He straightened the rumpled bedclothes with a sharp yank and afterwards smoothed the duvet with the palm of his hand. The fourth espada secretly prided in his housekeeping skills, something which Grimmjaw never failed to jeer at whenever the opportunity presented itself. "Aizen's maid," "terminal OCD" and "neat freak" were some of the many names that Grimmjaw came up with within the scope of his limited vocabulary and free time.
Ulquiorra would then direct his deadpan look at Grimmjaw and utter,
"Trash."
Which would send Grimmjaw into reciting angry poetry that always went along the lines of making sure that next time he shoved "two sugarcubes" up a hole other than the one on his neck. This would not only ensure his absence but "twice as much airing time and panels for the jaguar king."
But it was true that Ulquiorra hated mess. He could not resist changing his uniform after every fight. The one other espada who shared this neatfreakdom was Szayel-Apollo.
"Dear Renji, I must go change my uniform" was what the flamboyant mad scientist said before he strutted off during the middle of a strenuous battle. And that was the last they ever saw of him. Szayel, unsurprisingly, became a living legend of Hueco Mundo.
Or so the story goes.
Today, his uniform was a mess. A bloody mess. He was not only tired of changing his uniform for the nth time on the same day but also having to deal with somebody who had the resiliency of a cockroach. It was an anomaly how this sixteen-year-old grouchface resurrected without fail every time he punched a hole through the base of his neck. It was almost like one of those Tekken-style bad dreams where you had to sacrifice your arms and legs to defeat your opponent but only did so to face a "Round Two."
Except this was real.
Ulquiorra inwardly cringed at the idea of going down in Aizen-sama's ledgerbook as the espada who was butchered alive by some boy with a giant sushi knife. If Grimmjaw hadn't been enjoying his sand bath after facing a rather humiliating defeat from Kurosaki, then at least that would make the two of them. Sashimi-ed.
At least the boy tried. He displayed a pigheadedness that was unusually common in most manga male men. "I can do it," "I'll defeat you," "Because our friendship matters." And they would suddenly be overcome with emotion and undergo a slap-in-the-face physical transformation.
Of course this wasn't Ulquiorra's fault. He naturally knew these things. The internet, the free afternoons, and scanlations weren't for nothing.
"I'M GOING TO DEFEAT YOU, ULQUIORRA, AND TAKE ORIHIME HOME." His prey wailed angrily.
Ulquiorra sighed.
It was going to be a long day.
This is my first drivel. It's more like a prelude for things to come and partly written to stave off boredom for a couple minutes. Any suggestions? Any pairings?