Summary: Sirius introduces Fred and George to the best pranksters Hogwarts ever knew by a book of broken rules.

Disclaimer: Not of these characters are mine, they all belong to JK Rowling

A/N: My first Harry Potter fic, so I hope you'll like it.

It was relatively calm at Grimmauld place 12. After Arthur had arrived and Christmas had been celebrated, things had gone back to normal which basically meant that sometimes people of the Order would arrive and stay for perhaps a day or two, Harry, Ron and Hermoine were kept busy by Mrs. Weasly who was hoping to prevent any conversation about You-Know-Who, Sirius was minding his own and Kreacher's business and Fred and George were once again planning their next attack on Umbridge or the Toad, as they preferred.

'We could turn all her outfits green, she'd look even more like a toad,' Fred said, but George shook his head. His brother sighed and crossed the idea of the list.

'You're right, that's too easy. Let's see. Poison her tea?'

'Perhaps we should wait until things really get out of hand. I don't want to be charged with murder,' George replied and watched how yet another idea got a large X in front of it.'

'Oh, we've still got the swamp.' Fred eyes got a mischievous glance in them as he looked at his brother, who just smiled.

'We still need to work on that, but yes, we definitely need to do that.'

'You really can't come up with anything better than that?' a voice behind them said. Fred and George spun around and looked at Sirius' grinning face. 'I'm just saying, you'll need something better than a swamp if you want to beat the best pranksters Hogwarts has ever had.'

'We already are the best prankster Hogwarts ever had,' Fred protested.

'Yeah, and if we aren't, we are better than you and your marauders were anyway.'

'If we had to vote, I think it would be a tie between you two and us marauders, but I didn't mean us, when talked about the best pranksters,' Sirius replied as he calmly sat down on the other side of the table, pouring some tea in a cup.

'Who are you talking about?'

'I don't believe there were people better than us,' Fred and George said.

'Well, there were. The Gryffindor twins. Those girls broke every single rule invented and a couple of rules were added because of them,' Sirius dryly stated before sipping his tea.

'Impossible! No girl could be better than us,' George exclaimed.

'Yeah, and it's impossible to break every rule,' Fred added.

'Sorry to disappoint you, but they did it and they were girls. Although it was mainly one of them that did all the work.' Fred and George looked at him with their mouths open. A girl, a single girl, better than they are. The world was nearing its end.

'How do you know? Do you know them?' George asked. Sirius shook his head.

'No, but I wish I did. The Gryffindor twins left school even before I was born. We, the marauders, once found a diary of sorts. When we managed to open we found the school rules, all marked with an X. And before you go saying that that is no proof. If you held the book and said one of the rules out loud, you'd see how they had broken them, except for a couple of them. Ingenious piece of work. We nicked it from McGonagall's desk when we had detention.'

'That is brilliant!' Fred said.

'Can we see it?' George asked.

'Sure, why not,' he said. 'Accio Gryffindor twins' diary.' A couple of seconds later a thick leather bound book came floating towards Sirius's outstretched hand. He whispered something inaudible and then the book fell open.

'What do you want to see?'

'How did they kill a teacher,' Fred immediately said.

'I'm sorry that one is locked for some reason, but I can tell you how it happened. You see one of the two girls, Minnie, did not only break most of the rules, but was also the smartest witch of her class, so one day during History, she noticed that her professor made a mistake and she corrected him. He died of a heart attack. Poor professor Binns.'

'No way!' George said.

'She killed professor Binns?' Sirius nodded.

'Wicked!'

'Sorry that I couldn't show it to you though, but whatever we tried, even with Remus's help, we couldn't reveal it. One time during detention we got bored and asked professor Slughorn how Binns had died and he told us. The girl didn't receive any punishment, because she didn't do anything wrong,' Sirius said and absentmindedly turned a couple of pages. 'Okay, what next?'

'Did they perform Dark Arts on school grounds?' George asked curiously.

'Yes, just watch.' Sirius held the book tightly and read the rule out loud. A sort of projection appeared and Fred and George Weasly saw a tall, slim girl with black hair down to her waist and sparkling green eyes run towards a black haired Slytherin boy. He wrapped his arms around her waist and captured her lips with his own. The girl gave a small moan and pulled back.

'It's been too long,' she whispered in his ear. The boy just nodded.

'Yes, but we must hurry. I found an empty classroom where we can do this,' he replied and started running. The girl followed him into what Fred and George knew as the Transfiguration classroom.

'This is Dumbledore's room,' the girl breathed and her eyes briefly flickered with fear.

'So? The old man will never find out.' The girl hesitated for a second and then closed the door behind her, locking it with a couple of spells.

'Done. What did you need my help for?' she asked him.

'I heard from the sixth years that were able to resist the Imperius curse and I need to know how you did that. I want to know how to do it myself.' Fred and George both thought the boy looked way to happy when he mentioned the curse, but the girl didn't seem to notice.

'That's quite easy actually; you just have to have enough will power. Cast it on me and I'll show you.' Without hesitation the boy pointed his wand at her.

'Imperio,' he said. The girl closed her eyes and clenched her fists. It seemed to take a lot of strength, but she managed to open her eyes and remain on her place.

'See, it's easy. You just have to want it hard enough. Ready?' The boy nodded. 'Imperio.' Immediately the boy walked towards her, dipped the girl and kissed her. Giggling she lifted the curse.

'Almost, but not quite. Try harder. Imperio' This time the boy walked towards a table, just before he started to climb on top of it, he stopped. Each muscle in his body seemed to have tensed up, but he did not get on the table.

'Good,' the girl said. 'You did it!' She ran towards him, but he stopped her.

'One more time.'

'Okay, whatever you want. Imperio.' The boy started walking towards the girl and crashed his lips down on hers. He pushed her back until her back met Dumbledore's desk. Hopping on top of it, they never stopped kissing. She spread her legs and he stepped between them, bringing their bodies even closer.

'You know,' she said when he started sucking at her throat. 'I daresay you have succeeded, Tom, since my intention was to make you dance.'

'I know,' he replied while his hands found their way under her skirt. 'This is just your reward for helping me, Minnie.'

'That is enough,' a stern voice said behind them. Sirius immediately closed the book and tried to look innocent when he saw professor McGonagall.

'You're spoiling all the fun. I always love it when the rule 'It is forbidden to use Dark Arts on the school grounds' evolves into 'It is forbidden to have sexual intercourse in any classroom.' Fred and George laughed, but professor McGonagall's lips thinned.

'In case you failed to notice, Sirius, that boy turned into the darkest wizard of all time and I - - she still feels guilty about teaching about the Imperius curse.' The professor may have corrected herself, but the damage had been done. Sirius had sprayed the tea in his mouth over the table and Fred and George looked like they were stunned.

'You? It was you and that was You-Know-Who?' Fred asked. The thought of the strictest professor being the greatest prankster of all time was impossible. It just could not have been true.

'Yes,' she replied, when she knew there was no way she could talk herself out of this. 'It was me. And I had hoped that no one would ever find out. When the book disappeared, I feared that someone might discover it, but when I heard nothing, I figured it had just disappeared, not thinking that I would see it again over twenty years later.'

'You killed professor Binns?' George asked when he finally was able to move again. McGonagall sighed and sat down.

'I corrected him. How was I to know that he was going to have a heart attack? The man was a fool anyway. That doesn't mean I don't regret to this day.'

'Is that why the memory is locked?' Sirius asked.

'Partially, also because when he fell down I did everything I could to make him breath again. I even tried the muggle way, giving him mouth-to-mouth.' She shuddered as did the twins. 'I had nightmares for weeks. That was disgusting.' The four of them could not help but laugh.

'Why is the student-teacher relationship locked?' Sirius asked looking very innocent at McGonagall, who turned red. George grabbed the book and looked for the rule. He read it out loud but nothing happened. Fred took the book and looked at it.

'Why are there two X's?' he asked. All three of them looked at her while she turned even redder.

'I can't tell you everything, but about one of them you can ask Sirius,' she replied coolly. The twins turned towards Sirius. He shot a glare towards McGonagall who just smiled smugly.

'You and her?' George asked.

'No, it was a bet and I didn't sleep with her. It was just a kiss. I can't believe you put it in there.'

'I didn't,' McGonagall replied. 'The book adjusts itself. A platonic kiss between teachers and students isn't forbidden but what you did was.'

'That was because of the bet!' Sirius exclaimed and got up.

'Really?' Sit down, Black, and I'll show you,' McGonagall snapped. The twins found it very amusing to see her shouting at someone else for a change. She yanked the book from Fred's hands and whispered an incantation. Immediately another projection appeared, this time of an empty classroom, except for a younger professor McGonagall who was grading essays. Suddenly the door opened and a teenage boy walked in with black hair.

'Yes, Mr. Black, what can I do for you?' Professor McGonagall asked. Nervously Sirius took a couple of steps towards her desk until he reached it.

'Well, you see, professor, I lost this bet and - -'

'Gambling is illegal, as you know, Mr. Black,' she interrupted him.

'We - - I did not exactly bet for money.'

'Well, then I don't see the problem,' she replied and returned to her essays when Sirius very quickly walked around her desk and pulled her glasses of her face.

'Mr. Black I can not al - -' she didn't get any further, because Sirius pressed his lips against hers, parted her lips with his tongue and gained entrance to her mouth. With one hand her removed the hairpins and released her hair. His other hand moved up her body and cupped one of her breasts. Shocked by this movement the professor pushed him away. She looked furious and yet beautiful. Her lips were swollen and her cheeks were pink.

'That is enough, Mr. Black. If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will be fired and you will be sorry for the rest of your life.' Sirius nodded and walked out of the classroom, but not before winking at her. Professor McGonagall slammed her fist down on her desk.

'Stupid, insolent, damn Black,' she hissed after she realized he had taken her hairpins with him. The projection stopped. McGonagall leaned back in her chair and looked at Sirius, who just glared back.

'What exactly did you have to do?' Fred asked.

'I had to and I quote James now 'snog McG and bring back evidence' and that's what I did,' he said, crossing his arms.

'There was no need to touch her breast though,' George said.

'I got caught up in the moment. She's actually a very good kisser, to my surprise.'

'I'm still in the room, in case you failed to notice that,' McGonagall interrupted.

'Yes, and since you are, why don't you unlock the other memory, you've embarrassed me, now it's your turn,' Sirius replied, smiling smugly.

'Absolutely not. You don't think that showing my students that I kissed a student isn't embarrassing for me? I will not unlock it.'

'Yes, you will,' George said. 'Otherwise we'll let everyone in school know, including the Toad what you did when you were younger.'

'I'm sure Sirius will give us the book for a few days. How about a nice viewing in the Great Hall?' Fred added.

'I will need your word that you will not tell anyone about this. If you do the war with Voldemort will look like a silly game compared to what I will do to you,' she hissed.

'We hereby do solemnly swear take this secret into our graves,' Fred and George said with their hand over their heart.

'Promise,' Sirius simply said. McGonagall nodded and whispered the incantation. They saw a small tabby running through the hall and slipping past the first door it saw. There it bumped into a pair of legs belonging to a man with auburn hair and an auburn beard.

'Is that Dumbledore?' Fred asked. McGonagall nodded. Before the tabby realized what had happened, Dumbledore picked it up and held it in its arms.

'There, there, tabby, or should I say Miss McGonagall?' The cat started to transform and suddenly Dumbledore held seventh year student in his arms with tears streaming down her face. Without thinking about she threw her arms around his neck and cried.

'Calm down, Minerva,' he said. 'Try to take deep breaths and tell me what is wrong.' Slowly the girl calmed downed and lifted her head.

'It's my boyfriend, sir, Tom, he - - I don't know him anymore. He has changed so much over the holidays. He practicing Dark Magic and he had these followers who call him Lord Voldemort. I heard him talk about what he did to his father, he - - he killed him and his wife and child. I don't believe it. I can't believe I loved him. When I confronted him about it, he said he was going to make me his Queen. I refused and then he tried to - - he tried - -.' Tears started rolling down her face again. As an explanation she opened her robe and showed Dumbledore her torn clothing. He wrapped his arms around her as she cried on his shoulder.

'It's going to be alright, Minerva.' He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. She looked up in his twinkling blue eyes and kissed him on his lips. At first Dumbledore stood frozen but then he started moving his lips against hers. She wrapped her slim legs around his waist as their kiss grew more passionate.

'Wait, we can't. I'm a teacher, your teacher and I can't - -' he started.

'Who cares?' she asked and kissed his throat.

'The Headmaster will care, the ministry will care, your family will care,' he said.

'They don't have to know, do they?' she replied before sucking on his earlobe.

'Oh Merlin,' he whispered before kissing her again.

McGonagall slammed the book shut.

'Before you see anything I definitely wouldn't want you to see,' she said when she looked at their questioning faces.

'You and Dumbledore?' Fred muttered.

'Yes, me and professor Dumbledore,' she replied.

'I can't say I'm surprised. Just about the fact that it started when you were a student,' George said.

'I just have two questions,' Sirius stated. McGonagall raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to continue. 'Well, one: do I even want to know how you broke the pregnancy rule and two: what happened to your sister?' At the last question McGonagall expression got dark.

'My sister, Ceres, was killed by Voldemort as a payback to me for not becoming his queen and having a relationship with Albus. Tom knew, but never told anyone. I still miss her.' All four of them were quiet. Fred and George looked at each other. They couldn't bare it if one of them died.

'As for the pregnancy, I am not going to show that to you, but before you start worrying, Tom wasn't the father. Albus was. I got pregnant halfway during my seventh year. I managed to hide it from everyone, except Albus. When the child was born we kept it a secret for a while. Shortly after I became an auror, we married and introduced Miranda as our child, but only to our closest friends and relatives.'

'Do you have more children?' Sirius asked. McGonagall shook her head.

'No, Voldemort took care of that,' she said bitterly. 'He cursed me, thinking he could rob me of my greatest desire which was having a child. He did not know that I already had one. After Miranda graduated Hogwarts she moved to America with her boyfriend, now husband, for their own safety. Albus and I visit as much as possible.'

'Wow,' Fred said.

'That's some life,' George said.

'We never would have guessed that such a life could be the life of our strict, asexual, uptight - -'

'If I were you, Mr. Weasly, I would shut my mouth now. Now, if that was all, I will return to Hogwarts, I only had to deliver a message to Molly,' she said and got up.

'Oh, are you feeling lonely?'

'Are you going back to Dumbledore's arms?' The twins teased. She turned around and grabbed the book from the table.

'No, I'm going to prevent you two from breaking my record,' she said.

'Oi, Professor, wait!' Fred shouted. McGonagall turned around with pursed lips.

'Yes, Mr. Weasly?' Fred winked at his brother and Sirius before he wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his lips on hers. Just like Sirius he removed the hairpins. He tangled his fingers in her dark hair and pulled her even closer. She struggled a little, but it didn't help. Fred even managed to slip his tongue in her mouth. He discovered that Sirius was right, she was a good kisser. Then imitating Sirius he moved his hand up her body and cupped her breast. Sharp teeth descended on his tongue and with a yelp he pulled back.

'Ouch, professor, or can I call you Minnie now?' McGonagall glared at him, her cheeks flushed, her eyes sparkling dangerously and her hands tightly gripping her wand.

'If I ever hear that name again I will hex you into the next century. Explain your action,' she demanded. Fred shrugged.

'Just wanted to break another rule,' he simply replied and pointed at the book in her hand. She opened it and saw that another X had appeared.

'Congratulations,' she sneered. 'You were successful.'

'Hey, come on, professor, it was a joke. No hard feelings, right?' Fred said.

'We'll see about that.' She turned on her heel and left, her long hair following her like a black cape.

'Perhaps you shouldn't have messed with her,' Sirius said while he stared at McGonagall's empty seat.

'Are you kidding? It was brilliant, but gross, though. Next time you decide to snog a teacher, can you do it when I'm not there,' George teased. Fred slapped him on the shoulder.

'Very funny, but you saw how she looked when she was our age. She was hot.'

'Yes, but that was like fifty years ago. She could be your grandmother,' Sirius said.

'Doesn't matter, at least that's one less rule we have to break. Now are we going to do the swamp, yes or no?'


Minerva stormed into Albus's office and made Fawkes jump in the air. Albus simply looked up at his wife and waited for her to speak. When she was in such a mood, it was better not to say anything, because she was actually capable of cursing him. It did however surprise him that her hair was down. She never wore it down publicly, although she knew he preferred it that way.

'Those Weasly twins and that damn Black found out,' she hissed.

'Found out what, dear?' Albus calmly asked.

'Everything!' she exclaimed. 'About the Gryffindor twins, about me and Tom, about us, about Miranda, about Ceres.' Albus understood. It had always been one of Minerva's fears that one of those secrets would come out and now all them at once. It seemed more than appropriate that she was upset. He got up from behind his desk and walked towards.

'Calm down, my dear,' he said and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. That seemed to calm her down a bit. Then he gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

'Are we going to have sex now?' she asked with a devious smile.

'What are you talking about?' he replied.

'When I watched a particular memory I noticed that somehow every time you comfort me, you kiss me on my head and then somehow we always end up in bed.'

'Or on a desk,' he added.

'Or in a broom cupboard, or in the Room of Requirement, so you can see the validity of my question. Are we going to have sex now?' Albus pretended to think about the question, but with a flick of his hand her robes slowly started to slip of her shoulders. He brought his lips down on hers, getting a small moan in return.

'I guess I have my answer,' she whispered against his lips.


'Does anybody know where Minerva is?' Molly asked when she entered the kitchen and saw her two sons chatting with Sirius. 'I must speak with her.'

'How about Dumbledore's room,' George whispered to Fred who had to stifle a laugh.

'What was that?' their mother asked, hands on her hips.

'Nothing, but I have and idea, wait a second,' Fred said and left the kitchen for the living room where he flooed Dumbledore's office. Within a second he pulled his head out of the fire, nearly choking on the ashes.

'No, she wasn't there. I don't know where she is,' he said when he reentered the kitchen, his face incredibly pale. Luckily his mother didn't notice and she left the kitchen.

'Did you see a ghost or something,' George asked.

'Nuhu, but picture this. The Headmaster's desk, you got that? And on it is a naked professor McGonagall with an equally naked Dumbledore.' George turned as pale as his brother while Sirius choked on his apple.

'You, dear brother, have just been scarred for life and I want to thank you for making sure I will have nightmares for at least a fortnight.'

'Amen to that,' Sirius added.