To Impress a Lady

by mr234scott

If you had one shot, or one opportunity would you take it, or just let it slip. Spike did not let his slip. Spike has just turned 21 and is now aloud to attend mic night in ponyville. He learns that Rarity likes rap music from Twilight, and so he goes on stage and sings to her. Rated T for swearing. Spike x Rarity.

Hello everyone, this is another oneshot I thought of and just want to get it out there. So her it is, "To Impress a Lady".

It was mic night in Ponyville, an event for adults only. Spike had turned twenty-one a few days prior and was aloud to attend, he still had no wings but he had a deeper voice and was as tall a Rarity. He went with the mane six to the mic night. The way it worked was anypony who wanted could go on stage and sing a song, if everypony liked it, they would sing another song. The most one is aloud to sing in a row is four, no pony however has gotten that far. The mic night was a weekly thing held every Friday night. The reason it was for adults only is because most ponies would sing rap songs that contained vulgar language, so foals were not aloud. The seven found a a spot on the grass, the event was always in ponyville park at 9 PM.

Rarity says "Spiky, would you like to sit next to me?"

Spike got nervous, he nodded and sat next to her. Twilight sat next to spike, Rarity then scooted closer to Spike which made him even more nervous.

Twilight whispers in Spikes ear "If you really like her and want to impress her, go on stage and sing. She really like rap."

Spike nods, he had a few songs he liked and would use.

Mayor Mare walks onto the stage and begins "Hello everypony, and welcome to ponyville open mic night. For the new comers, if you want to sing just raise your hand and the one on stage will call on you. If the crowd wants you to sing more you can ask them. You can sing up to four songs in a row, but as we all know, no pony has gotten that far. The only one to get close Furious Vengeance at three, he passed many years ago but he was very good at what he did. Anyway, max of seven minutes per song, if you want you can tell Vinyl the name of the song and she will play the instrumentals for the song. So who wants to go first?"

Spike hesitated at first but realized it might attract Rarity and get her to fall for him. He raised his hand high in the air, Mayor Mare looked across the crowd. Many hooves raised but only one hand.

Mayor Mare asks "Spike, would you like to start us off?"

Spike nods, the mane six, especially Rarity were surprised that Spike wanted to sing. He walked to the stage, the crowd clapped for him as he went to the stage. He walked to Vinyl and told her the name of a song. He then grabbed the mic and walked center stage. He began.

Eminem: Lose Yourself (I don't own this song nor did I create it)

Look, if you had, one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted, one moment
Would you capture it?
Or just let it slip, yo

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin' how, everybody's chokin' now
The clock's run out, times up, over, blaw!

Snap, back to reality, oh, there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit he choked, he's so mad but he won't
Give up that easy, no, he won't have it he knows
His whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter he's dope
He knows that but he's broke, he so stagnant he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again, yo
This whole rhapsody better go capture this moment
And hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

His soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking, make me king
As we move toward a new world order, a normal life is boring
But superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows it's all over, these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the Globetrotter lonely roads

Celestia only knows he's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
These hoes don't want him no mo', he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada, so the soap opera is told it unfolds
I suppose it's old partna, but the beat goes on
Da da dum, da dum da da da da

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothfuckin' roof off like two dogs caged
I was playin' in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin' and stepped, writin' the next cipher
Best believe somebody's payin' the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5

And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these Celestia damn food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin' to feed and water my seed, plus teeter-totter
Caught up between bein' a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screamin' on and too much for me to wanna

Stay in one spot, another day of monotony's
Gotten me to the point I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot or end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin' option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot, so here I go it's my shot
Feet fail me not, this may be the only opportunity that I got

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better lose yourself in the music
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better

You can do anything you set your mind to, man.

Song End

The crowd erupted into cheers, especially the mane six. After the crowd calmed down, Spike asked "Want more?"

Again the crowd cheered wanting more, he walks to Vinyl and asks for another song. He then goes back to center stage and began again.

Eminem: Rap God (I do not own this song nor create it.)

Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings

But I'm only going to get this one chance

Something's wrong, I can feel it

Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen, but I don't know what

If that means, what I think it means, we're in trouble – big trouble – and if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

You were just what the doctor ordered

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox?

They said I rap like a robot, so call me Rapbot

But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes

I got a laptop in my back pocket

My pen'll go off when I half-cock it

Got a fat knot from that rap profit

Made a living and a killing off it

Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office

With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his nut-sack

I'm an MC still as honest

But as rude and indecent as all hell

Syllables, killaholic

This slickety, gibbedy, hibbedy hip hop

You don't really wanna get into a pissing match with this rappidy rap

Packing a Mac in the back of the Ac, pack backpack rap, yep, yackidy-yac

And at the exact same time

I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that

I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table

Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact

How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack

Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a maxipad

It's actually disastrously bad for the wack

While I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece as

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox?

Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard

Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's simply rage and youthful exuberance

Everybody loves to root for a nuisance

Hit the earth like an asteroid, did nothing but shoot for the moon since

MC's get taken to school with this music

Cause I use it as a vehicle to bust a rhyme

Now I lead a new school full of students

Me? I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac N-

-W.A, Cube, hey, Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim

Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position

To meet the CMC and induct them into the motherfuckin' Rock n'

Roll Hall of Fame

Even though I walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames

Only Hall of Fame I be inducted in is the alcohol of fame

On the wall of shame

You fags think it's all a game 'til I walk a flock of flames

Off of planking, tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?

Little gay looking boy

So gay I can barely say it with a straight face looking boy

You witnessing a massacre

Like you watching a church gathering take place looking boy

Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say looking boy

You get a thumbs up, pat on the back

And a way to go from your label everyday looking boy

Hey, looking boy, what you say looking boy?

I got a "hell yeah" from Dre looking boy

I'mma work for everything I have

Never ask nobody for shit, get outta my face looking boy

Basically boy you're never gonna be capable

To keep up with the same pace looking boy

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar

Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God

Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard

So you be Thor and I'll be Odin

You rodent, I'm omnipotent

Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm totin'

And I should not be woken

I'm the walking dead, but I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating

But I got your mom deep throating

I'm out my ramen noodle

We have nothing in common, poodle

I'm a doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil

It's me, my honesty's brutal

But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though

For good at least once in a while

So I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle

Enough rhymes to maybe to try and help get some people through tough times

But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case cause even you unsigned

Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I

Was king of the underground, but I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind

So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine

You get too big and here they come trying to censor you

Like that one line I said on "I'm Back" from the Marshall Mathers LP

One where I tried to say I take seven kids from Columbine

Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine

See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was, but I've Morphed into an immortal coming through the portal

You're stuck in a timewarp from 2004 though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for

You're pointless as Rapunzel with fucking cornrows

You're like normal, fuck being normal

And I just bought a new Raygun from the future

To just come and shoot ya like when Fabolous made Ray J mad

Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Maywhether's pad

Singin' to a man while they played piano

Man, oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel

So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day

''Hey, Fab, I'mma kill you''

Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed, (JJ Fad)

Uh, sama lamaa duma lamaa you assuming I'm a dragon

What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superdragon

Innovative and I'm made of rubber

So that anything you saying ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you

I'm never stating, more than never demonstrating

How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating

Never fading, and I know that the haters are forever waiting

For the day that they can say I fell off, they'd be celebrating

Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

I make elevating music, you make elevator music

Oh, he's too mainstream

Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it

It's not hip hop, it's pop, cause I found a hella way to fuse it

With rock, shock rap with Doc

Throw on Lose Yourself and make 'em lose it

I don't know how to make songs like that

I don't know what words to use

Let me know when it occurs to you

While I'm ripping any one of these verses diverse as you

It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you

How many verses I gotta murder to prove

That if you're half as nice at songs you can sacrifice virgins too

School flunkie, pill junky

But look at the accolades the skills brung me

Full of myself, but still hungry

I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to

And I'm a million leagues above you, ill when I speak in tongues

But it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you

I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel, I'm asleep in the front seat

Bumping Heavy D and the Boys, still chunky, but funky

But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling

Angels fight with devils, here's what they want from me

They asking me to eliminate some of the women hate

But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred that I had

Then you may be a little patient and more symphatetic to the situation

And understand the discrimation

But fuck it, life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then

But if I can't batter the women how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?

Don't mistake it for Satan

It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas

And take a vacation to trip a broad

And make her fall on her face and don't be a retard

Be a king? Think not - why be a king when you can be a God?

Song End

The crowd again cheered in glee at Spike, after a few minutes they quieted down. Spike asked again "Again?"

The crowd cheered louder this time, Spike went to Vinyl and told her another song. He walked back and began.

Eminem: Like Toy Soldiers (I don't own this song nor did I make it)

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down...

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win

But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure

Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders

I ain't never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it

Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter

I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to

I'm supposed to set an example

I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em

If some shit ever does pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em

That Ja shit I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it

There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it

I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it

It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit

And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it

I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted

And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it

This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it

That was never my object for someone to get killed

Why would I wanna destroy something I help build

It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good

I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge

And that was just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth

And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about

Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef

So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth

While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life

Like fuck it i understand this is business

And this shit just isn't none of my business

But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cause

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win

But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme

And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'

But now it's elevated cause once you put someone's foals in it

The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?

It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'

We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'

Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him

And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him

Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him

Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it

Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions

Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk

Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his resurrection

Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record

But now he's fucked the game up cause one of the ways I came up

Was through that publication the same one that made me famous

Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'

Well fuck it, that motherfucker can get it too, fuck him then

But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think

That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.

And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind

We still have soldiers that's on the front line

That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders

Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us

We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus

To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is

To have Runyan Avenue, soldiers up in our corners

Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is

But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered

It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it

Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the verdict

I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further

But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'

I'm just willin' to be the bigger man

If ya'll can quit poppin' off at the jaws, well then I can

Cause frankly I'm sick of talkin'

I'm not gonna let someone else's coffin rest on my conscience cause

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win

But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

Song End

This time the crowd was louder than before this time, then they began chanting the word "Encore". Spike says "I guess my question is already answered." He walks to Vinyl and tells her the song, then he walks to center stage and starts.

Eminem: Kill You (I do not own this song nor did I make it)

When I was just a little baby boy

My momma used to tell me these crazy things

She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man

She used to tell me he hated me

But then I got a little bit older

And I realized, she was the crazy one

But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it

Cause that's just the way she was

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (guess why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you (ha ha)

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you

They said I can't rap about being broke no more

They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more

Slut, you think I won't choke no whore

Til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?

These mothafuckas are thinking I'm playing

Thinking I'm saying the shit cause I'm thinking it just to be saying it

Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you

I'ma pull you to this bullet and put it through you

Shut up slut, you're causing too much chaos

Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay Ma?

"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore

Snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"

You're goddamn right bitch, and now it's too late

I'm triple platinum and tragedies happened in two states

I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches

Vain Vicodin, vrin vrin vrin!

Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all

Dangling from his neck, while his head barely hangs on

Blood, guts, guns, cuts, knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Bitch I'mma kill you

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (guess why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you (ha ha)

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you

You don't wanna fuck with me

Mares neither, you ain't nothing but a slut to me

Bitch I'mma kill you, you ain't got the balls to beef

We ain't gonna never stop beefing I don't squash the beef

You better kill me, Imma be another rapper dead

For popping off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't have said

But when they kill me, I'm bringing the world with me

Bitches too, you ain't nothing but a mare to me

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (guess why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you (ha ha)

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you

Bitch I'mma kill you

Like a murder weapon, I'mma conceal you

In a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you

Fuck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up

I'm tryna develop these pictures of Sombra to sell 'em

I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid

Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added

Whoops! Is that a subliminal hint, no

Just criminal intent to sodomize women again

Spike the Dragon offend, no, Spike the Dragon'll insult

And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse

To do it again then, if he does it again

You'll probably end up jumping out of something up on the tenth

Bitch I'mma kill you, I ain't done, this ain't the chorus

I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest

A bloodstain is orange after you wash it 3 or 4 times

In a tub.. but that's normal, ain't it Norman

Serial killer hiding murder material

In a cereal box on top of your stereo

Here we go again, we're out of our medicine

Out of our minds and we want in yours, let us in or I'mma kill you

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (guess why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you (ha ha)

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you

Know why I say these things

Cause lady's screams keep creeping in Shady's dreams

And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks

These 80 G's a week to say the same things tweece

Twice, whatever, I hate these things

Fuck shots, I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks

Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows

Just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink

Fuck that! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer

From fat bitch to all 70,000 pounds of her

From principal to the student body and counselor

From in-school to before school to outta school

I don't even believe in breathin', I'm leaving air in your lungs

Just to hear you keep screaming for me to seep it

OK, I'm ready to go play, I got the machete from O.J

I'm ready to make everyone's throats ache

You faggots keep egging me on

'til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop

Shut up, give me your hands and feet

I said shut up when I'm talkin' to you, you hear me, answer me

Or I'mma kill you

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (guess why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you (ha ha)

I said you don't wanna fuck with Spikey (why)

Cause Spikey will fucking kill you

Ha ha, I'm just playing, ladies

You know I love you

Song End

The crowd erupted into a loud cheer, Mayor Mare walks on stage and Spike hands her the mic.

Mayor Mare begins "Well, there you have it. Spike the dragon is the first to reach the song limit. Congratulations, now, who wants to go next. Pick Spike."

Spike looked at the crowd, Spike then says "Carrot Top."

She gets up and walks towards the stage as Spike gets off, he then goes back to the spot next to Rarity and Twilight.

Twilight says "Spike that was amazing, you were-"

Rainbow interrupts "SO AWESOME."

Fluttershy says "You rocked Spike, woohoo."

Rarity says "Spike, can I speak with you in private."

Spike nods, he stands and follows Rarity as everypony watches Carrot Top. They stop at the big oak tree at the top of one of the hills in the park. Once behind it Rarity stopped and sat.

Spike asks "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Rarity replies "Twilight told me."

Spike was taken by this, he began to sweat. He then sighed before saying "Yes, its true. I am in love with you. You are so kind, and sweet and beautiful and scared of reg-"

He was interrupted when Rarity pressed her lips against his. Spike was startled at first but then began to kiss back. Once they separated a string of saliva connected the two.

Rarity replies "I love you to, I've had a crush on you for about a month. I realized that I loved you when I realized how long you've helped me and my problems, and I never new why. You also grew into a very handsome dragon and are very sweet. I was very excited when Twilight told me the truth."

Spike asks "Y-you do?"

A few tears emerged from Rarity's eyes, she then smiles before saying "Yes, I love you so much."

Spike began to shed tears of joy to, he said "I love you to Rarity."

They embraced each other and began crying onto each other. They then began to make out, Rarity pushed her tongue into Spikes mouth who gladly excepted it by opening his and began to wrestle with her tongue. After a few minutes they separated, Spike was on top of Rarity at this point.

Rarity says "We should head back, they are probably wondering where we are."

Spike nodded, he helped her up and kissed her on the cheek. Rarity says "I'm so glad Twilight told me about your crush on me. I should thank her later."

Spike replies "Yea, I'm not so mad at her now."

They then walked away holding hand and hoof.

Well, there you have it. A cute little sparity oneshot. That's all for now, let me know if you want more of these oneshots, and check out my other stories "A journey across dimensions" and the sequel "Second Chances". See you later.