Title: Questions for the Answers – [By Genise A. Mora]
Rating: PG; nothing wrong with this one kiddies.
Disclaimer: Doggett, Scully, and Mulder are property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the FOX Network. No copyright infringment intended.
Classification: Doggett & Scully POV
Keywords: Doggett/Scully Angst, MS Romance
Spoilers: season 8 [up to patience]
Summary: Doggett and Scully think about their partnership, the X-Files, and Mulder. Please R&R!
Personal note: I was always wondering if Scully realizes how brutal she is to Doggett, at least until Patience. Don't forget, she was once a stubborn skeptic also, so that's very unfair. And I wanted to voice what Doggett must be thinking about Mulder while he's missing, because hey, if you don't know the guy like we X-Philes, you'd think he [Mulder] was a kook too.
Feedback: Welcome. Please send me comments, constructive ones that is.
E-mail: rockenpnay@yahoo.com
AIM: rockenpnay
Questions for the Answers – [By Genise A. Mora]
====
He strides down the hallway, with that swagger and attitude of a cop from those gangster movies where they're all tough and hard as a rock. But this cop's an FBI agent, one who disagrees on every method I use to solve a case. One whom I manage to get into an argument with about everything. But he's one who knows my pain. He's lost a son, and I've lost Emily, and that helps me bear the frustration of working with him because I know he does it all because he feels he failed his son.
"Morning Agent Scully." He greets me, his voice deep and a little bit on the raspy side. He removes his jacket and sits at his desk, rolling his sleeves up as he picks up the folder on his desk that contains our latest case.
"Morning." I reply, going back to looking at my own folder. We're silent for a moment as he looks over the file. I find myself at a loss over what to do. Instead of just watching him, I ruffle papers around on my desk, making myself look busy. I come across an old piece of paper from a memo pad, crinkled from heavy use, notes that Mulder made to himself. I place the tips of my fingers over the writing, feeling where the paper has sunken in due to the pressure of the pencil tip.
I wish Mulder were here, very badly. It's not the same, nothing is the same, without Mulder. A piece of paper with his absentmindedly sloppy handwriting is no substitute for a warm body. If he were here, I would have never met Special Agent John Doggett. If he were here, there would be no search for him, and Skinner's career wouldn't be on the line.
"You okay, Scully?" Doggett asks me, looking at me carefully.
I smile for his benefit, "yes, I'm fine."
He shrugs and goes back to his work. He's hardworking, plus he's handsome in a rugged sort of way. He reminds me of myself a couple of years back, when all of Mulder's theories seemed like fresh crap out of a bull's ass, when I was also a skeptic.
"I'm going to get some coffee, you want some?"
"Sure," I answer, grateful that he cared enough.
"I'll be back," He promises and saunters out of the room. I can hear him greeting other agents as they pass him, laughing at something one of them says.
* * * * *
She's rebellious, I tell myself. She's unbelievable. She's crazy. But as I study her profile from the corner of my eye, I can't help but think she's beautiful.
We didn't get off on the right start. I'll admit, it was partially my fault. But it was hers too for throwing water in my face. But boy, does she have spirit. I'm not one of those guys who falls just for a pretty face and body, but Scully has something about her, something that's real and honest and pure. Sometimes I still think she's a kook with all of those unconventional methods she has for solving cases, but I've seen things that I can't even explain and the way she's really dedicated to each case is refreshing.
She's also silent, looking up at the window where sunlight enters the room. No doubt thinking of Mulder. She thinks of him whenever she gets a free moment, and I can understand that lost and wistful look she has on her face. I did lose my own son.
I don't really know what to say to her right now. She's an enigma, something that I don't really understand but feel compelled to. She's got this temper, this willfulness, that people usually can't sense until she's ready to bite your head off. She still distrusts me. She feels threatened by my being placed on the X-files, as if I wanted to be placed on it and fill Mulder's shoes. She still clings to the idea that he'll be back, and you can tell by that look she sometimes gets that she misses him immensely.
Damn Mulder. I was sent to find him, and what I ended up finding is that I actually don't want to. Sure, he and Scully were close, but did he really care about her? She was his "rock," his cornerstone, but where was Fox Mulder when Dana Scully needed him the most, not Agent Scully, but Dana. Scully clings to this "imago" of him, this image of Mulder as a saint and pure and his pursuit of the truth is all that matters to him.
Bull shit. Mulder isn't a saint, he is – was – human.
I've studied Mulder's file over and over again, wondering what exactly makes this man tick. I'm starting to think he was actually a time bomb, waiting to go off at the right moment where he could hurt as many people as possible. He did, in part, succeed. He managed to be "abducted" at a time where Scully was most vulnerable, where Skinner would be so shocked into submission by it that he can't even run his position as Assistant Director properly. He made the one moment in Scully's life where she deserved to be happy into one big emotional mess, and left me to tell her that he was suffering from a brain disease that he didn't even tell her about. Worst of all, he's created such a disdain for the X-files that no one in the FBI will believe anything about it.
And here I come, Agent Doggett, the so-called epitome of what an FBI agent should be. I'm here to clean up after Mulder, to take care of everything he screwed up, the relationships between the X-files and other cases, and to take care of the disdain most of the agents had for him. I look at Scully again at this moment, wondering if it's also my job to get Mulder out of her heart.
I wouldn't mind loving her. But I won't compete with a ghost, someone who's already had a nine-year head start on me. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, and I doubt Scully's looking for a relationship right now. She should be on maternity leave, but she insists on staying in the office to finish things up. I should insist she go on leave, but I'm too selfish. Her presence is comforting in many ways for me. I'll never admit this to anyone, but she's the reason I get up every morning to come to this hell- hole.
I leave the office, greeting several agents. Men I used to think of as friends as well as co-workers, but that's changed as well. They don't understand what the X-files is about, but then again neither do I. They give me strange looks when I don't want to discuss Scully, and I feel like I have to defend her every time I see them. I stopped hanging out with them after that. The whole situation is confusing.
I came to the X-Files to find answers. The only thing I've found are more questions.
Rating: PG; nothing wrong with this one kiddies.
Disclaimer: Doggett, Scully, and Mulder are property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the FOX Network. No copyright infringment intended.
Classification: Doggett & Scully POV
Keywords: Doggett/Scully Angst, MS Romance
Spoilers: season 8 [up to patience]
Summary: Doggett and Scully think about their partnership, the X-Files, and Mulder. Please R&R!
Personal note: I was always wondering if Scully realizes how brutal she is to Doggett, at least until Patience. Don't forget, she was once a stubborn skeptic also, so that's very unfair. And I wanted to voice what Doggett must be thinking about Mulder while he's missing, because hey, if you don't know the guy like we X-Philes, you'd think he [Mulder] was a kook too.
Feedback: Welcome. Please send me comments, constructive ones that is.
E-mail: rockenpnay@yahoo.com
AIM: rockenpnay
Questions for the Answers – [By Genise A. Mora]
====
He strides down the hallway, with that swagger and attitude of a cop from those gangster movies where they're all tough and hard as a rock. But this cop's an FBI agent, one who disagrees on every method I use to solve a case. One whom I manage to get into an argument with about everything. But he's one who knows my pain. He's lost a son, and I've lost Emily, and that helps me bear the frustration of working with him because I know he does it all because he feels he failed his son.
"Morning Agent Scully." He greets me, his voice deep and a little bit on the raspy side. He removes his jacket and sits at his desk, rolling his sleeves up as he picks up the folder on his desk that contains our latest case.
"Morning." I reply, going back to looking at my own folder. We're silent for a moment as he looks over the file. I find myself at a loss over what to do. Instead of just watching him, I ruffle papers around on my desk, making myself look busy. I come across an old piece of paper from a memo pad, crinkled from heavy use, notes that Mulder made to himself. I place the tips of my fingers over the writing, feeling where the paper has sunken in due to the pressure of the pencil tip.
I wish Mulder were here, very badly. It's not the same, nothing is the same, without Mulder. A piece of paper with his absentmindedly sloppy handwriting is no substitute for a warm body. If he were here, I would have never met Special Agent John Doggett. If he were here, there would be no search for him, and Skinner's career wouldn't be on the line.
"You okay, Scully?" Doggett asks me, looking at me carefully.
I smile for his benefit, "yes, I'm fine."
He shrugs and goes back to his work. He's hardworking, plus he's handsome in a rugged sort of way. He reminds me of myself a couple of years back, when all of Mulder's theories seemed like fresh crap out of a bull's ass, when I was also a skeptic.
"I'm going to get some coffee, you want some?"
"Sure," I answer, grateful that he cared enough.
"I'll be back," He promises and saunters out of the room. I can hear him greeting other agents as they pass him, laughing at something one of them says.
* * * * *
She's rebellious, I tell myself. She's unbelievable. She's crazy. But as I study her profile from the corner of my eye, I can't help but think she's beautiful.
We didn't get off on the right start. I'll admit, it was partially my fault. But it was hers too for throwing water in my face. But boy, does she have spirit. I'm not one of those guys who falls just for a pretty face and body, but Scully has something about her, something that's real and honest and pure. Sometimes I still think she's a kook with all of those unconventional methods she has for solving cases, but I've seen things that I can't even explain and the way she's really dedicated to each case is refreshing.
She's also silent, looking up at the window where sunlight enters the room. No doubt thinking of Mulder. She thinks of him whenever she gets a free moment, and I can understand that lost and wistful look she has on her face. I did lose my own son.
I don't really know what to say to her right now. She's an enigma, something that I don't really understand but feel compelled to. She's got this temper, this willfulness, that people usually can't sense until she's ready to bite your head off. She still distrusts me. She feels threatened by my being placed on the X-files, as if I wanted to be placed on it and fill Mulder's shoes. She still clings to the idea that he'll be back, and you can tell by that look she sometimes gets that she misses him immensely.
Damn Mulder. I was sent to find him, and what I ended up finding is that I actually don't want to. Sure, he and Scully were close, but did he really care about her? She was his "rock," his cornerstone, but where was Fox Mulder when Dana Scully needed him the most, not Agent Scully, but Dana. Scully clings to this "imago" of him, this image of Mulder as a saint and pure and his pursuit of the truth is all that matters to him.
Bull shit. Mulder isn't a saint, he is – was – human.
I've studied Mulder's file over and over again, wondering what exactly makes this man tick. I'm starting to think he was actually a time bomb, waiting to go off at the right moment where he could hurt as many people as possible. He did, in part, succeed. He managed to be "abducted" at a time where Scully was most vulnerable, where Skinner would be so shocked into submission by it that he can't even run his position as Assistant Director properly. He made the one moment in Scully's life where she deserved to be happy into one big emotional mess, and left me to tell her that he was suffering from a brain disease that he didn't even tell her about. Worst of all, he's created such a disdain for the X-files that no one in the FBI will believe anything about it.
And here I come, Agent Doggett, the so-called epitome of what an FBI agent should be. I'm here to clean up after Mulder, to take care of everything he screwed up, the relationships between the X-files and other cases, and to take care of the disdain most of the agents had for him. I look at Scully again at this moment, wondering if it's also my job to get Mulder out of her heart.
I wouldn't mind loving her. But I won't compete with a ghost, someone who's already had a nine-year head start on me. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, and I doubt Scully's looking for a relationship right now. She should be on maternity leave, but she insists on staying in the office to finish things up. I should insist she go on leave, but I'm too selfish. Her presence is comforting in many ways for me. I'll never admit this to anyone, but she's the reason I get up every morning to come to this hell- hole.
I leave the office, greeting several agents. Men I used to think of as friends as well as co-workers, but that's changed as well. They don't understand what the X-files is about, but then again neither do I. They give me strange looks when I don't want to discuss Scully, and I feel like I have to defend her every time I see them. I stopped hanging out with them after that. The whole situation is confusing.
I came to the X-Files to find answers. The only thing I've found are more questions.