A/N: *Brushes off dust* This is my first contribution to Rivamika Week. Who cares that it's late? I don't own Attack on Titan or The Family Man. Man, I'm rusty.
Rivamika Week Day 1…or 3? They both work.
The Family Man
Cadet Zelma walked into her Captain's office, the smell of freshly brewed tea wafting through the hall with each step. "Lance Corporal?" she said, looking around for the grumpy man. His office had been freshly cleaned, but there was no sign of him.
"I'm here, Zelma," Levi's voice came from the doorway, startling her. "Someone took a huge shit and the smell was getting to me."
"I have your tea, sir."
"Thank you, just set it down on the desk." Levi walked to the built in office sink to wash his hands one more time before settling in for more work.
"Actually, Captain, I received a message for you earlier. A Mikasa Ackerman called," Zelma said, still surprised. She'd been working for Levi almost a whole year now and he'd never gotten any personal messages. There was the occasional call from Hanji and Erwin was around all the time, but nothing like this.
"Mikasa?" Levi said, surprised, though his face showed no emotion. It was apparent to him that his subordinate didn't know who Ackerman was. Stupid brat, he thought. Everyone who is anyone knows who the Girl Worth a Hundred Soldiers is, even if those days are over.
"What did she want?" he asked.
"She said that she had some old things of yours, and that she wanted to give them to you before she left. She also wanted to wish you Happy Birthday."
"Left? Where is she going?" Levi asked.
"Er, she didn't say, sir," Zelma said, a bit ashamed. She made a poor secretary.
"That's fine. Remind me to get a hold of her later," Levi said, dismissing her, though he knew he would not need reminding. It was a coincidence, really. Just the night before, he'd been thinking about his old squad, Eren, Jean, Armin…and Mikasa. How competent they became under his wing, though he'd only admitted it to them once. He missed them; he didn't know how nice it was to miss someone and still be able to reach them, still wasn't used to people actually being alive.
He thought of them rather often. The squad that had brought about the revolution had dispersed, going their separate ways after the war, none of them wanting any more of the military life. But Levi had stayed. Erwin needed him, and he would stay as long as he was needed. There was nothing for him anywhere else, anyway.
But there could have been, a voice in the back of his head repeated the exact words from the night before. Levi remembered his favorite subordinate, although he didn't think of her as that, and honestly never had. He remembered the relieved smile she'd given him when she'd found him high in the trees on one of their final missions together. His gear had broken, and he was stuck. Everyone was freaking out looking for him, thinking the worst, but he let them linger. She had found him first, just as he knew she would. It was one of the few moments he got to be truly alone with her, his equal, his friend.
Levi shook his thoughts away. He decided then that he wasn't going to call her back, pretend he'd forgotten. She would know better, though. Her gray eyes always seemed to see everything.
He was the last to leave yet again, though he supposed everyone wanted to get home to their families for the holiday in the morning. He noticed the note with Mikasa's information taped to the door. He threw it away without a second glance. Levi locked the door to his office, blank expression in place. He briefly thought about grabbing a drink, but then decided against it. He wasn't in the mood for running into anyone tonight.
He usually walked home, sometimes rode his horse to work, but it wasn't a long walk, and it was only slightly chilly outdoors, so he'd opted to travel by foot. His horse was getting old now; they all were.
I'm out of vitamins for the old girl, Levi remembered. He'd already put it off the night before, and depriving her of her nutrients another meal would make him feel bad. Shit, he thought, I have to walk to the store after all.
People waved at him, called out his name like old friends. The town was very grateful toward Levi and the Survey Corps, a far cry from how it had been ten years previous. Once inside, Levi walked straight to the feed section and picked out what he needed. Food was much easier to come by nowadays, for everyone. And Levi appreciated the abundant raise he'd been given at the end of the war.
Levi was second in line to check out, observing his thumbnail as he waited for the scrawny man in front of him.
Click, the sound of the gun was low, but undeniably recognizable to Levi's tuned ears. He glanced up immediately, taking in the threat before him.
"Give me all the money in your register," the little punk in front of Levi said, holding the gun close to his chest so no one but the cashier could see it. The cashier stared, wide-eyed, at the pistol, too surprised and afraid to move, before looking around desperately for someone to come to his aid.
"You heard me! Put the money in the bag!" the criminal yelled, throwing the bag at the man behind the counter. Fingers trembling, he opened the register and started placing every bit of cash.
Levi didn't have any weapons on him, but he didn't need any. He could take this punk out with a swift hand to the throat. But a second look at the man's appearance changed his mind. His clothes were ratty, burnt in some spots, and he was paler than anyone Levi had seen in quite a while. But it was the smell that Levi recognized the most. This man was from the Underground, had probably never worked a gun in his life. Levi doubted it was even loaded.
Levi decided against hurting him.
"That's it? A hundred bucks? You have to have more money in there," the man said once the cashier had loaded every cent in the bag.
"I'm sorry, that's all I made in the last few hours, the owners already came and collected all the money from the day shift. Please don't kill me, I have a family waiting for me at home, and tomorrow is Christmas," the worker pleaded.
"I—you're lying. Give me what's in your wallet then," he waved the gun around, but Levi saw even his hand was shaking.
"Oi," he finally interrupted. "He gave you want you initially wanted. That should suffice. Let this man be."
The two finally turned to him, both looking down upon his short stature. The crook didn't recognize him, but immediately the cashier started and shouted his name, relieved.
At the sound of 'Captain Levi', the thug jumped and held his hands up, releasing the gun. He was terrified of him, had heard stories upon stories of the sulky hero. He'd rather face ten MPs than the strongest man alive.
Levi didn't move, however. Instead he said, "What brings you up here, on Christmas Eve? Surely you'd rather steal a turkey or whatever it is they obsess about eating once a year."
The crook tried to run, but Levi grabbed his jacket collar and pulled him close. "Give that man back the money you took." He obliged quietly, and the cashier looked grateful.
Levi didn't like feeling like a military policeman. But this is what his job had come to lately. He didn't miss fighting titans, but he did miss the teamwork and the hope everyone always had. Now he just had paperwork and petty criminals.
Once the man was finished returning all the money back to the register, he tried to take off again. Levi caught him again and dragged him outside.
The man braced himself for a thrashing, but instead Levi pulled out his fancy leather wallet he'd gotten as an early birthday gift from Erwin. He pulled two hundred dollars out and gave it to the man. "Where you and I come from, stealing is part of surviving; I've been where you are, so I'm letting you go this time. But up here there are rules. And put this to good use. Make sure your family has a good meal tomorrow. Merry Christmas." With that, Levi turned on his heel to grab the horse vitamins he'd dropped in the process.
"Thank you, Captain Levi," the man said genuinely. "My family can finally have a real dinner for the first time in months." Levi stopped, his back to him. "I hope your family has a good Christmas. And happy birthday."
"How did you—" Levi turned around, surprised to see that the man had disappeared. He looked around for the complete stranger that somehow knew the date of his birth. And everyone knew Levi didn't have a family, even people from the Underground. Their Commander had even taken a wife, so why not his right hand man? It was a question Levi had grown tired of after years of the same old shit.
Slightly perturbed, Levi carried on with his business and returned home.
After a quick meal, Levi settled into his pale, soft bed and read his book for a few minutes. Years ago he had simply slept a few hours a night in his favorite chair, but now that he was getting older, it wasn't helping his back, and he slept longer and easier, giant weights lifted from his shoulders, though there were the weekly nightmares, but he doubted those would ever go away.
He sometimes wondered if the others had this problem. He wondered if they comforted each other when it happened. Did Mikasa have nightmares? Did someone wake up to her pretty, tear-stained face, whispering words of comfort like he once had long ago? Levi rubbed the empty spot in the bed next to him. Tch, I sound so pathetic.
He rolled onto his stomach and tried to clear his mind. He liked being alone, he told himself. He liked the silence and the order, the absence of another breath in the air and cleaning up after someone else.
He unconsciously placed the extra pillow beside him and cradled it, falling into a deep sleep.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. The incessant alarm woke the Captain of the Survey Corps. He groggily felt around for the sheets, attempting to hide the sunlight pouring in from his tired eyes. He remembered then that he didn't have any alarms, and raised his head curiously.
Levi slowly opened his eyes, still cloudy from sleep. He felt around again for the extra pillow, deciding to just block out the sound for now. Instead, his hand grabbed something much warmer and fleshier. A leg? He realized and started.
"Oh hello," a feminine voice said tiredly. Levi immediately glanced toward the voice, and ungracefully toppled out of the bed.
"Levi?" the woman said, moving quickly to his side to check on him. She snorted with laughter then, seeing him sprawled out on the floor, an incredulous look on his sharp features. "You really slept hard last night after putting the presents out!"
Levi remained on the floor. His heart was hammering, his breathing erratic, and now his back hurt from hitting the floor. "Mikasa?" he asked.
"Yes, babe?" she replied, getting out of bed and reaching for a robe hanging on a doorknob. Levi didn't recognize the place he was currently in, but his first concern was the woman in front of him.
"You—you're…" he stumbled on his words, staring at the beauty he had not seen for years.
"I'm what? Up before you? Miracle, I know." She giggled; his expression was simply hilarious and he wasn't getting up from the floor. "Do you need help, old man?"
Levi blinked, and blinked again, his mouth open.
"Happy birthday, by the way. Soon I'll have to start lying about your age. Haha, everyone still thinks I'm twenty-seven, idiots."
The beeping finally went off, and then the door burst open. Levi was suddenly aware of his state of undress. He brought the covers up to hide his bare chest and heard little patters on the wood floor coming toward him.
"Merry Christmas!" he watched Mikasa pick up a small child and plant big kisses on the pale little face.
"Momma, there's so many presents! Santa came last night and we didn't even hear him at all!"
"Oh, well Santa is very good at being quiet," Mikasa said, turning to Levi with a wink.
"Happy birthday, Daddy!" a little voice came from on top of the bed. Another child, a girl older than the little boy in Mikasa's arms, stared at Levi with big gray eyes and a wide smile missing the two front teeth.
Levi simply stared at her from the floor, aghast.
"Let's let Daddy get dressed and then we can have breakfast and then open presents, okay?" Mikasa said, pulling the two children out of the room.
"Oh, but I want to open presents before breakfast!" the girl whined once the door closed behind them.
Levi watched his old squad member and the two children leave, trying to calm his heartbeat. He untangled his shaky legs and got up from the floor.
He did not recognize the room, but he liked it, somehow aware of the simple yet intricate decoration in his state.
He walked to the bathroom on the other side of the bed and splashed water on his face. The mirror above the sink showed himself, the usual face he was accustomed to seeing, but his hair was longer, hiding the normal undercut, and the lines around his mouth were less pronounced.
He walked into the living room after a quick shower, taking in everything. He was convinced he was dreaming, even after pinching himself a few times. But this wasn't a nightmare quite yet, he told himself, so he was going along with it for the time being.
"Come oooonnn Daddy! You're taking forever!" one of the children shouted, coming up to him and grabbing his hand. The girl's dark hair was long and straight, but messy from sleep. Her eyes looked just like Mikasa's, but her face was all...his. He recognized his own sharp features in her. He didn't know what to think.
Levi looked at Mikasa, who was feeding the little boy in the booster seat at the dining table.
"I done!" He shouted when Levi walked in. He rushed to the Christmas tree and grabbed presents.
Mikasa rolled her eyes in amusement, and walked to the couch, patting the seat next to her. Levi noticed a large diamond on her ring finger, impressed. Me? He thought. He sat down next to her and watched the excited brats open their presents.
Levi waited to wake up at any minute, but stole glances at the woman next to him while he still could.
Mikasa had grown into a beautiful woman. She'd been attractive when he'd known her before, but now she was a vision. Her body was filled out, hips widened from childbirth. Her eyes were lit with happiness, her expression one Levi had never seen on her face.
She felt his eyes on her and smiled at him. "I love you," she mouthed at him.
Levi immediately got up, unable to handle any more weirdness.
"What's wrong?" Mikasa asked, startled by his quickness.
"I-need some air," he replied before rushing outside.
The front yard was vast, the fresh air tasting clean and pure through Levi's nose. He walked down the wooden porch steps and onto the stone pathway. His hands still itched with confusion.
This wasn't a dream. He would have woken up by now. It was all too real, but none of it made any sense. He knelt down, convinced he'd finally lost his mind.
Soon later, the sound of a horse carriage could be heard, coming from behind the largest gardening patch Levi had ever seen. He recognized his horse in an instant. The old girl had one passenger, the man from the night before with a shitty grin on his face.
"Hey there, Captain Levi," the man said. He was considerably cleaner; Levi almost didn't recognize him.
"What are you doing here?" Levi demanded.
"No need to be so agitated on your 43rd birthday, Captain. You were just telling me last night to enjoy Christmas with my family."
Levi's face jerked up. "You...you had something to do with this?"
The man shrugged. "I thought you could use a little vacation."
"A vacation?" Levi asked, "By giving me a life I never wanted?"
"Oh, the kids aren't that bad," he replied with a wave of his hand. "And your wife is an A plus."
Levi crossed his arms. "So this is only temporary?"
"Yes. But how long? That depends on you," the crook cracked the reins of the carriage and the horse took off, leaving Levi behind, pissed off and still confused as to how he ended up in this predicament.
But he went back inside, had coffee and did his best to pretend he knew what the hell was happening. Mikasa gave him funny looks but didn't ask questions. This Mikasa was used to her husband's episodes and knew sometimes he just needed to be alone.
Being in her presence was strange; Levi had imagined their reunion a hundred times, but this Mikasa acted as if there had been no separation, no argument eight years earlier. She looked at him the way he once wished she would.
"Hannes, baby, don't press all those buttons. You'll break it," Mikasa fussed her—their, Levi supposed—son. She took the remote he'd been playing with away and started cleaning the food off the table. Levi helped her, deciding he wanted the house to at least be clean if he were going to be here a while.
"Hey," she whispered to him as he washed dishes and she dried, "You okay? You seem…off."
Levi scoffed. "Off? I woke up in a house I've never been in, I haven't seen you in almost five years, and apparently I have two children, one of which has the most basic name of names you can choose from."
Mikasa frowned. "What are you talking about? You chose Isabel's name."
"Isabel? I meant Hannes! I have a son named Hannes!"
"We agreed that since you chose Bel's name, I got to choose Hannes'! And what do you mean, you haven't seen me in five years? We've been married almost eight, you idiot!"
"I don't understand," Levi continued.
"HEY!" a loud voice came from the living room, startling the two.
"Uncle Eren!" the little girl shouted, running up to the newcomer. Hannes fell over as he tried to do the same.
"Hey guys, did y'all get a lot of presents from Santa?" Eren asked the two children.
"Oh, they got everything they asked for, believe me," Mikasa said, giving her adoptive brother a hug.
"Well I hope you guys don't mind more presents," Eren said, reaching into a backpack for two poorly wrapped gifts.
Levi also had not seen Eren for years. The 30 year old shifter already had streaks of gray in his hair, and Levi could tell that he had put on a hefty bit of weight.
Armin then walked in the door, tall, blonde, and handsome, the late bloomer of the trio. Levi saw Armin on a regular basis, and he looked no different in this parallel universe. It was a small comfort.
Levi really just wanted them to leave. But Mikasa welcomed them, her expression one of joy again.
Throughout the conversations, Levi realized the house was Mikasa's childhood home that she reclaimed after the war. She and Levi apparently were gardeners that lived off the land and rented pieces of it to people who had lost their homes in all the destruction while they rebuilt Shinganshina and the areas around it.
Levi remembered the day Mikasa had asked him to go with her. He'd only had one answer: no. Some days he still wondered what would have happened if he had chosen differently, but never allowed himself to linger on it long.
Eren treated him like a friend, very different from what Levi had grown used to in their military days. Gone was the nervous respect. He clapped Levi on the back with every funny remark he made. He played with their children, chatted easily with Mikasa. For the umpteenth time, he pondered his...wife's relationship with the shifter.
"Where is Erwin?" Levi asked suddenly. Mikasa turned around from the stove, tongs in hand, in quiet surprise. She looked at Armin.
Armin's eyebrows came together, also confused. "I suppose he's with his family. He didn't really say much yesterday in the office."
Levi got up, walked outside and saddled one of the horses. He was already gone when Mikasa came out to look for him.
It was an hour ride to Erwin's house, the same house he lived in in the universe Levi wanted back. Luckily he answered the door, surprised to see Levi there, his old partner he had not seen in almost a year.
"Levi! What a surprise," the tall blond said, opening the door. "Is everything alright?"
Levi sighed. Erwin offered him tea, which he thankfully took, and explained his situation. Erwin did not judge him, as Levi knew he wouldn't, but still he could tell Erwin thought he'd simply hit his head a little too hard.
"So you woke up this morning to Mikasa? Whom you haven't seen in five years?" Erwin repeated. Levi nodded. Erwin shrugged his large shoulders and brought his one hand to his scruffy face in thought.
"Levi, I don't know if I can help you; I was there on your wedding day, I was best man. I've seen all the things you just described. It all really did happen."
"No it didn't! I just told you, the crook from last night did this! He visited me this morning to gloat about it!" Levi said.
Erwin held back a chuckle. "Maybe your age is getting to you."
"You're older than me."
"Happy birthday, by the way."
"I just want things to go back to normal, for this dream to end. Maybe it will all be over when I wake up tomorrow. You'll be in your office, I'll be in mine, and we can continue talking about the next expedition to see how few titans are left."
"You stopped working for the Survey Corps ten years ago, Levi."
"Why?"
A pause, then, "You said you were done. You said your squad was leaving and that you didn't want to have to train another. At least those were your words. I figured it was something else." Erwin smiled.
"What? What do you mean?"
"Do you remember that time I caught you and Ackerman? Right after you'd saved Braus and Springer from those abnormals?" Erwin asked.
Levi thought back to very long ago. He did remember; he and Mikasa had gone back to save their teammates. They had worked beautifully together, another greatly executed plan once she finally started listening to him. They had both stood on the back of the steaming 15 meter, chests heaving, adrenaline running through their veins. Mikasa had smiled, something she had done more often of late, and she looked so beautiful. He'd kissed her, and she kissed back, the steam only covering them for so long until a few Corps members spotted them, including the Commander.
Levi had waited for a reprimand for days afterward, keeping his distance from the younger cadet. But it never came. Erwin did not seem to care that Levi was breaking rules, and a few weeks later they continued their affair.
"I figured it had something to do with that…" Erwin continued.
"I remember," Levi said.
Erwin's very pregnant wife walked in then, and their conversation halted. Levi left shortly after, defeated.
He returned home—luckily without getting lost—to an angry Mikasa and two sleepy, cranky children.
"Where were you?" Mikasa demanded when he arrived as he was unsaddling his horse. "You missed almost all of Christmas!"
"I visited Erwin," he replied curtly. She raised a sharp eyebrow. They walked through the yard toward the house. Levi could see the sun setting on the horizon. Mikasa's large property was aglow with orange, green, and blue, the nature a vast difference from the underground he'd grown up in.
Mikasa'a anger slowly ebbed as the night went on. She stared at him every time he searched for something, genuinely starting to worry. She served him dinner, and tea exactly to his liking. He couldn't help but be impressed. He couldn't remember the last time someone had fed him a meal. Zelma made his tea every day, sure, but that was only when he told her to.
"I'm going to take a shower, can you get Hannes and Bell ready for bed?" Mikes asked, walking toward their bedroom.
"What? But—" Levi stuttered, but she was already gone.
Levi cleaned his plate and wearily walked into the kid's room. Little Hannes was playing with his older sister, biting on her dolls while she simply let him. She was more interested in her coloring books anyway.
Levi had no idea what to do. He stood in the doorway for a minute, contemplating whether he should ask Mikasa or not. But Isabel got up from her coloring and handed Levi a book from the little shelf by her bed.
"Daddy?" she asked. Her small face looked worried. "Are you old?"
"Old? Why would you say that?"
"Mommy said today was your birthday. Are you sad because you're old?"
"I'm not old, brat," Levi said. Though the few streaks of gray in his hair said otherwise.
Isabel giggled. "That's what Mommy said you would say." Levi rolled his eyes. Hannes stood up uneasily on his chubby little legs and walked over to the two, grabbing his father's leg with one hand and reaching up with the other one. Levi looked down at him, confused.
"He wants you to pick him up," Isabel said. She knew her father was acting very strange but she did not want to ask him about it.
"Can you give me a run through of what I'm supposed to do at night?" Levi asked Isabel.
"What?" she asked, not understanding his words.
"Like what do I usually do at night?"
"You have to change Hannes' diaper, and then you're supposed to read us a book," Isabel said, pointing at the short book she had given him moments earlier. Levi be worse, he thought.
He changed the younger one's diaper with Isabel's guidance, and then read to the both of them. Hannes fell asleep quickly, but Isabel hung onto his every word, her big eyes never leaving his face. He'd finished two books, and she still wasn't drowsy. She was a night owl like her father.
"Well…aren't you going to fall asleep?" Levi asked the little girl awkwardly while he put Hannes in his crib gently.
"You're supposed to sing me to sleep, Daddy," she whispered. Levi almost snorted. But then her face crumpled in sadness.
"And…I do this every night?" he asked.
She nodded and whispered, "But I'm not supposed to tell Mommy."
He sat back down in the rocking chair. Isabel climbed into his lap, and he started to rock slowly. "I like the one about the lady and her wigs."
Levi knew the song she was talking about. It was one he had grown up hearing. Kenny's wife had sung it to him when he was small. He had forgotten about that, it was such a long time ago. But he could never forget the song. Again Levi was reminded how real this fantasy felt. How could something he had never talked about with anyone, not even Kenny, come back now? He looked down at his daughter, really looked at her, and remembered being her age and looking up at the kind woman who had been taken from him too early. He recalled the words and sang them the same way she had.
He was surprised that Isabel liked the song, even though it had been his own favorite of the many that had put him to sleep years and years ago. It was a sad story about a poor woman who sold her beautiful wigs when her son got very sick so that she could afford his medication. Levi watched as Isabel's eyelids drooped closed. She drooled a bit on his chest in sleep. Levi carefully placed her into her bed. He watched his children sleep from the doorway, heard their light breathing fall in sync.
My children, he thought. I never allowed myself to consider such a thing. And Mikasa…Levi walked to their bedroom, curious as to what was next in his temporary nightly routine. Mikasa was still in the bathroom. He found a pair of clean pajama pants and changed before getting into bed.
Mikasa came out of the bathroom and jumped onto him. "They're asleep?" she asked hurriedly.
Levi stared at her, unsure of what to do. "Yeah, I did it," he said, almost proud of himself. He could kill titans easily, but putting two kids to bed felt like a real feat. Mikasa smiled at him, a new hunger in her eyes.
She abruptly started kissing him, holding him under her weight. Levi froze, his face and body suddenly hot with blush. He had not kissed or touched her in so long. The desire she had for him nearly knocked the air out of him, and he suddenly felt very guilty; he was not the man this woman was in love with. Her husband—her Levi—had chosen her all those years ago. He had not. She deserved the real thing, not this fake life that was only happening because Levi was cruelly being reminded of what he had opted out of.
"Kiss me," Mikasa demanded. Levi shelved his thoughts for the moment and put all his attention on his wife. He ran his fingers through her long silky tresses and kissed her back, his heart thumping excitedly.
"You're not mad at me anymore?" he had to ask.
Mikasa laughed. "No. But I'll let you make it up to me," she said in a sultry voice.
Levi jumped on her train of thought. "And how's that?"
"Hmm, I'll think of something," she replied. She ran her lips along his neck. "But first, I have to give you your present." She then disappeared under the covers and continued her ministrations. Levi couldn't help the gasps that escaped his lips.
"Happy birthday, Levi."
Maybe I did make the wrong choice, he finally admitted to himself.
The rest of the week carried on similarly. Levi found that Isabel was a total Daddy's girl, she followed him everywhere and imitated him often. At first he'd found it extremely annoying, but after a few days he decided he quite liked her company, and she learned quick. They picked crops in the fields early in the mornings, taught little Hannes the colors of the rainbow, drank tea on the front porch, and each night Mikasa and Levi took turns putting the children to bed.
Eventually Levi stopped thinking about whether he would wake up the next morning to his normal life. The snotty nosed screaming wake up calls every morning stopped being so disgusting. And the woman in his bed seemed to get more beautiful each night.
Mikasa was different, but also the same. She exuded happiness, patience, and strength. She wasn't the teenage soldier Levi had pined over, but with each day he found himself falling for her all over again. And sometimes they argued; these were stupid fights. Let the kids pick up after themselves, they will learn that way, Mikasa would say. To which Levi would reply, But the brats don't do it right. Once Levi even suggested Mikasa had grown soft in motherhood, complaining that without training every day they would both grow weak. Mikasa had replied with a swift roundhouse kick which very nearly hit him and shut him up for a while.
On the tenth day of his new life, they went into the city. Erwin's wife had given birth, and everyone was attending a small celebration at their house near Headquarters. Mikasa had sewn a pretty pink dress for the newborn baby girl and baked a cake.
Eren was already there, playing with the kids and teasing Erwin about his new sleep schedule with the baby, before turning on Levi.
"I remember when Isabel was born, Levi wouldn't sleep for shit. Do you remember that? You had heard about that SIDS thing and wouldn't leave the baby alone for even a minute," Eren said, waving his empty glass at his old superior. "You were constantly checking to see if she was breathing."
"Yes, it's no wonder they're attached at the hip," Mikasa said. "The only time I got to hold her was when it was time to feed her. And even then I had to pry her away."
"I half expected you to grow a pair of tits and feed her yourself," Hanji said, walking into the conversation. Everyone laughed while Levi rolled his eyes. He had no idea what they were talking about, but it was nice to know that he seemed like a good father. The thought had nagged at him the last few days. Levi always thought he'd make a poor family man, but this dream seemed to prove otherwise.
Later on Levi was sitting outside with Eren, each drinking bourbon on the rocks, though Levi could tell Eren had already had too much by the way he was talking.
Their conversation about the new commander of the Garrison was halted by the newborn's crying from inside the house. Eren jerked his thumb in the direction of the wails. "Think you and Mikasa will have any more?"
"No," Levi said before Eren could even finish his question. The Titan shifter laughed.
"That's what you said after Isabel." Eren took another sip of his bourbon, his eyes now glazed over, and his forehead sheen with sweat.
"Eren?" Levi asked. "Can I ask you something?"
Eren looked up at him in surprise. Levi never asked before speaking. And he even more rarely called Eren by his name. It was normally "brat" or "Yeager", even after all this time. "Sure," he said hesitantly.
Levi did not want to ask the question that had been on his mind for several years, but he wanted the answer. And why not ask in this world, if it wasn't going to be remembered anyway when he returned to his real life?
"Why didn't you and Mikasa end up together?" he asked, unable to look Eren in the eye.
Eren was certainly surprised by the question, but still answered after thinking it over. "I don't know. Everyone seemed to think we would, didn't they? I guess I thought we would too, after the revolution. But I tried…uh…I don't know if you want to hear this, Captain."
"Go on," Levi said in a dead tone.
"Well, I tried to kiss her the night after our last victory. I don't know if she ever told you that. But she refused me. It never occurred to me that she would have had someone else. Dumb thinking on my part, I guess. And then a few months later you two got hitched." Eren took another sip of his drink nervously.
Levi didn't know what to say. From the way it sounded, Mikasa had chosen him over Eren. This whole time, Levi thought she had simply picked him because the one she really wanted didn't want her back. And truthfully this thought had a large impact on his decision not to follow her all those years ago; he thought she'd leave once Eren Yeager finally returned her romantic feelings for him.
Levi suddenly felt very ashamed of his lack of confidence in Mikasa. He realized how unfair he had been to her own feelings. He had the urge to return home. He wanted to fall asleep by his wife's side tonight, and wake up to her every morning. He wanted to tuck in their snotty nosed brats, and stare at the little faces that resembled him and her. He wanted to look out the window and see nothing but green for miles, and smell the clean air from outside their little house.
The last ten days had been hard, confusing, and wonderful. And of course, once they returned home, as Levi was taking out the trash, a familiar face made itself present.
The man responsible was standing by the mailbox, waiting for Levi. The crook—or whatever he truly was—had a calm expression, but Levi reacted as if he were the Grim Reaper, come to drag him into hell.
"No," Levi said immediately, before he could say anything, "No, you can't do this." He tried to remain calm, but he knew what was coming.
"I told you, Corporal. It was only temporary," he replied.
Levi shook his head, his hands starting to itch in stress. "Can't you just leave it this way?"
"I'm sorry, but you should know that I can't do that. This all depended on you, and how long it took for you to realize what you really wanted."
"Oh, and now that I've realized it, you're going to take it away from me?" Levi said.
"I have taken nothing from you. You denied it from yourself."
Levi ran his hands through his hair. He was accustomed to life being unfair. But he didn't know how much more he could take.
"Please," Levi said, the word foreign on his tongue. "At least give me more time."
"There's nothing I can do," the man replied. "Remember these last several days, Corporal. And know that you always have a choice."
The man disappeared into thin air before Levi's disbelieving eyes.
"No," Levi said again. Not again. Levi knew then that the next morning he would be back in the city, working under Erwin, with work heavy on his shoulders and emptiness heavy in his heart. But he didn't want to dwell on it, not while happiness still waited for him inside.
It was Mikasa's turn to put the kids to bed, but Levi told her he would do it anyway. He walked into their room to find them already asleep, exhausted from the trip and the festivities of the day. He picked up his five year old daughter anyway, and carried her to the rocking chair. He sang to her before returning her sleeping form to her bed. He laid kisses on their foreheads, and took in Hannes' sweet baby scent one last time, committing it to memory.
Then Levi walked to his bedroom and found Mikasa half asleep, the book in her hand falling down slowly. He ran his hand through her silky hair, goading her awake.
"Mm," she mumbled sleepily. "Hi."
"Hi," Levi replied. He hovered over her and kissed her lips softly. She slowly awakened and responded, pulling him closer to her.
He made love to her twice, never taking his eyes away from her.
"I'm going to miss you most," he whispered to her afterward as she was drifting asleep.
She smiled sweetly. "Miss me? I'm not going anywhere." She yawned. "This is my place, by your side." Her place had always been next to him, on the battlefield, in his bed, in life.
Levi only wrapped his arms tighter around her, not wanting to think about that. He tried to stay awake, listening to Mikasa's light snoring and hoping against hope that everything would be the same tomorrow.
But sleep was inevitable, and Levi woke the next morning in his small house, with no crying and the loud absence of a warm body by his side. The pillow he had fallen asleep holding Christmas Eve was there. Levi got out of bed, the pristine clean sheets he took pride in no longer a welcome sight. The floor was cold, and his house was silent.
He walked around anyway, still hoping that they would be there, miraculously following him through universes. But they weren't. The calendar on his refrigerator read December 25th. None of it had happened. Some birthday present, Levi thought.
Levi got dressed and went into work. Zelma was there; he had told her to be there even after she asked for the day off. It was another thing to add to his guilt. But just as he was about to tell her to leave, he noticed the garbage can next to her desk and remembered what had transpired the day before.
He instantly leapt for the trash, pulling out papers, a banana peel, chewed gum. He didn't even think about the nastiness, focused only on finding the little piece of paper he'd thrown what felt like forever ago.
"Sir!" Zelma shrieked. "What are you doing?" To see Corporal Levi, bent over on the floor, digging through her trash, the cadet-turned-secretary didn't know what to think other than that her clean freak of a superior had gone mad.
"Where is it? It was right at the top," Levi exclaimed, dumping everything out to dig through the pile.
"AHA!" he said triumphantly, whipping the yellow sticky note up to his face, as if it were a trophy.
"Sir?" Zelma said.
He finally seemed to notice that she was still there, and stood up, cleaning himself off, somewhat embarrassed of his behavior.
"You can take the rest of the day off, Zelma. And tomorrow if you'd like," he replied, his voice back to its normal bored tone.
Zelma wasn't going to ask any more questions. She grabbed her coat and left, only later realizing what he had been digging for.
Levi looked at the sticky note he'd thrown away, and realized the address did not match the house he had been in the last ten days.
Levi found the place easily, right on the outskirts of the city. He knew that Eren lived around here, had heard about it from Armin, but he didn't know about Mikasa. He had once heard that she was working for the Training Regiment, helping Shadis school young new soldiers. But he had held his curiosity in.
He knocked on the apartment door nervously, unsure of how Mikasa would react. Another woman answered the door. She was about Mikasa's age, blond and a bit round in the middle, her kind blue eyes widening when she realized who was at the door.
"Captain Levi? Can I help you?" she said.
"Levi?" he heard Mikasa's voice from behind the woman, and then the door opened further to reveal her.
There was silence as the two took each other in, and Mikasa's roommate took the queue to leave.
"Ackerman," Levi said. He observed her, noticing how hard her body still was, not the mother figure he'd grown used to in his dreams. Her skin was slightly darker than he remembered, and her hair was longer than it had been in her military days, but still shorter than in the dream.
"Would you like to come in?" Mikasa asked. She showed no emotion at seeing him again, but she didn't seem angry. Levi took this as a good sign. He walked into her apartment, avoiding the many packed boxes scattered on the floor.
She walked to one of the boxes and held it out for him to look. "This is what I called you about yesterday." Inside the box were ten Survey Corps emblems he had cut from dead soldiers' jackets over the years. There was also an old teacup he had left in her room during one of their nightly visits so very long ago. "I thought you might like them back."
Levi briefly wondered why she had not given them back to him when she had moved away from base. Maybe she had wanted to keep them to remember him by. He didn't want them back. He just wanted her.
"Where are you moving to?" he asked.
She smiled then, her face sad but hopeful. "I finally got the OK to take my family's land back. I decided to move back there. I probably could have gone back a long time ago, but I just wasn't ready yet."
Our home, Levi thought. "And you are now?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I think so."
"When are you leaving?"
"Tonight." Levi could tell she was nervous. He didn't know how he would feel about returning to a place with so many bad memories. But he knew it was possible to create happy ones. He remembered Hannes sitting on the kitchen floor, banging pots together while Mikasa brewed their afternoon tea. The racket had annoyed the shit out of Levi, but it was adorable all the same.
"Mikasa." Levi started even though he had no idea what to say. "I'm so sorry for what happened the night you left." He looked down at his shoes. He was shit at apologies. "I—you were right. I should have left the Corps when you asked me to. There are so many things that could have been different."
He built up the courage to look at her. Her expression remained unchanged, but the sadness in her eyes told him he had really hurt her back then, more so than she had let on.
"What makes you say that now, eight years later?" she asked.
Levi briefly contemplated telling her the truth. "I don't know. I guess you could say I woke up this morning and didn't lie to myself for once. I made the wrong choice."
He reached for her hand, and took it between his own. It was warm and still calloused from her days as a soldier. He knew she was still mad at him, and an apology wasn't going to immediately nullify that. "Please don't go tonight."
He saw the indecision in her gaze. She owed him nothing, and he knew she would not want to seem weak by giving in to him. But Mikasa Ackerman was the opposite of weak.
"I've seen what our life could be like," Levi continued quietly. "If you go now, you will be fine, and I will be fine. But it won't be as good as it could be." She was quiet for a moment, thinking.
"What do you want, Levi?" She had asked the same words eight years ago, when he immediately turned down leaving the Legion. Do you want me to beg you? Because I'm not going to, she had said. He had not known what he wanted then, but he couldn't tell her that. Now his desires were all right before him. He couldn't let her leave again, not without him.
"I want to know you again. I want to take you to our favorite tea shop on Conway Street and climb the hospital building to look at the stars like we used to. I want you…" he said. I just want you. "Let me take you out tonight."
She smiled softly, a genuine, small curve that moved her entire face with it. It was the smile he remembered, the one she reserved only for him.
"Okay," she said.
Thanks for reading!