it is the morning after Tai's death... I cant believe it, how could such a horrible thing happen to my brother? my brother... how I loved him so much. he used to blame himself for everything. he was a great leader and yet he was so hard on himself when something went wrong. he couldn't take all the responsibility, me... the group... I think thats what did it... I f only I could've done something. I can still replay the scene in my head... Tai , the digimon, all of it...

All of our digimon were at ultimate stage except gabumon and agumon... they were mega. we all had been fighting fearsomon and thought we were doing well until... until fearsomon got up and spoke directly to Tai

" Tai, you, the leader, the one who is responsible for the crest of courage... you would let everyone down..."

"what" asked Tai.

" you have failed at being a leader. you have failed at being a big brother. and now, you have failed your life..."

Tai just stopped to think.. he thought about Kari and how much trouble she was in because of him, the group and how they could do without him getting them into trouble with the evil... he understood now, he was to die and he realized it was for the good of the team and his sister.

Tai did not want the evil digimon to be the one to end his life, so he took a knife from his bag, he turned around and said to the group and especially Kari,

" you guys I have realized something... all this time I have just been a burden to you all. Kari is at so much risk cause of me and my selfishness and foolishness... the group is also getting in too danger all the time so now I am going to end that all right now."

and with that he took the knife, aimed it at his chest and said" goodbye everyone, Matt, please watch over Kari.."

"Tai you cant do this you dont know what your thinking your delirious from fearsomon's attack... snap out of it!" screamed Matt at Tai, not being able to stand seeing Tai like this.

" no Matt, this is for the good of the team"

Tai took the knife that was now pulled back and shoved it in his heart. his last words were" I love you Kari. you are the best sister and please dont ever forget me"

Kari was kneeling down next tot Tai with his head on her lap and his hand in hers," no Tai, please dont leave me, I can never forget you . how could you think that? I cant go on with out you! dont leave me please!" Kari started crying uncontrollably as her beloved brother died in her hands.

mimi and everyone else including the digimon came over to comfort her but nothing would work. fearsomon disappeared but no one noticed or even cared ... all they cared about was their leader, Tai, and Kari.

so when we all got back , Matt carrying Tai's limp, motionless, and unliving body, our parents went ecstatic. mom cried into dads shoulder and I into moms. we decided to have an open-casket funeral so everyone could get one last look at the boy who had allot going for him.

Tai may not have had the best grades but he was awesome at soccer and probably could've done it professionally, he had friends and family who cared very much for him. I cant believe he did that...

it was my turn to stand up and say something about my brother " Tai was the best brother, he helped me in my times of need and I cant understand why he thought it would be better for me that this happened. we all loved him. and I hope right now he can heart this and know that everyone who is here, is here because we all knew and loved him. he was great and could've actually gone somewhere in his life if he had not ended it so soon. thank you"

I stepped down from the podium, and as I walked by everyone I noticed how everyone looked, Joe had wet eyes and so did Sora and mim, Izzy you could tell had been crying, I took my seat between Matt and T.K..

"Kari, I hope too that Tai cant know that we all are here for him." Matt said to me. he wasn't looking at me or around at all... he was staring at his hands. when he finished he looked around and then back down.

everyone was going up to say their silent words to Tai and I knew I should go up," Tai , I love you. will you be looking for me when I die? I hope so cause I will be looking for you. I dont understand how you helped me but all this..."

all of a sudden I heard a voice... a very familiar voice " K Kari, I am sorry for what I have put you through. I love you too but it was better for this to happen."

" no Tai it wasn't better for this. this is just hurting me more. I wish I could be with you and only you. I loved you so much Tai and that is all I think about."

" Kari listen to me, you dont need me. all I did was mess things up. but I will look for you when you die... lets just hope that isn't so soon"

When the funeral was over me and mom and dad went home. I went into my room and laid on my bed. I started to cry and couldn't stop my self. I cried so hard that my head hurt. it hurt so badly I couldn't think I couldn't do anything right now except wait. I waited for sleep to take over my body. when it did not I thought of death. I knew I shouldn't be thinking like that but Tai means so much to me. argh why cant I just die and be with Tai? Tai, you do know that you have been the only one that has ever been there for me... oh how I miss you so much and it hasn't even been more than 2 days.

I went into the kitchen, took out a knife and aimed at my chest... I couldn't I just couldn't... Tai didn't want me to, and I loved Tai too much to make him regret what he did. but the pain hurt so bad I just wanted it all to go away... why did tai have to die at age 15? I want to be with you tai!

I walked back to my room. Its now around midnight and I can still hear talking in my parents room," oh my poor son, if only he knew how to deal with stress and responsibility... I only we had taught him... may be this wouldn't have happened"

I knew mom and dad were blaming themselves. I was blaming myself ...

I must have fallen asleep sometime after that cause I dont remember anything else. its 7 o'clock now on Saturday morning. I lay in bed even though its time for breakfast. I cant go on. I miss Tai.

I heard a knock on the door. it was mom. she said that Matt and T.K. were here to see em so I reluctantly got dressed and went downstairs.

" hi sleepy head how you feeling?" said Matt.

" good morning. I guess I'm OK" I said even though I knew I wasn't fine..." I think that Matt sensed this cause he told me to sit down on the couch.

" Kari you know we all miss him but none of us as much as you do. I know he was there for you, protecting you... he love you very much and I dont think he intentionally meant to hurt you."

" I know. I dont think he meant to hurt me either but he did and now I'll just have to keep trying"

" well since your all right I guess we should go and get home. hope you feel better Kari. bye"

Matt and T.K. left. mom and dad went to work. I was all alone again. all alone... I felt the pain again...the pain that stayed in my heart... I started to cry again and never even tried to stop for crying made it feel better some times, but this time the crying didn't help and I knew what I had to do. I knew that I couldn't go on with the rest of the digidestined , I knew my mind wouldn't be clear until I saw Tai again...

I walked into my parents bed room. took dads handgun and said " soon Tai, I will be with you" and pulled the trigger.

Disclaimer's Note: I do not own digimon or any of the characters.

OK I know this was not the best story, but please review anyway.