A/N: A bit of light hearted humor(hopefully) to get over my writers block. This story is completed, so there will be regular updates. Would love feedback
Disclaimer: I do not in any way profit from the story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.
Tony has seen a lot of strange things in his life, and to be fair he's either directly or indirectly responsible for most of them but the sight of the mild mannered Dr. Bruce Banner standing on top of his dining table clutching a table knife in hand and a newspaper in the other and has to make the top ten, easily.
"Hey Bruce," Tony says cheerfully as he makes his way over to the coffee pot, because he can roll with the unexpected. It's one of his best qualities. "Is this some new form of anger management?"
Bruce croaks something unintelligible at him.
"Huh?"
Bruce clears his throat and tries again, with the same result. Tony takes a closer look and realizes with a shock that the other man looks absolutely terrified. He feels his good humor leave immediately, "Are you okay? Were you attacked? JARVIS, scan the room for any intruders immediately and alert the others that there's an emergency."
Bruce finally succeeds in clearing his throat and says, "Behind you…spider!"
"Spider?" Tony turns around and sure enough, there's a spider scuttling around on the counter. It looks small enough to fit on the tip of his finger. "Really, Bruce?"
Bruce shrugs, but makes no move to climb down off the table.
"Fine, I'll get rid of it." He reaches up and grabs the newspaper from Bruce's grip and goes to swish it.
"No, don't kill it please. I saw one get killed one once and these tiny baby spiders climbed off its back and filled the room."
"Doc, this one looks like a baby itself."
"Just please don't."
"Alright, feel free to stand up there as long as you want. My dining table is your dining table. And if any of the others object to your feet being in the same place as their food, that's their problem."
"Could you maybe trap it or something?"
Tony obliges. He can be helpful too, another one of his nice qualities.
Some of the color returns to Bruce's face and he climbs down somewhat unsteadily just as Thor bursts into the room, wielding the Mjölnir. He's closely followed by Steve and Clint. Natasha follows a second later, in uniform and not a hair out of place. Tony makes a mental note to ask her how she always does that, possibly when she is in one of her rare mellow moods.
"The threat has been contained," Tony announces proudly, indicating the upturned coffee cup to the group.