China grabbed my costume's big furry paw as we began our daily walk through the large Asian country. Yao and 'I' do this often, daily basis as long as he's in a good mood. Which he usually is once he sees 'me' outside with a bamboo stick in 'my' black furred arms. I'm so glad its winter, its so hot in this panda costume. I mean, yeah I do usually wear heavy clothing -scarf and overcoat would be my best example- but this was unbearable. Ahaha, pun. We're walking through an old looking town, people weren't surprised when they saw China holding a larger-then-normal panda's paw. I guess panda's are abundent in this wonderful country.
If only this country was one with Russia. I would protect it's people so well, I would make sure that panda's were seen as frequently as humans if thats what dear Yao wanted. Yao likes it when his people are happy and healthy, I am the same. I would make sure everyone has enough food to last them for the day and the day after. I'd check every being, young and old, and make sure they where in tip-top shape. Ready to go to war at the whistle.
"Mr. Panda," Oh it looks like he wants to talk to 'me'. I wonder what about this time- better listen closley. I hope we are going to talk about when he was young. I always love it when 'we' do talk about sweet things like that. I get the fuzzies in my tummy whenever he calls me Mr. Panda. Its like my own little nickname for me and me only. He doesn't call Hong Kong Mr. Panda. He doesn't call Japan Mr. Panda- only me. Well except for if he's talking to another panda then he might let Mr. Panda slip out. Aha, once he yelled out Mr. Panda and I immediatley turned around. I let out a sad giggle when I found out he was just talking to a 'fellow panda'.
"My dear Mr. Panda," I do wish he would say... my name like that... just once. Not Mr. Panda. My name is Mr. Ivan Barginski. Not Mr. Panda.
"How do you usually face your fears, Mr. Panda?" I think of you of course, China. Imagining you by my side helping me through trying to take care of naughty children- absolutley simplistic. No worries when the one you cherish the most is by your side, am I right?
"What about people, Mr. Panda? There is a man I absolutley fear, aru, and I don't know how to get rid of him." He squeezed 'my' soft hand tighter, I could almost feel his silky soft skin through the thick material. Oh sweet Yao, whoever this is I will rid them from the world. Anyone who scares China isn't even allowed to become Russia. It must be France, God help that man if he even touched this beloved Asian.
"Heh, but you're a panda, aru. You're not afraid of anything!" He smiled up to 'me' like a child to a parent whenever they do something they're proud of. I wish he would do that to me. The real me, the one that whenever he sees he tenses up- not runs over to and takes 'my' puffy hand. Oh well, this is good enough for me. But still, I wonder who's he afraid of. I cock my masked head at him and I guess he understood what I was trying to ask.
"You hungry, my sweet panda, aru?" So he didn't understand, oh well. I nodded making my mask do the same actions. Yao smiled at 'me' with an added 'Alright!' as he lead 'me' into a shop.
It was a dango shop, the sugary sweets surrounded me as we walked through the small store. So small the door barely fit my disguise through. China walked towards a shelf and picked out some chocolate and a miniature box of dango. We went towards the cashier who also smiled at me. I like Yao's smile better though. China grabbed my paw once again as we left the Asian store. We sort of ran towards where-ever Yao was taking me, which I'm fine with. He looks elegant with his hair flowing through the air. Like black waves of silk, or something like that. Nothing can compare to his beauty.
We come to a park, the grass is a beautiful green even though China is General Winter's painful grasp. I shiver at the memory of my cold, cold hometown. I guess Yao noticed my quivering for he intertwined the arms, the ones that at first had only hand holding, together. I felt my face get hot and I knew it wasn't the suit at the moment. I like it when China blushes, he always looks so pretty. The beautiful scarlet mixes wonderfully with his perfectly with his features. Those features most likley carved by the most skilled angels.
'We' sat there watching the bamboo dancing artistically in the wind and the grass growing leisurely. Then he spoke, "Russia." I flinched in my 'fur'. Did he find out my disguise!? Oh man, if he did I have to run. God, his voice: always when he says my name there is fear hidden in it. It can never hide from Sherlock and an idiot can even see it. It always there, painfully teasing me with its presence. I dearly want Yao to say my name with love mixed in it, any amount- as long as it's there.
I turn my head to him, a way to signal him to go on. "He's the one." I mentally let out a sigh of releif. At least he doesn't know what's really under all this faux fur, Russian-made so it feels real-er then the real thing. But what does he mean 'the one.' d-does he mean.... I'm the one he likes?! I could've sworn that China could see the blush on my face. But no, he couldn't. I mean, he doesn't like me. I am merely a threat to his nation. When I am not in this animal costume all I do to him is make him more cowardly. China's not supposed to cower, quiver, or shiver- he's the bravest of all the nations. I think.
"He's the one I'm afraid of." No, no,... nonononono!! He can't mean that, he doesn't mean that! I feel heart-broken, no- shattered. No, its not even there anymore. I had given it to the Asian without him even knowing it, and he lost it. But its pretty logical- How can someone not lose something they can't even see. I'm so glad Yao couldn't see me in such a weak state- that would be reputation-shattering. I've got tears in the brims of my eyes and a large frown spliting my pale face in two. I'm crying inside.
China's blank expression changed to a bit of a surprised and concerned one as he stared out at the forest of bamboo. "Mr. Panda, do you hear that?" I feel my 'ears' perk up, trying to hear any strange noise. "It sounds like someone's... crying, aru." I-I'm not crying! I might have tears in my eye's but I'm not crying. I check to hear any sobs that I could've been making or feel tears making their way down my cheeks. Nope, neither of them.
"Come, Mr. Panda! We must help whoever is crying, aru!" His voice confident as he pulls us off the ground and he runs to his right, the side I was sitting on next to him. We run right for a while, 'me' holding onto his left hand. I still don't hear any crying, I wonder what's with China. He turns left causing me to stumble a bit before we take off again. We're running through a terraced feild, the kind where they grow rice and such. It looks very pretty almost as pretty as sunflowers. I sure love sunflowers. I wonder is Yao likes sunflowers too. With the Asian floating into my mind again I sort of get sad once more. I wish I could look at the rice stalks more but then China takes off to the left once again. This time much faster?
"They're sobbing, aru!" He sort of yells in a panicked voice. Golly, I wish I could hear this crying-now-sobbing person. I want to pity them and mourn with them over what-ever they may be unhappy about. I wish someone would be unhappy with me. Cry for me. Maybe that's why I beat Toris when I'm drunk or angry. Yes, I'll admit it- I do get drunk often, which seriously doesn't help my miniscule case of being bipolar. I can control my emotions very well but not when I'm drunk, then I'm all mixed up. But, Hell, who isn't emotionally unstable when they are under the influence.
I'm panting now. We've run so freaking much and this panda costume is not helping my body temprature at the least. Humble thoughts of China and his fear of me still float around in my head but my mind is elsewhere at the moment. Like sometimes it will drift off from the beautiful mise en scène to things that ocupied this beautiful commonwealth. Like pandas, the fish, and especially Yao. We come to an abrupt stop which made me stumble for, like, the third time that day? He smiled up at me and said, "We can stop now Mr. Panda. You must be tired, aru."
I nodded blissfully. I'm so happy we finaly stopped running, I'm not the kind whose good with their legs. I'm more of an upper body strength kind of guy, you know? We sit down on a cliff that towered over much off this wondefull terrain. I'm sitting on 'my' furred bottom, legs propped up. China soon afterwards sat between my legs and made himself confortable. I blushed furiously, even if I'm not that perv' France- its still a small bit arousing. Like, miniscule sort of small. He leans his raven-black hairred head against 'my' soft white chest and a smile quickly makes its way to his rose petal soft lips. "It's laughing now, aru." I stay quiet as a way to tell him to state who.
"The child is happy, aru. He's laughing."
I desire so badly to know what boy Yao is talking about. If the child makes him this happy then I surely want to find out and steal this youth's tactics. But, unfortunatley, I will not be blessed with such a wish. Yet, I'm perfectly fine with that- at least I get to see China's happy face and not the child.
"Hey I got to tell you a secret, Mr. Panda, aru!" He half whispered joyously to me, anticipation gleaming in his maple brown eyes that you could practically swim in. They where so soft. He got up on his knees and went real close like by 'my' ear. He whispered with childish excitement:
"I'm taken~" I couldn't beleive my heart could break anymore then it was already, then he continued, "By Korea~!"
I stood up forthwith and now it was China's turn to stumble and be surprised. He looked up at 'me' with questioning and stupefied expression that I almost pitied him for having. I was so close to taking of my mask out of anger and saddness but it ended up I did something different. Yao gaped at 'my' furred back as I walked steadily into the forest from which 'I came'. Silently wishing China to have good fortune in his relationship.
From then on, China, my crush, never saw that panda that was I. All the other pandas paid no attention or respects to him or his presence. None of 'my bretheren' ever waited for him to come outside so they could walk through the village happily with no animalistic outrages. All pandas became more vicious and their population died down, I even had some of the critters visit unexpectedly at my house back in Russia. Yao grew sad at the lost of the magestic creatures, seeing him sad and knowing I was the one who caused it made me feel worse then I have been the past few years.
Then on one of my saddest days so far- I heard a child crying. Not just a child, the child.
I found out something that day, too.
The child -I giggle at the irony- ...it was me.