Title: Eezo

Fandom: Mass Effect

Characters/Pairings: Miranda Lawson, Jack; Jackanda

Rating: K+

Summary: Miranda discovers Jack has a pet.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect is not mine.

A/N: written for a 'send me a pairing and a line of dialogue and i'll write you something happy/light-hearted' thing from tumblr. Prompt: "Wait right there, don't move!" + Jack/Miranda

Post-Reaper War, they live happily ever after.


Her dream suddenly ends, disrupted by an irritating feeling of someone looking at her. Miranda opens her eyes and blinks in confusion. She sits up, scratching her head as she realises where she is. This is definitely Jack's bedroom, she can hear her breathing. Miranda looks to the left. Jack is sleeping soundly, her lips slightly parted.

The feeling of someone looking at her doesn't disappear, so Miranda turns her head to the right to check if someone has perhaps come here to disturb her sleep for whatever reason.

She gasps, eyes open wide, realising it's not someone but something looking at her.

It's a creature. A varren. A red varren that's sitting on the floor in the middle of Jack's bedroom. And it's staring right at her.

Miranda Lawson has seen many unusual things in her life. After all, she's been hanging out with Shepard for a longer while, travelling to different planets, doing all sorts of things (like going through the Omega 4 Relay and nearly dying fighting the Collectors, for example). She's quite used to weird. One could say that weird and unusual is what she considers normal.

She did not, however, expect to see a varren staring at her with something like surprise and curiosity in its big eyes. Even in her wildest dreams. The animal is just sitting by the bed, watching her. Miranda swallows a scream that nearly escapes from her lips, and takes a calming breath.

Her first thought is that the creature is merely a construct of her imagination. She goes as far as to pinch herself just to check if she's still dreaming. No, it's not a dream, and now that she thinks about it, she can smell this very real animal. Well, now she knows how a varren smells like.

Paralyzed with fear that's coming from somewhere deep within her, Miranda is afraid to move. She's a powerful biotic, yet there's something in the way that this creature looks at her that makes her terrified.

Minutes pass. The varren doesn't move, resembling a statue. Unfortunately it's a living, breathing creature ready to attack her any second. She doesn't want to think how it got here, she only wants to do something so it stops staring at her.

Slowly, Miranda moves her hand to touch Jack and shake her gently.

"Jack..." she whispers, looking into the varren's eyes. Who knows, if she looks away it may pounce.

The woman mumbles something. How can she sleep when there's a dangerous animal nearby?!

"Jack..." Miranda tries again. She takes a deep breath to say a very ridiculous sentence that just happens to be true. "There's a varren in your bedroom."

"Whaa– "

"There's a varren," Miranda hisses, not breaking the eye contact. "In. Your. Bedroom."

"What?!"

Jack jumps out of the bed so suddenly Miranda nearly falls on the floor.

"Eezo!"

Her reaction is drastically different than what Miranda has in mind. Jack kneels down by the creature, and just when Miranda expects it to attack, Jack starts petting it as if it was her dog. And it looks genuinely happy to see her.

Miranda blinks. Is she having one of those oddly realistic dreams..?

"You're back! You scared me, you little devil. Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?"

Miranda gathers whatever's left of her sanity, and asks, "Could you, please, explain what this varren is doing in your apartment..?"

"This is Eezo. He's my pet. I teach him tricks. He's such a clever boy. Oh, yes you are! Yes, you are!"

Seeing Jack scratching the varren under his jaw, Miranda rolls her eyes. Somehow it's not surprising that Jack treats this wild, dangerous animal like every normal person treats a dog. Dogs or varrens – apparently there's no difference.

"I introduced him to Shepard the other day, and let me tell you, they both had so much fun."

"You told Shepard that you have a pet varren, but didn't think you should also tell your– " Miranda stops before carefully choosing the next word. They are in a relationship, the problem is that they never talk about it. "That you should also tell me?"

"I thought I lost him! One day I forgot to lock the door, and he left. I was worried something bad happened to him. This is not the best place for a varren."

"You think?!" Miranda can hardly recognise her high–pitched voice. Truth to be told, she has trouble believing she's even having this conversation.

"You wanna go for a walk, Eezo?" Jack asks with a wide smile.

The creature opens his mouth to reveal a set of sharp teeth that can rip someone into pieces in about ten seconds.

"Oh, look, he's smiling!"

He's... not... smiling..! Miranda wants to scream.

For the first time in her life, Miranda Lawson thinks that drinking ryncol would be a good idea. In this situation it's probably the one and only thing that could help her now.

"I'll go get dressed," Jack looks up at Miranda. "Wait right there, don't move! He may bite if you make sudden movements, he thinks you're gonna attack him or something. He still has to learn to trust humans."

Miranda can only nod as Jack leaves the room. She glances back at the varren. A shiver runs down her spine; the animal looks at her the way he most likely looks at his next prey.

Jack has a pet varren. Life is certainly full of surprises.

They can avoid talking about their relationship as much as they want, but the second Jack gets back, and once Miranda calms down enough to formulate rational arguments, they are going to have a serious talk about keeping a pet.