Constructive criticism is always welcome!
Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own Captain America: The First Avenger or any characters and places associated with Marvel Comics and Paramount Pictures. No profit is made from the writing for this fanfiction!
He was gone, vanished into the ice and I had been left sat listening to the snow force its way through the radio as everyone walked around me like even though victory had come with the sacrifice of one of the world's only true heroes it was still worthy of celebration and laughter and joy, like he has been nothing in this war of inhuman greed, hunger and hatred.
Sickness, hurt, anger, bitterness, weakness… I couldn't tell. Undeniable pain surged through every part of me as they watched on, I might as well have been plunged into that wall of ice myself with nothing to grab onto but the water around me, like glass shards forcing their way into my flesh. With my eyes closed against them and tears tearing their way through, I has stood, legs feeble under me, aching and fell into your awaiting arms.
My mind had gone blank for days after that. It had all been like a harsh dream but looking into your eyes now I remembered. I remembered how you had come by my side. I remembered how you stayed strong. I remembered how you caught me when it all became too much.
You knew me like we were one and the same, as you had experienced it, so was I. You knew I would be here. Slowly, I looked down at my pocket watch and flicked it open, the picture of him looking so vacantly out from it and I smiled sadly.
8:01pm, I couldn't help but giggle. You knew how to make me laugh even when I truly believed that I couldn't. Putting my pocket watch away and straightening out my dress, I watched you approach me, my heart which had remained weeping from that night was warmed slightly with every step closer you took.
"I know that I'm not who you were expecting." You paused as you got to me, your face all unsure and nervous. I had never seen you like that before; you, the only person I had ever met who was so sure in themselves they had no room for doubt. You whose boisterous actions would have you dive into danger head first without regard of anything but the answers you seek.
I am sure there were plenty need for words but neither of us used them, I was grateful to you for that. Heat shot through my hand as you took it, and my chest as you took my waist, spinning me into dance.
Was I still broken? Yes, I could still hear the shattered remains of everything he'd left behind rattling in my head but with every moment you sent gentle pulses of warmness over me, melting the ice that had taken over my body, clearing the snow which still buzzed in my ears till all I could hear was the mellow jazz.
For the first time since… then, I began to feel whole. Like given time, someday, I would be able to leave the pain behind, move on, be happy.
I spun under your arm, smiling gently has you pulled me back in, catching my foot accidentally as you did so. I was frozen, his voice echoing in my head just before the radio ripped his voice away. I saw my reaction reflected in your face as the pain flooded back.
"Peggy." You took my cheek into you warm hand and I looked up at you, into your eyes, curling my face into you hand as I did so.
Someday, yes definitely someday but not today.
"Howard."
Thanks for reading!