Author note:Wow, I haven't posted here in a while. I also haven't posted anything in the Final Fantasy fandom in like, forever. I'm guilty of man whoring Gackt off but, it's really not my fault, I blame it on my Gackt muse. He wanted me to do all the angst crap with him and who ever he was in the mood for and now, I have a Genesis muse and him and my Gackt muse get into angst fights. I swear, the both of them love making me write angst -.-; Any way, sorry for the long author note ^^ I hope you enjoy and no, the chick's not a Mary Sue, just a wrong OFC.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but Tsukiko. Final Fantasy VII belongs to Square Enix.
Speak
It wasn't that he didn't love her because he did. He loved her so much that, if he didn't have he right next to him, it'd hurt to breath. If he lost her, he didn't know what he do, how he'd go on but, just because he loved her with his whole heart, his whole soul, didn't mean he loved her wisely.
If he were her, he would've left himself. He was lucky she stayed with him throughout all his ups and downs, his downs being more than his ups.
He knew though, knew with everything that he was that one day, one day very soon, he'd do something extreme and loose her and he knew, knew from the bottom of his soul that, no matter how much he loved her, no matter how much he'd ache without her there, she wouldn't come back.
And that day came too soon for his tastes.
It was a stressful day. Paper work, photo shots, a meeting with the department heads , the day just went on and on and on. All he wanted to do was go home, pop a couple of Advil and curl up in her arms but, like a fool he went out to the bar. A beer became a couple and soon, the simple beer morphed into a shot and the shot became body shots those body shots became frantic grouping and harsh kissing.
He didn't know how he and the un-known girl did it in their drunken state but, they made it to his apartment, the very one he shared with her.
Cloths were stripped and thrown as they stumbled towards the bedroom. Hands clumsily undid buttons, drunken kiss danced along collar bones, harsh pants and desperate groans slipped past swollen lips.
They made it to the bed, cloths off and without warning, he sank into the woman with a groan. He didn't know what it was but, as he was encased by the mystery woman's warmth, he couldn't bring himself to regret what he was doing.
The woman under him wrapped her legs around his waist and with a soft mewl, she begged him to move harder, faster, deeper. And he did. Her nails left bright red, angry marks along his back and he griped her hips hard enough to bruise. Bits, hard enough to mark were left along chests, necks, and collar bones and with one last, sharp thrust, he came with not the name of the woman beneath him but her name.
Sunlight poured through the thin, white curtains bright and cheerful. With a groan, he rolled over and tossed his arm around her waist. A frown crossed his lips when his arm meet nothing but cool sheets.
"I've put up with a lot from you, Genesis" Her voice whispered and gentle fingers ran through his tangled, bed ridden hair. "But, drunk or not I will not put up with you cheating on me."
Wincing, he sat up. The pounding head ache from yesterday was back and it brought friends with it. It felt like a heard of raging elephants were running around his poor brain. "What do you mean?" He slurred, voice rough from sleep and sex.
A smile, sad and heart broken crossed her plump lips and without a thought he reached for her, tried to pull her to him, tried to do anything to get that heart broken look off her face.
"No," She whispered shaking her head. "Don't touch me."
"I'm lost." He said quickly getting frustrated. He didn't know what was going on or why she was accusing him of cheating on her when he was never unfaithful.
"You don't remember, do you?" She asked softly, voice never rising from that whisper.
In painful flashbacks, every memory returned. The bar, the body shots, the woman, the sex....
"Tsukiko I didn't mean it." He whispered, shocking coloring his features.
She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "I don't care." Turning away from him, she placed a key on the night stand. "I'm leaving and I'm done with you."
He could only watch as she walked away from him. Everything was crying out in pain, yelling at him to go after her, to do something other than watch as she walked away but, he couldn't. He couldn't do anything other than place a hand over his heart. Though there was no physical wound, it hurt, felt like the beating organ was ripped right out of his chest.
He remembered reading one of Shakespeare's works, Othello. In it, Othello killed his lovely, loyal wife out of jealously and, just before he killed himself to join his wife he said, "Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate, nor set down aught in malice: then, must you speak of one that lov'd not wisely but too well..." He loved her and he loved her well but in the end, he didn't love her wisely...