The watery soup slid down Hiroki's throat like a living slime. He held back the urge to gag as he gulped it down. It doesn't matter how long he has been here, the food will never settle right in his stomach.

They said he was getting thin, underweight. He growled at the thought of their faces. Those doctors. Some held seas of pity in their eyes, others maintained stone cold, heartless faces. Neither better than the other. He had never seen any...satisfying expression.

Hiroki stood up slowly, glancing around the cafeteria at his fellow patients. Some carefully counting and moving around their food to fit perfectly around their tray, others staring at nothing, some muttering to themselves. Hiroki sat away from everyone, he didn't like socializing. He quickly strode to the large trash can in the middle of the cafeteria, intending to throw out the mystery soup that was now making his stomach gurgle in discomfort.

Before he could flip the tray over into the trash, a hand snapped out and gripped onto his wrist.

" ," a deep voice called from beside him, he glared. Miyagi. "The nurses were telling me to keep an eye on you. You're not eating enough, why not finish that soup?"

"I don't like it." Hiroki replied simply.

"Well, I don't think you have a choice." Miyagi chuckled.

"Just let me go." He growled.

Miyagi sighed, "Hiroki, stop being like this. Just take your food back to the table. And stop frowning? You'll become a wrinkly skeleton!" He let go of his arm.

Hiroki stood still for a moment, processing his words, before dumping the soup into the can. MIyagi opened his mouth to say something, he slapped it shut and groaned.

Hiroki returned to the sea of patients, dressed in white. Today was a shitty day. His sleeping pills wore off at 5 am, his insomnia caressed him until sunrise. Two hours later, Right before he was on the brink of sleep, a hand slammed on his door, letting him know breakfast was in a few minutes. After breakfast he was forced to take the pills he didn't need, but what's new? Then, they set their 'goals' for the day and reading time, which wasn't too bad. However, His psychiatrist retired yesterday, he didn't like the older man, Dr. William, per say but he was familiar with him. He liked familiar. Dr. William still gave him the pitiful looks but he was used to that, he expected it. That was comforting to him. Being able to predict his every move.

Now he was meeting someone new. Someone who just graduated. Someone not only knew to him but to the whole field of psychology.

"Everyone!" Miyagi's voice retrieved Hiroki from his worries, Hiroki looked up to see Miyagi cupping his hands around his mouth, "Group A breakfast is over! Please throwaway your food, and line up at the door. You will then be split up into three groups! When you're dismissed you will all be either going to your psychiatrists, to your rooms, or to the group meeting room. No lingering, no using the bathroom without supervision, no wandering. Understood?"

The whole cafeteria gave a solemn hum of approval before they got up to throw their food away. Hiroki waited. Once everyone stood, backs hunched, faces droopy, at the door he stood to accompany them. He went to stand at the end of the line, scratching at his wrist nervously. He wasn't ready to meet his new psychiatrist, he just wanted to get back to his room and sleep. At the same time, he feared the dreams...no...nightmares that would claim him in the realm of his own unconsciousness.

Another supervisor stood at the front of the line, her blonde hair tied in a messy bun. Hiroki saw her everyday, she always had a monotone voice and drooping eyes. She looked as if she had stopped caring about herself years ago, though Hiroki had no place to judge if that was the case. She walked down, and section the first group off with a gesture of her arms, "Meeting room." She called as they walked out the door.

Hiroki took a deep shaky breath as she sectioned the next group off. "Your rooms,"

Fuck. Me.

She gestured to Hiroki's group, it seemed as if she was only speaking to him.

"Psychiatrists."

Hiroki was now scratching at his wrists harshly, the pain created a warm satisfaction that coursed through his arm and into his gut. He was sitting in an empty office, the one he always went to, but now...it was different. The pictures of smiling little grandson were gone. The bobble head he had that had always stood confidently at the end of the desk was gone. The many papers and small toys were non existent, the mug overflowing with suckers was gone.

All the desk now bared was a small plate built into the wood.

Dr. Kusama.

Hiroki stared at it, his eyes dipping over every corner and curve of the Kanji. Making every stroke familiar. Imbedding it into his mind.

The door clicked.

"Kamijou-san?" A smooth voice asked from the door.

Hiroki couldn't turn around, he just couldn't. He knew what he'd see if he did, something that wasn't the psychologist. Making the man think he was absolutely crazy beyond help on the first day was not a good plan.

"Yes." His voice came out as a timid whisper and his face lit up with a scarlet flame. He wanted to punch himself for seeming so weak.

There were footsteps from behind him, a body came and sat down in the chair behind the desk, and Hiroki looked up.

His breath caught in his throat.

The man in front of him had a beautifully warm smile that made Hiroki feel welcomed. An expression Hiroki had never seen here in the hospital, he shifted in his chair.

"Hello, Kamijou-san, My name is Nowaki Kusama, I will be your new psychologist from now on." Nowaki's voice flowed from his mouth like a gentle stream. His blue eyes smiled along with his lips, showing just how genuine the man was, Nowaki stuck out his hand, "Can I shake your hand?"

Hiroki blinked away his wonder, "Why not…" He muttered as he took Nowaki's hand, it was cool and large, like a comfortable blanket.

Hiroki sat back in his seat and it was silent for a few seconds, "So...are you going to ask me what medicines I take? Or do you already…" Hiroki muttered.

Nowaki shook his head, "No."

"So they did tell you about me…"

"They didn't." Nowaki said simply and Hiroki looked up at him in confusion, Nowaki decided to elaborate, "Before I ask you that stuff, I want to know more basic things about you. How old you are, what's your favorite color? I want you to know some things about me."

Hiroki huffed, "I feel like I'm introducing myself to the class."

Nowaki laughed, "You'll be thankful," He said and Hiroki tilted his head in confusion, "Anyway, how old were you when you were...sent to this facility?"

Hiroki shrugged, he racked his brain for the age, he's been here for so long it seems this is all there was, "11, I think...maybe 13. God, Maybe even 15." He guessed.

Nowaki smiled, "So a long time then?"

Hiroki chuckled, "You have no clue."

"How old are you Hiroki-san?" Nowaki rested his elbows on the table, his piercing blue eyes studying Hiroki.

"I'm 29." He answered.

"So, around 15 years. You haven't...been outside?" Nowaki asked, his eyebrows knitting together in worry.

Hiroki shrugged, "A little. When we get those days where we can eat outside or walk around the block that's it. Why does all this matter?" He asked, getting uncomfortable.

"It doesn't really. So, you haven't truly been outside in a while. What was your favorite food?"

Hiroki rolled his eyes, "Chocolate Mochi icecream. Why do I have to answer all the questions? They're getting boring and stupid."

Nowaki smiled, "You can ask me some if you want."

Hiroki nodded, surprised at his failed attempt to break the other man's kind exterior. He can't really be this friggin nice, he has to be acting, "How old are you? You seem like a kid."

Nowaki laughed, "I'm 25."

Hirok's eyes widened, "So you are a kid…" Hiroki trailed off, he shrugged, "I don't have anymore questions."

Nowaki just smiled, "It looks like you're tired Hiroki-san."

"I am. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in years. This place doesn't let you." He grumbled as he crossed his arms. Staring out the window that was behind Nowaki's desk. There was no purpose of it being there. The window looked out into the alley way, the only view was the old dirty bricks of the next building over. That's what it was like in all the psychiatrists offices. Useless windows, a lie to make you feel free, in reality it just made one feel trapped, isolated. So broken, they weren't even allowed to look at a blue sky, and Trees that lined long stretches of road.

"Well, I scheduled you here for the whole of groups A's period so you won't have to move around much."

"What?" Hiroki said, his heart beating rapidly in your chest.

"It's okay," Nowaki said, sensing the discomfort coursing through Hiroki's veins. "I can tell new people make you nervous, so I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Like I said, I want to get to know you."

Hiroki stared at Nowaki for a while, his cheeks flushed, "N-New people do not make me nervous. Plus, you psychologists are all the same." He muttered.

"Is that so?" Nowaki laughed, not offended in the least. At least, not showing it. "What are 'us psychologists' like?"

Hiroki's face flushed again, he really wasn't expecting this. He felt his throat tighten, his palms began to sweat. This man definitely wasn't familiar. "Y-You really want me to tell you?"

Nowaki nodded with a warm smile. Hiroki really wanted him to quit smiling and stop being so...unlike all those other psychologists.

"W-well, every psychologist I've ever met is filled with pity. I don't need your pity! And...and...they always have stupid bobble heads on their desks! They're annoying as hell!" Hiroki grumbled.

Nowaki threw back his head and laughed loudly, he shook his head, "Ok, so no pity, no bobble heads." Hiroki nodded.

They spent the whole of group A's activity period talking, not about medicine, or hallucinations, or nightmares, or Hiroki's eating habits. They talked like normal people. It was refreshing to Hiroki, like a fine, quick deep breath of cool air after being trapped under hot covers. Hiroki was allowed to go back to his room once they were finished, Nowaki gave him a warm farewell, and Hiroki grumbled a goodbye. He was escorted back to his room with a small group of others that resided in his hallway.

A small seed of affection buried itself in the dirt and grime of his heart. He crushed.

Crushed it, and hoped she didn't notice…

Hiroki went back to his room, too nervous to go to sleep, he read. Read the books that he has become so familiar with. That of course, was comforting. However, sometimes he found himself yearning for a new story to sink his teeth into but...he was scared of being hurt. Hurt by damn fiction. He really hated himself sometimes.

He was able to skip dinner, convinced the supervisors that he didn't feel well and was coming down with something. He lied in bed, it felt as if Nowaki's eyes were still burning into him. He hated that. Living in this hospital for so long must have made him needy. He took a deep breath. He just knew she would have something to say about this. However, at the time, he was tired, and couldn't care less what she had to say. So he let himself drift to sleep.

It seemed as if he had just closed his eyes when he reopened the to see her sitting across from him in a large red chair. He took a deep shaky breath, not needing to look around at the void he was in. Empty blackness for as long as the eye could see, a single yellowish spotlight glowing on him and her.

"Hiroki," Her voice came out smooth, soft and elegant, "I haven't seen you in a few days." She spoke in English, her accent seemed to be pulled from the heart of London.

Hiroki stayed silent, squirming in his old, hard, wooden chair.

"You like him," she chuckled, her shoulders shook and the dirty blonde curly hair that fell over them was disturbed.

Hiroki swallowed thickly, "Who?" he asked in english, with as much authority as he could muster in front of her.

"Oh, shut up," She hissed in a plastic sweet voice, "You know who, the psychiatrist. The new one, that...hunky typhoon." She threw back her head and let a graceful...ugly laugh escape her painted lips. She stood, her black gown flowing to the slightly darker floor. The dress was strapless, showing her protruding collar bones. This dress, she's been wearing for nearly a decade, a dress and look that was so familiar. Despite all this, it constantly made Hiroki feel on edge.

"I don't."

"You do, you may not realize it yet but, you do. Because, you are needy. Hiroki, my dear friend, I've come to give you a reality check." She lazily made her way to his chair, she began to circle him like a shark. "Firstly, that impression you made was wonderful."

She flung out her hand and an image manifested itself in the blackness. It was him sitting at the desk, Nowaki's desk.

"Kamijou-san?"

"Yes,"

Hiroki watched as the scene replayed itself, he could see himself from the back, his hair messy, skinny and hunched over. Not turning around at the call of his name.

"Ha! You didn't turn around!" She laughed, "You just looked like a freak! Also, that thing you were doing? Being a total asshole? Because you were scared of getting close? Speaking of fear, when you didn't turn to look at him... were you scared...of seeing him?"

There was harsh pant on Hiroki's shoulder and he whipped around. There he was.

The Lurker

It had the body of a man but from the shoulders up, it was a ram, its wide, black eyes held small, beady, white pupils. Its two large horns curled in different directions, and yellow teeth jutted out from its underbite. He sat and stared at Hiroki, on the right side of the chair. Hiroki let out a small peep and quickly turned away from the Lurker. He felt the hot pants on his neck for a few more seconds before they disappeared. Hiroki slowly turned, and as quick as the lurker was there it was gone.

She was striding around his chair again, "Yeah, scared you would scream like the last couple times you...turned around. Scream because he is a reminder that you aren't really crazy, and that nothing can save you from us, from him, from your past...from wonderland." She stopped in front of him, bending slightly at her thin waist, cinched even further by her corset, to look Hiroki in the eye, "You're mine. Maybe we are not lovers, not friends...anymore. Not siblings, or family, but I still own you. I control you. This little...crush that I can smell in your future, will do nothing but damage my plan for you. Well, for me." She giggled.

Hiroki flinched as she quickly stood again, "You know what I'm capable of. Don't spoil my plan, Hiroki. If you do, your future won't be very bright." She backed up to sit in the red chair once more, "Have you ever heard a pig being slaughtered Hiroki?"

The words caused Hiroki to clench his fists, "No," He replied, "H-Haven't been out of this damn place in years."

She smiled, she was silent for a long time, "Well this is what it sounds like,"

Hiroki was filled with confusion, he squinted at her. Suddenly, there were sharp claws digging into his cheeks from behind, pulling him out of his chair. Hiroki let out loud, horrible, shrieks of pain and fear. His chair flipped back and his back hit the ground. The pain didn't leave. He opened his eyes to see the Lurker looming over him, it wore a yellowish smile and let out broken, ape like noises that could barely be labeled as a laugh.

The lurker dug its claws deeper and deeper into Hiroki's face, he felt the blood dripping down his cheeks, stinging as it pooled in his eyes. Just as he felt the flesh on his skin ripped off, he awoke, still furiously thrashing and screaming. He felt a heavy weight on his chest, he was being held down by supervisors and a doctor he didn't know. He couldn't stop his own screaming and thrashing.

Hiroki felt a hand press against his forehead, cool and dry against his sweaty skin. The rumble of voices urging him to calm down, faded into silence. He heard nothing. He looked to the owner of the hand. It was hers. She stood next to him, a smug smile on her face, her eyes blank.

"Just a...once in awhile reality check," She whispered

"From your old friend,"

"Alice."

A/N: Well! Thats a thing that exists now! This was just a really weird idea I had for Alice in wonderland that I had, like a dark, twisted version of it. I also really wanted aa love stroy between psychologist!Nowaki and Patient!Hiroki. I think the romantica and terrorist couples will show up a little bit in this story. Still not sure! However, this is a long story that takes some explaining and revealing and all that good stuff! So of course you will find out Hiroki's ties to wonderland, to Alice, if this is Alice Alice or just some girl named Alice (lol), Hiroki's past in this story, and the reasons for his behavior! I hope you enjoyed this 'pilot chapter' if it receives positivity, I'll be sure to continue it! Thank you for reading and make sure to leave review 3