The Wizarding Talk Show!!!!
by Ron Squeasley
Harry Potter names, logos, and all related are trademarks of J.K. Rowling and WB
This is the Wizarding Talk Show on WWN (Wizard Wireless Network)
~~~~~~~***********************~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie the Announcer: Welcome to WTS (Wizarding Talk Show) on WWN, Here's your host, Ron Squeasley!
*Applaud sign flashes to crowd*
Crowd: *Cheers for Ron Squeasley* and yell in Unison "Behold the Squeas!!!"
Squeasley: Well, said Charley, first thing, I'd like to introduce the other three hosts frodo and Gandalf the grey
and puggy
Puggy: Hello people remember i like Fritos
*Applaud sign flashes*
Crowd: *Applauds*
Squeasley: And now I'd like to introduce our first guest to the show, PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE!
*Applaud sign flashes once again*
Crowd: *applauds*
Snape: *with a usual low,cold voice* Hello, Squeasley, once again.
Frodo: What do you mean "once again"?
Snape: I taught him, though he was a bit of an idiot, How he ever gotten where he is now, is beyond me, For instance, if you look at his hair, you can still see blonde tints, where he tried to use a Brown Hair Potion.
Gandalf: A Simple Hair Potion?
Squeasley: Hey! I was never a blonde!
Snape: You are now.
*Frodo and Gandalf bust up in fits of laughter*
Squeasley: Any way, What about your new book "Grease Off the Greasy Hair"?
Snape: I didn't write that!
Squeasley: Well you need to read it.
*Snape puts a Dancing Spell on Squaesley*
Snape: Tantellegra!
Frodo: whoa! Ron Squeasley is break dancing!
Gandalf: Now he's doing The Robot!
Puggy: Do that funky music white boy do that funky music until you die
*Security runs out and mutters to Squeasley "Finite Incantatem" and Squeasley stops Dancing, And Security starts to chase Snape backstage*
*Gandalf and Frodo continue to laugh*
Squeasley: Merlin's Beard! Is that Harry Potter in the front row? Come on up Harry!
Gandalf: I dont see the importance of him, Voldemort was nothing compared to Sauron! I could have ripped Voldemort another ass hole if you would have asked, I dont think owls can make it to Middle Earth though
Frodo: It's a mirror universe Gandalf, We can barely get here!
*Harry runs onto the stage, and summons Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley to the same*
Squeasley: Hi, Harry, how are you!
Harry: Good, i guess.
Squeasley: Who are your little freinds!
Frodo: Who's callin' me little?
Ron: Excuse me, I am older than Harry.
Harry: You were born in August.
Ron: I was wasn't I?
Hermione: Idiots
Ron: What in the bloody hell kind of name is "Squeasley"?
Squeasley: One I made up.
Ron: Its sounds like it makes fun of me!
Squeasley: maybe it does.
Ron: I'LL GET YOU!!!!!
*Ron tries to pounce on Squeasley, but Hermione and Harry hold on to his robes, a daily occurance*
Harry: Ron, it's not worth it.
Hermione: Yeah Ron, be sensible.
Puggy: And if you would have jumped on him, you would have experienced the most violent pillow fight of your life!
Squeasley: How's it like to be you, all famous and everything?
Harry: It sucks, everyone gawking at my scar, Muggle Neosporin wont work, i hate it.
Gandalf: Harry, stop by some time and I'll give you my Scar Removal Solution.
Squeasley: "Fame is a Fickle friend", Harry, and those words come from Gilderoy Lockhart, our next guest!!!!
Harry and Ron: Oh NO!
Puggy: yes!, the Idiot, why would he take a poor boys spello-taped together wand? God damn he acts like he's high wait i got him wasted back stage!
Ron: He had a Memory Charm accident, and what do you mean by "poor"?
Puggy: I mean you're poor!
Ron: I'LL KILL YOU!!!!
* Ron and Puggy pull out pillows and start wasting each other violently *
*Go, Puggy sign flashes*
Audience: GO PUGGY!
Squeasley, Harry, and Hermione: STOP!!
*Puggy notices the Frito concession stand, and walks over to it, Ron sits down*
Squeasley: OK, Heres Gilderoy Lockhart!
Lockhart: Did someone say my name?
Squeasley: over here Lockhart!
Lockhart: Oh, Yeah, I remember now, hey It's the boy with the sword, Harry something.
Harry: You were my Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher two years ago.
Ron: He must still not know who he is!
Lockhart: I know who I am!
Ron: Who are you?
Lockhart: I am Gilderoy Lockhart, Winner of the Witch Weekly most charming smile Award three times in a row, Order of Merlin Third Class!
Squeasley: I thought you had a Memory Charm accident?
Lockhart: I got it rejuvinated, after that unfortunate accident, when the Charm backfired after I told these two how i stole peoples heroic events, and called them my own!
*GASP sign flashes*
Audience: *GASP*
Lockhart: OH NO! I told you my secret, now I cast Memory Charm on all! OBLIVIATE!!!!!
*Lockhart's charm backfires*
Lockhart: Where am I?
Squeasley: About to be kicked out of the studio!
*Security kicks out Gilderoy Lockhart*
Ron: Told you he was a Bloody *Bleeeep* Idiot. (the show dosen't use words like *Bleeeeep* all other words are fine)
Harry: Ron, Your mother listens to this!
Hermione: Yeah, all the time.
Gandalf: That guy was an idiot!
Frodo: He'd get along with Pippin.
Squeasley: Let's go to a commercial, My definition of a commercial: Brilliant things that pay my salary. Heres one now.
~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~~~
The BlueBottle Broomstick- for the whole family!
Always have the Bigger Staff!
~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~~~
Squeasley: I love commercials, dont you?
*Snape runs onto the stage, followed closely by security*
Snape: Get them away from me you idiots!
Squeasley: I think thats enough for today. Tomorrow we will return with, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ludo Bagman of the department of Games and Sports, And More!!!
Gandalf: Did you say Ludo Bagman? He owes me money!
~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~~
alright, This concludes the first chapter, by Ron Squeasley and Punk Rock Fawkes as Puggy and co-writer.
by Ron Squeasley
Harry Potter names, logos, and all related are trademarks of J.K. Rowling and WB
This is the Wizarding Talk Show on WWN (Wizard Wireless Network)
~~~~~~~***********************~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie the Announcer: Welcome to WTS (Wizarding Talk Show) on WWN, Here's your host, Ron Squeasley!
*Applaud sign flashes to crowd*
Crowd: *Cheers for Ron Squeasley* and yell in Unison "Behold the Squeas!!!"
Squeasley: Well, said Charley, first thing, I'd like to introduce the other three hosts frodo and Gandalf the grey
and puggy
Puggy: Hello people remember i like Fritos
*Applaud sign flashes*
Crowd: *Applauds*
Squeasley: And now I'd like to introduce our first guest to the show, PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE!
*Applaud sign flashes once again*
Crowd: *applauds*
Snape: *with a usual low,cold voice* Hello, Squeasley, once again.
Frodo: What do you mean "once again"?
Snape: I taught him, though he was a bit of an idiot, How he ever gotten where he is now, is beyond me, For instance, if you look at his hair, you can still see blonde tints, where he tried to use a Brown Hair Potion.
Gandalf: A Simple Hair Potion?
Squeasley: Hey! I was never a blonde!
Snape: You are now.
*Frodo and Gandalf bust up in fits of laughter*
Squeasley: Any way, What about your new book "Grease Off the Greasy Hair"?
Snape: I didn't write that!
Squeasley: Well you need to read it.
*Snape puts a Dancing Spell on Squaesley*
Snape: Tantellegra!
Frodo: whoa! Ron Squeasley is break dancing!
Gandalf: Now he's doing The Robot!
Puggy: Do that funky music white boy do that funky music until you die
*Security runs out and mutters to Squeasley "Finite Incantatem" and Squeasley stops Dancing, And Security starts to chase Snape backstage*
*Gandalf and Frodo continue to laugh*
Squeasley: Merlin's Beard! Is that Harry Potter in the front row? Come on up Harry!
Gandalf: I dont see the importance of him, Voldemort was nothing compared to Sauron! I could have ripped Voldemort another ass hole if you would have asked, I dont think owls can make it to Middle Earth though
Frodo: It's a mirror universe Gandalf, We can barely get here!
*Harry runs onto the stage, and summons Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley to the same*
Squeasley: Hi, Harry, how are you!
Harry: Good, i guess.
Squeasley: Who are your little freinds!
Frodo: Who's callin' me little?
Ron: Excuse me, I am older than Harry.
Harry: You were born in August.
Ron: I was wasn't I?
Hermione: Idiots
Ron: What in the bloody hell kind of name is "Squeasley"?
Squeasley: One I made up.
Ron: Its sounds like it makes fun of me!
Squeasley: maybe it does.
Ron: I'LL GET YOU!!!!!
*Ron tries to pounce on Squeasley, but Hermione and Harry hold on to his robes, a daily occurance*
Harry: Ron, it's not worth it.
Hermione: Yeah Ron, be sensible.
Puggy: And if you would have jumped on him, you would have experienced the most violent pillow fight of your life!
Squeasley: How's it like to be you, all famous and everything?
Harry: It sucks, everyone gawking at my scar, Muggle Neosporin wont work, i hate it.
Gandalf: Harry, stop by some time and I'll give you my Scar Removal Solution.
Squeasley: "Fame is a Fickle friend", Harry, and those words come from Gilderoy Lockhart, our next guest!!!!
Harry and Ron: Oh NO!
Puggy: yes!, the Idiot, why would he take a poor boys spello-taped together wand? God damn he acts like he's high wait i got him wasted back stage!
Ron: He had a Memory Charm accident, and what do you mean by "poor"?
Puggy: I mean you're poor!
Ron: I'LL KILL YOU!!!!
* Ron and Puggy pull out pillows and start wasting each other violently *
*Go, Puggy sign flashes*
Audience: GO PUGGY!
Squeasley, Harry, and Hermione: STOP!!
*Puggy notices the Frito concession stand, and walks over to it, Ron sits down*
Squeasley: OK, Heres Gilderoy Lockhart!
Lockhart: Did someone say my name?
Squeasley: over here Lockhart!
Lockhart: Oh, Yeah, I remember now, hey It's the boy with the sword, Harry something.
Harry: You were my Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher two years ago.
Ron: He must still not know who he is!
Lockhart: I know who I am!
Ron: Who are you?
Lockhart: I am Gilderoy Lockhart, Winner of the Witch Weekly most charming smile Award three times in a row, Order of Merlin Third Class!
Squeasley: I thought you had a Memory Charm accident?
Lockhart: I got it rejuvinated, after that unfortunate accident, when the Charm backfired after I told these two how i stole peoples heroic events, and called them my own!
*GASP sign flashes*
Audience: *GASP*
Lockhart: OH NO! I told you my secret, now I cast Memory Charm on all! OBLIVIATE!!!!!
*Lockhart's charm backfires*
Lockhart: Where am I?
Squeasley: About to be kicked out of the studio!
*Security kicks out Gilderoy Lockhart*
Ron: Told you he was a Bloody *Bleeeep* Idiot. (the show dosen't use words like *Bleeeeep* all other words are fine)
Harry: Ron, Your mother listens to this!
Hermione: Yeah, all the time.
Gandalf: That guy was an idiot!
Frodo: He'd get along with Pippin.
Squeasley: Let's go to a commercial, My definition of a commercial: Brilliant things that pay my salary. Heres one now.
~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~~~
The BlueBottle Broomstick- for the whole family!
Always have the Bigger Staff!
~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~~~
Squeasley: I love commercials, dont you?
*Snape runs onto the stage, followed closely by security*
Snape: Get them away from me you idiots!
Squeasley: I think thats enough for today. Tomorrow we will return with, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ludo Bagman of the department of Games and Sports, And More!!!
Gandalf: Did you say Ludo Bagman? He owes me money!
~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~~
alright, This concludes the first chapter, by Ron Squeasley and Punk Rock Fawkes as Puggy and co-writer.