Hello, this is Grey Fish reporting for duty. Well, mostly just Fish but nevertheless.

Okay, this is basically what happens when you are bored out of your mind and drink way too much sobe then what could possibly be considered 'healthy'. A VERY random story that won't make a whole lot of sense.

Summary: We are taking the American dubbed version of Yu-gi-oh and basically screwing up everything from the very first episode. (Yay!) Kaiba is paranoid, Tristan actually knows things, Joey always spouts out random things, every other word Téa says is 'friendship,' Yugi is a perverted little druggie, and Grandpa lives in 'da ghetto.' More insanity to come!

Warning: Extreme OOC and randomness, probably going to get very weird hence the rating. If you can't handle the world being flipped upside down then STOP reading here.

Disclaimer: This will be the only one in the whole story so pay attention. We don't own jack squat so don't sue.

Chapter One: Joey vs. Téa

A boy and a girl were sitting at a small table in a classroom that was surrounded by two other guys, one short with disturbingly spiky hair and the other tall with a cone shaped hair style that would make Elvis turn in his grave.

A girl by the name of Téa put a card down on the table, obviously in the middle of a duel, "I play friendship in friendship mode and end my friendship. Your friendship Joey." She made a peace sign.

The blond headed boy stared blankly at the girl in front of him, "Uh, would you repeat that for me?"

"FRIENDSHIP!" Téa yelled as she stood up and glomped Joey.

"GYAA! DEMON! DEMON!" Joey yelled frantically running around the classroom.

Suddenly a fellow student walked by for some unexplained reason singing, "Final Fantasy is an RPG…" and walked out again.

Yugi blinked but said nothing, stuff like that happened a lot.

"Fine!" Joey finally sat back down at his spot by the table, "Go stone thing, attack!" He called his monster to attack Téa's.

"I activate friendship! Say friendship to your friendship!" Téa pointed at Joey.

"Uhh…in English please?"

"Joey, I think she means you lost." Tristan pointed out.

"Aww dang!" Joey glared at Téa.

"Don't friendship mad Joey." Téa smiled.

Joey's eye twitched crookedly, "DIEEE!"

"Hey I have an idea, let's skip school and go to my grandpa's card shop for no reason at all!" Yugi jumped out of his chair and ran out the door.

"Young man detention!" The teacher yelled at him.

"Screw you prune," Yugi held up three of his fingers, "Read between the lines sucker!" Yugi laughed and proceeded out the door with his friends in tow, they didn't really like math that much either.

Card Shop

A figure was hunched over in a chair and seemed to be talking to a blank wall, "You, wall, must kill Yugi in his sleep. I have made many attempts but they-OH! Yugi, I didn't see you there." Grandpa Muto laughed nervously, "So what are you doing home so soon?"

Yugi gave him a fixed stare, "Skipped School."

"Sounds reasonable." He smiled, "So can I do for yo-"

"It's the only one I need, the only RPG for me…" The same student from earlier passed by yet again singing her song.

"How did she get in here?" Tristan blinked.

"Who cares?" Yugi slapped him, "Gramps, we're bored. Show us some of your lame-ass cards."

"Ohkay dohkay! I'll just pull out one of my cards at random. Yo, yo, yo what do ya know? It happen to be my Blue Eyes!" Grandpa said, turning into a ghetto rapper all of the sudden.

"Ooh…ahh…" The group said sarcastically, that is all except Joey. He had a strange feeling that the old man was mocking his fake Brooklyn accent.

"Now ya'll, I shall rap you a twenty minute story on how I got this lame-ass card!" Grandpa took out his mixing board and started scratching the disks. "I'll tell you a story of a little guy way back…"

"Shove it pops, just give us the dealeo!" Yugi slammed his fist on the counter.

Suddenly the bell to the shop rung in the tune of Outcast as someone walked in the door.

"Major league baseball told me you have a card I want…heh heh heh heh…" A very paranoid voice called from behind them, "YESS! THAT'S THE ONE! BLUE EYES!"

"GACK! IT'S KAIBA!" Joey yelled a tad bit unnecessary.

"How did you know he had a Blue Eyes ya biatch?" Yugi pointed.

"Major league knows everything! Muah hah hah hah! You fools just don't know it yet, they're reading your minds." The CEO pulled out something from behind his back, "Old man, I'll give you this tin foil cap if you give me the Blue Eyes."

"ACK! YES!" Grandpa handed over the Blue Eyes for the small thin layered cap.

"Here, now they can't read you mind!"

"Yo, yo, yo, tis spiffy dawg."

"Grandpa…Why'd you just give him your lame-ass card?" Yugi asked, slapping his hand against his forehead.

"'Cause I needed a new cap."

"I have to agree with gramps man," Joey butted in, "His last one was just plain creepy."

Flashback

Yugi and the usual company were currently having a slumber party when a very loud thump was heard from upstairs.

"Yo Yug', what was that just now?"

"Dunno but I want to find out, come on chump and chumpette."

After kicking Téa awake they journeyed upstairs to see what the source of the 'thump' was. After searching for only a minute they stood in front of Mr. Muto's door and were about to open it when they heard another sound coming from inside.

"Precmmffmumph."

Yugi stared for a second then opened the door, "Yo gramps try to keep it down in here- HOLY CRAP!"

It turned out the old man had fallen out of his bed wearing nothing but his tighty wighties and was sucking on his old orange cap, "Precioussss, musssssst keep sssstupid fat-assssssss midget from ssssssstealing the preciousssssssss."

Well, after that incident Joey, Tristan, and Téa never again spent the night at Yugi's house.

End Flashback

"Heh heh! Now I have to go…Heh heh heh! BEWARE OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL!" Kaiba laughed running out the door.

"Oh, yo Yugi that reminds me kiddo! Ya got a package from the guy who made duel monsters."

"GAH! WHY WOULD I GET A PACKAGE FROM THE LAME-ASS CREATOR GUY!?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE FRICKIN GAME YOU GEEZER! Man, where's my Mary Jane…"

"Yugi, I've told you before. If you won't share with me or company, more importantly me, then MJ is not allowed."

"Well no duh dipshit, if I shared with you then you'd just waste it all."

"How can you possibly WASTE the white stuff man?" The old man looked rather disappointed.

Yugi grabbed the box and opened it. Inside was a videotape and a gift wrapped packet of leafy green powder. Before Yugi could do anything, Grandpa grabbed the packet and jumped onto the nearby kitchen table.

Tristan sighed; his psychologist was going to hear a lot out of him today.

"Yo Yug' lets watch the tape." Joey yelled from across the room.

"Alright, hold on a second chump." Yugi slid the tape into the VCR. The screen popped to life as the creator of duel monsters appeared on the screen



Well that's all you get for now. Please review, flames are welcome. We don't really care what you say or how you say it just as long as you say something.