A loud rumble shook through the cavernous stomach, chucking Mario into the air.

He didn't wake up.

Another loud rumble, this time chucking him further into the air.

Still no signs of life.

An even louder rumble shook the stomach, throwing Mario towards the roof – and cracking his head quite badly on it.

That woke him up.

He shot up straight, glancing around his position. He looked up.

W…what is that? He thought groggily.

A few seconds of silence.

Wait…didn't Bowser…OH GOD!!!

He stared upwards in sheer panic now.

Bowser…he…he INHALED me! But…how? He didn't EAT me, he just sort of…vacuumed me up…

He shook himself. No time to think about that! I've got to get outta here!

He set off at a brisk pace down into the bowels of Bowser's Trash Pit.

*

"HEY! LEMME GO!"

What? Who-who's there?

He stepped into the room and glanced upwards, where the noise had come from. He stifled a laugh.

Starlow, the star sprite, had got herself caught in an amoeba, and was arguing furiously with it.

"NOT how to treat a lady. HEY! Stop…Stop it! That…TICKLES! HEY!"

Giggling to himself, Mario leapt into the bowl shaped room. He came across a pipe-like obtrusion.

Wait…that can't be what I think it is…

"GLOBIN!"

Huh? "Who's there?"

"It is I, Emoglobin!" An orange square descended in front of him. It sort of looked like it was made out of liquid, and long ribbon – like things were squirming inside it. "I am a Globin with wise-type tendencies, globin. But…" the globin paused, staring intently at Mario. "What is a traveller doing in here, globin? None of us globin sees any travellers around here, globin…"

Does he HAVE to say globin at the end of each sentence?

"Alright, if you're so wise, would you kindly tell me what this is in front of me?"

The Emoglobin floated downwards, staring at the pipe.

"GLOBIN!" That, my globin friend, is a PIPELIN! (globin)"

"A what now?"

"Aah, the pipelin…how I dream of standing on your peak and pressing DOWN, globin…"

"Down? What the hell has down got anything to do with it?"

"I…have no idea, globin. That is the way of the wise Globin, globin".

"The wise Globin Globin?"

"No, the wise Globin, globin"

"Globin Globin?"

"GLOBIN – AH FORGET IT, GLOBIN!" the Emoglobin screamed and flew off.

So this…is a pipe? Like the ones in the Mushroom Kingdom?

"Might as well give it a go…" Mario muttered to himself. He leapt into the pipe.

It contracted into itself, then blew him upwards.

"WAHOO! THIS IS – OUCH!"

He wacked his head on a '!' block.

Ouch…I've gotta get used to this head bashing malarkey…

A slight rumble shook the cave, and something caught the corner of Mario's eye.

ANOTHER pipe?

"Here we go again…" Mario sighed as he leapt into the pipe.

It blew him upwards into a '!' block again, but this time Mario craned his head back and punched it. It had the desired effect.

Another pipe appeared in the middle of the room.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS ITALIAN! How many are there?

Up he rose, and hit the amoeba which was encasing Starlow. It burst. All over Mario.

Oh god. This is gonna take FOREVER to get out…she better be grateful for me saving her…although aren't star sprites meant to be very powerful? Surely she could've blasted it or some such thing?

Another thought quickly followed: Dammit, I'm starting to sound like Toadsworth…

"MARIO! You saved – EUGH! You're covered in amoeba"

"Well, I DID burst you out of it," Mario snapped at the small, round, yellow star sprite in front of him.

"Jeez Mario, it was only a joke. But seriously, thanks for saving me," Starlow said.

She ended on a whisper… Mario thought. Just what Peach does when she's gonna…Oh god. Don't say she is going to…yes, she is. Well…I dunno. Should I? Oh, what the hell!

Starlow hovered slightly closer, and kissed him full on the mouth.

Might as well feign surprise.

Mario's eyes bulged, and Starlow moved away.

"S-Starlow?! What was that?!" he gasped.

The star sprite giggled nervously and blushed, turning herself crimson.

"Oh…you know, it was…er…thanks,"

"Thanks?!"

"Yeah! That kiss was my way of saying thank you for saving me! Peach does that, right?"

"Yeah, but she's DIFFERENT!"

"Different?" Starlow's voice dropped into a low and dangerous whisper. "Different? In what way, Mario? Please, do tell. I'm all ears…oh wait, that's because I'm JUST THAT! As well as two pairs of feet and a little round yellow ball! Just because I'm different, huh? Well, go on. Tell,"

Oh Jesus…why do all women get so moody?

"Starlow…I didn't mean it that way…it's just…well, you're a different species-"

"WHAT?!"

Oh god, that came out wrong.

"No, no!" Mario said, shaking his head and putting his hands up as if to ward off a blow. "That's not what I meant! I mean…wasn't it a bit weird for you, too?"

Starlow glared at him, then deflated.

"You know…I know what you're saying. It WAS weird. I'm…sorry, Mario…" Her eyes moistened.

Oh, now she's gone and opened the waterworks. Gotta try and wangle my way outta this…

"Now, Starlow, don't cry," Mario murmured, enveloping the startled star sprite in a hug. "You don't need to cry…"

"Wha…Mario…wha…" Starlow stuttered.

"I said…" Mario whispered, staring down into her confused face. He leaned closer. "…You don't need to cry,"

And then he kissed her.

Starlow stared at him. Then she closed her eyes and started to kiss back.

They stayed like that for a full minute – maybe longer, Starlow didn't have that much concept of time in that moment – and then broke apart. Mario smiled at her.

"What…Mario…" Starlow breathed.

"You know, we've got to find a way out of here," Mario reminded her, winking.

"Ye…Yeah, you're right. We need to find a way outta here," Starlow agreed, the commanding edge returning to the star sprite's voice. She flew out of his arms and peered down the long passage.

"Nothing down there, but…" Starlow trailed off.

"But what, Starlow?" Mario questioned.

"There's a whole load of those amoeba type things down there," she whimpered, flying straight back into his arms.

"Oh. Them. Well, they're Goombules," Mario explained.

"Goombules?"

"Yeah. One of them had you trapped. Look below,"

Starlow peered down into the cavernous gloom. A cell–like goomba was walking about.

"THAT?!" she shrieked, cowering into his arms.

"Yes and jeez Starlow…no need to shout," Mario cringed.

"Oops…sorry," she whispered.

"We better get going," Mario said.

Starlow snuggled deeper into his arms.

"Er…Starlow…I'll need my arms to fight, y'know…"

"What?" She stared up at him, confused.

"Get out of my arms, please," Mario reiterated.

Stony faced, she flew out of his arms, knocking him backwards.

"Starlow! No need to get into a mood! You know I need them to fight!" Mario called after her.

No response.

Mario sighed – then suddenly the star sprite's face was right up against his.

"You need to fight, huh? Well, why can't I…be where I was? All you do is jump on them," she hissed.

"But I use my arms to swing a hammer," Mario said, and then faltered, remembering.

"You don't have one though, do you?"

"No…oh. Sorry, Starlow. Of course you can be cradled," Mario said, spreading his arms open wide.

The star sprite considered it for a moment, mock anger on her face now, then her face relaxed and she zoomed straight for him.

"Cradled?" She asked as she felt him hug her close.

"Yes, cradled. Y'know, for a boisterous young star sprite, you can be a bit of a baby sometimes,"

Starlow giggled and snuggled deeper into his arms. "I know I am,"