He was sitting on the floor and his look was focused on the wall. He wasn't trying to hide he was crying because he didn't care anymore, and I thought that was both brave and sad. I knelt and asked him if he was okay. I was expecting him to answer me with one of his sarcastic, painful commentaries, but he answered with a quite sad response, instead.
"I am not okay, I don't even remember when was the last time I was happy. My eyes are so used to crying that my tears don't fall anymore, and my lips don't even know how to smile. What is wrong with me? Why does everyone hate me? I guess they are just right and I'm such a horrible person that I shouldn't exist."
I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and hug him and kiss him so much that he would forget all those stupid things people had filled into his head, but I couldn´t. Not when he was so weak, not when he wasn't ready. That was not the time to talk about my feelings, but about how incredible he was.
"Sherlock, you are the most brilliant person I have ever met. And yes, I know Mycroft, but he isn't like you. I thought you knew how intelligent you are, isn't that the reason why you always act so cocky?"
He turned around and gave me a sad look.
"Perhaps you think I'm brilliant because, compared to you, I am a genius."
I sighed and rolled my eyes. Why couldn't he be nice for once?
"Sherlock, I am trying to help you. Why are you always so cruel to me? You make me want to leave this room and never come back again."
"No, please, don't go. I...don't know what to say, but I don't want you to go. Please, John."
I smiled. He wanted me to stay, who could have guessed that?
"Okay, I won't go. But you have to promise you won't be rude and won't be so tough to yourself. You are intelligent, brave, handsome, tall and funny, don't you see?"
And he smiled in that spontaneous way, that kind of smile he gave me sometimes and never expected. That kind of smile that made me understand once more why I was so in love with that high-functioning sociopath.