The Long Way Home
Chapter 1/2
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons, living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: This takes place after the episode 'Mixed Messages' and will refer to specific events in the episode, 'Measure of Men.' The Season 5 episode 'Rogue' will also be referred to.
A/N: This story takes place in season 7, on September 11th 2001. The series never dealt with the day itself and I've wanted write about it for a long time. Jaggiegold's post last spring inspired me and here is my take on what could have happened that day.
A/N: Many thanks to Jaggiegold for her permission to base my story 'loosely' on her experience that day and to janlaw, for sharing her knowledge of the JAG corps. Last but not least, thanks to TxJAGb for his assistance and encouraging words.
If material on the subject of 9/11 makes you uncomfortable, you should stop reading now.
0855
Tuesday September 11th
JAG Headquarters
Fall Church, Virginia
Harm had just driven back from the Pentagon, after attending a DOD breakfast meeting, which began bright and early at 0600. The Admiral and the SecNav were to attend closed door meetings beginning at 0900. He returned to JAG, with orders to cover JAG Ops until the Admiral returned, since he was expected to be in meetings all morning.
It had been a nice drive over; he'd driven his Corvette today, with the top down and his newly installed CD player blasting. The traffic wasn't bad, and the weather was great, in fact, it was a perfect day. Even the humidity was low, which was unusual for the DC area at this time of year. He looked up into the clear sky as he entered the building, wishing it was Saturday instead of Tuesday, so that he could get out to Blacksburg and take 'Sarah' up for awhile. Maybe he'd ask Mac this weekend and he'd finally get a chance to talk to her without interruption. There were so many things he needed to tell her, he just didn't know where to begin, not the least of which was the status of his relationship with Renee.
There had been times when he wondered if it would make a difference when he told her about Renee. He had to admit he was surprised when Renee told him she was engaged to Cyrus, but he was relieved as well. It had been over between him and Renee since long before his little swim in the Atlantic, but every time he thought to tell Mac about it, he couldn't get the words clear in his own mind. He didn't want Mac to think he wanted to be with her because Renee was no longer in his life. 'That would go over great,' he thought, he'd not only be doing his part of 'the dance' poorly, he'd be stepping all over Mac's feet.
He was happy that at least they still had their friendship, she'd promised he'd never lose her, Harm never realized how much that statement would mean to him until he was on his way back from the Guadalcanal. He'd been unable to find her before he left the ship, and he was sure he knew why. He'd blown it, he hesitated when she asked if he'd give up his girlfriend for her and he knew she'd seen it as rejection. He'd tried to talk to her, but she'd already retreated back into herself, and given what she'd just been through with Mic, he couldn't really blame her. He shook his head, wondering if they'd ever get it right.
He was just ready to get back to normal in their relationship, he would settle for that now. No Mic, and no Renee, just working together at JAG and seeing each other everyday, the way it was supposed to be. Harm figured the important things would come later, if they were meant to be together, it would work out….wouldn't it?
Harm looked at his watch, as he stepped into the elevators, thinking that Mac should be back in DC in about three hours. It had been weeks since she took leave. She'd traveled to Aceh to try and find the little girl about whom she had been so worried, upon her return to JAG. He had barely had time to talk to her when she'd come back. It seemed that every time they were about to talk about something more personal than the details of their day, they'd been interrupted.
He had been deeply involved in investigating the murder of 2 top cryptologists and the attempted murder of another. If that hadn't been complicated enough, he learned that one of the cryptanalysts killed, Commander Rick Steckler, was a friend and former shipmate. He had known his friend too well and the loss his family felt upon his death, hit too close to home. Harm felt compelled to defend him, asking the Admiral for permission to conduct an article 32 investigation and hearing. Though he'd had to wade through a lot of Company muck and mire, he succeeded in clearing his friend but had missed the fact that Mac had taken leave and returned to Indonesia to find the little girl she called Lylyanna.
He had just opened his office when he heard a collective gasp from inside the bullpen and walked out to see both the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center on fire. Everyone present in the bullpen stood looking at the monitors in stunned silence. This was no accident, of that he was certain. He read the new alert at the bottom of the screen, it read; two passenger planes had been flown into the buildings.
As Harm stood looking at the monitors in disbelief, the thought occurred to him, and it hit him like a hammer.
Mac was in the air…she was on her way home.
0920
Tuesday
September 11th
United Flight 1073
Somewhere over the Midwest.
Mac settled back into her seat, it wouldn't be long now, and she'd be back to JAG. She had been able to find Lylyanna. Captain Jurot, of the local police garrison in Aceh had assisted her. When she thanked him, he had admitted it had been as much out of curiosity as generosity. He kept asking her pointed questions about the engagement ring she'd given up, without hesitation, to bail a fellow Marine out of jail. He kept quizzing her about the man that she'd broken the engagement for. He was puzzled about why she'd come so far for someone who was nothing to her. She didn't answer every question but tried to explain to him that Lylyanna depended on her and she didn't want to fail her.
The Captain had scoffed, but Mac had remained determined. Cynical attitude aside, he had assisted Mac in helping Lylyanna and her mother find a place to live. It had taken a lot of time, but it had been worth it because, though she had been physically battered and bruised, Lylyanna's bright spirit hadn't been crushed, Mac had not abandoned her. It was worth every mile Mac had to travel to make it right for her.
Mac looked out of the window; her seat gave her great view of everything. It was a beautiful morning; in what she was sure would be a beautiful day. The sky seemed so blue and sun so bright, the patchwork landscape was showing green and gold below her. Mac felt focused this morning, focused on getting back to her life, back to what she knew was her own, her job, her apartment, even her little red Corvette had been paid off for a year. Maybe she'd take a drive this evening, if the weather were as nice in Washington as it was in the Midwest. She hated to admit it, but she had missed Harm too, and the routine of her life with him, such as it was. The little things like coffee in the break room, the scent of his aftershave when he passed her in the hallway. If truth were told, she was missing the very sight of him across the conference table.
Mac knew he hadn't understood what was going on with her, she wasn't sure she could explain it herself. That kiss on the Admirals porch still haunted her dreams and it had changed everything between them. She knew there was an 'us' when it came to her and Harm, there had been an 'us' for years, she just couldn't allow herself to admit it. The evidence of how she felt about him had been in front of her all the time, and as much as it hurt to hear, Mic had been right about Harm. He was more important to her than a friend should be; he was the first one she'd go to in a crisis and the one she wanted with her during all the changes in her life…even her marriage to Mic. That was a moot point now; there was no Mic and no marriage.
When she'd asked Harm if he would give up his girlfriend for her, she wondered what she would have said if he'd said yes. As special as she knew Harm was to her, she knew she wouldn't have been able to begin anything with him at that point. Sick of the dance or not, it seemed they both knew their part and seemed unable to step out of it. Mac looked down, studying her left hand, running her fingers the one on which she'd worn her engagement ring. She shook her head, still deep in thought 'one step forward, two steps back'.
She had called JAG at a layover in Dallas-Fort Worth, and had given Tiner her flight information. She told him she expected to be back at Headquarters by noon. Tiner told her that the Admiral and Commander Rabb were at a meeting at the Pentagon but that he would pass on the information when they returned.
0945
Tuesday
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm stood transfixed beside the Admiral's desk, his arms folded in front of his chest. He listened as the news anchor described the events of the day, so far. It was clear, to everyone now that the United States was under attack.
His mind turned to a conversation he'd had less than two years before, with the former SEAL Commander Raglan. Raglan was a civilian then, working contract security exercises with the Navy and Harm had been concerned that he not be too reckless while he had Bud as a legal attaché. He tried to persuade him to tone his security exercises down. At the time, he'd been frustrated that Raglan seemed to blow him off. Now his words were ringing in his ears, 'Persuade Osama Bin Laden to lay off noncombatants and I will. If we get complacent…they can, and will hurt us.' No one believed him, he was ashamed to admit, he'd been as skeptical too. Now, as he watched the towers burning; he wondered what Admiral Kly was thinking right now.
He began to walk back and forth, as he watched the tape being played over and over. The sight of the plane, apparently flying at top speed into the side of the second tower seemed like something out of a bad disaster movie.
Tiner buzzed his office, "Lieutenant Roberts to see you, sir?"
"Send him in"
Bud walked into the office, and came to attention, after Harm told him to stand at ease; his eyes came to rest on the television screen, unable to tear his eyes away.
Harm looked at his watch, "It's the beginning of the workday, the terrorists had to know the building would be full of people, there are 10's of thousands of people there, Bud. I don't think they'll have the time they had in 93' to clear that building."
Both men stood staring at the television screen, as they watched the dazed and bloodied New Yorkers walking down city streets in utter chaos. Some people were looking up and pointing, some were crying.
Something near one of the windows of the towers caught Bud's eye, it looked like a large piece of debris but then it didn't float, the object began to pick up speed as it fell., he discerned arms and legs on the object, 'my God', Bud thought, 'someone jumped.' What a choice to have to make, to be burned alive or to be smashed on the sidewalk 60 or 70 floors below?
He walked closer to the television, still unable to believe what he was seeing. Trying to regain his professional bearing Bud asked, "Do you have any thoughts as to which group could coordinate something on this scale, sir?"
Harm shook his head, watching the same horrific sight that Bud had. "It could be one a number of groups, Hezbollah, Abu Sayef, Al Qeada, all of them with an ax to grind, and they could be funded and equipped by any number of countries. Yemen, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, for all we know, this could have come from South American terrorists. The group responsible for the bombing of the Cole last year…"
"Wasn't Abu Sayef the group that was responsible for overrunning the embassy in Aceh?"
"It is suspected, but not yet confirmed."
They were both silent for a moment.
"All domestic flights are being grounded; she'll probably have to rent a car to get back."
Harm had begun speaking at midthought, puzzling Bud until he heard Harm buzz Petty Officer Tiner's desk, "Tiner…what carrier and flight did Mac say she'd be on this afternoon?"
Tiner looked at the note he'd scribbled this morning when he spoke to Colonel Mackenzie.
"United, sir….flight 1073."
"Thank you, Tiner."
Just as Harm returned his attention to the television, a picture of what the news anchor said was the west wall of the Pentagon, took over the screen. It had been hit, he said 'apparently' by another passenger plane.
Bud stared in disbelief and spoke his thoughts aloud, "this is like watching a nightmare."
Gunny walked up to the open door of the office and knocked. "Excuse me, sir."
"I see it Gunny," Harm immediately went into mission mode. "Notify Admiral Morris and the Sergeant at Arms, we are in lockdown, as of now and until further notice"
"Yes sir." Gunny came to attention and turned on his heel and left the office.
He looked at Tiner, "Try to get Admiral Chegwidden on his cell or someone in the SecNav's office. If you can't reach them…..keep trying."
"Yes….sir."
0950
Tuesday
United flight 1073
Somewhere over the Midwest
The captain had just informed the passengers that they were making their approach to Chicago and would be landing shortly. Then he made an unusual request, he asked that all passengers leave their carry on luggage behind when they deplaned. He did not explain why but apologized for any inconvenience.
Mac looked at her watch, she hoped she wouldn't be delayed too long; she was really ready to get back to JAG. She glanced over at the woman seated next to her and smiled. The woman appeared to be in her mid 50's, dressed casually in jeans and a black loose fitting sweater.
"In a hurry?" the woman asked, looking up from a magazine she had been reading.
"I'm going home; I've been away for quite some time."
"Getting back to your family?" The woman glanced at Mac's hand, noticing after she asked that there was no wedding ring.
Mac was quiet for a moment, thinking that the only family she had was at JAG. "I've been overseas… I'm going back to my job in Washington; I'm a Marine, in the JAG corps." Mac was dressed in her civilian clothes since she was officially on leave.
"Janine Gold," she offered her hand and Mac shook it. "Sounds like an exciting job."
Mac smiled, "It has its moments, I'm Sarah Mackenzie, but my friends call me Mac."
"Well Mac, I'm going to Newark; my son needs my help this week. I'm babysitting for my grandkids while his wife is out of town; they're trying to get settled. They just moved to the area, they're living in a hotel right now."
Mac thought that if not for the slight graying at the temples of her chestnut colored hair and the glasses on her nose, she didn't look like anyone's grandmother.
"Sounds tough, especially with children, I'll bet he really appreciates having you to help him."
"I think so; of course I really love it too. I get a chance to spend time with my grandchildren one on one. Taking care of them is much more interactive than a visit. I learn their likes and dislikes...I haven't had the time I'd like with my youngest grandchild so…I really can't wait to get there. I'm going on and on aren't I?"
Mac smiled indulgently, "Not at all, ma'am. There isn't anything wrong with being a proud grandmother."
"I have to admit, I am. I think they're all perfect." Janine smiled smugly, "Just like their grandmother."
Mac laughed softly and Mrs. Janine asked, "What do you think this is all about?" She gestured toward the front of the plane.
"I have no idea ma'am."
"Maybe it's some kind of security check." Janine pondered aloud and then returned her attention to her magazine.
Within 15 minutes the plane had landed and Mac had deplaned with the other passengers. She hadn't brought anything aboard with her, besides a newspaper and a small purse, with a precious picture that Lylyanna had given her, folded neatly inside.
As they walked into the concourse and waiting area, Mac noticed that people were gathered around several television monitors near their gate.
Mac began to walk toward one of the larger monitors and as she got closer, she was stunned as she realized what she was seeing. It was the World Trade Center, and it was on fire. As she came nearer to the set and into a group of people shocked into silence, as they listened to the news anchors report….Two passenger planes had been flown into the Twin Towers.
Mac had just begun to absorb what was happening when the screen split and another image was flashed onto the television screen. The words flashed below the picture, 'Plane crashes into the Pentagon.' Mac could only see black smoke, fire and people running away from the gaping hole in one of the walls of the building. Mac immediately took out her cell phone and speed dialed Harm's cell phone. She was unable to get through, not even to his voice mail. She refused to think he was anywhere near the terror she was seeing on the television screen, maybe he'd turned off his cell for his meeting. Mac couldn't bear to think anything else.
The sense of the surreal was overwhelming. Even though she had just left Indonesia, a region filled with unrest and from some quarters, undisguised hatred for the United States, she couldn't believe that the violence would come here. This was a coordinated attack, there could be no doubt now.
The request made by the Captain before they landed, made sense to her now. She over heard someone behind her say, 'All flights are being grounded. We're on our own getting to our homes.' Mac thought it was the smartest thing to do; who knew what else would happen if they didn't ground them? A man passed her on the concourse and said to her, with a look of disbelief on his face. "The Sears Tower, they think they might try to get the Sears Tower."
As Mac began to look around the area, she noticed a strong police presence in the airport and they seemed to be trying to get people to move out of this particular area. Maybe the police did know something that they didn't, maybe there was a threat here, and maybe even aboard the plane she had just been on. To everyone's credit, there was no panic; everyone seemed to be making their way down as quickly as they could. As Mac made her way out of her particular concourse, she noticed that the police were moving people out of the other sections of the airport, as well. It was obvious to her now…. they were evacuating the airport.
As Mac moved along she heard, a number of shocked and distressed voices, "Oh no…Oh my God…" She looked up at one of the monitors in time to see one of the towers was collapsing upon itself. She stopped and stood still, the enormity of all the lives that were being lost at that moment, striking her to her heart. People on the ground were running and screaming as the huge clouds of dust and smoke billowed into the streets, engulfing people as they ran, some of them screaming from the unbelievable horror of what was happening. Then she continued to walk, though she couldn't take her eyes from the monitors; she couldn't shake the palpable feeling of thousands of souls, crying out in pain and despair, of thousands of lives snuffed out, in a matter of seconds.
When she finally tore her eyes away, she recognized the woman who had been seated next to her on the plane. "Mrs. Gold….ma'am…..are you all right?" The woman was still looking at the picture of the tower falling and it's after math, with a dazed expression on her face, she said, 'my son could be in there.' After she spoke, she began to walk in the same direction that everyone else was, though she hadn't really acknowledged Mac. She spoke to her again. "Mrs. Gold….are you okay?"
She looked at Mac then, "I'm okay…but I can't reach my son….my husband can't either." Glancing down at the cell phone in her hand, "My battery is getting low…I don't have a charger….its on the plane." She looked behind her toward the gate they had just come out of.
"I don't think we're getting back to the planes ma'am"
"Probably not." Her voice was nearly a monotone, a thousand thoughts skittering through her mind, not the least of which was…how would she get to her grandchildren?
As Mac and Janine neared the end of the breezeway, they saw seemingly interminable lines at the few pay phones that were available.
Without speaking, they walked together, toward the escalators and baggage claim, both of them realizing with the threat to the Sears Tower, that it would be a long wait. As they passed the desks for rental cars, they had trouble navigating around the long lines that had materialized in an instant.
"There is no way I'm going to be able to get a rental."
Mac agreed, "Probably not ma'am."
"Would you like to use my cell phone ma'am? Maybe your husband was able to get through to your son." Though Mac knew that if he was in the South Tower when it fell, then he was gone.
Janine thanked her and called her husband, he'd still had no luck reaching their son. Mac heard her telling her husband that she didn't think she'd be able to rent anything. She did say that she was going to get to New Jersey somehow and told her husband not to worry about her, but to keep trying to reach their son.
Mac and Janine settled in, for the long wait for their luggage, each woman deep into her own thoughts. Mac was wishing for all the world that she could see Harm…wishing that she could just hear his voice…saying anything….teasing her...arguing with her...anything. He had to be alright….her mind refused to comprehend anything else. Janine was fervently but silently praying inside her secret heart, that her son and his family were safe.
1130
Tuesday
September 11th, 2001
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm was still in the Admirals office, keeping things running smoothly while coordinating with Legal Services down stairs and Admiral Morris in judiciary services. He had also been trying without success to reach Mac on her cell phone. All planes had been grounded, though some were still not accounted for. He had just heard the flight numbers of 2 aircraft lost by American Airlines, 139 passengers, many of them children and 17 crew members perished in the process of being used to kill so many others. Some news reports had the numbers of possible dead in the tens of thousands at the World Trade Center alone.
As they had before, the terrorists seemed to use the most vulnerable weapons to kill and destroy. In that moment, it seemed to Harm that terrorists didn't want to fight as soldiers; they knew they couldn't win that way. Harm seethed as he thought, it was too honest for them, the terrorist way was to hit the softer and more vulnerable targets… civilians, just innocent people getting up, going to work, taking care of their families…the more defenseless…the better.
He thought there had to be a special place in hell for anyone who tried to justify doing this, for any cause. There was no logic and no reason to it at all.
Harm was startled from his thoughts by the sound of Tiner's voice. "Commander Rabb, sir, you might want to see this. Another plane…."
Harm turned toward the television and used the remote to turn it up.
The screen showed a huge black smoking hole in the ground, on a beautiful green hill. He pushed back the panic that threatened to rise up in him. Mac could not be on that plane…it wasn't even a plane anymore; it was as though it had disintegrated into black ash and smoke.
"Sir….I have the Admiral." Tiner's voice, once again on the intercom.
Harm snapped to and picked up the phone. "Admiral…..sir….great to hear from you. Are you….all right, sir?"
"Yes, Commander, I'm fine…but it would be hard to describe what I've seen and heard today." Even now the Admiral smelled the burning jet fuel, and heard the cries of people trapped beneath the rubble of the building.
"I understand sir."
"I'm going to stay…help as much as I can with search and rescue…everything okay there?"
"Yes, sir. We're in lock down."
"Good man, any word from Colonel Mackenzie?"
"Not yet sir."
"Is it true there was another plane on its way to DC?"
"Yes sir, I…just got word. Another plane, apparently intended to crash into the Capital Building or the White House….has crashed…in Pennsylvania."
Harm glanced back at the television, a sense of foreboding building inside him, until he read the ticker at the bottom of the screen which revealed the flight number and carrier.
"The reports are saying its United…..flight 93." He told the Admiral, the sense of relief he felt made him lean back against the desk. "Mac's flight is 1073."
"I'm sure she's fine Commander. God help the people who were on 93 and the people waiting for their return."
"Yes, sir."
"Has the airline accounted for all flights?"
"No sir, not all of them."
"Keep me posted, I'll keep my cell on, I just won't promise you'll be able to get through."
"Yes sir, will do sir."
The Admiral ended the call and Harm tried again to reach Mac, only to get the recording 'the customer at 555 1212 is not available at this time…."
Just this morning, he had been thinking of just getting back to normal, everyday life at JAG with Mac. He had the feeling that life would never be the same again and all that he could think of was what he'd never said to her.
He loved her.
TBC