Will I Lose My Dignity?

Jeff/Adam

~ dedicated to JoMoFan-Spot~

AN: This is gonna be slightly AU and OOC cause I had to come up with a reason Adam needed the transfusion. Haven't written anything in a while, so forgive me if the first few chapters are short and slightly sucky, just gimme time.

Adam groaned slightly as he opened his eyes. He hadn't slept very well the night before. Truth be told he hadn't slept well for the past six months. Doctors had said it was just a side effect of the anti-retroviral medication he was taking to combat the HIV virus. "It's normal Adam," they would all say. Adam would simply shake his head. Nothing about his life had been normal since the blood transfusion. He was regretting letting Jeff talk him into it now. Sure his anemia was no longer responding to basic vitamin therapy, but he could've lived with that. That transfusion changed his life forever. The transfusion that doctors said would "save his life" had condemned him to certain death.

Adam sat up in bed with another groan as the smell of freshly brewed coffee made it's way up the stairs. "Jeff must be making breakfast again," Adam said to himself. He didn't know why Jeff bothered anymore, the damn pills made him so nauseous he could barely eat anything anyway, when he took them at any rate. Since his diagnosis, getting the stubborn blonde to take his medication had been a battle every time his beeper went off. Slowly Adam drug himself out of bed and toward the stairs. Since he was still in the so called early stages of the virus, his bad days seemed to come few and far between, and today seemed like it was going to be a good day.

Jeff smiled when Adam sat down at the kitchen table, turning to face the older man when he saw him. "Hey darlin," Jeff drawled gently, turning back around to flip the pancake that currently sat on the griddle. "You get any sleep?"

"Do I ever anymore?" asked Adam as he stuck his finger in the plastic cup that sat in front of his normal seat, holding his morning pills. He spun the cup around in circles before pushing it back and forth between his hands on the table.

Jeff looked up after placing the pancake on a plate and chuckled before pouring Adam a cup of coffee and bringing it to him. "Stop playing with your pills and take them you big goofball," Jeff said, setting the coffee mug down in front of him.

"Don't wanna," muttered Adam with a pout.

Jeff sighed softly. "Addy, do we have to do this today?" Jeff asked. "Can't you just take your meds just once without arguing with me?"

"No," said Adam matter-of-factly.

"And why not?" Jeff asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"That'd be to easy," Adam replied simply. "Where's the fun in that?"

Jeff just chuckled and shook his head. "You're such a brat baby."

Adam grinned broadly and nodded. "I know I am," he said proudly, "but you love me for it."

The southern blonde smiled. "Damn right I do," Jeff said, heading back over to tend to the food on the stove. "Now take your pills."

Adam grumbled under his breath about how he hated the medicine in question as he poured them into the palm of his hand. He ran his finger over each of them before dumping them into his mouth and taking them with a sip of his coffee. "Happy now?" he grumbled.

Jeff sighed, carrying a plate of pancakes, bacon and eggs over Adam. "No need to be sour baby," Jeff said, kissing the top of the older blonde's head.

Adam gave a small smile and started to eat, watching Jeff sit down with a plate of his own. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Not much," replied Jeff between bites of bacon and pancake. "You have an appointment this afternoon."

Adam rolled his eyes and didn't respond. He'd been hoping Jeff would forget about that. The older blonde was getting sick of going to so many doctors.

"Before you even ask, yes you have to go," Jeff said, going to the fridge for a glass of orange juice.

"What's this one for?" Adam asked, pushing his eggs around with his fork.

"Bloodwork," Jeff said, wrapping an arm around Adam's shoulders as he headed back toward the table. He smiled gently when the older blonde looked up at him. "I know you don't wanna go through all this Addy, but I'm only tryin' to look out for you."

Adam nodded. "I know baby, I'm just getting tired of it, that's all."

Jeff sighed and kissed Adam's forehead. "I know you are darlin' I know."

Adam stood up, setting his plate of barely touched food on the counter by the sink. "I think I'm gonna go sit out on the porch swing Jeffy," he said. "I think the fresh air will do me good."

Jeff nodded. "I'll come out and sit with you when I go check on the dogs," Jeff said.

Adam nodded again and headed outside, not really caring that he was in nothing but his sleep pants. Who the hell would see him anyways. He sat down on the porch swing with sigh. He was getting so tired of it all, all the doctors, all the pills, and most of all, all the pity. He felt like his friends had started treating him differently after he got sick and he hated it. More than anything he felt like he'd been given no choice in the matter. Jeff was the one scheduling everything, picking up his pills, keeping records of his vitals to show the doctors, hell, Jeff was the reason he was even taking the pills at all. He hadn't wanted to start the treatments. He thought it would have been better to live out the time he had left and be happy about it than suffer through a few more years, but Jeff had begged him to try and fight it, for his sake, and Adam just couldn't say no.

A few minutes later Jeff came out and sat down on the porch swing at the opposite end from Adam, stretching out across the swing and pulling Adam into his lap.

Adam smiled, resting his head on Jeff's chest. "Do I really have to go?" Adam asked softly.

Jeff sighed. "Yeah baby, unfortunately you do." He stroked Adam's hair as he held the older blonde close.

Adam pouted, crossing his arms stubbornly. "Jay-Jay wouldn't make me." He looked up at Jeff, only pouting more as he did so. "I oughta call Jay and tell him you're being mean to me."

Jeff chuckled softly. Threatening to call Jay was a good sign, it meant Adam was in a good mood. "Jay's just gonna agree with me baby."

"He will not!" replied Adam, pouting more.

Jeff smirked and moved his hands to Adam's ribs and tickled him gently. He smiled widely when the older blonde started to squeal and squirm in his lap.

"Jeffy!" Adam squealed, trying to get away from the tattooed fingers at his sides. Adam squeaked when Jeff finally quit a few minutes later. He was going to miss mornings like this.