Dance With Destiny

Chapter 1

The countryside was a dark, passing blur of colours as the carriage made its way swiftly along the gravel path that led to the seashore. All was quiet except for the soothing, rhythmic thumping of horse hooves and the gentle blowing of the wind.

Gazing silently out the window, Christine stared at her own ghostly face reflecting back in the darkness. It was long past midnight, and she drew her cloak tighter around her shoulders to ward of the chill, praying for the hundredth time that Raoul would not come to notice her sudden disappearance from her room at the inn. The past week had been a mad frenzy as they travelled from place to place, never staying long, and she wished they'd slowed their pace now that they were already far from Paris. Raoul was anxious to move as fast as possible, and would not be satisfied till they were out of France and far away, as he had decided, in London. In a way she understood his fear-that desperate wish to escape the ghastly shadows of the past which seemed to persue them endlessly every step of the way.

Soon the carriage slowed as the dark blue sea came into view. She opened the door and stepped out into the cool, salty air. The sand felt soft and soothing beneath her tired feet, and requesting that the carriage driver return in an hour, she slowly made her way up a bare, rocky path that led to a low grassy cliff overlooking the ocean. The wind tugged at her hair, its cold, billowy fingers dancing across her skin, making her ascend difficult. She felt herself nearly slip a few times on the damp, seaweed-strewn ground, and reached out wildly, grabbing at the rocky, uneven wall of the steep cliff to keep from falling.

At the top, the gale had died down somewhat but the chill lingered and she drew her coat tightly around her shoulders, lifting her skirt to sit down. Staring at the moonbeams dancing across the water like thousands of precious jewels, she could not help but wonder at the beauty and simplicity of it all. Letting out a sigh, Christine watched as her breath turned to mist before her eyes, fading into the night. Her heart grew troubled once more, as thoughts that had plagued her since that day returned in a maddening rush. The frenzy of emotions tugged at her soul as she bit her lower lip, willing them to disappear and leave her cold and empty. Somehow, she knew her efforts were futile.

Closing her eyes she let her mind drift back... the flames... vividly, greedily devouring the grand structure of the Opera House. Screams rang out in all directions, as Raoul dragged her along the maze of endless corridors and scorching heat, out into the cool night air. She had looked back then... and somehow here she was, still not able to let go. Still looking to the past, to the life she knew now was long gone. He had sent her away and she had left without putting an end to everything. She wished now that she had... instead of leaving things the way they were... she wished she had the chance to understand all that she had felt for him...

There were times when he had provoked such fear in her to the point when she wanted nothing more than to escape him, despite the fact that she knew he could never allow himself to hurt her. And there were those moments when he held her so close, and she wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in the moment for an eternity, savouring every breath... every touch, knowing that nothing else on earth would make her feel that way again.

An old memory stirred within her in the midst of her racing thoughts, and in her mind she heard Raoul's voice, laced with exasperation cry out,

"Why, you love him! Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love, and love of the most exquisite kind. The kind which people don't admit, even to themselves!"

Those words that had only served to frustrate her back then now bore a whole new meaning. Perhaps it was that. Perhaps it was so plain and simple to see. If he had truly loved her in such a way, then it was that love that had driven him to the brink of insanity. Behind the mask of fury and hatred was a man. As he said, not a ghost, not an angel nor a genious but a man. Erik had shown her that part of him beneath the facade of a monster. And what had she done? Betrayed him, lied to him, and destroyed the one man who had given her life through his music.

She drew a deep breath, now consumed with a new realisation and a sudden burst of self-loathing. He had wanted her with him...

...And she had wanted to stay... for a brief moment, before he had allowed her to take Raoul and leave him alone to the mercy of the approaching mob after she had given him what he never thought she would. The kiss was an act of desperation on her part, it was true. But after the first few moments it had deepened into something more... something driven purely by her sudden and overpowering need to grasp on to him and never let go, and the aching awareness that it would be their first and last. The barriers between them had been broken that night and for once in her lifetime she struggled in a final attempt to pour her heart, mind, and soul out to him, letting the tears flow freely between them in a messy tangle of raw, desperate emotions.

And all that she had done solely by her own will... that was what confused and plagued her the most. It tugged at her heart and conscience every moment she was awake, threatening to break her. Nothing could feel this wrong, and yet, at the same time, so very right.

However, this, this was wrong... clinging on when she knew the decision had been made for them... the decision that it was never meant to be from the start.

Would she now spend the rest of her life looking back? Was it possible that she could live a day without replaying those final moments again and again in her head and questioning the future?

Emptiness gnawed harshly at her soul, as the loneliness that she had been fighting to quell slowly returned.

The cold bit at her fingers and she shifted on the rocky ground. How could she be certain that this was what she truly wanted for the rest of her life? Christine twisted the heavy fabric of her cloak in her fingers, shaking her head. This was the only way it could ever be. She would have to pick up the pieces, forget, and start anew.

Reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair aside, the sudden feel of cold wetness on her cheeks surprised her.

She closed her eyes, and despite the torrent of thoughts that raged within her, prayed desperately for strength when inside she felt she had nothing left within her to go on.

Erik stood silently, staring at his reflection in the black waters of the underground lake. The few remaining candles cast an eerie glow on his scarred features, and once again he was glad of the darkness that hung over his lair like a heavy blanket, hiding the damage which the unmerciful mob had caused. As splinters of wood cracked beneath his feet he moved closer to the edge of the water, staring down at the monster reflected back at him... the face which he would never be able to escape from.

Clenching his fists tightly, he felt the fiery anger once again coursing through his veins and he wished once more to dig his fingers into the soft flesh, tearing away the horror that had been his curse for a lifetime. There was simply no reason for his existence... did God have a purpose for him or was he just another mistake created by a slip of fate?

Silently he cursed that God; the one whom they said would never forsake his children. God was to blame for this... for the face that was now staring back at him mockingly from the watery depths.

He felt his tears once again begin to prick at his eyes. The wave of anger had disappeared as quickly as it came, and he suddenly felt suffocated by the black darkness that enfolded him. He wanted to escape... to forget. He didn't want to feel anymore... the rising sweeps of emotions were unbearable and he couldn't stand them anymore than he could stand the thought of being alone once more.

Loneliness... here, in this darkness, in this hell he was condemned with, it was all he truly ever had. It was his friend, his companion. He would learn to embrace it for it was all he could ever hope to possess. A new wave of exhaustion swept over him... he didn't want to fight anymore... he didn't have to strength to continue or to hold back the tears. Everything was now simply reduced to dust. Nothing more. What difference would it have made any other way?

Letting his gaze linger on the smooth surface of the ring he now held in his open palm, his felt his heartbeat quicken. This was it...a stabbing reminder of what had taken place before. Pain came over him in a mad rush at the sight of it, and he closed his fingers over the tiny object, clutching it tightly in his shaking fist. She had given his love back along with the ring, and the finality of it hurt him more than ever.

His fingers skimmed the cold surface of the water before him, and he lifted his palm over it, watching the ring glimmer in the candlelight. He could put an end to all of it quickly... let the ring sink into the murky depths of the lake, its memories buried forever in the thick blackness. There would be no more Christine... no more love, and no more hope. His life would be empty... meaningless, but at least he would be numb. It was the only comforting thought his mind could bear to conjure in the bleak darkness. There would be nothing left to prove that there was once a time when he had loved and lost...

All he had to do was drop the ring.

His hand trembled and he closed his eyes, willing his fingers to pry themselves from the tiny object. Erik's head throbbed painfully as everything around him seemed to melt away. There was only this... the option was spread openly before him, all he had to do was reach out and take it.

It all happened so fast. In a flash, as fast as he had lifted his hand, he withdrew it, feeling the smothering sensation lift as his world come into view once more.

He couldn't do it... he couldn't. To loose the only reminder he had of her was to deny all that he had once lived and breathed for. He couldn't let it die, now that she was all he had left to love.

Turning away from the lake, he started to make his way through his damaged home once more, picking his way through the debris and soot. He should have hated himself for being a coward, he knew. But somehow, in a way, there had been certain braveness in his accepting the past and not casting it away. For all the wrong that he had ever done, this was his punishment... and his curse was to live with it.

A/N: Please review... any form of feedback would make my day!