Disclaimer: I don´t own CSI or any of it´s characters even if I really wish I could.
A/N: This came to my mind as I watch an episode of Emergency Room. It´s really sad and you shouldn´t read it if you don´t like sad stories. oh and by the way it´s GS, because well, they are meant to be together!
To the people who read my other story „Tears of a butterly": I ´m really sorry I haven´t updated for so long, but I really have a writer´s block. I´m thinking about removing that story, but I´m not sure yet.
I hope you´ll like this, let me know what you think.
When heaven´s missing an angel
It had all went quiet in the small hospital. Most visitors had gone home when the night came. Only two people were on the floor for premature born children. They stood next to the small incubator their little daughter slept in. The nappy she was wearing seemed too big for her tiny body. She couldn´t breath on her own so the doctors had decided to put a tube into her throat to give her artificial respiration. She had been born way too early. Two month and a half to be exact. It had been three month since her birth but still she wasn´t able to breath on her own.
„She´ll never be able to live a normal live. Maybe she´ll never breath on her own." The doctor had told them this morning. „You should decide if you really want your baby to go through this or if you want her to die in peace. You can take your time to decide. I know this isn´t easy for you." And with these words he had left them alone again. It had been the hardest thing they´d ever decided in their lifes. The whole day they´d fought against their emotions in this issue but finally they decided to not let their daughter suffer. She should be able to die in peace. They loved her to much to let her get a life like this. And so they told the doctor.
The sun had completely vanished from sky and now they were standing next to their daughters bed while the nurse was turning off the arficial breathing and getting the small tube out of the baby´s throat.
„How long will it take for her to...?" Grissom´s asked, his voice trailing off. He couldn´t speak out the words.
„An hour, maybe longer. Sometimes they really fight hard to breath and sometimes they have already given up." The nurse answered in a soft tone. She knew this situation. She´d often been there when a child lost his battle. And she knew how hard it was to watch your child die. But it also helped to say goodbye. She took the small baby out of the incubator and wrapped a blanket around her tiny body. Sara was already sitting on the bed next to her daughters, waiting for the baby to be put into her arms.
„Take your time." The nurse whispered as she got out of the room to let them have some time alone with their dying child.
„Look, she tries. She tries to breath." Sara whispered, watching her baby´s chest slowly rise and fall. Tears were running down her face as she spoke but she tried to stay calm. Why did this have to happen to them? She didn´t do anything wrong during her pregnancy, she hadn´t done any fieldwork in month and ate regularly. She and Grissom were so happy when they found out they were having a baby. After the premature birth they had hoped so badly that their baby could make it. That she could magically breath on her own someday and develop as a normal born child would. They went to the hospital to visit their daughter everyday. They talked to her and stroked her tiny hands and cheeks to tell her how much they loved her. They couldn´t hold her very often because she needed to stay inside the incubator but time after time they were allowed to hold her even if just for a few minutes and it were the happiest minutes they´d ever known. They both loved their child more than anything, they´d waited for it for so long but then all their dreams were shattered...
Grissom watched his baby just as careful as Sara did while he tried to fight the tears welling up in his eyes. He had to be strong for Sara. If he broke down who would be there to comfort her when it was over? But as he watched how his daughter´s breathing got weaker, how she lost her battle with life he couldn´t hold the tears back any longer. And so they just sat on the bed with their baby, silently saying goodbye to a life barely lived. Both lost their feeling for time completely, they only concentrated on their daughter. Sara could feel her heart beat under her hand, one time, two times...and finally the beating faded and vanished completely. Her breathing stopped and she was gone.
„Goodbye my little butterfly." Sara sobbed, giving her baby one last kiss on the forehead while Grissom stroked her cheek carefully.
They both stayed inside the room for a while longer holding their dead baby, before laying her body onto the bed. After laying her down Sara immediatly turned around, not able to look back at her dead child. Grissom bend down one last time to kiss his baby on the cheek.
„Goodbye." He whispered tearfully.
Grissom then moved to stand next to Sara and wrapped his arms around her. She cried silently into his shoulders as his own tears ran down his face.
„Why her Gil? Why us?" She asked quietly.
„I don´t know. But we did what was the best for her. We loved her enough to let her go and we´ll remember her, no matter what happens." Grissom answered trying to comfort her.
They stood their in each others arms until the morning came and the first sunlight of the day lit up the room. That night changed their lifes and they would never be the same again. Ever.
The End