summary: it's 7am, the sun is coming up, you've got one shoe on and your best friend is puking on the sidewalk. this must've been what they meant when they said your 20s would be amazing.

notes: this is a random collection of stories based off of tfln, and inspired by mellieforyellie's naruto au with the same premise.

i plan on changing the pairings as the chapters are uploaded, because each chapter features one pairing or another.

explicit chapters will be posted to archiveofourown.

pairings: k/18, g/cc, v/b, tien/yamcha

texting key: bulma

18/lazuli

(520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?

who the fuck actually got arrested by campus security? was that even possible? did they have the power to actuall do this?

apparently so, lazuli learned as one of the cops—who wasn't even a real one, just a student cop—placed handcuffs on her and put her in his little cart with her two brothers. this was embarrassing, far more embarrassing than a lot of the stuff that lazuli had experienced in her life as a result of hanging out with her brother. and that was a really really hard list to top.

"i'm just gonna take you guys to the campus security office and let you guys ride out all the alcohol in your system." he was cool for it, so far, and in her alcohol hazed mind, she was sure that they weren't the first people he had done this for before.

the ride was somewhat quiet as they road to the security office. or in lazuli's mind, it was, while her brother, lapis was going on and on and she was sure that he had said 'fuck the police', at least twice, but he was easy, far easier to drown out than normal when he was slurring and not really making a lot of sense.

and the campus cop, the guy who lazuli was racking her brain to where she had seen him before. she definitely knew him, but she had absolutely no idea as to where or who he was.

"alright, alright, we're here, we're here." the cop, who was actually kind of cute, pulled into his parking spot in front of the building the campus security office was in. it was as soon as he stopped that lapis got the brilliant idea to get up and go.

thankfully, for the cop and for him, he couldn't go very far with just how drunk he was and he ended up face planting about two feet away from the cart.

"ah, well I guess we now know what happens when you eat the worm. you end up trying to become the worm." oh god, that was such a lame joke and lazuli regretted thinking that he was even kind of cute. not with a joke like that.

after getting lapis off of the ground, he did his best to lead the two twins, one fighting the entire way to the campus security office. with the two of them inside, he gestured to the two cots that they had there, for situations like this, and almost immediately, lapis fell face first on to his. still handcuffed.

"…is he okay?" the 'cop' looked concerned about the situation, but lazuli only nodded her head at the comment, before taking a seat on the other cot. lazuli's silence irked him just a bit, but he didn't let it show as he just talked through it.

"anyway, we've got gatorade, water, coffee, and some crackers and bread if you wanna have any of that. help you guys sober up a bit." he offered these all to her as he took a seat at his desk, shrugging off his coat and giving a heavy sigh. lazuli declined all of the offers and rested her head back against the wall, ideally listening to him as he tried to make small talk with her.

"you're lucky that I'm the one who found you guys and not any of the old timers, they tend to be a bit more serious about the entire thing but I mean we've all been there with this situation before." krillin offered more conversation, but what he said made lazuli glance at him.

"you're the guy who did two keg stands in a row at bulma's last party." that was how she recognized him. she had seen him at their mutual friend's house party (bulma threw them all to often), and it had been lazuli's first time actually going and staying.

the realization that she recognized him from that moment in time only made him give an awkward laugh, and he nodded his head. he couldn't actually believe that people remembered that, let alone someone whom he was "arresting" for a drunk and disorderly.

"ah…yeah, not one of my proudest moments." and lazuli could only nod her head in agreement, because she remembered what happened after. he had proudly done two keg stands, held up by his taller (and dumber) friend, he then stood up straight, stumbled over to bulma's pool, and puked right into it. and then went to sleep next to it.

the two sat in silence for a moment, the officer looking for something to say and lazuli trying to sober up without actually taking any of the things that he had offered her. and she needed it, because the alcohol in her system made her think that he was kind of charming and cute, and she really didn't need that in her life.

"oh, my name's krillin by the way." he offered his name to lazuli, having already forgotten that he had told her it once when he "arrested" her and her (now snoring) brother and that his name was on the badge that he wore.

"told me already." she glanced at him before closing her eyes and settling her head back against the wall.

"oh…well, I was hoping you would tell me yours this time around." it was awkward, and that damn charm popped back into her head again, but lazuli ignored it. and as a result ignored his question.

for the most part.

"lazuli." she opened her eyes and finally looked at him. the smile on his face was enough for lazuli to avert her eyes, blushing just a bit as she did. as she regained her cool composure, lazuli turned her attention back to him.

"so…what do you do for fun, officer?" there was a look in her eyes, different from her normal look on her face. instead, it looked like a cat that caught a mouse. as he tried to find the right words lazuli got up off of the couch, knowing now that she definitely wasn't drunk anymore and placed herself on his desk. the look on his face was one that made lazuli want to eat him alive. in more than one way.

when lazuli and lapis finally left the campus security office it was well past noon, they had been kicked out by another officer, one of the old timers that krillin had referred to earlier. and almost, lazuli was almost upset to leave. it had been too fun to mess with the guy, krillin, especially when they had had a bit of a make out session. just a tiny one.

as the twins walked towards their bus stop, lazuli fished her phone out of her back pocket, immediately pulling up facebook and typing in his name on the search bar. as soon as she found him she sent him a friend request.

(1:15pm): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?

(1:45pm): is that why you didn't show up last night?
(1:50pm): and no, not soon enough tbh.