Ezio's Last Adventure
Chapter One
Recollection
It all started when Ezio awoke in a cave darker than the shadows themselves.
"Where am I?" he wondered. The last thing he remembered was, well he doesn't remember. He looked into the distance and noticed a nicely clad woman running from what appeared to be a giant boulder.
"You do not see that every day in Florence." the woman finally managed to get away from the rock; she sat on the ground panting. Ezio approached her silently; he was not sure whether she was friend… or foe. The woman tensed as if she sensed something, and jerked her head back to Ezio's position. Fortune smiled upon Ezio, because there was a bale of hay randomly placed in the cave. He jumped into the hay and hit his head on a stone, also, randomly placed inside of the cave.
"Odd." he mumbled rubbing his head under the strands of hay.
"I know you are there, now come out." she snapped not looking back. Ezio decided he'd find out who she was instead of stare at her as if she were some type of eye candy.
"Who are you?" Ezio asked as he walked into view.
"I am Lara Croft, Tomb Raider." she stated, she smiled as if it were something to brag about.
"That shits illegal in the US of A." another person said stepping out of the shadows; his arms were made of bulky metal plates. Ezio could only imagine what he did with those clunks. Flashes of skull bashings suddenly went through his head; better be nice to him.
"And who are you?" the black man asked.
"I am, Ezio Auditore da Firenze. I am an ass-"
"Speak in English please, Jax is Americano." Lara interrupted.
"So you're an ass?" Jax sneered.
"No, I'm an assass-" Ezio tried but Jax's wouldn't let him get a word out.
"So you visit gay bars all the time? One of those types huh?"
"No! I am an assassin." Ezio finished in relief.
"I still think you're gay." Jax mumbled. Ezio was in disbelief, was it his skirt? Regardless it was passed down from his father. It was the ultimate fashion statement. 'Never trust men in skirts'.
"You wouldn't say that if you knew my body count in Florence." Ezio smiled thinking of all of the girls of Italy he had his way with.
"Enough boys. We obviously have a problem. We are all here, and we shouldn't be. Something is wrong." Lara pointed out the obvious. She grabbed her stomach before leaning over as if she was falling off of the titanic; Ezio was convinced as Lara had let one rip; though it felt like one thousand.
"It couldn't be any more obvious baby." Jax thought he had a chance with her. Did he like what she had just committed to? The foul stench that was now chasing away the already limited oxygen in the cave?
"For the record, I'm only into European men." she was dropping hints to Jax that she liked Ezio. Jax didn't seem to like being put off.
"Seriously, the gay guy?" the cave was silent for a moment. The sound of mechanical legs entered the room; so Ezio thought. He imagined some type of tool the Templar must have devised to kill assassins.
"You guys hear that?" Jax stopped flexing his arms, "I don't hear anything." Jax replied.
"I think we should get out of here." Ezio offered as Lara's stench met his nostrils. It wasn't a bad idea; that air burnt. It was the foulest smell he'd ever come across, and Ezio's been around a lot of dead people.
"You are probably right, how about we head outside." Lara suggested waving the smell from herself. Lara was beginning to disgust Ezio to an utmost degree. To think Ezio had even thought her to be, 'attractive'.
"Has that entrance been there the entire time?" Ezio asked as he noticed the next random obstacle the cave decided to place.
"No, it appeared a few seconds ago." Lara said smiling. "Gross!" Ezio thought. This girl was getting more and more disturbing. The threesome walked outside, where the colors were dim and dark but Ezio had no clue where they were.
"So where are we? The Templar could be seen in a place like this, if they are behind it all alas." Ezio suggested. Where they were, none of them knew. But they were all in for a rough night.