I have no idea why I started writing this when I'm supposed to be working on my Gravi fic. I'm sorry those who were waiting for chapter 3 of "Overlap"…you are allowed to hit me with whatever you feel is necessary (I've found that baseball bats work quite well).
Any~who… I'm very tired. I wrote all 4,000+ words of this fic in one day and it is very late. This is my second fanfiction ever…I hope you enjoy!
I LOVE reviews!!!
DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way own Loveless or the characters from Loveless. Nor have I ever, or will I ever own anything associated with Loveless.
**
The air outside was freezing. Soubi watched the cloud of vapor that formed with every breath. He was alone, but he wasn't lonely. He was use to the solitary life. He didn't need anyone else, he didn't want anyone else.
The moon was bright overhead and the trees cast long, angular shadows across the well-groomed lawn of the park. Everything was silent. Not even a breeze was blowing. The only movement that could be seen was the twinkling of stars in the night sky. Soubi pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. He flicked the switch and a small, warm flame appeared. Soubi watched as it flickered. It seemed to be alive. Slowly, he raised the lighter to meet the end of the cigarette that he had placed between his lips.
Soubi exhaled. The vapor and smoke mingled together. The blond man closed his eyes and tilted his head back. The night was so peaceful, why couldn't it stay this way forever. If Soubi could remain like this, then he might be able to forget everything. But it was too late; he would never be able to forget.
He had nothing left to live for. His life was meaningless. He had lost it all, everything that was dear to him. It was all gone. In an instant, his world had been torn apart. His only love, his only desire, his only meaning had been obliterated. The walls of reality had come crashing in on him. Soubi had nothing now. He didn't want to continue on with his life, he didn't want to suffer through this torture.
Soubi fought back the sob that threatened to rip from his chest. He wouldn't lose. He wouldn't allow this vindictive world to ruin him. He would honor the last wishes of his love. Soubi wasn't to die, even if the rest of his life was nothing more than a hollow shell.
He stood up and ground the butt of his cigarette into the damp grass with his foot. Soubi took one last breath and began the journey home. As he got closer to the city, the silence began to fade. Soubi could hear the blare of car horns and sirens. The sharp pain in his temple would soon return. He couldn't handle this world. It was too much. How he longed for it to all end.
Soubi climbed the steps to his apartment door and reached into his pocket to retrieve his key. He unlocked the door and entered. It was dark and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. His apartment was incredibly bare. The only piece of furniture was a large couch. The rest of the room was filled with canvas, paint, rags, dishes, mugs, and a bunch of other shit. Soubi sighed and closed the door behind him. He really should clean up the mess, but he had no motivation to do anything these days.
The artist walked over to the ragged couch and threw himself down. His eyes traced the cracks in the ceiling, but he didn't really see anything. The pain in his head was now almost unbearable. He let out a loud grown and turned over on his side. The room was spinning, his head felt like it was about to explode. Somehow, he managed to drag himself off of the sofa and into the bathroom. He opened the medicine drawer and pulled out a bottle. The pills inside were his lifeline. They eased the pain and numbed all of his senses. That was what he liked best. He didn't like to have to think or feel.
Soubi poured several small white pills into his palm and threw them down his throat. It wouldn't be long now until the headache was dulled and he could fall asleep. Sleep was another thing that Soubi enjoyed. You didn't have to do anything when you were asleep. No worries, no stress, no pain, no noise, nothing. Soubi felt the muscles in his shoulders begin to relax. He made his way back to the couch and crawled back on.
He could just imagine what he looked like. He was pitiful. Curled up into a ball and trembling. His apartment was a mess, his life was a mess. He didn't want to continue, but he couldn't give up. He had made a promise. He had sworn his entire being that he would continue to live. He couldn't give up yet.
**
Soubi woke in the morning to sunlight streaming through the tattered blinds on his window. Another day had come. All he had to do was survive the world for a few more hours, then he could go back to sleep. Soubi remembered that he didn't have very many of his pills left. He would have to do without today; he needed them in order to fall asleep. The blond man sat up and looked around the room. The sight was depressing. He couldn't stay here. He needed to get out today.
He stood up and made his way to the bathroom. He turned the handle in the shower and waited for the water to heat up. Soubi removed his dark jeans and undid the buttons of his navy shirt. The strange position that he had slept in the previous night had caused his muscles to knot and tighten. His entire body ached. Soubi shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders and stepped into the shower. The water was, at most, lukewarm. He cursed the shitty water heater in his building. It had never worked properly, and the man was tired of taking freezing showers all of the time.
After a few minutes, he climbed out of the shower and dried himself with a towel. He quickly ran a comb through his long blond hair and went to his small bedroom to find some clothes. He hardly ever slept in here. This area was off limits. It held too many memories. The room was filled with items that Soubi wanted to forget about, but didn't have the courage to throw away.
Most of these things had belonged to the man that he had loved. No, the man that he had worshipped. Soubi doubted that Seimei had ever had any feelings of compassion for him. He had been treated like a dog. He was the servant and Seimei was the master, but Soubi had loved him all the same. He had devoted his entire life, his entire soul, to Seimei's existence. Seimei was his god.
Then one day everything that he knew was pulled out from right under him. Seimei was hurt. Soubi had sat by his bedside for weeks, hoping that he would wake-up soon. Soubi's prayers were finally answered, but the story didn't have a happy ending. Seimei was conscious just long enough to give Soubi one last order: he was not to die. Soubi didn't understand. How could he remain living while he watched his entire existence slip away? Seimei was going to die, they both knew it. Why did Seimei want Soubi to remain living? Soubi had spent hours pondering this idea. The only conclusion that he could come up with was extremely painful. Soubi knew that Seimei had never been overly fond of him, but still. Seimei had most likely wanted Soubi to suffer. The sadist knew that living without his master would rip Soubi apart. Seimei's last wish was for Soubi to suffer in agony, but still, the blond man couldn't do anything but listen to his master's order. Seimei's will was absolute.
Soubi grabbed a pair of jeans and a black tea shirt from the closet and hurried out of the room. He felt like he was about to throw up. He needed to get out and distract himself. He dressed quickly and hurried out of the apartment. It was warmer out today and a slight breeze blew a wisp of his silky hair into his face. Autumn was just around the corner. Soubi watched as red and gold leaves danced across the ground. He took a deep breath and started walking.
He stopped and watched a small bird that was sitting on a branch of a tree. It was jet black with a little white starburst on its chest. Soubi watched as it hoped along the length of the branch, and wondered what it would feel like to have such an easy and free life. The bird looked down at the blond man and cocked its head to the side. Soubi stared at the bird for a few more seconds before it took off and flew away.
The park was bustling with children and mothers. Soubi decided to spend the day people watching. He sat down on a wooden bench and watched as families and friends scurried around, completely unaware of the pain and suffering in the world around them. Soubi wasn't quite sure how long he sat there. The park began to empty and the air was starting to get cold. Soubi was about to get up and leave when he saw something. A boy sat huddled underneath the slide. He was older than the other children that played hear, and Soubi was curious.
The man stood up and started to move closer in the direction of the boy. As he got closer, he noticed that the child was trembling. Was he shivering? Soubi wasn't sure. When he was only about six or seven feet away, he realized that the boy was crying. Quiet sobs escaped from his small frame. A breeze came up, causing both Soubi and the boy to shudder. It was starting to get very cold out.
Soubi wasn't sure what to do. Should he call someone? He couldn't just leave the boy. Soubi took a few more steps forward and asked, "Excuse me, are you ok?"
The boy turned around, startled. Soubi could see the trails on his face that had been made by his tears. He wiped his face on the back of his sleeve and said, "Uh, yah. I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I could call someone if you like."
The boy shook his head and stood up. Soubi's stomach lurched. The side of the boys head was a covered in cuts and bruises. How could someone do something so terrible to a child? The boy turned around and started to walk away.
"Hey! You need to go to a hospital. That looks bad."
"I'm fine. Please don't worry, I have to go."
Soubi couldn't just let the boy go. Who knew how he had gotten that injury. He needed to be treated right away.
"Please. Come hear. I can't just let you leave like that. That could be very serious," Soubi walked forward and wrapped his hand around the boy's small wrist. The boys face looked surprised, but he didn't put up a fight. Soubi looked into the deep violet eyes of the boy and was hit with a wave of nostalgia. This boy looked like Seimei. Soubi couldn't believe it. The breeze ruffled his raven hair, and his small lips parted to protest, but Soubi quickly scooped the boy into his arms and started off in the direction of the hospital.
Soubi was relieved when they were finally within sight of the hospital. The boy was starting to shiver from the cold and he looked like he was about half asleep. His head looked as if it had been hit repeatedly and there had obviously been quite a bit of force behind the beating. Who could have done this? Soubi couldn't imagine how someone could hit such a beautiful child. Everything about him was perfect.
Soubi carried the boy through the front doors and was immediately met by a small nurse with a very worried expression on her face. "Bring him right this way. We'll get him taken care of right away."
Soubi followed the nurse into a small room and set the boy on the bed. The raven haired boy opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but the nurse made him lay back down. He looked very confused and a little bit frightened. His violet eyes scanned the room and a he seemed to calm down a little bit when he saw Soubi.
"Where am I!?! I don't remember how I got here. Why are you still with me?"
"You were hurt. I brought you to the hospital, and you fell asleep on the way. It'll all be ok now, these people will help you. Do you want me to call your parents for you? They're probably worried."
"No… Its fine, she won't be worried. She probably doesn't even know that I'm gone."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! I said I'm fine. Why are you here anyway? I don't even know you."
"I was worried. The doctor asked me to stay so I could answer some questions, then I'll leave if you like."
"Fine, I don't care. Stay or go…It doesn't matter to me."
Soubi knew that he couldn't leave the boy. This child was suffering and Soubi could see it. He may say that he didn't care, but Soubi knew that he wanted him to stay. He was lonely. He had said himself that his own mother didn't even care that he was out this late at night. Soubi was also fairly sure that the boy's injury had been his mother's doing.
The blond man watched as the boy closed his eyes and turned over. It wasn't long before his breathing became slow and even. Soubi lowered himself into one of the uncomfortable chairs in the hospital room and watched as the boy slept. After a few moments a young doctor walked into the room. "Hello, how are you doing this evening?"
Soubi stood up, "I'm fine."
"Good to hear. Now, would you mind me asking how exactly you know this boy?"
"Actually, I don't. I found him at the park and I was worried about his injury."
"I see. And was he alone at the park."
Soubi placed one of his hands behind his head and ran his fingers through his hair, "Yes. I didn't see anyone else. I asked if he wanted me to call someone for him, but he refused. It was cold outside, and I didn't want to just leave him."
"Thank you very much. His injuries aren't severe, but he seems to have a small concussion and several minor cuts. We'll have him stay the night and then he can go home tomorrow. Do you have any idea how we could contact his parents?"
"No, he wouldn't tell me. You'll probably have to ask him for his phone number once he wakes up."
"Okay, thank you for your help," The doctor turned to walk out of the room.
"Excuse me."
"Yes?"
"I was wondering if it would be alright if a stayed here tonight. He doesn't seem to have anybody that he can talk to, and I would like to make sure that he's alright."
"Well, I assure you that he will be fine, and we don't usually let anyone who isn't family stay in the room, but seeing as you brought him in and he doesn't seem to have a guardian at the moment, I'll allow it."
"Thank you very much. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. If you need anything I have the night duty tonight so you can find me in my office."
"Ok, thank you again."
Soubi sat back down in his chair and looked at the boy. His hair was as black as midnight and his skin was a beautiful ivory. The boy had a small touch of pink on each of his cheeks and his soft lips were slightly parted. Soubi smiled.
He's so pretty. Almost like a girl.
Now that Soubi could study the boy more closely, he noticed that the boy appeared to be a bit older that he had originally thought. He was small, but he looked to be in his early or mid teens. Maybe fourteen or fifteen. About the age that Seimei had been when Soubi had met him. This boy looked too much like Seimei. Soubi was amazed by the similarities. The hair, the lips, the nose. Everything was the same, except for the eyes. This boy had amazing eyes.
It wasn't long before Soubi himself began to grow tired. The only noises that could be heard were the soft breathing of the raven haired boy and a beeping coming from one of the many machines in the room. Soubi closed his eyes and realized, for the first time in several years, he wasn't in pain. He usually needed the help of strong medication if he wanted to fall asleep at night. Soubi gave the boy one last look and smiled. He really was adorable.
**
When Soubi woke the next morning the boy was still sleeping. Soubi felt better than he had in years. The room was quiet. Soubi closed his eyes and listened to the boy breathe. His attention was caught when the boy shifted in his bed. The blond man opened his eyes and watched the boy sit up. He looked drowsy and confused.
"Good morning."
The raven haired boy turned gave a small smile when he saw Soubi. Soubi could tell that he was relieved.
"Good morning," the boy replied.
"How are you? Do you want me to get you anything?"
"No, thank you. I'm fine, but why are you hea--"
The boy was interrupted when the doctor entered the room.
"Good morning, I see you're both awake. How are you doing, um, could I ask for your name?"
"Uh…Ri-Ritsuka."
"Ok, how are you feeling Ritsuka?"
"Fine, but I'm just a little bit confused."
"Yes, well this man was kind enough to bring you in yesterday. You seem to have sustained a few injuries. You have a few cuts and bruises and it looks like you have a small concussion but you should be just fine in a few days."
"Ok, thank you."
"Now Ritsuka. I can't release you without your parents' consent so would you mind giving me their phone number so I can call them."
"Uh, s-sure."
"Thank you."
The doctor handed Ritsuka a small pad of paper and a pencil. Soubi watched as he wrote out several digits and handed the paper back to the doctor.
"Thank you Ritsuka, I'll be back in a moment."
Once the doctor was gone Soubi directed his attention back at the boy. Ritsuka. Soubi thought the name fit him perfectly. Ritsuka sat with his face buried in his hands. Soubi wanted nothing more than to hold the boy, but all he could do was watch as Ritsuka cried. Slowly, Soubi approached the trembling figure and placed his hand on top of the boy's head. Ritsuka looked up, his violet eyes filled with tears.
"What's wrong Ritsuka?"
"Nothing… It doesn't matter."
Soubi sighed and sat down in the edge of the bed, "Please tell me. I don't like to see you cry."
Ritsuka looked surprised and troubled, "Why should you care? You don't even know me."
"But I do care Ritsuka. Please, I want to help you. I need to help you."
"But you don't even kno-"
"That doesn't matter. I can't stand to see you in pain. Just tell me what's troubling you and I'll do whatever I can to make it better."
Ritsuka looked puzzled, but after a few seconds he lowered his eyes and began to speak, "I uh… I just, I don't want to go back home. The doctor will call my mom and she'll realize that I wasn't at home last night."
"Ritsuka… Did your mother do that to you? Did she hurt you?"
"No! This is why I didn't want to tell you. You don't even know me and you think you know what's best for me. Just leave me alone!"
"Ritsuka listen. If you tell me the truth I can help you. You don't need to worry. If you don't want to go back home I can make it so you don't have to. But you have to tell me the truth; you have to tell me everything."
"No. I can't. Mom needs me. I have to go home. She won't be able to survive on her own."
"You don't need to worry about that Ritsuka. She's the parent, not you. You don't have to take on those responsibilities yourself. Just tell me what happened."
"But…are you sure that, sh-she'll be alright?"
"Yes. There are people that can take good care of her. She'll be just fine," Soubi watched as tears began to fall from the beautiful violet eyes. It hurt to watch. But Soubi needed to help; he couldn't let this boy suffer any longer.
Ritsuka bunched the blanket in his fist and began to speak, "Mother doesn't love me anymore. She doesn't know who I am. There's something wrong with me… I'm just a burden. She shouldn't have to deal with me. She went through enough pain when brother died, I don't deserve her love."
"What do you mean? Ritsuka, you are worth it. You deserve more than just her love. You are her child. She should be watching over you, not harming you."
"But I'm not Ritsuka! I'm an imposter. Mother said that Ritsuka left her, and now she's lost both of her sons. Why did this happen? Why can't I just be her Ritsuka?"
"Soubi sat down on the bed and pulled Ritsuka into an embrace. He was surprised when the boy didn't try to resist, "It's ok Ritsuka. You don't have to worry. I won't let anything happen to you."
After Ritsuka had calmed down, Soubi explained that Ritsuka would have to talk to a lawyer, but if he told them everything that had happened, he wouldn't have to go back home. He would be safe.
Ritsuka seemed unsure, but had agreed. Soubi was amazed by the boy's bravery. He asked the boy if he had any close relatives that he could live with, but Ritsuka said that he didn't have any other family. Soubi knew that this was what he had been waiting for.
"Ritsuka, if you would like, you could live with me."
"I could…what? I don't know you. How could I live with you?"
"You don't know me now, but that doesn't mean we can't get to know each other better. I have a spare bedroom that you could have and you wouldn't have to move away from your friends or stay with a family that you don't know."
"Are you aware that you haven't even told me your name and you're trying to convince me to live with you?"
Soubi's face turned a light shade of pink as he realized this mistake, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. My name is Soubi Agatsuma."
"ok… Soubi."
"Yes?"
"You're not a pervert are you?"
"…Wh-what!?!...No, I'm not a pervert. Why would you say something like that?"
"I was just wondering. Seeing as you are so keen on living with a 15 year old boy."
"Hmmm… You don't really look 15."
"That's even worse! You pedophile! You wanted to live with me because you thought that I was a little kid!"
"Ri-Risuka… No…that's not…"
Suddenly Ritsuka burst into laughter, "Soubi, it's ok. I was just kidding. But will you really let me live with you, I mean, do you mind."
Soubi sighed and gave a small smile, "Of course not. I'm the one who suggested it. It would be no trouble at all."
"Well, thank you. You're really nice Soubi."
"I'll do anything for you Ritsuka, just ask."
**
Thank you for reading!!!
Finals are coming up soon in school so my updates may be a little bit slower, but I will try to update both of my stories as much as possible.
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