I really wanted to write this despite my large amount of stories and school work. LOL enjoy!
Disclaimer: Own nothing, uh huh nothing. Just a thirteen year old girl writing stories about her favorite tv show on this snowy evening. Though some dialogue is taken from the actual episode.
Summary: Set during S7, a day before her and Chandler's wedding Monica finds out something shocking.(Don't worry it's Mondler's baby, not the Lobsters baby)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time we'll all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Phoebe: Why?! What's happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the mrs. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Monica: Old?
Chandler: The young hot ball and chain.
Monica: That's much better.
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Monica: We're gonna pick up the wedding dress, then we're gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
Ross: Ah. Joey, you're-you're having lunch with my mom?
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Ross: (To Chandler) Y'know what? Actually I'm kinda glad they're leaving 'cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: What's up?
Ross: Well this uh, this may be a little awkward.
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: No, its…Its not that. Umm, now what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend. Okay? I'm-I'm saying as it as Monica's older brother.
Chandler: But you're still my friend?
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Chandler: During this time…are you, are you still my best man?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monica's older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? I'm-I'm-I'm serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) Come—Hey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? I'm-I'm not kidding here!
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Ross: No problem.
Chandler: So are we…friends again?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me!
Back at the apartment after lunch...
Monica stared at the positive pregnancy test in her hands. She threw it away and came in the kitchen saying "Throw out the garbage everyday"
"I'm gonna go to work now" Monica left.
Then two hours later only Rachel and Phoebe were in the apartment,
"Let's go throw out the trash" Phoebe suggested then they went into the bathroom but as they were cleaning out the trashcan. Phoebe noticed a positive pregnancy test.
"Oh my god!" Pheobe exclaimed.
"What?" Rachel asked.
"There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive. Monica's pregnant." Phoebe explained.
"Oh my God!" Rahcel recited back.
"I know! Monica's gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?" Phoebe clapped her hands together.
"Oh my God!" Rachel kept on saying.
(spoken by Phoebe) "Hey, do you think this is why Chandler and her decided to get married?"
(spoken by Rachel) "No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night and I know Monica made a point to have the trash taken out every night."
(spoken by Phoebe) "Okay, Rach, we can not tell anyone we know about this."
(spoken by Rachel) "Right."
(spoken by Phoebe) "Okay?"
(spoken by Rachel) "Yeah, okay."
(spoken by Phoebe) "Good. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?"
(spoken by Rachel) "No. Why?"
(spoken by Phoebe) "Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it."
They threw Monica's positive pregnancy test back into the trash can then came in to see Joey rummaging for food.
"Hi there Hotty" Rachel wrapped her arms around her boyfriend.
"We've just found out something" Rachel said.
Phoebe nods when Rachel mouths asking if they should tell.
"Someones pregnant'" Rachel stated.
"Wha- you pregnant Rach? I can't be a daddy just yet" Joey asked nerviously.
"No Joey I'm not pregnant though I wish I was" Rachel explained.
"Then who is?" Joey questioned.
"Monica's pregnant" Phoebe clarifed.
"Oh my god! Chandler and her are having a baby. This is so big!" Joey exclaimed.
"I know! We can't tell anyone yet, okay?" Rachel answered.
"Okay" Joey and Phoebe agreed.
"Now that the three of us know, let's go to Central Perk and forget this ever happened. What do you say?" Phoebe suggested.
"Ya let's go" Joey, Phoebe and Rachel left.
At the coffee house the trio sat discussing what they just found out.
"Chandler and Monica are having a baby. This is so big" Phoebe enthusiastically said.
"Do you know how he knocked her up?" Joey asked horny.
"Joey!" Rachel slapped her boyfriend in the shoulder.
"Soon we'll have lots of Baby Bings" Phoebe states.
"What are you guys talking 'bout?" Ross asked.
"Oh god! Don't scare us like this ever again" Rachel slapped her ex-boyfriend upside the head.
That evening at the rehearsal...
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up to the soon to be married couple and parents.)
Rachel: Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Monica: What is that?
Ross: Well I…I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
(Chandler's Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Chandler: Hi.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (She's wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon there'll be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) It's lovely to meet you.
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! I've never seen one before!
Monica: Dad! There's Ross (points), why don't you go talk to him?
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mr. Geller: I didn't even have a chance to act as though I'm okay with it!
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Chandler: Hi…dad.
Monica: Hi Mr.…Bing.
Mr. Bing: Nora!
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Monica: It-it's so great to see you both here.
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: …of course you can kick his ass son.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyone's ass you want to.
Ross: Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would you talk to Chandler's dad and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?
Rachel: Yeah! But I don't know what he looks like!
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Rachel: Man in the black dress… (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! I'm Rachel! I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's!
Woman: I'm Amanda.
Rachel: Oh I get it! A…man…duh!
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyone's attention please? I'm uh; I'm Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Ross: Dad…dad, please! As I was saying umm, I'm Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and I'm the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, she's the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if you'd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple we're here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
All: To the Bings!
(Everyone clinks glasses and Chandler freaks out again.)
Rachel and Phoebe ask Monica "How are you feeling?"
"Woozy, my heads off the wall and uh-oh" Monica said oblivious to the fact the two girls and Joey know about her pregnancy. She then ran to the bathroom to throw up.
"She's definitely pregnant" Phoebe whispered to Rachel.
"I can't believe her and Chandler are gonna have a baby" Rachel gushed silently.
Then Joey came up to the podium to give a practice speech.
"I'd like to propose a toast to Chandler and Monica. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will." No one in the room laughs; he starts to get flustered. "Okay. I've known Chandler for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first real serious girlfriend..." Chandler looks embarrassed. "...and I thought things were going to work out for him... until the day he over inflated her." he laughs. Charles looks at Nora and no one in the room laughs. "Oh, Dear God..."
"And I know everyone will agree with me that the love Chandler and Monica share with each other has truly enriched the days of our lives." Nobody laughs at the reference "Oh, come on! 'Days of Our Lives'! One of its biggest stars appearing before your very eyes! Come on, people! All right, forget it! Congratulations, Chandler and Monica." He sits down.
"That was beautiful" Rachel hugged her boyfriend.
Monica then emerged from the bathroom, missing the speech. She took a sip of a drink not knowing that it is wine.
"Somebody get this away from me!" Monica screeched quietly.
Rachel took it away from her and asked "Hun you okay?"
"Fine" Monica replied.
"Definitely. Mon's pregnant" Rachel whispered to Joey and Phoebe.
That evening, back at the apartment Monica is in the bathroom and Chandler is listening to their messages.
"Mon!" Chandler called out.
"I'm in the bathroom" Monica called back out. She didn't want Chandler to know they are having a baby just yet. It would probably freak him out more then what everything is now.
Then she came out and wrapped her arms around him...
Monica: Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow we'll be getting married?
Chandler: Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night.
Monica: I just, I can't believe that we made it!
Chandler: Well you don't have to sound so surprised.
Monica: I'm sorry but…nothing.
Chandler: What?
Monica: Well…honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to.. to flip you out.
Chandler: Honestly? Me too.
Monica: Really?
Chandler: Yeah. Y'know I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and I'll go all…Chandler. But nothing has.
Monica: Ohh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean it's really, it's made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Monica: You okay now? (Chandler nodded) Good come into bed with me.
(She starts to take off his tie and he starts to unzip her dress)
Chandler: Okay. I'll be right there.
(She enters the bedroom and as Chandler takes off his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If you're calling before Saturday, you've reached Monica and Chandler. But if you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
(Chandler freaks out and loosens his tie.)
TBC...
A very kind reviewer decided to collaborate with me on this story, anyone else who wants to join in can PM me or state in a review. Thanx! Yes Joey and Rachel are a couple in this, they got together in 7x14 after she broke it with Tag. Longest prologue I've ever writen before. I feel so proud of myself :^)