Cullens in the kitchen.

Authors talking space: ok so this is my first twilight fan fiction and I would like Your support. R&R please!

Disclaimer:

Edward: …another story about me?

Me: This is actually my first twilight fic…

Edward: so what is this space in your story for?

Me: this is the disclaimer section where I say that I don't own Stephanie Myer's books or characters.

Edward: so am I meant to be talking?

Me: not really…. This part is meant to be relatively short…..

Edward: will you read me the story? Pretty, pretty please?

Me: ….fine... Here goes *clears throat* "Cullens in the kitchen."

Chapter one:

"Who knew cooking was so hard!" roared Emmett who after several attempts to attach the beaters to the egg beater was now left with a smoking pile of scrapped metal. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You haven't even touched the food yet Emmett," she remarked "perhaps it's for the best…"

"I don't know how the humans do it." Remarked Esme, her normally kind face creased in annoyance. In front of her lay a ruined microwave and the blackened charred mess that was once 'put it in the microwave and let it do the rest' popcorn. "I thought this was supposed to be relatively simple!"

Alice looked glum. She hadn't even started yet. She kept seeing her failures before she even cracked an egg. "I suppose that putting an entire fish in a stew without gutting or scaling wasn't the best idea." She remarked to no-one in particular.

Looking around the kitchen you were greeted with the strangest sights. Emmett had moved on from the egg beater and was now holding one of his fingers he had cut off with a knife. Rosalie was arranging a raw chicken on a platter of blackened mess that she proudly announced was vegetables. Jasper was carefully trying to crack an egg but accidentally applied to much force and smashed it over the bench earning a glare from Esme. Esme couldn't really talk because over flowing behind her on the stove was a sticky orange mess with what looked suspiciously like the fish from Alice's earlier vision. Alice herself was in a heated argument with Carlisle, trying to convince him that fish food would not make a good flavour for an omelette, having seen the result herself.

Through the open door Edwards annoyed voice floated through. "Can you believe that NONE of the 20,000 channels we own are the food network?"