South Park: Roswell Revisited

by TheCrazyPerson44

Stan and Cartman find a crashed UFO in the woods with Uncle Jimbo. It even has a dead alien in it. But this does not interest them as much as a certain prospect. In-progress.

It was a dark and stormy night in South Park...

Uncle Jimbo, Stan, and Cartman were in the park.
"You know guys, it's nights like these that bring me back to Roswell New Mexico, when the 509th Group found a really important crashed toy weather balloon and pretended it was a flying saucer to cover it up" said Jimbo, with a prideful smug look.
"Yeah, it's nights like these that I piss my pants" said Eric. Suddenly, Uncle Jimbo was gone.
"Where'd Uncle Jimbo go?" asked Stan.
"I dunno, but it sure is scary" said Eric, pulling out his flashlight.
"I hope Scuzzlebutt isn't around these parts" said Stan.
"What's that?" asked a flashlight waving Eric Cartman in the pitch black woods.
"What's whaT?" asked Stan. Eric flashed the light in the direction of what he saw. There, on the ground, was a crashed UFO, complete with a dead gray alien within it.
"Woah, that's a disc of some sort" said Stan.
"Yeah, dude. Gonna be totally freakin' awesome in there" said Eric.

The two of them went inside...

"What is this place?" asked Stan. "The controls say this place can send you through time. Koooo!" said Eric, in awe-struck wonder. The dead alien leaned on his shoulder, annoying him to tears.
"God damn it, Gus. I'm busy trying to figure out how this time machine works" said Eric. "Get off of me!"
"Say Eric, if it does work what do you wanna do?" asked Stan.
"Let's go back to Roswell and see if UFO's and aliens are real" said Eric.
"Good idea" replied Stan earnestly. Then, suddenly, the date on the scanner read 1947, July.
"Oh my god, I hope I can steer this properly into the wormhole. Damn it, Gus, get off of me, I'm trying to go back in time to find out about if aliens are real, bitch!" said Eric.
"Wait, what is Gus anyway?" asked Stan.
"If it's not Roswell, it's not aliens, dude" said Eric.
"Say Eric, what if it was your trapper keeper that crashed in Roswell? What if it can disguise itself as a Projet Mogul weather balloon?" asked Stan.
"Now you're just being crazy dude" replied Eric, with a smug look.
"What if Roswell was a weather balloon with crash test dummies, AND shaved monkeys, midgets with enlarged heads, AND dead aliens in it?" asked Stan.
"Woah, dude, no way in hell. What if it was a spaceship that somehow ran on balsa wood and aluminum foil? Sweeet!" said Eric.

WOOSH! To be continued