Ok, this is slightly blasphemous and based on "Strictly Ballroom". We came up with the idea in English (because we're studying it for English) because we were trying to see what other words fit instead of Ballroom. And then this was born. It's not entirely accurate as far as Catholicism goes, but it entertained us. Enjoy.

~ The Scourge

"speech"

'thoughts'

Strictly Catholicism

~Sister Helen POV~

Helen sniffed dramatically.

"I just don't know what happened. Duo was always such a good boy; he's a champion! He was going straight to the all state finals."

She dabbed a tissue to her eye and shook her head melodramatically.

"This was his year, I just don't understand."

~Tsuberov, Head of the Catholic Corporation POV~

"You see, what we have here is a breach of rules, called by the more experienced 'Loud mouthed off' where a person is over-talked by a fellow competitor and is forced to take drastic measures. Unfortunately for Duo, he went too far."

Tsuberov glared in the red light at the camera.

"And as a member of Priests of Regulated Education In Sermon Training he should be thoroughly disgusted with his actions."

The reporter scratched her head with the tip of her pencil thoughtfully.

"Could you please elaborate on the atrocity, what exactly did he do?"

Tsuberovs face crinkled, his brow furrowed deep into his forehead in anger.

"What didn't he do?!" He thundered.

The reporter politely shifted her chair out of range of Tsuberov, discreetly drying her face.

"I'll tell you exactly what he did!"

~Sister Helen POV~

"He ruined his chances!"

Father Maxwell meekly patted the wailing woman on the shoulder, who promptly smacked his hand off.

"You never cared Max, you always put your wild seminary stories in his head and now he's thrown his life away."

Father Maxwell sat back on the couch away from the hissing woman.

"I'm sorry Dear."

She glared at him one final time before plastering a woeful expression on her face and turned to the reporter.

"If only that boy listened, we all said it was too high but, but-"

Sister Helen burst into theatrical tears again. Father Maxwell sighed.

~Heero POV~

"Does it make you uncomfortable that your cassock looks like a dress?"

"…………"

He glared with all his might at the woman, small beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. Did reporters have some kind of immunity against these things? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Time for the Yuy death-glare.

*Flashback*

"Our father who art in Heaven, hallowed…"

Duo raised an eyebrow angrily at the competitor beside him who was booming the prayer at the judges.

'Fine then, if he thinks he can over talk me…' "… HALLOWED BE THY NAME! THY KNIGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE – "

He scowled as the priest beside him reached for a small microphone and smirked at Duo as his voice drowned the braided priest out.

'Oh, you did not just do that! I can't believe you done that!'  "Hilde, swing the incense."

The altar-server looked up at him. "What?!"

"Do it! Swing the incense!"

"But it's not time Duo, it's too early for it!"

"Then if you're not gonna do it pass it over."

"No, Duo! Stop it!"

She shoved the incense out of his reach.

"I'm raising the chalice…"

Hilde smiled in relief. Raising the chalice wasn't too abnormal. Infact, it was considered quite normal.

"…all the way."

"All the way?! What, are you crazy?!"

A crazed grin answered her question. She grabbed on to his arm as he began raising  the chalice, fighting for both their dignity. But she lost out to his strength. Hilde watched in horror as her partner held his arms over his head, parading the glittering object with triumph.

"…ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!!"

The judges gasped at the young priest, all looking to the head of the panel in shock. Tsuberov was foaming at the mouth. A hush descended the crowd, some elderly woman fainting from the heightened tension as Tsuberov stood up and pointed a finger at Duo.

"FATHER MAXWELL! GET OUT OF MY BUILDING NOW!!"

Another priest quietly moved out of Tsuberovs way, slowly using his vestments to dry his face.

*End flashback*

~Heero POV~

"…………" 'Almost got her.'

"Do you ever get drunk on the alter wine?"

Heero increased the intensity…

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