Where The Heart Is
A Stargate SG-1 Fanfic
By Sarah
July 1st, 2003
Category: Episode-Related,
Vignette
Season: One
Episode: Children Of The Gods
Spoilers: the movie, CotG,
Cold Lazarus, Family, Secrets, Seth, Jolinar's Memories, Threshold
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Post-CotG. Members of SG-1 contemplate
"home". Multiple POV.
Author's Notes: Thanks to my
beta-readers, Babs, Barb, NightSpring, Sharon, and UB, for helping me grow in
confidence and develop as a writer. I
couldn't do this without you. *big
hugs* Thanks, also, to Ann, Anne, Dax,
Fiona, GSis, Jill, Judy, Karen, Lo, Madeleine, Marcia, Meg, Riz, Rowe, Sally,
Sam, Sanna, and Tiv for encouraging me through countless hugs, uplifting words,
and steady advice. Love you all to pieces. *group bear hug*
DISCLAIMER
Stargate SG-1 and all
the characters, etc., are the property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,
Showtime, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions, Sci-Fi Channel
and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership.
No copyright infringement intended.
TEAL'C
Quiet room. Dark walls
surrounding. Hard as rock, cool to the
touch. Faint light flickers through a
mesh in the door. Voices outside filter
in sometimes. Curt, brisk,
impersonal. Smaller lights inside on
the walls, burning softly against the dark. The familiar shape of a table and a
bed, two squares on four legs. A
stranger sight low on the wall, off-white and glistening, with silver knobs and
an open bowl.
All alone yet an overwhelming presence presses in. Cross-legged, sitting on the bed. Head up and eyes open.
Staring out the harsh window of the door. Others pass by that window, eyes peering in. The tip of an Earth weapon appearing. Mistrust and warnings. So far removed from the dust and gold of
home.
Sitting silently, breathing deep. Calm
to the eye. A bronze sculpture in the
dark. Inside himself, he stills the
swelling sense of loss. Honor lost,
pride affronted, heart aching, he steels himself with the strength of his
conviction.
Hope is near yet hesitant. Duty has
become chaos. Home is nowhere. Through the sweep of pain, the past swirls
through his mind's eye. False
gods. Fallible. Frail.
Arrogant. Cruel. Cries of humans, in death and
captivity. Homes in flames, towns
destroyed. Bodies at his feet. A wife's questioning voice. A boy's worshipful eyes. A mentor, weary of the world, risking all to
teach truth.
The serpent within shudders and sighs.
An erotic delight, those images, the terror they've brought. He takes a breath and stills his mind. The images fade.
A promise has brought me here, he thinks.
Outside, the guards speak. Inside, the
serpent grumbles.
He remains as he is. Alone.
SAM
The phone sits on the counter, silent.
To one side, scattered mail. To
the other side, keys and a small purse.
The kettle is steaming in the kitchen beyond; the television is
reporting the news. The last hints of
pink are fading from the sky outside, and the streets are mostly quiet. Emptiness in her house.
Echoes of the last recorded message linger in the air. A father's voice, wry and patronizing. Ironic questions and gruff concern.
She leans forward, elbows on counter-top, and stares at the phone.
Military training and personal history warns her. Her hands push up through short blond hair firmly, pressing in at
her temples. Eyes close momentarily as
she sighs, then open slowly.
Yet again she asks herself the same question, and yet again she finds no
logical answer. In a family torn by
bitterness and loss, she finds herself in-between her dreams and her kin. To follow her father, to absolve him. To find her brother's heart once more. To put to rest the memory of a mother. These things she longs for deeply, abruptly
pushed aside when terror strikes and duty calls.
And here, now, the vast opportunities of a world beyond anything she had hoped
for. A world that both frightens and
fascinates her. The intricate details
of the gate itself, the wealth of planets she had written off. Science that challenges her mind, technology
that baffles her. A duty and a calling
so high, she feels the inner self-doubt stirring, the need to prove herself a
match for this enormous world.
It's a moment of revelation and a reason for joy. And it must remain secret from her kin.
She pushes back away from the counter and takes the kettle off the heat.
Tomorrow, work on the gate continues.
The many destinations Dr. Jackson uncovered must be organized and
addressed. She must talk to the General
about the freezing issue; there is a way to fix that, she's sure. And many other things she must deal with
tomorrow, and the next day, and the days following that.
And if she feels lonely... there's always the gate, and what lies beyond.
DANIEL
Footsteps on sand. Breeze pulling cloth. A low, lovely voice laughing. The
flash of creamy skin and the shadow black hair against the night.
A fall forward, a soft laugh, and rising again. Thick hair whipping around as
the head turns. Brown eyes smiling.
Home is in those eyes. All the
insecurities, all the frailties, they all drown. Instead of being shy, he is made bold. Instead of being wary, he is free. Instead of the loneliness, there is touch. Instead of the pain, there is joy. And of all the wonders of the universe, of
all the sights he's seen, this is higher than them all.
All of this is here.
It's here in the hands that grasp his, in the smile on her mouth, in the
embrace they share. It's in the way she
runs her fingers through his hair. It's
in the way he holds her face. It's in
the way they watch each other sleep.
It's in the family around them, in the sand that swirls in the breeze,
in the simple knowledge that home is love.
A flash of light as red as blood. Home
is swept away before his eyes. Through
the shock, through the loss, he sees the glint of metal and sees brown eyes
glow.
He wakes in the night, breathless and shaking.
The room is quiet, but for the faint echo of a muffled shout. Cool sheets in his hands, bunched in taut
fists. Blanket kicked down around his
feet. A clock illuminates the late
hour. Under the door, a thin sliver of
golden light. Curtains at the window
sway gently. Window pane shines coolly
in the moonlight. Outside, high above
this world, tiny specks of white in a sea of black.
Slowly, he sits up in the bed and stares.
Despair nudges his heart doggedly. Hope
backs down. Again the guilt floods
him. Anguish quickly follows. The world blurs behind the pain. His head bends down. Shoulders shake.
There is no soft touch, no soothing voice.
He weeps alone in the silent room.
JACK
Softly, music drifts through the room, settling on his nerves like a soothing
cloth. In his hand is a bottle, just
opened. His feet are propped up on the
coffee table, and one arm hangs over the back of the couch. His eyes are closed, weary, stinging
slightly. Brown hair, graying slowly,
is in a restless array.
Down the hall, Daniel is silent once more.
He contemplates, briefly, going to check.
Yet memories of his own surround his senses. The past he once buried thrusts back at him too swiftly. So used to solitude now. So uncomfortable at its escape.
Exhaustion dogs his mind. Loss
magnifies, and pain intensifies.
Hours ago, a boy named Skaara lived free.
Hours ago, Daniel lived light years away. Hours ago, an alien warrior lived as a slave. Hours ago, some measure of closure soothed
his life. Hours ago, he lived
alone. Wistful, lonely, building these
walls.
Part of him longs to have it back. Numbness
is appealing, like drops of beer. In
this world, son dies and wife leaves.
Isolation tugs at him.
Yet someone sleeps in his house.
Someone lost and lonely. Someone
insecure and frightened. Someone who
stirs the wary father in his heart, and the gentle brother as well. Someone with a heartbeat. Someone with a need for him. And someone else waits patiently,
trustingly. Someone who made a
promise. Someone he has made a promise
to. And for all the distance between
them, someone also hopes for him.
Someone who believes him strong and unbeatable. Someone young, naïve… God, too much like a
son.
He takes another drink from the bottle.
Sets it down. Rubs his face with
both hands. Heaves a sigh. Rests his head against the couch. Narrows his eyes and listens.
He remembers the words he spoke to Daniel.
Remembers the trust of Skaara.
Remembers the look on Teal'c's face.
Down the hall, Daniel is silent.
:.: The End :.: