Trust
==
Nothingness, space with the stars plucked from it, filled with the pervading, insistent hum of a swarm of bees at bay, for now…
It's dark as hell put out, and I can't see at all, in any direction. There's only that annoying electronic hum the streams of light are making, converging above us and flaring out in a deadly crackling dome of magenta energy. All the rest is dark, like everything else's been snuffed out of existence or something. I can't even see the floor, though I can feel it firm beneath my hands and knees.
"Freaky." That single word seems way too loud with all the dead quiet around here, and I have to fight the urge to cringe. I do not cringe. Step back and assess the situation, maybe, but cringe? Absolutely not.
In any case, nothing's moving. At all. They didn't even post a guard, not that they need to. If we tried to get out, we'd be fried before you could say "chicken". Still, it would've been more interesting if they'd posted a guard. Kind of insulting that we're not worth it, apparently. Wish I could make 'em regret it, but even I'm not stupid enough to go within five feet of that force field.
Robots cannot function within that force field… Sinister, triumphant laughter echoing, fading into the nonexistence it serenaded in the first place…
Damn that Gill. Damn that bastard for caging me like this. Again.
"This is dull. We should do something!" He doesn't even move. Just sits there like he just died and got rigor mortis, one knee pulled up and seemingly observing the ground though it's hard to tell under all that hair, cool and collected as you please. Oh, yeah. That's Rei, all right. My "little brother", so to speak, with the sang-froid of the finest Englishman. "Hey, you still alive over there?" Way too much for my eardrums to take, especially in such close quarters. Okay. I'm not saying another word. Rei doesn't react, anyway.
I start pacing. Pacing's become a hobby of mine in the last… what, ten minutes, a half hour? Ironic, ain't it? The good doctor programmed me with the Sunrise Beam but couldn't seem to fit a clock in. Not that I'm complaining, of course. Rei's probably got one built in, but he's practicing his ignoring skills, though for good reason. In silence, we can tell if someone's coming. Or, to go to an extreme, maybe hear what's going on way out there somewhere with our other "brother". Jiro.
The front steps of an old temple, in the shadowy shrouds of blue-black midnight, a pair of startlingly vivid dark eyes, filled with something that shouldn't have been there… A smile full of gentle goodwill, a face entirely too human, somehow…
When I met him, right away I knew there was something different about him. He was a Kikaider, sure, but he wasn't like any mechanical creature I'd ever seen. There was something to him, an aura, perhaps… Robots aren't supposed to have auras. They aren't supposed to radiate a feel, like humans do. And yet that Rieko girl was the same way…
In the golden sunset, an offhand request, tossed over the shoulder…
Rieko. I can't get that name out of my mind, which is strange since I technically don't exactly have one. Unlike what most think, robots do have memories, just like humans do. They just don't have the feelings associated with the memories. I've seen a human remembering laugh, cry, and everything in between, and I found it... weird, to say the least. To me, memories are like one of those history textbooks, events, names and information, but nothing more.
The strange thing about Rieko is… I remember her, see her face, before and after, and I remember the mission I so carelessly entrusted to my brother, so routine and so ritualistic I barely thought of it at the time. Now, though, I think of it all the time.
Apologize for me… Tell her I was wrong to have suspected her…
I remember those words that never reached her ears and will never do so, and I experience something akin to what humans might call… regret? Is that it? I really don't know. All I know is, it was a waste caused by coincidence. What a waste. And I don't like coincidences like that. They're almost too perfect yet they're uncontrolled. Must have been planned somehow, but somehow unplanned. Those things drive me nuts.
A pair of gray eyes, perpetually pulled down at corners, huge in a pale, thin little face always, always so downcast and unhappy. Dull eyes, never brightened, like eternal storm clouds standing silent vigil over the skeletal sky.
And that kid. Akira. He had about as much personality as a robot, which is a funny expression considering how much personality we really do have. I mean, and I'm not about to pretend modesty, just look at me, won'tcha?
Jiro and Rieko were revolving around the little zombie like he was the center of the universe. I just don't understand those two, sometimes. One would've thought Rieko had a conscience circuit herself, the way she was talking.
I want Akira… to have good memories of his own…
With a start, I realize I've stopped pacing about an inch away from the live currents of the force field. And I also realize that I've just spent an unknown amount of time thinking about humans. From the past, no less. Jiro's sentimental shit must be rubbing off on me.
I can realize the beauty of a butterfly… of the sunrise…
I shudder at the very thought.
Jiro's out there somewhere. Fighting, no doubt. And I have no idea what's going on. I hate being left out of the loop, especially when there's action involved. But that's Jiro for you. Always in the thick of things, whether he wants to be or not, I think, sometimes.
Jiro. Kikaider. Funny how two little words can embody so much stuff. An almost-human-but-not-quite robot/android with a conscience circuit, wanting to be human but can't quite make it, always with the fate of at least one human resting on his shoulders. It's ridiculous what that little brother of mine gets himself into, over and over and over again.
That conscience circuit is pretty much the only true difference between us. Sometimes, I think about it, and I wonder… I was the first Kikaider, the eldest brother. The other two came after me. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm also the one who's become obsolete after all this time. Damn Jiro and his conscience circuit. But then, he'll do something so utterly stupid because of the thing, and I'll realize with a laugh that it's definitely not something I want to be a part of. Thanks, but no.
Dancing flames lining the earth, a wall of fire. Flickering golden-vermilion reflections, dancing, dancing against the darkness…
What I told Jiro that night…
I trust you.
Still stands.
Yes, even after Rieko and our capture inside the Armageddon Lord, chasing after Akira and the Hakaider, even after everything idiotic he's done, I still trust my little brother. Trust is something even a robot can give and hold. My little brother's conscience circuit may cloud his judgement at times, he may be too soft for his own good, but… I know, in the end, he'll come through. He's my li'l bro, after all.
He's out there by himself. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders, yet again it seems. I mean, what the heck?! Everything seems to happen to you, Jiro. And what are we, chopped liver?!
Skilled fingers strumming slender strings, stroking them to life as they pulse and thrum to the vibrations of their song, moonbathed notes dripping into the rustling stillness… Dark eyes, shining too brightly with something that should never have been there…
Damn you, Jiro.
I reach back over my shoulder, fingering the familiar cool mold of the shapely metal before slipping it up and over the scarlet fabric easily as the sweep of a bird's wing in flight, I've done it so many times.
Well, so long as you're out there…
The clear voice of the trumpet soars in the emptiness, brighter and sweeter than it has ever been elsewhere. Who would've thought such a depressing place would hold such promise for such a thing as music? I don't even know what I'm playing. Something from my memories, I think, something with too much meaning and feeling entirely too strong behind it to remember properly. All I can recall are silken bright banners and the musky scent of horses, the glitter of silver and gold. Let it be cloudy. I prefer it that way sometimes. Jiro can't hear me, of course, but hey, it's the thought that counts, ain't it?
Give 'em a good whacking for us, bro.
Rei finally turns his head. He always seems to know when something's real important, and always seems to catch it. Amber eyes meet mine squarely, without reserve. Rei isn't reserved at all, just… calm. Pity he doesn't have a harmonica or something, then we'd be a regular duet… A harmonica! Jeez, that's so damn perfect I can't believe I didn't think of it before. The lone voice… I'll have to get Rei a harmonica sometime. It just makes sense.
He smiles slightly, but in this nothingness I can see it so clearly it's not even funny. I seem to develop telescope vision and all the rest when I only need to focus on one person or thing. I don't know if it was a part of my design and I'm not sure if I want to find out.
For a moment it looks as though he's about to say something; I can hear the sputter of air. Then, Rei simply nods and turns away again. That single nod speaks volumes, at least for him. We're the conscience circuit-less robots, so of course we have a better understanding of each other than we have of, well, Jiro, to be sure.
He understands. And that's enough for him, and enough for me.
Back to back, alert to danger, ready for a fight… Together in an unbreakable group.
Wherever you are, Jiro… We know you're the only one who can do this. Dealing with a human and a pseudo-human… We know we're not equipped for that, somehow. You are. So. Just wanted you to know this, bro… We're right behind ya. We got your back, even though we're technically not there. But who cares about technicalities, anyway, at a time like this.
And also…
I trust you, Jiro… to make the right choice in the end. For all of us.
==
A/N: And thus my first little Kikaider fic is unleashed upon the world. Okay, confession time. I did not see the last episode. I can't believe I missed it!! *sob* It ended too abruptly, I thought there was more… Those of you who know how the whole shebang ends can appreciate the irony of this ending to the full (*smirk* Aree, I know exactly how ironic this is. 'S what I was going for. ^-~). Anyway, this was written on complete impulse after reading a summary of that episode (The Fate of Pinnochio! The Fate of Pinnochio! *brandishes green hardcover book*), so a number of things will be inaccurate.
I really would've waited till I could see the ep or at least unearth some more information (good useful info on this show is so elusive!) than a very quick summary, but… my muse was literally gnawing me raw with this, so I was forced to write it, and write it now, especially when my poor Ichiro… *sniff* So sorry for whatever horrible mistakes I made, and the OOCness which is probably running in mucky rivers. *cocks head* If it makes y'all feel better (Jeez, that 1st review was fast, Aria Zephyr), consider it AU, 'kay? ^-^' Or... I dunno. When did Gill install those submission circuits anyway? If he installed 'em in the last ep I'll have the lovely li'l excuse of this being the period of captivity before he put the circuits in. Too perfect. I doubt it. Ahh, well, ya can't have everything in life, now can ya? AU it is... or... *still holding out hope* I can use the less AU excuse of Ichiro and Rei's circuits malfunctioning if he installed them all at the same time, before, and that would mean he had to capture 'em to fix 'em. And the explanations pour on... Bleh. I saw about three eps of the series and found the show too addicting to leave be, and Ichiro too adorable to leave alone.
Sooo… tell me how I did? Please? *puppy-dog eyes*