So, I've been working on this for a while, and just now finished it after listening to Halo a gazillion times. And then crying while I watched What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts. Such a sap. Anywho.
If they seem OOC or just plain weird, sue me. I am broke. Haha.
Disclaimer: For the same of me, I think I need to stop staying up so late, watching youtube and thinking, because this is the love child of me and candy and insomnia.
I declare thee, Steps.
In life, you took steps.
Steps to take you to where you were, or who you are today. There were big steps, the ones that you decided the outcome for. To get married, buy a car, house, or have a kid. Although, the last one could have been accidental. Most of the bigger steps you choose the outcome with a simple signature, an 'I do', or a nod to keep going. You had control over what the outcome was, and it was all conscious thinking. People think big steps were hard, but in reality, the small steps that are the hardest. Small steps were harder because you didn't know you were taking them. You didn't realize that you were on the path until you were at the cliff, and you had to jump or fall. You fell; you were in a canyon of pain. But if you jumped, you thought to yourself, this is going to be bad. But you always made it, and then you felt amazing.
The smaller steps were more subtle too. Like making a routine into how you got up every morning. You didn't realize you had a routine until someone pointed it out. Small steps affected your life the most, and the biggest small step you could take was to fall in love. It was slow, and it took time. But when you realized it, you were already on the edge of the cliff, deciding to either take a step and deny it, or jump across to the other side. It looked like a long jump, one you wouldn't make. But when you let free and jumped, somehow you made it across.
There were many ways to fall in love. But, you always fell for a different person. Some people fell for the wrong one, the one that was already married or in a relationship.
Others found themselves in an awful relationship, stuck between a rock and a hard place. They had no way out, and they fell down into the pit of pain, so to speak.
There were the girls who found their prince charming, and made the jump on their horse. It was the easiest thing to do.
Then, some found themselves in a rather tough situation. A situation where, not only were they in love, but they were in love with their best friend. Falling in love with your best friend was easy, but hardest to admit to yourself. You were in love with the person you trusted the most, and they probably trusted you the most. A best friend was someone you trusted with your life, and your heart. It was a tough situation to be in, falling for the person who you trusted the most. Most people found it easy to just cross the line and be with their best friend romantically.
Sometimes it would end tragically, hearts broken and best friends lost. You took the leap, but as you were jumping you stopped, and suddenly you fell, deep down into the pits of pain. It hurt, and took a while to get over. Every time you see them, your hearts skip a beat and you hope they acknowledge you. But they don't, and you fall deeper into the cliff. The only way to get out was to climb up the sides, leaning on new, other friends along the way.
But, there were other times when you jumped and you made it; realizing that the forbidden fruit really did taste the sweetest. It all worked out, no falling into the depths of despair.
However, all good things came with a price. For some, they wanted to jump. They wanted to realize it, and tell themselves that they loved their best friend. They wanted to, but they were too scared. Either they didn't want to love, or they were afraid of it. The pain in their past blocking them from having pleasure in the present. Or they couldn't; rules, fighting, miles, and people got in their way.
It wasn't hard to push your way though those people, but some didn't want to try. They were scared.
Ziva David was trying to convince herself she wasn't scared, and gave 'rules' as her excuse. She was sitting at her desk in the bullpen, her head in her hands. She had paperwork to finish, but her brain wasn't on that. Her brain was on the man sitting across the way from her, finishing his paperwork. Ziva looked up, staring at her computer. She was tired, she was stressed.
"Zee-vah, what are you doing?" Her partner, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, asked her. She looked up, finding his eyes on her.
"I'm thinking, Tony." She said, getting up. She had to go somewhere, somewhere she could think, or just sit. Getting in the elevator, she rested against the cool metal. Her mind was reeling, and she thought she was losing it. The elevator doors opened, and she walked into the Lab, finding Abby at her computer chair.
"Ziva, Ziva, what's wrong?" Abby reacted to her friends face, pulling her over to sit her on the chair. Ziva shrugged.
"Abby, what are we supposed to do?" Ziva asked, confusing the little Goth. Ziva was not one to ask for advice, and her doing so confused Abby.
"What do you mean?" Abby asked, tilting her head. Her pigtails fell across her face.
"What are you supposed to do when you are in this situation?" Abby was confused again, putting her hands on her hips.
"I'll need specifics!" Abby said, and Ziva sighed.
"What are you supposed to do when you realize…. when you realize that you're in love?" Ziva shocked the Goth, and Abby stopped her impatient tapping. She looked at the Israeli, smiling.
"Ziva, who is the lucky guy?" Abby pressed, looking softly at her friend.
"It would ruin everything." Ziva whispered. Abby sighed, making Ziva look at her.
"Love is an amazing thing Ziva. It is truly amazing and spectacular. And if you have fallen for someone, I think you should go for them." Abby said, and Ziva shook her head again.
"But, what if they don't love you back?" Suddenly, Abby knew whom she was talking about. She knew the assassins problems. Abby hugged Ziva, looking her in the eye.
"Listen to your heart, and take the leap. Because, you never know what's on the other side unless you take the time to look." Abby said before walking away. Ziva sat there for a second, breathing. She smiled, knowing that the little Goth knew.
--
Tony watched as his partner walked back into the bullpen, her head still down. Tony got up, meeting her halfway across the bullpen. She looked up, smiling.
"What Tony?" She asked. Tony shrugged.
"You alright?" He asked, and Ziva was caught off guard at his caring tone. She nodded.
"Yes, I'm fine." She responded robotically, hoping he would get off the subject. He moved out of her way, walking back to his desk. Ziva sat back down, her mind reeling. Tony noticed, and moved to stand in front of his desk.
"Ziva?" He asked, and she looked up. He was watching her, and she smiled.
"What?" She asked, sounding a little annoyed. Tony didn't say anything, just smirked, and looked back down at his paperwork. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and just sat there. Ziva rolled her eyes before turning back to her computer. She found herself feeling self-coconscious, knowing he was watching her. However, when she looked back up, he was gone. She sighed, getting back to her paperwork.
--
Tony slapped his hands against the wall as he walked into Abby's lab; tapping to the beat of a song she had playing. Abby turned around when she heard him, smiling.
"Hey Tony. How's the paperwork coming?" She asked, typing at her computer. Tony shrugged.
"It's paperwork. Not fun, boring, lame. But you gotta do it." He said, walking around as he played an air guitar to the song that was playing. Abby chuckled, watching him dance around her lab. She smiled to herself, thinking about Ziva. If she saw Tony right now, she would find it funny and probably tease him. But Abby knew it turn to flirting fast.
Abby looked up to see Tony looking at a couple pictures she had, placed around the room. He laughed at one of McGee, and then he saw one of Ziva. His eyes got soft, and he reached up to pull it down. Abby smirked as she saw him run his finger around the edges.
"When did you take this?" He asked, showing her it. Abby smiled, taking it from him. He walked over closer to her, his eyes never leaving the picture.
"You took it, I think." Abby said, and Tony looked at her.
"What?" He asked. Abby nodded.
"It was taken at a crime scene. I was going through the photos and found it. That means you must have taken it." Abby explained. Tony tilted his head, looking at it. He didn't recognize it, but if it was from a crime scene, he had taken it. He smiled again as he looked at her face, completely engrossed in whatever she was doing. Her features were soft, but intense. Tony took the picture back, holding it in his left hand.
"Keeping it Tony?" Abby teased, and Tony jumped. He wasn't expecting that question.
"Maybe." Tony said, and Abby smiled. She looked back at her computer, not saying anything. Tony left, and Abby squealed. She jumped up, doing a little happy dance.
--
Ziva was sitting on her couch, a pillow across her lap and a water bottle in her hand. She was thinking, more than usual, about love. She knew that sometime in their almost 5 years as partners she had fallen, but she didn't know when. She thought about their undercover operation, and their time away from each other after Jenny's death. She thought about Jeanne, the problems surrounding that. Ziva took another sip of her water, thinking. She knew what she had to do.
She did not care about the consequences, or the risk she was taking with her heart if she was rejected. She found herself out front of Tony's apartment, her hand poised to knock. She reached up and knocked once, about to turn away when the door opened. Tony stared at his partner, confused.
"Ziva?" He questioned, concerned. She had been acting weird lately, dethatched and quiet. She looked up at him. He saw that she was nervous.
"I…I need to tell you something." Ziva said. Tony nodded, looking down at her. She took in a deep breath, calming herself. She wasn't sure how to say it, and if she even could. So, the straight shooter in her took over. She just said it.
"I love you Tony." She said, closing her eyes and turning her head away. Tony stood there, shocked. It took him a minute to realize what she had said. When he finally computed what she said, he looked up to see her turning to walk away. He took one small step, and grabbed her arm. She turned to look at him. Tony saw the pain in her eyes. He winced at it. Pulling her towards him, she took two small steps. When she was right in front of him, he looked down at her. Her head was down, as if defeated. He pulled her chin up, looking into her eyes.
"Why are you leaving?" He whispered.
"Because you don't-"He cut her off.
"Because you think I don't love you?" He said, and she felt her heart flip. Ziva nodded. Tony laughed quietly, not believing.
"Ziva, why would you think that?" Ziva shrugged, her eyes threatening to spill.
"Because you just don't?" She said. Tony shook his head.
"Ziva, how could I not love you?" Tony asked. Ziva felt her heart flip. Tony smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Ziva shut her eyes, leaning into the kiss. Tony smiled.
"I love you too Ziva." He whispered.
--
In life, you took steps. Big or small, everyone took them. Small steps were most defiantly the most amazing, the most heartwarming. However, Tony found himself loving the big steps at the moment as he looked down at the woman he loved. She was asleep, tired both physically and mentally. He could hear the beeping of her heart up on the monitor, a steady pace. He touched her forehead, pushing her hair back. She opened her eyes, looking up at him.
"Hey sweetchecks." He whispered. She smiled up at him, shutting her eyes again. He got up, walking over to the crib near her bed. He picked up his daughter, holding her tight in his arms. She looked up at him, her dark brown eyes searching his green. He smiled, a small tear coming to his eye. She was so beautiful, just like her mother, and Tony felt his breath hitch.
"Good Morning Achava Isabella." He whispered. The little girl stared up at her father, searching his face. He walked over to his wife's bed, sitting down. Ziva sat up, watching him interact with Achava. Her heart warmed at his face, softness and caring etched all over it.
In three years they had taken many steps, some small and some big. Nevertheless, they had taken them together, helping each other out. From their candid confessions on Tony's doorstep, their first time, getting married, buying a house, and now having their first child; the steps they took getting bigger as they went. And now, as Ziva watched her husband and child with tears in her eyes, she was glad she had jumped.
Because it was true; You never knew what was on the other side until you looked.
And Ziva loved what she saw.
The ending is so cheezy, I can't even believe I wrote that. Anywho, I am working on Girl Next Door, but because I had this idea, it was I either write it or not and GND doesn't get updated for like a week while I work on this. I don't think you would all like that.
Oh, and Avacha Isabella means : Frienship and Beautiful. It's Hebrew and Italian. I spent a good deal of time looking up Hebrew names lol.
Reviews, tell me what you think. Favorite line, maybe? I love reading your guys's favorite line.
Thanks, Izzy:)