Yes I am complete trash, no I am not ashamed. Lets do this thing. (also this is possibly the only disney wedding (in canon or fanon) to not have everything go to complete custard.) (Some adaptions have been made!)
"Knock Knock Knock!" Mal's familiar voice called through the door, "I'm coming in so you'd better be decent."
Not like she hasn't seen me when I wasn't. She entered anyway, swinging the door shut with a flick of her wrist. She wasn't allowed to do curses, so she used her magic for other things, mostly out of spite.
Like 'oh I can't curse you, damn my hand slipped and the door to your bathroom is lockedoops'kinda thing. That was Mal. She would stack the books in the library, regardless of whether or not they needed to be stacked. And she'd do it with magic, her eyes daring someone, anyone, to tell her off for it.
We may have chosen good, but that didn't mean we'd chosen Auradon or rules or not to have fun. Our magic and our powers were still ours, and we fully intended on making use of them.
"Where's your jacket Jay-bell?" She ignored the glare I sent her way as she proceeded to shuffle things in the room around to find the leather suit jacket Evie had made for me. "C'mon don't be a pain in the ass."
I pursed my lips, wondering if that was a pun. I was about to retort when a triumphant shout made me turn. The purple haired sorceress was holding a dark red, almost brown, leather jacket with a smirk across her face. "You're far to smug for your own good." I told her, accepting her help when I accidentally put the jacket on and the lapels were wonky.
"There you go." She beamed at me. Mal doesn't beam, but there she was, her eyes lit up with joy and a smile to tug on even the toughest of heart strings. "I have to go get dressed but Doug and Ben will come pick you up. Remember to just follow them onto the dais and you'll be fine." She patted my shoulder as we stared at our reflections in the mirror. She looked about ready to say something else so I elbowed her ribs.
"Get outta here ya' filthy animal!"
She laughed, shoving me a touch harder than necessary, "I regret showing you that film."
No she doesn't. She loves me.
So I stood, in front of the mirror, lacing my shoes, and wondering how in the world anyone let me wear leather to my wedding.
Evie sat on the dresser top, blocking my view of the mirror. "I love you Evie, I really do, but I'll call someone to remove you."
She shrugged, "I'm holding scissors and have the loudest and highest pitched scream of all of our friends, are you sure you want to do that?" The even look she gave me would have been bone melting and deathly terrifying any other time, but a smile threatened the corners of her mouth and there was a twinkle in her eye half way through her sentence. I turned my head to Audrey, who was helping Jane style her hair. "What d' you girls think?" They turned in unison, something they'd started to do since the engagement.
Their engagement, not mine.
"Very," Audrey thought for a moment. If she hesitated any longer with the sentence I'd be incredibly worried.
Jane cut in with a diplomatic smile, something her mother had taught her, "you. Very you." She stepped forward to fix my bow-tie and a smile broke out onto her face. "I think Evie can let you see."
Audrey nodded, "Lets just say that you won't break the mirror with your face." She said that a lot, and I'd learned that it was one of the ways she'd tell people that they looked good.
The first time Audrey explained it was after she said it to Jane, who'd blushed to her roots and scampered off. Naturally, I'd been confused, so the haughty Audrey turned with a sniff and smiled far too sweetly to say,"It's my way of saying you look almost as good as I do." before she had reluctantly accepted my offer to dance.
Evie jumped off the dresser and inspected her nails. Standing before my reflection I gaped. The only jacket of mine that wasn't embossed or otherwise decorated with the black and white crossed bones of my mother. It was black, with white buttons and lining and a red pocket square. The bowtie was red, and I wore a braided leather bracelet Jay had given me two months ago, it was nice, worn, comfortable. It hadn't been stolen either; Jay liked to buy things for me.
Audrey was speaking to me, her hands gesturing at my hair and Evie was nodding, her lips pursed outward. "What are you doing to my hair?" I demanded, stepping back.
Jane, who was now by the door, hair all done, called out "Called it!" Before leaving a groaning girlfriend who was now rifling through her bag to find something. All was explained when a five dollar note was brandished and Audrey left after demanding Evie talk about it.
"Your hair is fine!" Evie promised me, "I'll be back with flowers, you need to find shoes." She stopped, sighed, and turned. "I'm going to get dressed, don't destroy your clothing." She paused again by the door. "Dude will be waiting to walk with you down the isle, and in the meantime: relax." She was gone, a lingering smell of her perfume and the sticky notes with messages splayed around the room.
Whether that was hers or Audrey's, I didn't quite know, but the girls had left their mark enough on the room.
Dressed and ushering guests to their seats the Grooms maids and Grooms Men finally took their places on the dais, Evie had convinced Dude to not go looking for Carlos long enough for her to fetch the bouquet and the soon-to-be-married man, and Doug and Ben snuck Jay into the throne room so he could be waiting for his fiance. The priest was wrapped in white and gold, his wrinkled face hidden behind a mustache and eyebrows of matching bushy-ness while his dark eyes smiled for the mouth they could barely see. Nothing about this man was small it seemed.
To his right stood Mal, Doug, Audrey and Lonnie while to his left was Evie, Ben, Jane and Chad. The groomsmen were wearing dark coloured suits, whether they were blue, red or black depended on the eyes, the person and the lighting, but they were dark in hue. Each wore a tie of red that looked like a thin bloodstain on white shirts, and the cuts of their jackets differed from man to man. Their shoes were dark and shone in the light while their pocket squares matched the Grooms and their ties. Hair perfectly styled, and the little accessories to show one man from the next.
The girls wore dresses all made by Evie, they were the same in style - floor length with a layer of a symmetrical tulle that fell in loose pleats. The bodices were hand beaded and matched the colour of the skirt. Evie's was a dark blue while Mal's was a light purple, Audrey wore a baby pink that offset Jane's blue of the same depth. Lonnie stood out with her hot pink and turquoise accented dress. Their hair was styled the same, although they each wore accessories to match their tastes and styles, and the length of their dresses allowed them to wear the shoes they wanted to - matching or not.
A subtle nod from Evie, or the wink from Audrey or perhaps even the hint of green swirling around Mal's arm sent the band into a hearty march that cued everyone to stand, even those who couldn't see the doors opening and the slender man with the long haired mutt trotting through. The flowers Evie had pressed into his hands were the brightest thing about him - not counting his hair or his pocket square - and they hung by his side. Carlos refused to hold them above his waist, and so they dangled and Dude would sometimes sniff them, which caused a couple of sneezes, and the pair would continue forward.
Carlos liked Dude walking him down the isle. He liked the familiar smell of the small dog, who was wearing nothing but his collar, and he liked the way no one questioned it. His father couldn't walk him down the isle, and neither he, nor his mother, wanted Cruella to do it.
They made it to the dais, and everyone sat down. Carlos stepped between Evie and Jay, and smiled at his Fiance. The long haired, tanned man, returned the smile with a lopsided, teeth baring one of his own. "I can't believe you wore shorts to your wedding." Evie muttered.
Carlos chuckled slightly, he said he would, and responded by handing her his flowers, which she accepted with such smoothness and grace Carlos almost didn't believe they hadn't practiced that.
"I can't believe I let you." He heard as she stepped back to follow Ben to their seats.
The oddly sentimental vows brought both laughs and tears, and was very reflective of the couple who's hands were clasped the entire ceremony.
"With this ring-" Jay picked up the golden band. He slipped it onto Carlos's finger, remembering the compromise. Jay was second to say the vows, he was first to exchange the ring.
"With this ring-" Carlos followed, when Jay had finished. His fingers shook as he let go of the silver band as it slid around the tanned finger. The Gold to Jay's yellow. The Silver to Carlos's white.
"You may kiss the groom." The priest proclaimed. He may not have even pronounced that Jay and Carlos were now Husband and Husband for all they knew, because Jay's hands supporting Carlos's face and Carlos's hands, where ever he put them, were a block from the world as their mouths found the other's, over and over again. First for the ceremonial tradition and the second because their mouths found each other again and the third time because they both knew the saying 'thirds the charm' or 'three for good luck' and although they didn't really believe that, there was not harm in a third kiss. For them, there may as well not have been whistling and yelling, confetti raining from the sky, thrust from peoples hands. For them, there was only each other.
Until they were stood outside, their hands linked as the guests filtered past, congratulating everyone that was. Mal and Evie stood on either side of the boys, the rest of the bridal party already gone to ensure the reception started without a hitch. The reality of it all melted into the boys, and neither could quite believe it, the journey they'd been on, in relation to life and the wedding.
When the last guest started their walk to the Ballroom in Ben's castle, Mal and Evie linked arms with the new Grooms, and took their time getting to the reception.
Jay even let Carlos swing their hands through the air between them, something he'd usually still pretty quickly, but today their hands swung peacefully for most of the walk to the ballroom. All of the doors and windows that could open were, and there was already music playing in the background as people's dinner was served.
The Rotten Four (there was some debate over whether they could still call themselves that) found their seats and enjoyed the general clatter of dinner until Ben stood up to grandly announce speeches.
And naturally, almost everyone that had anything to do with them, ever, spoke. Mal stood up and took the Microphone from Doug, She stuttered a congratulations before launching into embarrassing but incredibly-funny-for-everyone-else stories of the boys, using all the nicknames she'd ever made for them, and ones she hadn't until that point until Evie hurriedly interrupted, even though she was possibly worse: telling the story of how Jay insisted, insisted, that at least part (the jacket) of his suit was leather, and he wouldn't let it go until she agreed. She told the story of Carlos, and even as a teen he wore shorts ninety nine percent of the time and had proclaimed he would at his wedding. She told the story of how they'd stood, arms crossed, with Carlos bringing that back and Evie giving in and allowing him that much.'It's my wedding!', 'I'm making the outfits!', 'I'll buy the shorts', 'No don't you dare I'm going to make you your shorts if I have to burn all your other ones to do it' She laughed while telling the story, her eyes watering by the end and she managed to exclaim her love for the two, and how she swore she'd marry them both if they didn't marry each other first.
Audrey stood too and it was apparent that she, like all the grooms maids, had changed. Smoothing her peach dress the dark haired girl accepted the microphone. "I'm aware that everyone loves tradition." She started off, "But I'm so glad these two broke it." She beamed, "and because we all love the glasses and silverware, I'm overthrowing the tradition of ringing spoons against glasses to encourage the newlyweds to kiss, and replacing it with... love songs! That's right, you want them to kiss, you or maybe a group, should come and sing a song about love - it doesn't have to be all the song and it doesn't have to be good." She smiled, which seemed almost like a smirk, "I seriously encourage it." She beamed, "I'll start!" And she broke into a sweet rendition of 'To know him is to love him' which caused much laughter.
She released the microphone to Jay, who's fingers were almost itching to grab hold of it. "Thanks for that Aud," He rarely called her that in front of everyone, but he thought he could get away with it tonight, his voice was only partially sarcastic. She laughed and stuck her tongue out at him. "That's hardly mature." He paused and urged Carlos to his side, "I guess we have to thank people now?"
And that was when Carlos took over.
Once all the thank yous were done, and everyone was done awwing after they reluctantly agreed to tell stories about the wedding planning and give hints and clues to moments of their relationship, Jay handed the microphone to Doug, and leaned back yelling, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last time of his life:
"Lets get this party started!"