Cupid's Mistake
Shajira
Disclaimer: I own no part of CCS and I'm sure there are a lot of stories out there same as this one. Except for my own twists, of course.
Summary: Do you agree that Cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow for him to realize how much love hurts? Or is love really just a miserable redundancy of cynical acts of dispute?
Read, enjoy and reiew n-n
It was 3' o clock in the morning when I heard my cell phone beep. It goes like "…I tried to run from your side but each place I hide it only reminds me of you... When i turn out all the lights, even the night it only reminds me of you..." It's so damn early! I heard a part of me that says, "then why are you STILL awake?" I pushed that thought away and read the message.
It's from my cousin, Tomoyo. And as usual, she's again sending another forwarded message that she became addicted to in less that 2 seconds. Anyways, I read her text.
He said: I love you!
I sneezed and said: Sorry, I'm allergic to those kinds of bullshit.
Instantly, I felt a pang. Here, in the middle of my chest. A place where a scar stays. And as a wound is once again opening, I remembered my past love. It is just the same as the situation in the message except that it's the other way around…
I'd like to stay as a secret, just like walking in the dark…If no one knows me, if no one cares then that would be just fine. At least, no one can ever break my heart, right?
But good ol me couldn't stop myself from keeping off the ground. I tried to grasp something I couldn't reach. I told myself that I wouldn't be out there in the light for long…I'll just take a peek of what it feels like…
To be in love.
So I let Cupid struck me with his arrow.
And I thought he really needed a salary increase. Boy, was he great. He shot the same arrow at the very same guy every one has her eyes on. It's the most sought-after soccer star of the campus, amber-eyed chestnut-haired Li Syaoran.
The moment he said "I love you" to me, a geek, I felt like throwing my glasses away, wearing those short skirts and revealing shirts, and punching the life out of those women ogling my man. Because I now have Li Syaoran by my side the moment I replied "Yes".
Though at that moment a part of me screamed and doubted him, I still became his girl. I didn't tell him I love him coz I want it to be perfectly said at the perfectly perfect time and place.
I was always smiling that time in spite of all the horrible bashings from my schoolmates. I still kept my geeky image. Syaoran told me he loved me for me and wouldn't want me to change image. Haaaay, I was so proud of him. He's sooo sweet.
Every time I went out with him meant pure bliss. But every time I went home, I got double load of assignments, projects and all. But I didn't mind. Trusting me with his home works meant trusting me with his life. Soccer practice was very stressful and important to him. It wouldn't be good for the campus' star to be more stressed than ever because of home works his girlfriend can easily do.
I didn't want to return to the dark anymore. The light is very addicting.
And as what some say, "Don't abuse drugs. It's very addicting. You could get in danger."
And so is love. It is a drug. It numbs an aching heart and screaming mind. It blinds the soul.
I finally gathered the guts to say how I feel for him.
I told him, "I love you."
And know what he said?
"Sorry. My five-minute love for you is over. Can't you talk to me ever again? The line is still long. My customers are waiting."
Then he walked away. Only to met with his coach's daughter, a customer. What could this girl's payment be? I already paid him. Enough to make him the only person who ranked higher than me…Me whom he left with a wound forever scarring my poor heart…
Even though Cupid should be blamed and shoot himself with his own damn arrow for him to realize how much love hurt, I know I am part to be blamed too.
I stayed too long in the light.
I loved desperately.
And loving desperately is like holding a broken piece of glass ---- not wanting to give up but your hands feel the pain, and when you finally let go, you are free from pain but your hands are empty and bleeding.
My cell phone beeped once again (...It only reminds me of you...). It was Tomoyo. She was asking me to make a quote about love for her to get addicted to again. And so this is how I replied:
How love works:
I'm trying not to believe in a special kind of love anymore because it sucks…I tried to fight for someone and got nothing…gave my time, effort and all but it wasn't enough to make the person stay…swallowed up every piece of crap but still, nothing happened…Maybe I should get more time to rationalize those cynical acts of dispute of my own self and count every miserable redundancy…And that's love for me.
.End.
.Wakas.
Am I that evil?? Nooo! I love Syao-kun tooo much but I have to do that…I would like to dedicate and thank my friend Yacza who supplies me day and night with broken-hearted qoutes juts like that one How Much Love Works which is one of my favorite…
By the way, the song was Only Reminds Me of You which is a revival of MYMP...the lyrics don't kinda match the story but it was my fave! hehe
So sorry for updating too long. School just started here in the Philippines and High School Seniors are busy preparing for college entrance and scholarship exams.
Miz ya all!
Mwahugzzzzz,
Shajira