Gold had never been so terrified in his life. His darling Belle was now in surgery over him. He never should have brought her with him. He should have left her at the shop, used the potion, then gone back to say goodbye. It never should have happened like this. He needed his Belle. He needed his love.
Nothing felt worse than having to sit in the waiting room a wait for word of his beloved's condition. He wanted to storm into the operating room and hold her hand as they worked on her. Alas, he could not, so he was stuck here, sitting right beside the door, waiting for any word on her progress. He couldn't seem to get her words out of his head. Who's Belle? He needed to fix this. He would do anything to get her back. If it meant making a deal with the devil herself, he would do it. All he wanted was his love back in his arms, warm, safe, full of love, full of joy, and never feeling any pain.
Who's Belle?
Those words hung over him like the plague. In all his years as the Dark One, losing his son, his wife, learning she had thrown herself from a tower, losing the cup to her no good father, everything he'd done in his life had filled him with pain, but none so much as this did.
Belle.
His sweet, innocent Belle. Beautiful, kind, sweet, joyful, loving, and dearest Belle; he feared he would never have her back. No! He mustn't think that way. He would find a way, there has to be a way. He needed her back.
If he couldn't, life was not worth living.
The doors beside him swung open and Dr. Whale walked out of the restricted hallway and scanned the waiting room, clearly never seeing Mr. Gold. HE jumped up faster than his leg would like of him. "Dr. Whale,"
Dr. Whale turned to him with a small smile for Gold. "Mr. Gold, Belle's going to be fine." Gold felt a wave of relief wash over him, his legs gave out and he fell back into the chair. She was going to be fine, it wasn't possible for her to gain her memories, but it was a good start to keep his mind in one place.
"Thank god." He breathed, his head was spinning, he never thought he could be so happy in this type of situation.
"The bullet missed all major arteries, caused no major damage. It didn't go through the shoulder, which made it a little trickier, but other than that, she's in perfect health." He hesitated, seeming to struggle to find words to go on. "As for her memory…." He trailed off. Gold closed his eyes and tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall. "She doesn't remember anything about home, she's curious as to why she's out of the asylum, a little frightened, and she wants to know who 'Belle' is." Gold stopped fighting. The tears fell freely. His sweet Belle; his sweet, innocent, beauty. Why did this have to happen to her? "Mr. Gold, she wants to see you."
Gold was back up in an instant. "She does? What does she know about me?"
Dr. Whale shook his head. "Nothing. She wants to thank you for saving her, and I suggest you let her. Perhaps if you spend some time together, some of her memories will return to her or she'll feel comforted by having someone to care for her."
Gold nodded. A million things were going through his mind, if he kissed her maybe that would work, no, she's been through a lot, best not to push her. "Her father, I want him kept out for a while. He's tried to poison her against me when she had her memories, without them… well, I don't want to think about that. Please, can you do this for me?"
Dr. Whale hesitated, and then slowly nodded. "I can try, she doesn't know him in her mind, and so a stranger coming in to see her could upset her more. Do you want to go see her?" Gold nodded his head and slowly started walking down the hall with Dr. Whale.
Belle.
Belle.
Belle.
He needed to see her, so badly. But he had to be able to restrain the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her to death. He would have to be careful with her, protect her. He couldn't risk Hook coming back for her, and if he got his hands on that no good stinking pirate, he was going to rip him to pieces and feed them to Archie's dog. Pongo would surely enjoy the snack.
Pongo. He remembered Belle's face when he had first brought Pongo into his shop to extract his memories. He'd been searching for a dog since, seeing how it made Belle look when he interacted with the dog. He had hoped it would make Belle happy, and when he left to go look for Bae, he would leave the dog with her, another reason to come back, to comfort her that he would truly come back for her. But now, if he couldn't get her memories back, he didn't know if he could ever come back to this town.
Belle, why did this have to happen to you? If only he could go back in time and change this, crossing back over the line to drive her home, quickly wrapped the shawl around Belle as she fell to the ground, saving her memories, pushing her back so she wouldn't fall over the line, anything to change the way the night had turned out.
He stopped walking as they approached Belle's room, where he turned to Dr. Whale. "What does she believe her name is?" He asks quietly, in the smallest of whispers.
Dr. Whale placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, offering comfort to him. "Sarah, Sarah Walsh." And with that he left, leaving Gold standing beside the door, his hand on the handle and slowly pushing the door open to see his love.
To be continued