Hey everyone! I am a HUGE Kyman fan so this is my first story, which I have actually been working on for a minute. I originally got the idea for this songfic after seeing the amazing Fire Escape Kyman AMV by Eli Haas here a couple of years ago and have been wanting to write a songfic for it since:
watch?v=9ujx_u4NqFI
Enjoy and PLEASE lmk what you thought!
Disclaimer: I do not own this song or the characters of South Park.
Hey Dark Eyes
Rest with me awhile as I drift closer to sleep
The redhead stared at his reflection as he brushed his teeth.
*Is this such a good idea?* He thought to himself.
His question was answered when he jumped in response to a loud thunder clap, followed by vivid flashes of lightning coming through the blinds in Cartman's bathroom.
*I guess I don't really have a choice….. It's 2:00 and I don't know if I'll make it back in this weather.*
It had been a few months since the two 'frenemies' had seen each other. They both went to different colleges and lived almost an hour apart. Distance aside, the two "friends" used to see each other quite often about a year ago. But little did these two know that those blissful times would soon be short-lived. In fact, it had only been about 2 months ago that they have tried to pick up on where their friendship left off.
But still cannot
But still cannot find no peace
Kyle slowly turned the bathroom light off and closed the door as he awkwardly walked into Cartman's room, finding his chubby friends laying in bed, but watching him, as if expectedly.
"Ummm," Kyle said "I can sleep on the couch…. Do you have an extra blanket or pillow?"
"No," Cartman quickly answered, his voice flat. "Just sleep here."
Kyle motioned over to the left side of the bed and pointed, since Cartman was lying on the right side. "Here?" He asked
"No, over there on the floor." He scoffed. "I don't care what side you choose, just pick one and stay on it!" Cartman commented sarcastically.
Kyle rolled his eyes. *Why does he go out of his way to be such an asshole?* He thought.
And you let go of the glass at our feet
Cartman was laying on his side, his back to Kyle as the Jew slowly lifted the cover and got in bed. Copying Cartman, Kyle laid the opposite way, so that he too would not be facing his friend.
Thus commenced the long awkward silence.
Kyle coughed. For some odd reason, he had something in his throat and it was tickling him. He waited a minute, but it was still there! He coughed again. Still something wasn't right. *Cartman's going to get pissed if I cough a third time….* He thought.
Try as he could, after another minute his throat still wasn't clear.
Kyle coughed again.
"GODDAMMIT YOU STUPID JEW!" Cartman sat up abruptly, pushing forward the sheets to loudly yell at the redhead.
"I can't help it, asshole!" In turn, Kyle propped himself up to in order to properly get in his chunky friend's face to stand up for himself.
"Are you sick or something?! Well, I don't want whatever you have!"
"No, Cartman!" Kyle yelled. "There was something in my throat!"
After sighing in an exaggerating manner, Cartman laid back down, this time on his back. After a minute of silence, he began chuckling.
"What?!" Kyle yelled, still sitting up.
"Heheheh, nahh, it's nuthin' Kahl!" Cartman kept giggling, as if he had an awesome secret and a new-found power over Kyle for knowing something that he did not.
"Tell me, fatass!" The redhead yelled.
"Heheheheh, nahh, I was just thinking', Kahl…" He turned his head to face his angry friend. "Hahahah, I was just thinking, 'I BET there was something in your throat, you faggot-Jew! Hahahaha!"
Kyle rolled his eyes in the dark. "Like YOU'VE never gone down on a guy either, asshole!"
Kyle came out two years ago. He never told his family, not even his little brother. But he decided to tell his closest friends that he was gay. Not long after that, Cartman approached Kyle with a "preposition"; that the two of them could "fool around", as long as there were no feelings attached. Kyle had no idea that Cartman swung that way. Sure, Cartman was no Romeo, but he dated a few girls here and there and overall, he seemed straight. But he told Kyle that he wanted to try fooling around with a guy- that he was both physically attracted to and trusted- just to try it. Up to that point, Kyle had never casually fooled around with anyone, guy or girl. He only chose to get physical with whoever he was dating.
It rained through the night
Cartmen shrugged. "Just you, so what? That doesn't make me gay."
"You've…." Kyle slowly turned his head over his right shoulder to look at Cartman, and his body followed. "You… Haven't hooked up with another guy since… Two years ago?" He asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.
"Ehh," The larger of the two men was laying on his back, hands behind his head, and his eyes glued to the ceiling, as if all the answers were on there. He shrugged. "Nah. Not really. Hooked up with several chicks since then, of course, but nah. Dudes aren't really mah thing, Kahl."
Kyle sighed silently. He got on his left side again, curling up a bit.
*He didn't give a shit then, why would he give a shit now?* He thought.
And you take the fire escape
Run down the street to the church
"But… You said you enjoyed it, right?" The redhead asked, almost in a defeated tone. Then he quickly added, "I mean, back THEN."
"Yes, Kahl! I TOLD you back then! It was fucking hot as hell, but I'm not gay!" Cartman barked, turning his head in Kyle's direction. The brunette finally laid back on his right side, his back facing Kyle again.
"I just told you, Kahl. I'm not like that. I'm not gay."
"I know." The Jew whispered.
The two laid there for a second. Then Kyle broke the silence;
"I just wish things didn't end the way they ended."
Then, after what seemed to be a solid minute, Cartman responded:
"Me too."
Hey murderer
As Kyle and Cartman continued to have their secret "rendez-vous", Kyle hated that he found himself developing feelings for his chubby, childhood friend.
*Not HIM!* He would think to himself. He did his best to suppress these irrational feelings, especially whenever he was on his way to meet his mischievous friend. But then, when Kyle arrived at the coffee shop to meet Cartman being going to his apartment, the redhead couldn't help but feel butterflies in his heart as soon as he spotted his friend sitting down in a lounge chair with a beige, leather jacket, a black scarf, and ripped up jeans. Cartman's big, brown eyes shined as he flashed his usual devilish grin to Kyle as soon as he spotted him.
*Sure, he's actually decent in bed, but how in the world am I letting myself actually have feelings for an asshole like him?!*
Deep down, Kyle knew he was setting himself up for failure.
Sure enough, he was right.
Hey murderer
The killing keeps us close enough
"Ah don't know, Kahl. Let's not talk about that. The important thing is, you and me are kewl now, even though it took long enough."
And it was true. One night, when Kyle hinted that he had developed feelings for Cartman, Cartman snapped and said some very hurtful things to his Jewish friend. Feeling defeated, Kyle then found his solace at the bottom of a bottle. That is, the bottomless bottle of all his personal doubts and fears. The doubt of ever really being a "good" Jew, the doubt of his sexuality, the doubt of his feelings for Cartman, the fear of who he really is as a person, the fear of "coming out" to his religious family, and worse of all, the fear of failing as a human being…. Which Kyle Broflovski felt like he already had in his young life..
Hey Murderer
Every breath you still is a breath that I breath for
"Cartman…?"
Kyle gingerly said his name. The larger boy sighed.
"Yes, Jew?"
Kyle pulled his pillow closer to his body, trying to gather what he was going to say. "You know, back after…. Things didn't work between us," He paused, having felt strange saying that. "When I got arrested and all that stuff… It wasn't your fault."
Cartman sighed, again. "I already knew that it wasn't my fault, Jew." He said, his voice perhaps showing a tiny bit of empathy. Then, about half a second later, he asked;
"You still sober?"
"Yes," Kyle solemnly responded.
"Doing the AA thing, right Jew?" He asked.
"Yeah," Kyle responded. "Still doing the AA thing, Cartman."
Then, after a second:
"Kewl."
And you let go of glass at our feet
It rained through the night
Kyle sat there, pondering why Cartman asked about his sobriety. *I guess he heard about how bad I was,* He thought. *I suppose he still cares about me, at least as a friend.*
"Kahl."
The redhead was jolted out of his thoughts.
"Yes, Cartman?"
"Normally I don't apologize to anyone, because, ya knew, I'm totally kewl and I never make mistakes," He prefaced.
Kyle's eyes widened and his heart started beating faster. *Is he actually going to….?*
"And IF I WERE to apologize, I normally don't do it to dirty Jews," He continued. He paused quietly, but didn't bother to face Kyle. Still laying on his side, he said in a gentle voice:
"I'm sorry I was such a dick to you back then."
"Cartman, it's okay," Kyle replied. "I should've known you were never really gay, I guess because you were my first, I started-"
"No, I mean even before all of that, Kahl." Cartman interrupted. He moved to lay on his back again, this time his hands folded on his stomach.
"I really shouldn't have been such a dick to you all these years."
And you take the fire escape
Ran down the street to the church
Kyle couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had to get on his other side to face Cartman, to make sure he was serious. He observed his long-time friend laying on his stomach, his big brown eyes glued to the ceiling. And, while maybe Kyle was imagining it, Cartman seemed to have such a painful and guilt-ridden expression on his pensive face.
*He almost looks… Sad.*
"Cartman…." The Jewish boy said softly. "It's not your fault that I have a drinking problem. It's okay."
Cartman propped himself up in a sitting position. His eyebrows were construed, looking annoyed.
"I know that, you stupid Jew!" He spat. Then he turned his head to the right, looking to the side of the bed.
"I mean, with your bitch mom and all…"
Normally, Kyle would interrupt him and take up for his mom, but this time he didn't.
"You had a lot on you growing up, Kahl." He sighed deeply and then faced the redhead, and for the first time in Kyle's life he saw true humility in Cartman's eyes.
" I'm sorry that I added to it."
You let go of glass at our feet
The two boys eventually laid back down, this time both of them on their backs.
"It's okay Cartman," Kyle responded. "It's all in the past now."
The larger boy grunted. "Yeah, I know, but…." He trailed off, as if not wanting to finish his thought.
"But what?"
"But, I can't help but wonder, when did the past get SO messed up?"
These words pierced through Kyle, because he knew that his friend wasn't just referring to the two of them. He was referring to Stan, who- despite the fact that he has a six-figure job and four adorable children with Wendy, he never talks to his friends anymore. If he does spot someone he knows in public, Stan's expression is lifeless, dulled, and pained. He is drained because really he is working hard to fulfill the dream Wendy always wanted, not his. Kyle has never seen his Super Best Friend look so lifeless.
Cartman is also referring to Kenny, who has pretty much given up on life. After declaring bankruptcy, he had no choice but to move back in with his parents and let his parents only have control of his bank account, with what little money he brought in working at a fast food joint. When he wasn't working his part-time job, Kenny was usually home, stoned off his ass and playing guitar. Withdrawn and insecure, nowadays he preferred not to hang out around people. Like Stan, Kenny is also a fragment of what he once was.
Cartman may have been talking about Butters, who, feeling alone after everyone left for college, he decided to go on a health kick. This was fine until he started losing too much weight. He lost so much weight that he dropped out of school himself, his head too wrapped up in calories and exercise to read a normal textbook. Jaundiced and hovering at just around 100 pounds, his parents finally sent him to a well-known Eating Disorder facility in Arizona. Word is he recently finished the program and is back in South Park, but is very slowing learning how to eat again without the help of professionals around him.
He was also probably talking about Token, who got involved with the "wrong crowd" and was shot two times a year ago. It took him a long time before he could walk again on his own. His parents are still in shock. At least he is doing better physically.
Or he could have been talking about Craig, who all of a sudden shot himself a year ago. His funeral was packed and had so many young people, everyone in shock wondering the same question. But even a year later no one knows why.
It rained through the night
"I don't know, Cartman." Kyle answered seriously. He pondered on Cartman's question, genuinely searching for an answer.
"I mean, it's not like I'm some big success story either." The redhead added. "But I mean, despite all my struggles, I keep going. Or, at least, I try to keep going, because that's all any one of us can do, right?"
*I wondered if that made any sense at all…*
"I guess you're right, Kyle." After a moment, Cartman turned to his other side, facing Kyle now and slowly wrapped an arm around Kyle's waist.
"C-Cartman?"
"Now don't get any ideas, you stupid Jew!" He said sternly. He coughed.
"I just wanna… Stay like this, Kahl. Just for tonight."
"O-okay…"
"I'm not gay, though!"
Kyle smiled warmly. "I know you're not, Cartman."
You take the fire escape
Run down the street to the church
The redhead could feel Cartman's heart beating, fast at first but just starting to slow down. He could also feel his breathing on the back of his neck.
*I don't know what all this means,* He thought.
Slowly, Kyle moved one of his hands ontop of Cartman's hands, which was snuggled securely around his stomach.
*But this feels so nice.*
The two friends slowly fell asleep to the steady sound of heavy rain.