Disclaimer: These are the characters of Ann M. Martin

Reference: Stacey and Sam break up after quite a stormy relationship. It was for the best--- so why can't Stacey just get over it?

The Break-Up/ Chapter 1:

It's only my second day home, and already I feel as though I am trapped like an animal in a cage. I really didn't know what to do anymore.

It had been almost two years since I lived at home with my mother, and I forgot how lonely it could be especially compared with the Thomas/Brewer clan. Which reminded me- for so long I referred to them as my family, and it was an awesome thing. I loved them! They were the epitome of how I would have loved for my family to be- loud and crazy yet loving and completely there for each other. How could I go from such an exciting existence to this dull one which for the longest time I had been so happy to escape?

It had been just me and my mother since my parent's divorce and my father left to go back to New York. I did not like it at first, but I learned to adapt with therapy and love and constant support from both of them and also with the love of my friends.

Then there was also Sam. He was my rock- I believe. He found out about my parents divorce through Kristy and contacted me. He told me that 'whenever' I wanted to talk about anything, he would always be there for me and that he really was. Every single time that I called him, he had made me feel so important. He would ditch his friends if I called him during a basketball game that he was playing or if he was just hanging out with them. He accepted and anticipated my calls every night before we went to sleep, and he would answer each and every one of my emails right away. I came to depend on him to make me happy because he acted as though he would always be my knight in shining armour.

My mother even became concerned because she realized that Sam had an influence on me that nobody else seemed to have, and not even her. It was not about the influence that he had on me. It was about the respect that I had for him. Sure there were other people that I could talk with, but Sam just gave me attention as though I were a Queen- his Queen, and I truly loved it.

By the time that I turned fifteen, he and I started to get even more serious about each other and it was during that year that we upped our friendship from just friends to romantic involvement, after he made the decision to move back home and off of campus just to be a little closer to me.

I was truly hooked and impressed, especially from the beginning. Sam gave me everything, and I do mean everything that I wanted. He even took on a job at the local Crate & Barrel in order to have more money and it was ALL spent on me and especially during holidays when he would take on a second job at Lowe's to make my holiday extra special. It was great and although my father gave me nice things and so did my mother, to see Sam who claimed to love me more than any other person did do that for me- it was all of the love that I ever wanted.

Shortly after we became a couple and even though I only fifteen- I moved in with the Thomas/Brewer clan. It was something that I wanted to do and I told my mother that it would help me to become more independent- when in reality it just made me more dependant and on Sam- and if things did not work out I told her that I would come back home. The deal was really sealed because it was not as though it would be just me and Sam living together- nope. It was his whole huge family and pets included. Therefore I felt guilty about leaving my mother to live her life alone but ultimately I felt as though I had to live life for myself. I left her alone to pursue my relationship with Sam on a more intimate level.

"Hi, hon!" My mom entered the room.

Ugh. It was all that I could do to roll my eyes. She was so happy to have me at home- I could just tell! She came in to kiss me good-morning and good-night. It was then that I realized that she was really traumatized to have me gone- after all, I'm seventeen. I don't need my mother kissing me upon arrivals and departures!

As usual she gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"How'd you sleep?" She asked me.

I did not answer her. I could not. With her doing all of that questioning and concerned stuff, it just made me feel so normal, and normal I was not anymore. My world was falling apart. Couldn't she tell? I just looked up at her waiting for her to leave me alone. I just wanted to cry. I wanted Sam back and my old life from two days ago.

"Well, I know that you're still not feeling well and you don't want to go to school, so I won't make you. But I want you to know that in life you are going to go through these things and you can make a decision to overcome these obstacles, or let them overcome you. As my daughter I won't let you go for the latter. This may sound insensitive- but life goes on! Look at you! You haven't taken a shower and you haven't DONE anything since coming home-"

"Mo-om!" I choked back a sob.

How does she manage to just irate me so easily?

"Stace- I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. If people let it, certain situations can play a part in people losing their minds and I just don't want to see it happen to you,"

I growled and turned away from her.

"Alright, sweetie- I'll give you a break because I know that you are still in the beginning phases of this and it will get better later on,"

I started to kick my legs in the air like a five-year-old spoiled brat. I didn't want to hear about anything getting better. I didn't even want to know that the world was still spinning on its axis. I just wanted Sam back!

"Sweetie, I'm headed to work and I just want you to know that I love you and I'm keeping my phone on all day so that in case you want to speak with me, I'm available. O! And I want to take you out to dinner tonight…………."

I had my fists under the covers so she could not see me balling them. I didn't want to go out to dinner with anybody but Sam!

"So just be ready for six-thirty. I'm coming home but only to pick you up because we have reservations. And if you can, sweetie, could you move your boxes out of the hallway? It's kind of hard to move around with them everywhere,"

I didn't respond.

"Thank-you," She said stiffly and left.

I almost wanted to reach down for my teddy bear that I had at the edge of my canopy bed and throw it at my mother.

It was not that I loved my mother- it was that she was trying to get me to do things and I didn't want to do anything, and I should not have to! I'm grieving here and I just want my real life teddy bear Sam to come back to me.

Hmm- I know that Sam said to give him a break but I was still calling him yesterday. I hope that he did not think that I was a stalker but I started to call him on the hour every hour yesterday. I just wanted to speak with him, but he would constantly turn his cell phone off and probably after he saw my name on the i.d.

I just wanted to speak with him. Why couldn't he just understand that?

After ten o' clock that night when I saw that Sam would not call me back, I started to get upset and turned my cell phone off. I did not want to hear from anybody else as well, and that even included my close friends from the Baby Sitters Club. Especially that Kristy- I would call her to talk about Sam and I guess she got tired of it and told me that if I wanted to talk, we would not discuss Sam. I was furious with her!

I turned my phone on, all of the while with my heart thumping in my chest.

I hope that Sam had called me back and explained about himself not picking up the phone and that he was ready to talk with me. I just wish that he would still call me and talk with me. I was feeling badly and I wanted him to just explain to me how we got to the point that we did, where we were at a close in our relationship.

How come we still couldn't be like best friends or how come he didn't even wa-

I was mad now.

I was scrolling through my caller i.d. and the only missed calls I had were three from Claudia and one from Mary Anne.

Where in the hell was Sam? Why wasn't he paying attention to me anymore? Why didn't he love me anymore?

I would have done anything to get him back and to get past whatever made him think that he had to be done with me. Of course it was a mutual thing, but I only said so because he was saying so and I was in the heat of the moment.

Of course I did not mean it. I loved Sam!

I flopped down onto my pillows and grabbed one up from behind my head.

I covered my ears with it and began to sob over my beloved Sam. When, O WHEN would he stop acting so silly and just come back to me?