It's All About the Name

by

Kelsey

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own, would love to, but don't.

Author's Note: My mother once mentioned that with a name like Lupin, there should have been at least some werewolves in Remus's past. So, this is the plotbunny sprung from that idle mention.

Summary: The story of how Remus Lupin went from the surname 'like a wolf,' to being one.

Rating: G/PG

As long as he could remember, Grandma and Grandpa's house was a safe haven. A warm place with cookies and a nice smell and a homey feeling, and there was always a lap for Remus to snuggle in. Grandma showed him how to make cookies and knead bread dough and set the oven, and told him to never use the kitchen equipment without a grownup around. And Grandpa would play with model airplanes and trains, and bought a special little tool set so that Remus could help with the gardening.

So, when Grandma died, Remus was sad. He cried, and he didn't understand why she wasn't coming back, and he refused his parents' hugs. He would accept only his Grandpa's touch for days, because Grandpa only held him and cried with him; he didn't try to tell him it was all okay, when it obviously wasn't.

It took a while, but Remus was young, and he moved on. Grandma became more of a shadow in the back of his mind than a memory. But Grandpa, Grandpa was becoming a shadow, too, only he was still solid, just wasting away. And Mum was worried about him all the time, always taking Remus to go visit. Remus loved visiting, but he started to worry about Grandpa, too, when he stopped letting Remus help in the garden, and showed little interest in the model planes and trains they had previously had so much fun with.

One day, his mother told him he was going to move into the attic because Grandpa was coming to live with them. Remus was excited and a little scared, because the attic was creepy, but his mum had explained how Grandpa couldn't climb the stairs as easily as he used to be able to, and Remus had willingly ceded his room.

When Grandpa moved in, there was some adjusting to be done-- sometimes Grandpa was napping when Remus was trying to play, and his parents would hush him and get angry, and then Remus would be even louder, but mostly, they all got along fine. Remus's dad worked all week, but Remus was not-quite old enough for primary school, and his mum wasn't going back to work until the fall, when he would be going to kindergarten. So the three of them--he, his mum and his grandpa-- went on walks and played together and did the shopping and other errands.

There were days when Grandpa was weak and tired, and once Remus had even seen bloody scratches all over his grandfather's face. He had gone to his mother, almost crying with worry, and she had sat him down and explained that Grandpa had a sickness that didn't go away, but he would be alright. It was bad sometimes, and he would never get over it, but it wouldn't kill him.

That his grandfather would never get well made Remus sad, but he was happy he wasn't going to die, and he did his best to help out with giving his grandfather soup and crackers and sitting by him to keep him company when he was especially weak. This earned him lots of smiles and kisses on the forehead, and his mum was right-- Grandpa always did get better.

On August 25th of that summer, Remus turned five. Grandpa was having a bad day-- he was tired and pale, but he sat in the shade and watched while Remus frolicked with neighborhood children and ate birthday cake and blew out his candles. It was a good birthday.

That night, Grandpa went out, and Mum followed him. This happened sometimes, and while they were gone, Dad helped Remus get ready for bed. A few minutes later, Mum came back in and kissed him goodnight. Remus asked where Grandpa was, but Mum said he was busy and said to say goodnight for him, and Remus didn't question. This happened sometimes, too. Grandpa would be out and busy, and give his kiss through Mum or Dad.

Too excited from his birthday party and all the cake and ice cream he'd consumed, Remus lay awake in bed for nearly an hour. Finally, he was too fidgety to stay still at all, and he climbed out of bed, tiptoeing from his room in nothing but his soft pajamas.

He went first to his parents' room. They were both asleep, and Dad was snoring a little. Remus put a hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't make noise and giggled, then tiptoed away to see if Grandpa was still awake. Sometimes he stayed up later than Mum and Dad, and he was always willing to let Remus sit with him until he felt sleepy.

But Grandpa's door was open and his bed was empty. Frowning a little, Remus wondered why Grandpa hadn't gone to bed, but it might not be that late, he reasoned. Sometimes grownups stayed up long past his own bedtime, he knew. So he walked downstairs, careful not to trip on anything and make noise. There was nobody downstairs, either, though.

Remus frowned again. Maybe Grandpa was outside? He opened the kitchen door and stepped out. It was August, and warm, and he moved across the lawn in his bare feet to the only building in their yard-- a small, sturdy shed with no windows and two big padlocks on the door. Sometimes he'd seen Grandpa go in there-- maybe that was where he was now.

"Grandpa?" He asked softly. There was no answer.

Stepping closer, Remus pressed close against the door and repeated himself. "Grandpa?"

There was a faint growling sound that sent shivers down his spine. "Grandpa?!" Another growl. Everything sounded muffled, like there was a silencing charm on the shed, but Remus pressed his ear in close, and he could hear faint pained yelps and growls.

Panicking, he began to claw at the door. His grandpa was in there! And he was hurt, or sick again! Grandpa got sick a lot, maybe he'd gotten sick in the shed and nobody knew! Remus had to help him.

He wasn't supposed to know, he didn't think, but Remus knew that the keys to the padlocks-- there were two different ones-- were inside, on top of the icebox. He rushed back inside, no longer taking care to be quiet, and climbed onto the counter. He stood up and his head nearly brushed the ceiling, but he could reach the keys. He grabbed them.

Then he remembered that his Mum always locked the shed with her wand. His heart sank, but he set his jaw determinedly. He was going to be a wizard, too. He could use Mum's wand. Once, he'd made sparks come out of it when he was little. Mum had told him not to ever, ever play with it, after that, but this wasn't playing. This was helping Grandpa.

Mum and Dad kept their wands on their bedside tables. He considered waiting to wake them up, but they were both heavy sleepers. It would take a long time, and Grandpa could get hurt while he was busy. So he took his mother's wand, and the keys to the padlocks, and rushed back outside.

Remus quickly unlocked the bottom padlock, having watched his mother enough that he knew which key went in it, and how to do it. The second padlock took a minute more, because it was over his head and harder to work on, but he got it open, too. Then he pulled on the door, but as he had thought, it was locked with magic. Taking out his mother's wand, he pointed at the door, but he didn't know what to do. He'd never heard his mother unlock the door with her wand before; she always sent him away before she did that.

Remus almost started to cry, but he forced himself not to. Grandpa was waiting for his help, and so he squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated very hard on getting the door to the shed open.

Suddenly, something that felt warm and strong ran through his body and burst into the wand. Remus opened his eyes just in time to see a golden light shoot from the tip into the doorknob, and hear something click.

Tentatively, he reached out and tried to turn the knob. It turned! Grinning with his triumph, Remus twisted the knob hurriedly and pulled the door open. "Grandpa! Grandpa, it's Rem--"

Something huge bowled him over.

Too startled to cry out, Remus fell onto the grass on his rear, rather gracelessly. The huge something that had knocked him over was now behind him, as it had been its leap over him that had knocked Remus down. Rubbing his behind and shaking with fear, Remus turned to see what it could possibly be. He held his mother's wand clutched firmly in his hand, pointed defensively out in front of him.

As soon as he turned, Remus saw what had knocked him over. The huge creature was standing stock-still, ears pricked forward, eyes watching his every movement, lips pulled back slightly and showing impressive fangs. Its eyes were golden-brown and as it shifted its weight, it appeared stiff, as if it was an older animal. Remus wanted to look back into the shed to see what it had done to his grandpa, but his heart was cold at the thought of what he might find, and he couldn't turn his back on the wolf anyway.

For a moment, they just stood, looking at each other. Remus was trembling, but he forced himself to hold the wand out in front of himself and not to close his eyes. His mum and dad were too far away to get there soon enough-- he knew it was just him and the wolf.

And then the wolf took a slow step forward. And then another, and then he crouched on its back legs to spring, and Remus turned and ran.

He only made it five or six steps when the wolf leapt on him from behind and knocked him down. The air was knocked out of him, and again he couldn't cry out. An enormous paw turned him over, and for that moment he could have tried to run, but he didn't have enough breath to move.

The wolf opened its jaws, slathering with excitement, and went for Remus' throat.

He screamed.

*********

Inside the house, Lauren and Ralph Lupin sat up instantly at the piercing scream from outside. Something was deadly wrong. Without taking a second to put on shoes or robes, they grabbed for their wands and leapt out of bed. "Ralph!"

"What?" He was tensed and ready to run.

"My wand's gone."

Ralph took off at a run, with Lauren on his heels.

Downstairs, their hearts in their throats, they headed for the backyard. When they saw the open kitchen door, Lauren thought she might be sick. Remus. What had happened to Remus? She screamed her baby's name as they dashed through the house in pursuit of the source of that terrified sound.

Ralph was through the back door first, and his face blanched death-white at the sight that greeted him. Then he put on an extra burst of speed, raising his wand in front of him, and started to shout. "Stupefy! Stupefy! STUPEFY!"

*********

Twisting, Remus moved just as the wolf's jaws closed on him. What would have been a killing bite instead bit into his shoulder, and pierced his tender young flesh. Screaming in pain, he struggled, but the wolf did not let go, and his tiny weight was hardly any leverage against the enormous creature.

From somewhere that sounded far away, he heard people, calling his name in high, worried voices. His mum and dad! Hopes rising again, he struggled harder. His mum and dad had always kept him safe before-- they could do anything, he was sure. They would get this thing off of him, and heal his shoulder and everything would be okay.

With that certainty in his soul, he struggled harder. The wolf, irritated that his prey hadn't ceased its struggles or died yet, let go to get a better grip. Remus took that instant to push himself off the ground, but the jaws snapped out again, towards his neck, and this time Remus wouldn't be fast enough to escape them...

His father's voice shouted out something, and the wolf faltered. Sounding panicked, the word was repeated twice again, each time with growing intensity and volume. On the second time, the wolf's eyes rolled back into its head, and on the third, its eyelids closed, and it collapsed onto Remus's small body.

The weight being so much that he could hardly breathe, Remus began to struggle again, and then his father was at his side, lifting and heaving the gigantic creature off of him, and his mother was right behind him, tears running down her cheeks as she crouched next to Remus on the lawn. "Oh, god," she cried. "Remus?"

His shoulder was painful, and he was a little dizzy. There was a puddle of blood on the lawn where he was lying, and his mother pulled off her sleeping shirt and pressed it against the bite on his shoulder. He squirmed away from the added pain, and she grabbed her wand from the ground where it lay, just as his father crouched down on his other side and looked at him with an expression Remus had never seen before. Then, when he saw Remus was alive, relief flooded his features, and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Get him back in the shed," his mother ordered, cocking her head, and his father nodded quickly before rising. Remus could sort of see him drag the insensate wolf into the shed, then exit and quickly lock it behind him with his wand and the padlocks. Meanwhile, his mother had cast several spells on him, but he didn't feel like anything had changed.

"Lauren?" His father reappeared over his mother's shoulder, and she glanced up, her expression tight.

"Nothing."

He nodded, then gave her a little push, and she moved out of the way so that he could gather Remus in his arms. Then his father ran inside, towards the fireplace. Remus could see his mother right behind them, over his father's shoulder, but he was getting dizzier, and the world was closing in. The last thing he remembered before everything went black was the shout of "St. Mungo's!" and the strange rushing of the Floo network.

*********

When he awoke, Remus was in-between white cotton sheets in what appeared to be a hospital, and didn't quite remember what had happened, immediately. His father was sitting next to him, reading the Daily Prophet, but he didn't see his mother. He shifted experimentally, and winced. "Ow."

His father dropped the paper. "Remus?" He leaned over.

"What happened? Is Grandpa okay?"

At those words, his father's expression went tight. "Grandpa's fine. The wolf-- do you remember the wolf?"

Remus did indeed remember the wolf. "Yeah."

"It bit you. The doctors can't heal your shoulder, but it will heal on its own. You're gonna be fine."

There were tears in his father's eyes as he spoke, and Remus wasn't quite sure he believed him.

"Where's Mum?" He asked, his little voice trembling.

"Right outside. Do you want me to go get her?"

Remus nodded, and his father disappeared for a moment. Then there were hurried footsteps on the floor outside, and the door burst open. "Remus!" His mum was smiling, but her expression was marred by tears, too. She hugged him carefully, but he still winced when she accidentally pulled at the wound.

"You're going to be okay, Remus," she said, brushing a piece of his hair from his face. "Your father told you that, right?" Her blue eyes were sincere, and he nodded, feeling more confident in her than when his father had said it.

Leaning back down, she gathered him to her again. "Oh, Remus, I'm so glad you're okay..."

Remus could see his father's face over her shoulder, and on it was the oddest expression he'd ever seen.

*********

It had been five days before Remus could go home. The wound couldn't be healed magically, but they gave him blood-replenishing potions and he'd felt much better immediately after, so it had been a struggle finding enough to do during those five days.

Finally, he was given orders not to run around or do anything strenuous (he wasn't quite sure what that meant), and allowed to go home, held in his mother's arms on the way through the Floo.

Grandpa hadn't come to see him in the hospital, and Remus had worried about this, even though his parents had sworn that he was fine. So when they stepped out of the fireplace and Grandpa was there to meet them, Remus dashed from his mother's arms to his grandfather, and wrapped thin arms tightly around the older man. "You're okay!"

His grandfather looked pale and wan, and almost seemed to shrink from Remus's touch. "Yes, Remus, I'm fine." He didn't smile.

Confused by this seemingly new person, Remus took a step back, into his mother. She put her hand on his un-injured shoulder, and led him to the couch. Grandpa sat down heavily in the chair behind him, and as soon as Remus's father stepped from the fireplace, he sat down on the couch, a few feet from Remus.

"Remus, we need to talk about that night."

Remus nodded. "What happened? How did the wolf get into the shed? And why is Grandpa okay?" No one had told him anything beyond that Grandpa was fine, and he would be too, and he was dying of curiosity.

His mother took a deep breath, then looked him in the eye. "Remus... that wolf was your grandfather."

Was... his grandfather? Remus searched his memory of stories and lore, and finally found something that fit. "Grandpa's a werewolf?" He asked in wide-eyed surprise.

His mother nodded. "Yes." She took another deep breath. "And now you are, too."

Remus recoiled. From his other side, his father put a hand on his shoulder, and his mother looked down at him with pity in her eyes. "I'm a werewolf too?" He asked, disbelieving, and then when his mother nodded seriously again, he began to cry.

"But I don't want to be bad!" He wailed, his mind recalling all of the things the stories had said about werewolves.

Suddenly, his grandfather was kneeling on the floor in front of him and gripping his flailing hands. Despite what he'd been told, his young mind hadn't quite made enough of a connection to be afraid of the man sitting before him, and Remus was terrified of the idea of werewolves, he wasn't scared of his grandfather. "Remus, I'm so sorry." There were tears in the older man's eyes, and he was shaking slightly.

Pushing aside his fear at what he might have become for anger, Remus lashed out. Smacking his grandfather with a tiny booted foot, he struggled free from his parents and raced to the staircase. "I hate you!" He screamed at his grandfather. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" He turned and dashed up the staircase, neglecting to notice the three adults, all filled with different mixes of conflicting emotions, begin to weep silently.

*********

For the next week, his grandfather avoided Remus, which was fine with him. His mother and father argued in low tones when they thought he wasn't listening, often glancing in his direction, but he never could hear what they were talking about.

Twelve days after the incident, his grandfather moved out. When Remus was older, he would learn that he had wanted to move out the day the incident had occurred, but his daughter had insisted he stay. Eventually, though, tag-teamed as she was by her husband and father, she capitulated and Remus's grandpa left the house. Remus didn't know it at the time, but he would never see the man again.

As for the first transformations, Remus made them in a large wire crate with reinforcing and silencing spells on it, in the Lupins' living room. Every transformation for a year he tore open the bite scar, and bit at himself when his wolf-mind realized he couldn't get to his tasty-smelling parents. So, as much as they hated to, they moved him into the shed where his grandfather had made the changes. He still tore at himself, but not nearly as much, and they no longer had to worry about him dying from self-inflicted wounds.

He didn't go to school that fall; instead his mother stayed home permanently to teach him what he needed to know. For the first time he knew hate-- their neighbors had worked out what had happened somehow, he didn't know how, and the youngest child (a first-year at Hogwarts) had spit at his feet while the rest of the family whispered and glared. Remus hadn't cried; instead he had retreated into his shell even further, watching but not participating in life as often as possible.

There were other hardships brought of his change. His parents grew farther and farther apart-- young though he was, even he could sense it. He didn't know that the trauma of his own attack had caused his mother to lose a pregnancy, or that his parents still argued about whether the attack was his grandfather's fault or not. All he knew was that two people who had once loved each other deeply now snapped and stormed and sometimes didn't come home at night.

And from the time he was seven years old and had idly mentioned it, he had been prepared not to go to Hogwarts. They wouldn't take him, he was told. So, his lifelong goal and hope gone, he buried himself in his books and tried to learn everything he could without going to school.

But one day, his life took a turn for the better when Albus Dumbledore showed up in his fireplace six days before his eleventh birthday. Having learned his lessons the hard way, Remus held it all inside of him, not allowing any of his excitement to show, but he was beyond ecstatic at the headmaster's decision to accept him.

Of course, he was also terrified that somebody might find out about what he was, but overall, Remus could only think it was an omen of a good life to come, that somehow, the fates had brought everything together to let him realize his lifelong dream.

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