Title: Wasn't
Supposed To 1/1
By: Becky
Pairings: Implied Sirius/James,
unrequited Sirius/Harry
A/N: This story was originally written in
2003. Also, is a drabble in response to write slash that began with
the sentence, "It wasn't supposed to be this way."
Disclaimer:
This story is inspired by characters and situations belonging to JK
Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, and any and all related
entities. I am not claiming ownership nor am I making any money from
this piece of fiction. However, the story itself is a work of my
imagination. Don't steal.
--
It wasn't supposed to be this way. Harry was his godson. Harry was not James. Sirius liked to tell himself that he never would have begun entertaining the thoughts if it hadn't been for Molly Weasley. After all, she'd been the one to point out what he'd been pretending to be to blind to see. And she was right. On some level, perhaps, he had subconsciously confused Harry with his father. But only slightly, and only when he wasn't strong enough to make the distinction. Surely, he didn't honestly believe that Harry and James were interchangeable.
Why then, did Sirius watch his godson - the boy that he had sworn he would love and protect as he would have his own child - why did he watch him nervously lick his lips and wonder if he kissed like his father had? Why then, did he wonder if Harry knew how to touch, lick, nibble just the right spots? It wasn't supposed to be this way, but that was how he had felt with James, as well. He and James were never supposed to be more than friends, never supposed to know each other as intimately as they had.
Sirius should not have memories of desire filling hazel eyes, nor should he entertain the thoughts of how the same desire would look, surrounded by green. Harry was a child. An old soul, perhaps. A child that had been forced to grow up far too quickly, yes. But a child nevertheless. And Sirius was the closest thing Harry had to a father. He wasn't supposed to be entertaining thoughts of Harry writhing beneath him, wasn't supposed to be wondering if Harry's voice grew husky just before release. It wasn't natural, it wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be this way, but Sirius couldn't help himself.