Title: The Panda Bears
Summary: This is a one shot post Severance fic. It begins right where the show left off.
Rating: M It wasn't meant to be, but I got carried away at the end.
As they walk down the street away from the crime scene bantering about make-up sex Emily disarms the defenses she's had up for the past ten days (except for the slip in the command bus) and slips her hand into Matt's. She is still crazy about him and she knows she'll never forgive herself if she doesn't lay herself out there and see if he is still crazy about her too.
"So does this mean you're coming over for some make-up sex?" he asks flashing her his best playful smile in hopes of winning her over. He knows it isn't going to be easy, but God how he's missed this, missed her. He's over the whole being angry and fighting thing. He just wants her back and will do anything to make that happen. He slightly tightens his grip on her hand not wanting to let her slip away again. As she laces their fingers, he feels like he can breathe again after being under water for the past ten days.
"Maybe," she replies turning to face him as they reach his car. "I think we need to figure out how to fix us first, if that's even what we both want." She's not sure how much of this breakup is still about what happened at the prison and how much of it is about missed signals and messed up communication. "That's why I said yesterday was stupid, because I had sex with you having no idea where we stood with each other, which I knew would only lead to more confusion and possible hurt," Emily begins to unravel one of their miscommunications. After thinking for a moment she adds, "Actually that's not true. I know where I stand. I still love you and want to be with you, which is why I need to know what you are thinking before we do anything else."
"I love you," he says reaching over and touching her cheek with his free hand. "I thought you said it was stupid because you were trying to pick a fight and you still wanted to be broken up," Matt tells her.
"I never wanted to be broken up," she reminds him softly as she lets go of his hand and takes a step back as the hurt creeps back in a little bit.
"But I thought you did." Matt closes the distance between them again trying to explain away the hurt.
"You never asked me how I felt!" she exclaims slapping the back of one hand into the palm of the other in front of her chest as she tries to make him understand. "You just decided…" She was going to finish with 'that we should break up,' but Matt interrupts.
"That's because you never told me," he accuses her of not letting him know how she felt about him, about them.
"I tried," she defends resisting the urge to scream it at him while trying to calm herself down knowing they won't figure anything out if they get upset, defensive, and emotional.
"Ok," he relents not wanting to do this here. "We need to talk. Dinner at my place sound good?"
"Yeah, I'll ride back to the office with Cheryl to get my car and then I'll be over. Do you want me to pick up anything?" she asks.
"Nope, I'll do it," he replies. "See you soon," he adds leaning over to kiss her cheek.
After she takes a few steps away from him, an idea pops into Emily's head. She turns back to Matt as he unlocks his car and requests, "Let me get the wine."
"You didn't go with Matt?" Cheryl asks as Emily approaches.
"We're still broken up," Emily tells Cheryl. She doesn't want every little twist and turn of their relationship known.
"Oh, sorry, it just seems like you guys were clicking in there," Cheryl apologizes. Emily can't believe that Cheryl almost looks a little disappointed.
"I think we'll be okay around each other," she tells Cheryl. "Can I get a ride back to the office?"
"Of course," Cheryl replies. She is disappointed they are not getting back together. She likes Emily and thinks she is just what Matt needs. She also knows Matt is a good guy and Emily must be in love with him to risk participating in a relationship with her partner.
As Emily walks up to his front door an hour and a half later, she tries to think of what she's going to say first. She doesn't know how things got so messed up so quickly, so she's not quite sure what to say to make them better. She supposes that's all part of figuring out a relationship. A few weeks ago she would have walked right into Matt's house, but tonight she feels she needs to knock. Matt yelling, "Come in" from the kitchen is a relief to her. She's glad he didn't go through the formality of coming to the door.
The seconds it takes for her to get from the front door to the kitchen are too long for him. He can't wait to see her and spend time with her, and as soon as he lays eyes on her he is reminded of why he is insanely in love with this woman.
"Nice, boxed wine," he comments on what she is carrying and gives her that cute smile she's missed so much. "It'll go perfect with this," he says indicating what he making at the stove.
"I'm hoping it will help us remember we have a good thing," she refers to some advice Cheryl had given them about a month ago. As she sets the wine on the counter she notes that she isn't the only one being sentimental. He is preparing the first meal they ever made together.
"Those are for you," he says nodding to the flowers and Panda bear on the counter.
She picks up the card. It reads
I'm sorry I hurt you.
I hope these are a small way of showing you I'm standing down.
Love,
Matt
"Thanks. That means a lot," she tells him leaning down to smell the flowers. Then picking up the panda bear she takes a moment to feel the knots in her stomach loosen with the relief of knowing that he can and is willing to work this out. She sets her panda back down and reaches into the bag still slug over her shoulder to pull out a panda bear of her own. "I'm standing down too," she says giving him a small hopeful smile as she holds out the bear. Instead of taking the bear, he lightly grabs her wrist and pulls her into his arms. It's the place he's wanted her to be since the moment he saw her the morning after he suggested they take a break. He was just too stubborn to admit it to himself or her.
"So we're both good listeners," she comments pulling back a little from the embrace to look up into his eyes. "What the hell happened?" she asks honestly not knowing how they went from being so connected to hurting each other so deeply.
"I don't know," he replies slightly frustrated at not having the answers. "We both said things and misinterpreted things."
"There's so much we need to talk about and figure out," she tells him feeling a little overwhelmed, but knowing she's willing to put in the work to keep the most amazing relationship, friendship, and love she has ever shared with anyone. She rests her head against his shoulder and presses her lips to his t-shirt then moves over and lightly presses them against the skin just above the neckline of his shirt as she takes in the scent of the man she loves.
"After dinner," he insists lifting her chin and kissing her softly and briefly. "Speaking of dinner, I'd better flip it or we'll be having takeout."
"Anything sounds good to me," she tells him as she lets him go tend to dinner and pours herself a glass of wine to steady her nerves and emotions. "I haven't really eaten too much in the past two weeks," she shares surprised that she is openly admitting what a wreck she has been.
Matt has an instant flash of pride in knowing Emily so well. He knew she'd been lying through her teeth when she said it wasn't hard for her.
"Now eating meals I haven't had a problem with, but I couldn't bring myself to eat ice cream without you. Nearly two weeks, no ice cream!" he takes his turn sharing how miserable he was without her. The fact that he couldn't eat ice cream, which has always been a favorite past time of theirs, brings a sympathetic smile to her face for him and for herself.
"Lia made me eat a whole quart with her one night. Something about it being the only food to eat during a break up... I threw it up." She only shares this last bit of information because she knows it will bring home the point of what their break up did to her and it won't gross him out.
"Ohh," he sympathizes grimacing. "What flavor?"
"Rocky Road. Not one of my favorites anyway," she replies.
"I won't be drinking Captain and Coke for awhile," Matt matches her admission with one of his own.
Dinner is filled with reminiscing about the first time they tried to make blackened catfish and nearly burnt Emily's condo down. It reeked of smoke for days and she was forced to stay at Matt's. Smiles and caresses are shared as they try to talk about other things, but that is difficult when they have the issue of their last case hanging over them and both of them want so badly to have their relationship back on solid ground.
"I missed you," Emily opens up the conversation locking eyes with him over their wine glasses.
"Me too," he replies setting his glass down and caressing her arm. "The past ten days have been hell."
"I hated not being able to talk to you whenever I wanted to," Emily tells him.
"Or drop by and hang out whenever," Matt adds.
"The worst part is I don't even know how it got this way. I mean I sort of know. I should have told you more how much you mean to me because it really does scare me to think of my life without you," Emily admits to him.
Matt is astounded by Emily's openness. He has always been pretty sure that she enjoys their relationship, but at times he is unsure of her trust in him and her trust in their relationship which has led him to doubt her commitment to the relationship at times.
"I can't imagine mine without you either," he squeezes her hand to accentuate his point. She is glad to hear those words coming from Matt on his own. She had to push him into telling her how he felt about her taking the job in Quantico. She has been scared to give everything to this relationship because she has felt at times that Matt has been holding back and not giving everything.
"Let's go into the living room," he suggests knowing it will be a long conversation. He stops in the kitchen to refill their wine glasses, thinking that liquid courage might just be an aid to the conversation.
"Ok, where were we?" Matt asks, not knowing how to get things back to the way they were, but wanting them there fast.
"Um," Em gathers her courage places her hands on top of Matt's. "I need you to understand something," she tells him. Matt nods looking into those soulful hazel eyes. "When you said that I'm a scared little girl, you weren't exactly wrong. I'm not good at letting people completely in. I've been scared of falling for you, scared of needing you, scared you'd leave just when I'd given all of myself to you, scared of losing you. Loving you is worth facing all of these fears.
I know you need me to trust you, and I do; maybe not the way that you need me to yet, but I want to. I want to try to give you whatever it is that you need from me," Emily shares letting him know that she is in this completely and will to do what it takes to make it work. "But, I also need the same from you then. I need you to trust completely in me. I need you to tell me what you are thinking and feeling. I think we've both grown up and been through situation where protecting ourselves had to take priority and we've kind of forgotten that there can be another person there that can help take on some of that burden. We've both been in situations where we have loved and cared about people to the fullest and been left behind hurting. I think you've been just as scared as I have to open up because the stuff that we haven't shared with each other is stuff that we haven't shared with anyone, and if we share it with each other then that means admitting that this relationship is as big and meaningful as it is. We've both held back at times out of fear of giving up too much and losing everything. But we've also taken turns pushing each other and this relationship to the next step because even though we're afraid of it, we want it. So what I'm trying to say is it's my turn to take us to the next step. I'm putting myself out there. I want to share everything with you and be completely open, but I need the same thing from you. I am not going to let my fears keep me from what I want and what I want is to love you," Emily pours her heart out hoping that all of her feelings are coming out somewhat coherently. Everything Emily is saying makes complete sense to Matt. He has held back from fear of getting in too deep with her.
"You're right. I'm scared to death. I've never felt like this," Matt admits referring to the fact that he's been in love before, but it's never been this big and this meaningful. "You're also right about both of us needing to share our feelings. I want to love you too. I'll do whatever it takes to make this work," he adds turning his hands over to hold hers. "I think we've taken an excellent step just now. What is your analysis," he teases hoping to get one of those smiles he coaxed out earlier in the night. No luck yet, as she is still in serious mode.
"Well, I've had a lot of time to think and analyze over the last few weeks (Matt gives her an "oh no" face here and she returns with a slight smile) and I think I've narrowed the problem down to sharing our feelings right when things are happening." Matt mulls it over and nods his agreement. He can think of a number of times where they've had a problem with something the other person has done or not done, and they have hinted around about it, but never just come out and talked about it as a problem, which has come back to bite them later.
"What happened with us Matt during that case? We've disagreed before," Emily brings up one of the old issues they need to work though.
"I was mad," he states simply, "and I thought you were too. I thought you were going to choose the job over me, so I broke it off. I was hurt and acted like a jerk."
"You weren't alone. I was mad that you were putting me in the position to choose between my job and you. I was also mad at you for not telling me exactly what you were planning. Once I realized how mad you were, I think I was just mad at you for being mad. I understand why you did what you did, but I was mad that you didn't understand why I did what I did. I was mad at you for not getting that," Emily tells him.
"I do get it," Matt assures her. "I was stupid that night. You wanted to talk about it and all I did was attack you. I wanted to take it back, but you'd already gone into defensive mode," Matt reminds her referring to the fact that she wouldn't pick up the phone and shut him down that next day at work only fueling his anger. "Let's remember for next time that the defensive, hurtful crap really doesn't work," he suggests.
"Yeah, that would be good," Emily agrees. "I never thought I could do such hurtful things. I feel awful about the date and Sloan's. I was just so mad at you and so hurt, I didn't know how to stand it or what to do. Using Sloan's was a childish and spiteful thing to get back at you and I'm sorry," Emily accepts Matt's apology and offers one of her own. "I never thought we'd be the people that did that sort of stuff to each other," she laments. "I thought we were too good of friends, and too close for that."
"I think we did it because we are so close. People who don't care about each other just walk away," Matt reasons reaching up and touching her cheek. She leans into his caress turning her head slightly to place a kiss on the inside of his wrist.
Matt admires the woman before him who is beautiful inside and out. He respects the integrity and dignity that has her apologizing to him, when he's the one who goaded her into the date in the first place. As she leans in to kiss him, he knows he's a damn lucky guy.
"I should have told you I cared," he tells her remembering her rant at him when she was trying to decide about Quantico, and the regret he felt earlier in the day when he heard her telling Tina today about not having worry about if "he" cared anymore. "I didn't realize you didn't know how much I care about you. I've always cared," he assures her initiating a succession of kisses that ends with her sprawled on top of him.
"What could we have done differently in that case?" Emily asks needing to analyze their feelings about the case. She doesn't want to ruin the moment, but she needs this sorted out.
"I don't know," Matt replies honestly. "I just know I was mad that you weren't with me. It felt like you hung me out to dry," he tells her calmly. His words tell her he was hurt, but his hand caressing her back tells her he's over it, or trying to be.
"You didn't even tell me what you were doing. I love that you wanted to help Nathan and take on the corrupt Senator, but for me to do my job well I had to stay focused on the hostages. As your girlfriend, I was with you; but as a negotiator and even as your partner, I wasn't. I couldn't do both so I chose to do my job. I hate it that my choice hurt you," Emily tells him holding his face in her hands. "But you knew when we became partners and when we got involved that I'm a follow the rules kind of girl," she adds defending her motives for continuing the case.
"I understand you were following rules and procedures. It's who you are and as frustrating as it is sometimes, I love that about you. I acted on my gut through that whole case, and during our talk afterward," he tells her rubbing her forearms. "Usually the balance works, but that night it just didn't. Maybe we need to split up the partnership," Matt thinks aloud not wanting to go there, but if it makes their personal relationship stronger he's willing to do it.
"Maybe," Em sighs. "We don't have to decide that tonight." She doesn't want to lose him as a partner at work, but if it means they are better partners at home then she is all for it. Right now she doesn't want to think about that. She's feeling comfortable about their relationship and she seems to have no control over her hands as they explore his chest, shoulders, neck, and hair; so she feels she might as well enjoy kissing him.
"I thought you were only coming over to talk?" Matt questions hungrily attacking her lips again before she can answer. He slides her between him and the couch and works one of his legs between hers. Her hands skim over his stomach, back, and grab his bottom pulling him closer as he tries to kiss every inch of her skin. He is thinking there are way too many clothes and not enough skin to kiss as their bodies meet in the middle.
"You do have ways of making me talk," she reminds him seductively. Her words and tone send a warm tingle through his body as his lips find the spot on her neck that makes her toes curl.
Her words and the tightness in his jeans are all the encouragement Matt needs pull her up and race to the bedroom with her on his heels. Once on the bed he proceeds to take it down a notch. She hadn't seemed that enthused with their fast and furious breakup sex in the trailer. He intends the make-up sex to be slow and sensuous and to leave a much better impression.
"Oh Matthew," Emily sighs his full name. She hardly ever uses it except for in moments of extreme playfulness, or if he's done something to really irritate her, or like now when he's left her completely breathless. She guides his head to her chest cherishing the feeling of being loved by him and connected to him completely.
"I take it make-up sex is better?" Matt teases still breathing heavily as he maneuvers onto his side and gently rolls her with him. He brings her lips to his, thumb caressing her chin as they kiss.
"Yeah," she whispers still trying to regain composure..
"Hey Matt?" Emily asks as she places kisses on his chest after they've both had a few minutes to recover.
"Yeah," he replies running a hand up her back.
"How many times have you been in love before?" she asks looking up at him.
Matt is quiet for a minute before answering, "Really in love, maybe twice. My high school girlfriend Sarah, she just got me. She knew me when my mom died. We were in middle school together, in the same classes. When we started dating in high school she remembered and she knew how to help. She helped me to live, to believe in people, to see the good in the world again. She knew what to do when I was angry at the world."
"What happened?" Emily asks quietly. Matt rolls to his side to face Em who had been listening intently on her side. He throws his leg over hers.
"After she miscarried we were both scared. We both wanted to go to school. Things weren't the same. We still hung out until the summer after graduation, but more as just friends. We went to different colleges and grew apart."
"I guess some people really are just meant to come into our lives to help us or love us for a short time," Emily comments.
"Yeah," Matt sighs loving how he gets to see Emily's insight into the world and how things work. She always knows how to make things make sense.
"And the other," Emily prompts trailing her fingertips along his arm.
"Janelle, a lawyer I met on a case for work. We dated, even lived together. In the end we had too many different interests and different life goals. We both changed too much or didn't change enough to make it work."
"When did you date Janelle?" Emily asks liking to have all the details.
"About two years in my late twenties," Matt replies.
"What about in between?" Em asks.
"Lots of high maintenance hot girly girls," Matt replies. "Wait, not lots, and not hot," he quickly backpedals at Emily's raised eyebrow.
"Your turn," Matt insists wanting to change the subject quickly. "Have you been in love before?"
"Once," Emily replies. "During grad school. His name was Brent. He was in med school. We dated for almost two years. We sort of fizzled out because of our schedules, and different values and goals too. It was a relief to both of our families who even though it was the 90s didn't approve of an interracial relationship."
"Was he good to you?" Matt asks needing to know for some reason.
"Yes," Emily replies not wanting to give away more than Matt really wants to know.
"Since then?" Matt asks putting an arm around her and pulling her closer.
"There've been people I've cared about, but no one I've really connected with or fallen in love with until now," she tells him as she raises her head so her lips can capture his.
"People?" Matt teases after the kiss.
"Men!" she exclaims swatting his shoulder, exasperated with his little fantasy that somewhere along the way she experimented. "So you've had your best relationships with smart women. That bodes well for me," Emily comments.
"Yours was with a smart guy, what does that say for me?" Matt asks with mock worry.
"Stop it," Emily scolds. "You are one of the smartest people I know."
"One of?" Matt questions.
"Well I did go to Princeton," she teases knowing she's in trouble as his fingers attack her sides right below her rib cage throwing her into a fit of laughter.
"Your first time?" Matt asks a few minutes later, his wandering hand coming to rest against her hip while his other hand supports his head as he lies on his side. Emily looks up at him from her back. "You really want to know?" she questions a bit leery.
"Yeah," Matt replies.
"Kurt, a guy from one of my psychology classes. He was 21 and really liked me. I was 22 and just wanted it over. I still feel bad about that He didn't have much experience and I had almost none so it was ok, not earth shattering. You?" she asks. Even though it's Matt, she's still embarrassed to share that she was 22.
"So did you at least like the guy?" Matt asks wishing that he could have been her first.
"Yeah, he was nice. We went on a few dates. I wasn't really into him. I think I fantasized that he was Tom Cruise or something. I just didn't want to be any more of a freak than I already was,"
"Hey, now who needs to stop?" Matt reprimands not liking when she talks about herself like that. "Why didn't you wait?" he asks not quite able to understand the back then Emily who wasn't the same self-confident, strong woman he knows and loves. The Emily he loves would have waited until her first time meant something, not caring what the rest of the world thought.
"What, like waited for you?" she teases.
"Yeah," he teases right back.
"Since I hurt Kurt, I haven't been able to have sex until I know that the relationship will mean something to me," she shares with Matt enlightening him to the fact that she knew from the beginning that their relationship would mean something to her.
"So you were….?" he questions to clarify.
"More than just attracted to you, I really, really liked you."
"I liked you too," he says kissing her on the nose.
"I know. You didn't tell me you were afraid of dogs," she teases and distracts him with a mind blowing kiss so he doesn't tickle her again. She doesn't distract him enough to keep him from growling, "not scared, aware," before kissing her again.
"Okay, your turn," she tells him curling an arm over his stomach.
"With Sarah, special, not earth shattering," Matt shares succinctly.
After thinking for a minute Matt asks, "So is using Kurt the worst thing you've ever done?"
Emily is a little surprised by the question, but answers right away, "No, it's something I said to Ally. This might take awhile. I'm going to start at the beginning," she warns him taking a deep breath.
"My mom and dad are good people," she begins, "but they were career orientated, and they felt like what was good for them was good for us. I grew up going only to museums, never an amusement park." Matt gives her a sympathetic look. "For some reason the kids chose Ally to pick on starting in elementary school all the way through. My parents kept saying it happens to all kids, just ignore it. Because I was her sister I got the teasing too. For awhile it was us against the world. We clung to each other, but being three years apart, we were never in the same school. At home though, we were inseparable. In high school Ally rebelled and started hanging out with the wrong people. She got into drugs, disappeared for days at a time, and when she did show up I seemed to be the only one who noticed the signs of whatever new drug she was on. She treated me like crap when she was around and then she left again, but every time she showed up I tried to help her. I think she might have also been abused. At 18 she barely went to school, was in and out of work and crappy apartments. My parents had kicked her out so they could pretend there were no problems. She showed up one day five months pregnant. My nephew Aaron was born on September 13th 1988. My parents let them move back in. Ally loved him enough to give up drugs and move back in. She watched him during the day and I watched him after school while Ally worked." Emily has become more and more chocked up as she shares the story and Matt knows that Emily's brother's kids are her only two nephews, so he is guessing this story doesn't end well. "Aaron was my world. He was my savior during my sophomore year, but at 11 months old Ally came home from work…" Emily can't finish as a tear hits Matt's arm. "The medical examiner said it was SIDS. Ally tailspinned back into drugs. I tried to help her, but every time I did, I ended up screwed. One night about a year and a half after Aaron died she was crying to me about Aaron saying how she lost a baby and how she was too miserable to get clean. I'd been trying everything I'd been learning in my psych classes with Ally. I got so mad at her for always leaving me, for not even trying, that I screamed at her that sometimes kids just die," the last part comes out as a sniffled whisper as tears stream down Emily's face. As he pulls her into a tight hug and lets her cry, he now knows how Emily learned that some people are only meant to be in their lives for a little while, and also how she is really good at telling what drugs their hostage takers are on over the phone. Matt remembers that he had wondered that day in the prison why Ally had said that about kids just dying to Emily and why it hurt Em so deeply.
"You're amazing," Matt tells her. "To have the strength to let Ally back in time after time."
"Last time I couldn't, even when it mattered so much," she reminds Matt sounding down on herself.
"Yeah, I get why now. I'm sorry I didn't then," Matt apologizes remembering he was rough on her for not telling him about Ally and for not being able to talk to Ally. His fingers gently massage the base of her neck.
"Just so you know, lying to you about Ally comes in a close second in the list of worst things I've done. That's the only thing I've ever lied to you about," she tells him knowing how hurt he was that she kept Ally from him especially when he asked her straight out if there was someone from her past that could hurt her.
"Good to know," he says feeling good that she hasn't kept anything else from him. He knows she partly did it to protect him from the fallout when everything came out and partly to protect herself.
"I still miss her. I miss what we had when we were little," Emily confesses.
"Maybe you could write to her, when you're ready," Matt suggests.
"What about you and Chris?" Emily tentatively brings up Matt's brother after a few minutes of quiet.
"I need ice cream for this one," Matt requests. "Hopefully it's not freezer burnt," he calls after her as he enjoys watching her naked form retreat into the kitchen.
She looks sexy as hell carrying a carton of ice cream, two spoons, and wearing nothing as she comes back into the bedroom.
"Non freezer burnt brownie fudge," she shares with him.
"Good," is his expert opinion after she feeds him the first bite.
After seeing how Matt responds to cold kisses on his lips, neck, and ear Emily gets a little distracted by ice cream antics and Matt is ready and willing to follow her. After their stomachs are full and their need to pleasure each other satisfied, they sit facing each other because it's early the next morning and they are getting tired, but Emily wants to know why Matt hasn't spoken to his brother in five years.
"Chris is nearly five years younger than me. He understood what was happening when my mom died, but yet he didn't. My dad took to Chris more than me. He was tougher like my dad and I was more like my mom. My dad didn't know what to do with me. When we were young Chris and I liked each other as much as any brother with that type of age difference can I suppose. After mom died, dad didn't really try to bring us all together as a family. I watched out for him, but we were never really close. I suppose I was jealous, like Ally is with you. Chris was into swimming and wrestling like my dad. They don't have the best relationship either, but they at least had that. After he finished college we started to form a bond. I was still at Simi Valley and he got a job with LAPD. We hung out, went to games, went downtown. Working the streets made him cynical right away, like my old man. He dated a friend of mine from the squad and she left him because he was so angry all the time."
"He never had a Sarah," Emily notes thinking besides his mom now Sarah is a person Emily would like to meet and thank for helping to make Matt the man he is today.
"One night we were both a little drunk and he started waling into me about not being there for him when we were kids and not helping my dad," Matt continues.
"You were twelve," Emily emphasizes sensing that he is down on himself about not being able to do better for his family.
"Yeah, but to Chris I was older. I should have been able to do something. After that it seemed we argued every time we were together. Whether it be dad's new girlfriend, how to cook burgers, or me telling him he was burning out in police work. The big fight came when Chris and my dad sold our childhood home without even considering me. We needed a break from each other. We couldn't agree on anything so we stopped trying. Neither of us has called for awhile and that time grew because both of us are too stubborn to make the first call."
"Do you love him?" Emily asks matter-of-factly.
"Of course, he's my brother," Matt responds.
"Then call him," Emily insists.
"That simple huh?" Matt asks.
"It is," she replies. "You only have one brother. In the grand scheme of things, we don't have a lot of time. You should make it count."
"Why do you have to be so damn smart?" Matt whines knowing she's right.
"You're angry with your dad too," she notes. He gives her the 'you're analyzing' look, but then fesses up, "I wish he was interested in my life. He only came to the one or two games a year that I invited him to. I had to remind him to come to my high school graduation. I know it sucks for him that he lost my mom, but I wish he would have realized what he still had. I wish it wasn't me always making the effort," Matt shares his deepest feelings about the way he grew up.
"I hear you on that one," Emily commiserates feeling the same thing with her parents a lot of the time. Emily has met Matt's dad a few times. Much like her own family gatherings, she could feel the tension between Matt and his dad, but she has observed some tender feelings from his dad too. "From what I've seen, I think he realizes what he's missed and maybe wants to reach out, but doesn't know how," Em gives Matt something to think about.
They continue discussing family, asking each other questions, and discovering more about the person they love until at about 3:15 a.m. Matt yawns mid-sentence, his eyelids droop closed and he is sound asleep. Emily smiles to herself ecstatic to be with Matt who she loves more than words can describe. As she rolls onto her side and curves her body to form right next to Matt's his arm goes instinctively around her holding her close as he sleeps.
The next morning a smile spreads across Emily's face as she comes into consciousness to the sound of music from the alarm-clock radio. The light sound of snoring and deadweight of an arm and leg tucking her in close to, and partly underneath, her sleeping partner alert her to the fact that he is still asleep. She's so happy to be in love with the slumbering, handsome man.
Matt awakes to soft kisses peppering his chest and shoulder and a hard erection down below that his beautiful girlfriend is already tending too. He presses her into the pillows kissing her deeply.
"Am I way ahead?" he asks as he makes his way toward her right breast, feeling like even though he woke up second he will be first if he doesn't catch her up. He maneuvers so he is out of her grasp for a minute.
"Nope," she replies taking his hand from the bed and guiding it south. She stops halfway, dropping his hand on her stomach with hers covering his as her back arches, she moans in pleasure, and her body instinctively turns in towards Matt's as his lips suckle her nipple and his tongue teases it. When she regains a little bit of thought she is even more desperate to finish her first intention and slides Matt's hand between her legs. He easily slips a finger inside her, then two, while his thumb gently rubs in circles. Just watching her respond to him makes Matt even more excited. He relishes in watching what each of his little movements do to her knowing that his turn will come soon.
"Feels… so… good," she pants as intensity starts to build and she trembles and squirms under his touch.
Her hand leaves his wrist and entwines in his hair bringing his lips to hers. The kiss brings her close, too close.
"Stop," she tells Matt breathlessly pushing him away.
"Why?" he asks his erection pressing against her thigh.
"I want you," she explains rolling him onto his back gently removing his hand as she does so. She positions herself above him and slides over him letting them both take the time to enjoy how good it feels to have him inside her. It's Emily's turn to watch what she can do to Matt as she plays with the pace and movements.
"Oh, ummm, ohhhh, "Matt groans as she quickens the pace and tightens around him. He slides his hand between them to help her along again. As she stops to lean down and kiss him, it takes everything in Matt's power not to flip them over and get the motion going again. As she rolls her hips against him, he is reminded he is waiting because this is going to be oh so good.
"Em," he breaths just because he is in awe of her and loves her. He places a hand behind her head and brings it back down to kiss her again. Matt raises the top half of his body to give them better access as the kiss deepens and his tongue delves into her mouth. Their bodies grind against each other needing more friction, more depth. Emily gently pushes Matt back down to the bed and as she moves again, Matt can't contain himself and thrusts up to meet her. She finds the right position and her pace quickens and her breathing becomes more strained. Matt uses his thumb and his body to give her all the pleasure he can. She gasps and whimpers as she gets closer. She tightens around him feeling the climax throughout her body, repeatedly moaning and sighing, "oh Matt, oh Maaattttt," as she rides the convulsions of intense pleasure.
"I love you Matt," she tells him affectionately before making sure he has a climax every bit as magnificent as hers.
"That was incredible," Matt sighs his hand caressing the thigh that rests on top of his as the hand of the arm under her head plays with her hair. "You need to call Cheryl and make up an excuse. I can't walk."
"You're better at dealing with Cheryl," Emily tries to pass the task back to him.
"I don't think that's true anymore," he responds.
"How about we call Lia, give her an excuse, and make her tell Cheryl."
"Now you're thinking," Matt agrees. "By the way, I love you too."
Even though neither of them wants to leave the bedroom, they know Cheryl will have their asses if they don't and Lia refused to lie for them.
"So where were you two?" Cheryl asks smiling as two of her favorite people enter her office looking guilty for missing the debriefing yet Cheryl doesn't miss that they can't stop glancing at each other and can't stop smiling.
"Car trouble," Matt tries.
"Yeah, right," Cheryl answers sarcastically, but happily amused.
"Solving a small crisis," Emily gives her best, somewhat truthful answer.
"Sure, Miss we're still broken up," Cheryl does her best Emily impression.
"We were," Emily defends. "We had a lot to figure out last night."
"And I'm assuming you did."
"Yup," Matt replies.
"Good, don't let it happen again, and there's still no getting married," she teases.
"I hear that love is in the air," Frank teases as Matt joins him downstairs at lunch.
"Lia tell Duff?" Matt asks not surprised when Frank nods.
"How long before those two hook up?" Frank asks.
"Em said that Lia mentioned something about waiting for Duff to grow up first," Matt replies.
"I hope Emily told her she's got a few more years to wait. Duff's not even 30," Frank comments.
"So you and Emily are really good then?" Frank asks after firing a few rounds.
"Yup," Matt replies.
"You going to marry her?" Frank asks half teasing half curious.
"Just shoot," is Matt's reply. He's not quite ready to go there yet. He just wants to enjoy being in love in this moment.