away. Levi feels the moment Eren comes undone beneath him, ass clenching tightly around his shaft and body going rigid. Still, he does a perfect job of playing at unconsciousness even as his own seed spreads over his bedsheets and slicks his stomach. Levi follows closely behind, releasing as deep into Eren as he can reach, never letting go of those soft tufts of hair.
"Yesss. Oh- yeah, take it! Good fucking boy, Eren." He fills Eren up before sliding out slowly, releasing his tight grip and allowing the other to melt into the bed, sated.
Eren doesn't stir, still perfectly in the scene. Completely lost in a bliss he never thought he would feel; deepest desires realized. Levi quickly cleans himself in the bathroom and returns to do the same to Eren. The warm cloth is soft, smoothing down the rough edges of his high. I still can't believe my fantasy just came true… Eren was ecstatic. But now he had no idea what to do! Do I just keep laying here? Should I actually go to sleep? I feel like we need to talk about this…
Levi managed to shift the man around and clean the sheets. Eren showed no signs of moving. His boyfriend's hands were working over his flesh in light massages, and soon Eren could think of nothing but actual rest. After his entire body had gotten some attention, he felt blankets falling over him; bed shifting as Levi climbed in beside him.
A light kiss touches his forehead as he begins to drift.
"I love you, Eren."
"Muhhh…." A moment passes before he notices that he didn't manage any words, but by then he is too gone to try again. Levi merely chuckles, embracing his partner in a warm and comforting hold.
The next morning happened to be Levi's day off, and Eren had only evening classes at college. They slept into late morning until the sun woke them, leaving them grumpy over it but not willing to move. When their eyes met, full of each other's glowing flesh and pink cheeks, they knew neither would be keeping any secrets again.