What's in a Name?
So I frequently read stories where it says Spitelout and Stoick are brothers. That's all well and good, and I have nothing against it, except that it isn't technically possible for them to be brothers. Not if Snotlout still wants to be in line for the throne.
Why, you ask? It's relatively simple. Consider their surnames. Hiccup's surname is "Haddock," and because this particular teenager is both male and unmarried, we can assume that "Haddock" is also Stoick's surname. Yet Snotlout and Spitelout have "Jorgenson" as their surnames.
Now, given that this is a reasonably traditional Viking society (if you make considerations for the existence of dragons), I'm 99.999% sure brothers would share a surname. The closest Stoick and Spitelout can come to being related through at least one parent and still have different last names is half-brothers. Even then, neither Spitelout nor Snotlout would be in line for being chief, because in order for them to be half-brothers and have different last names, they would need to have different fathers.
In a traditional Viking society, inheritance is typically patriarchal, with the son inheriting the land, wealth, and title of his father. Women took the surname of their husband's family when they married. IF they shared a mother and not a father, Stoick's father would have been the chief with the surname of Haddock, and Spitelout's father's surname would have been Jorgenson. Ergo, the only way Snotlout could ever become chief would be to challenge our favorite talking fishbone for it.
In summary, brothers typically do not have differing surnames – unless they are only related through the mother. Thus, Stoick and Spitelout cannot be both brothers and have Snotlout as a potential candidate for being chief.
Now, I understand that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins. I accept this as fact. But it seems to me that many do not realize that cousins actually carry over. It is possible for two people to be cousins and yet not have parents who are siblings. That's what "once removed" stands for; the "once" part refers to the fact that two people are cousins, yet are from different generations in a family, and specifically means that they are one generation apart (e.g. someone is your great-uncle's child, putting them in the same generation as your parents). Twice removed, three times removed, four times removed, all of these indicate that someone is a cousin, but is several generations apart from someone (two generations for twice, three generations for three times, four generations for four times, etc.). The whole "first cousin" or "second cousin" just references which order they came in, or which order they were born, for that generation.
Therefore, in order for either Spitelout or Snotlout to be next in line, Stoick and Spitelout have to be cousins, at the very least. They would have to share a grandfather, with Stoick's father and Spitelout's mother being his children. Otherwise, there is no logical way for Spitelout and Stoick to be brothers and yet still have Snotlout capable of being chief.
Of course, it could be that Snotlout is really Stoick's nephew through a sister who married Spitelout. Unless I find or am shown evidence that this is true, however, I'm going to assume that this is not the case.
Feel free to refute me in your reviews. But unless you can offer a convincing counterargument, I won't bother replying with more than a complimentary PM. Sorry if this offends you, but I'd like to have a real debate with someone, rather than a boar-headed, stubborn review of "But Stoick and Spitelout HAVE to be brothers!".
Author's Notes: So yeah, I've just been giving this sort of thing a lot of thought, and thought I'd post this.
Also, I have a very important announcement to make:
I will be unable to work on most of my stories, except maybe Frozen Flames, because the external hard drive I store my fanfiction on has decided to be a jerk and refuses to let me access any of the files I have on it through my laptop. I apologize heartily for this inconvenience, and I hope you'll join me in hoping that it's fixed soon.
Wild Cat 214, tearfully out!