"A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance."

Anatole France

Artemis looked around. He could not recall how he happened upon this place. He had just been walking to the other room to ask Butler to fix him some Earl Grey, and now he was here. In a forest.

How odd.

"A bend in space, perhaps," he concluded. It would be just his luck. Or lack thereof. He glanced around curiously. It was also possible he had fallen asleep at the computer. It would not have been unlike him.

The trees were rather tall. Artemis could not conceive of why he would dream about trees or forests.

A woman walked out of the trees shade. Her walk was impatient, as if the pace did not suit her. She was exceedingly beautiful, Artemis noticed, and she was paler than he was. Quite the accomplishment.

"Can I help you?" she asked. A voice like bells. "Not the best place to be lost."

Artemis looked at her doubtfully. Possibly the bend in space brought him here, for he could not think of a reason for him to dream about this woman.

"I do not believe you can help me," Artemis told her.

"Uhm, ok," she said, looking at Artemis skeptically. Artemis smiled his vampire smile, having no idea the complete irony of the action.

"Have you seen anyone other than me?" the woman asked. "My family and I were . . . hiking . . . and became separated." She looked rather doubtful that Artemis had an answer to her question.

"I have seen no one else," Artemis told her truthfully. "I only just arrived myself." The idea of hiking was very unappealing to him and he hoped he would not have to. Butler had not been able so far to persuade Artemis to work on his physique and Artemis hoped to make that the case for as long as he could afford it.

Artemis did not know what to do now. An unusual thing for him.

"I must be off," the woman said, glancing very quickly at the sky and then walking back into the shadows. Artemis' eyes were stunned as the sun came out from behind the clouds. He too decided the trees would be better that the small clearing he stood in.

Once under the trees, Artemis found himself still unsure of how to proceed. He did not wish to calculate the odds of another space bend appearing in the same location.

Suddenly, Artemis' wrist communicator buzzed. Artemis' checked, only to see Foaly had contacted him.

"Artemis?" Foaly said, his face appearing in the window. He was so anxious that his foil hat was coming off and he didn't seem to notice or care.

"Yes, Foaly?" Artemis asked.

"No1 has warped space-time. I'm trying to piece everything back together to pinpoint your location, but my satellites are out. And my scanners. All of them. Where are you?"

"I can't be sure. Forested area. Any idea where Holly is and how you can contact me?"

"Nope. Everything's messed up. It's almost like someone's mind-wiped everyone. You're the first person to know anything is different."

Artemis sighed in frustration. Why must he always save the world from fairy mistakes and villains?

"Wait," Foaly said, tapping an out of site monitor. "I'm getting a small signal near you. That must be how we're talking right now. I'm seeing about five people other than you . . . that's odd, one's moving at incredible speed towards you . . ."

Then the communicator lost signal. Then Artemis found himself suddenly looking at the dirt more closely than he'd have liked. Great; his suit was sure to be grass stained.

There was a growling sound.

"Where are my family?" snarled the object pinning Artemis down.

"I assure you I'd be more help standing," Artemis grunted.

Before he knew it, he was standing. He brushed the dirt off of himself and glared at the grass stains he'd anticipated.

"Now, what did you want?" Artemis asked.

The beautiful woman stood there, stone still. She didn't seem to be breathing other than an uneven moving of her chest that Artemis though was merely a show of breathing.

"You were talking to someone with coordinates," she snarled.

Artemis sighed. The woman could be of help, though. "I am Artemis Fowl II. You are?"

"Bella Cullen," she hissed, seeming to relax slightly. She turned her head oddly to the side and seemed to take a breath.

"I can't get your coordinates unless I can get my communication back."

"What do you need?"

"Have you seen any electronics around here capable of sending messages?"

"There was a satellite crashed near here. I don't know if it still works or not, though. It looks pretty mangled, though the fact it didn't disintegrate in the atmosphere is strange."

"That would be good," Artemis agreed.

She angled her head again to take a breath. Then said, "This way."

She lead him in a direction he would have considered north if he didn't know all of space and time had been warped in a possibly irreversible manner. Artemis mulled over the improbability that No1 had warped all of time-space. He was powerful, but was he that powerful? No, Artemis did not believe so. There had to be another factor. Not to mention, what would No1 have been doing to cause such a thing?

Artemis sighed.

Then tripped. As he got up, Bella stared at him. He looked at his scraped palms in frustration and then turned to see what he had tripped over. He was normally more observant than that.

Lying on the ground was a very fictional-looking, half-sheathed, short-sword. Artemis picked it up carefully and looked it over.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"Sting," Artemis said carefully, unsure of his own assumption. But he had the Lord of the Rings books all memorized; there was no doubt about it.

"What is going on?" he wondered allowed.

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked. "That things been lying there forever. Doesn't look special to me."

Artemis suddenly realized what Foaly had meant about everyone seeming mind-wiped.