A/N: Okay, this might not really be me, kinda angsty, but I found it on my computer from having written it a few months ago and decided that I might as well post it. The italics are from the song "She Rides Wild Horses" by Kenny Rogers.
Disclaimer: I don't own House, or Cuddy, or Kenny Rogers…although I do own a copy of the CD She Rides Wild Horses. But anyway, no copyright infringement was intended, I'm just having a little fun.
It's just her, the night nurses, and the janitorial staff in the building when Lisa finally looks up from her paperwork. Seeing the time, she swears under her breath. She'd half planned on being home early tonight…or at least before it was completely dark. She'd had good intentions of going for a run; especially since lately her morning run had been replaced by sleeping in as much as possible. Not to mention that it was late fall, and it was still pitch black at 6 a.m. anyway. She softly padded across the carpet, her stocking feet silent on the carpet. She slid both feet into her new pumps, grimacing as her newly formed blister grazed the side of the shoe, reminding her of why she'd taken them off in the first place. She'd shown up that morning in her power suit and 3-inch pumps, looking like a cross between a business woman and a fashion model. Some doctors, notably a certain diagnostician, tended to comment on the outfits she wore and how they were a bit more revealing than was necessary, but secretly she enjoyed the feeling of having all eyes on her when she walked into a room. A chill ran down her spine when she could walk into a crowded ballroom at a benefit and steal the attention away from the likes of Alison Cameron without any effort at all. Still, at moments like this when she'd long abandoned her shoes and had thrown her hair up into a messy ponytail, she wondered what the point of it all was. She shook her head, deciding to spare herself the internal debate, knowing that regardless of her thoughts that night, she would still put the same effort in come morning.
She gathered her purse and keys, and left the office in the dark. She didn't bother to put away the things she'd been reading, or even tidy the space. It was futile to do so when she'd just get it out again less than 8 hours later. She nodded courteously at the janitor as she passed him, but in truth she barely saw him. She made her way to her car, and then drove home, her mind wandering aimlessly throughout the drive. One hand on the wheel, the other kneading the knots at the base of her neck; when she finally pulled into her driveway she had no recollection of the drive whatsoever. She shrugged off her coat before she'd even closed and locked the door behind her, then dropped her coat, keys, and purse inside the door. She didn't bother to turn on the lights, but she moved around her house with a familiar ease, checking her answering machine and feeding her cat. Her elderly neighbour had gone into the hospital a few months ago with a stroke, and Cuddy had agreed to mind the animal while she was there. Unfortunately, the old woman had been permanently moved to a nursing home with no pets permitted. Lisa had resolved to take the animal to a shelter, but she'd never gotten around to it. Hell, it's not like it was any trouble. In fact, it couldn't care less if she was gone all day, as long as it got fed eventually. As much as Lisa wished she would be missed by someone, she was at least glad to have a warm body in her bed on occasion.
When she reaches her bedroom, she gazes longingly at the ensuite bath for a moment, before deciding that she was far too exhausted. The luxury of a long soak in the tub took a back seat to getting enough sleep to properly function, so she changed into a nighty and crawled into bed. She momentarily wondered at the point of her expensive lingerie when there was no one around to appreciate it.
She's fallen in love a time or two, somehow all of her dreams fell through. But she's strong; she carries on. Her life ain't always gonna be this way, she knows she's gonna shine someday.
It's not like she'd never had dreams. Sure, she'd dreamed of being in a position like the one she had now, and she'd worked incredibly hard to get where she was. She just hadn't known that she would have to sacrifice her other dreams to get there. But she was confident that one day she would get those things that she'd always wanted. Sometimes she thought about them; her mother's tears at her wedding, the feel of the skin of a newborn baby, her own tears at her own daughter's wedding. She'd given up on trying to force them to come true, so for now, she'll escape 'til the dawn.
In her dreams she rides wild horses. And they carry her away on the wind. And they never make a sound as they fly above the ground. At night she rides wild horses again.
It's not as though they fixed her, or took away her hurt. It's not that they made House less of an asshole, or her job less demanding, or her sorrow less acute. But in the morning, she'd awake fresh, and some of the hopelessness from the night before would be gone. She'd start again, a fresh start, a new beginning. It's why she always faced the world with a fresh face and hope in her heart.
In her dreams she rides wild horses.
And they carry her away on the wind.
And they never make a sound as they fly above the ground.
At night she rides wild horses again.
A.N.: Anyway, I really appreciate reviews! Love ya'll!