Holding on to the Present
By V.C. Turner
Damon watched Bonnie sleeping peacefully in his bed. She tossed and turned a little, letting out a soft moan as she snuggled up closer to him for warmth. She smelled like heaven: a warm vanilla musk scent that wrapped around him like a blanket.
He kept telling himself that the tingling sensation bubbling beneath his chest was related to friendship.
He loved her…. as a friend. That's all he wanted from her.
Damon replayed that mantra in his head over and over, wondering if he'd ever believe it. He told himself that when he encouraged her to stay at the mansion during Christmas time, it was because she was his friend and he refused to allow her to be alone.
She needed him. He needed her.
I don't want her, he told himself. She's my best friend. Just because she's beautiful, strong, smart and sweet – it doesn't mean I can keep her.
Or can I? He thought.
Damon shook the idea from his head. He focused on her face and how her dark hair fell across her cheek. He gently brushed the hair aside and smiled to himself, remembering how they ended up in this position.
A few hours earlier they stayed up late decorating the Christmas tree after Stefan and Caroline left for the night.
After the decorations were finished, Bonnie insisted on making them hot chocolate and when she brought the mugs into the living room, she spilled some on her blouse. Despite the fact that she had brought along a change of clothing, Damon sped upstairs quickly and returned to give her a black t-shirt. She frowned at him, but put it on and pranced around the room barefoot.
He loved seeing her that way. He loved that she didn't have a care in the world. He loved the way she stood on her tiptoes to reach one branch higher to hang an ornament. He loved the way her eyes picked up the lights wrapped around the tree. Bonnie had lived through a lifetime of pain and deserved every smile that adorned her pretty face.
He loved seeing her happy.
Damon loved the fact that he helped make her happy.
So after hours of putting up decorations and placing presents under the tree, his best friend's eyes began to drift shut. He carried her upstairs and placed her in his bed without a single protesting whine from her. She snuggled beneath his covers, clad only in his t-shirt, and lying on his pillow.
She belonged there.
Damon felt the overpowering urge to kiss Bonnie anywhere and everywhere. He needed it more than he needed the blood that kept him alive. The ache in his soul would subside only if he placed his lips on her warm skin.
Damon leaned in cautiously, hoping not to wake her. He then let his lips press against the center of her forehead. He basked in the sensation of her breath wafting against his neck.
He continued to watch the beautiful witch sleep in his bed as he fantasized about making love to her for hours at a time. Sure, it was wrong, but deep down he didn't care because she meant something to him.
Bonnie meant everything to him.
"Damon, you're staring at me and it's kinda creepy," Bonnie said with her eyes still closed and a broad smile on her face.
"How exactly do you know I'm staring if your eyes are closed, Bon Bon?" Damon joked, "I think that's kind of creepy."
Bonnie licked her lips, but didn't open her eyes when she answered.
"It's just a feeling," she noted, scooting so close to him that her face was soon buried in the crook of his neck.
"Someone likes to cuddle," Damon said, wrapping his arm around her and giving her a squeeze.
Bonnie's eyes popped open and she looked at him with a trace of panic in her expression.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't," she said, starting to pull away.
Damon stopped her retreat, pulling her so close that her chest pushed against his.
"In what universe does that mean that I want you to move, Bennett? I like this," Damon noted, lazily stroking her lower back and hoping she wouldn't set his brain on fire for touching her so intimately.
Rather than pull away, Bonnie melted into his touch. She never fully relaxed with him until this night and he enjoyed the feeling of her warmth merging with his.
"Me too," she whispered.
Damon kissed the top of her head and held her against him as if she'd disappear if he let her go.
Bonnie slowly draped her arm across his chest and settled into his embrace. After several minutes of silence, Bonnie spoke again.
"Is it normal for friends to cuddle?" she asked. She looked up into his eyes and awaited her answer.
Damon knew what he wanted to say. He had always been direct. He always got what he wanted. Wanting Bonnie was a different story. He couldn't have her and he couldn't lose her. He decided to play it safe.
"Well, we're not ordinary friends, so cuddling is okay," he pointed out, planting a kiss on her forehead.
After several minutes of silence, the grandfather clock struck 3 a.m. and the chime echoed through the silent mansion.
Damon felt Bonnie's foot begin to tap beneath the covers they shared. She was up to something.
"Damon?" Bonnie started.
Damon closed his eyes and pretended to be too tired to have a conversation.
"Yeah?" he said, yawning.
"Is it too early to exchange gifts?" she asked with an innocent voice.
She tugged on his shirt until he opened his eyes and looked down at her.
She batted her eyes at him; a calculated maneuver that she knew would work.
Damon studied her face. Her excitement was infectious and he couldn't say 'No' to her. It was difficult before and even more impossible based on the way she now made him feel.
"What are you up to?" he asked, giving her a skeptical look.
Bonnie bit her lip and sat up. The oversized t-shirt rode up her thighs while the neckline simultaneously dipped low enough for him to notice her lovely cleavage.
"Do you mind if we open presents right now?" she asked, "I don't feel like waiting or getting up early."
Damon pretended to think about it as he sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes.
"Sure," he said, "I'll go grab a couple."
Damon took his time heading downstairs. He felt nervous about giving Bonnie his present for her and he knew he'd have a hard time sleeping after she opened it.
He retrieved two gifts and headed back upstairs. His heart thudded in his chest as he placed the gifts in the center of bed. Bonnie's gift for him was encased in a small rectangular black box, wrapped with a red bow and tag that read "Damon."
Damon's gift to Bonnie was nestled in a square box with a gold bow and note that read "For Bon Bon."
Damon cautiously looked at Bonnie.
"So, who goes first?" he asked.
Bonnie snatched her gift for him and placed it in his hands.
"You do the honors," she said, "I hope you like it because I can't return it."
Damon chuckled. He purposely took his time unwrapping the gift, knowing how eager she was to have him see it. He could see her nearly jumping out her skin with anticipation and he reveled in it for a few moments.
Bonnie finally grabbed is arms and shook him.
"Just open it!" she begged adding a little pout to her expression.
Damon did as instructed. He pulled off the bow and opened the box. His amazement showed on his face as he pulled a gold watch from the box and held it up in the candlelight that illuminated the room.
Damon felt totally stunned at the beauty of the timepiece.
"Since I figured you always seem to show up late, this would help you out a little bit," she smiled.
Damon held the watch between his fingers, noting the gold embossed edges and the smooth movement of the hands. It looked expensive and he had no idea how she could afford such a thing, regardless of the inheritance she'd received from her father.
He turned the timepiece over and noticed the engraving on the back.
It read: "Time is precious. Make it count. Love, Bonnie."
Damon swallowed hard, fighting back tears he had no idea he could shed.
"God, Bon, I don't know what to say," he admitted, shocked as he turned the watch back over and slid it onto his left wrist.
"Don't you like it?" she asked, twinkling green eyes gazing as his face.
"Of course I do, beautiful – I, uh, I mean it's beautiful. Thank you so much," he stammered, looking back and forth between the watch and Bonnie.
She beamed back at him as she bounced up and down on the bed in anticipation of her Christmas gift.
"Good," she said, biting her lip.
Damon decided to tease her a little.
"Oh, wait, you think this one is for you?" he joked, pretending to ignore her and concentrate on his new watch.
Bonnie smacked him in response and he laughed. There was no force behind the smack, but he enjoyed how it made him feel: happy and loved by the feisty witch he now called friend.
He picked up her gift and held it tightly in his hands.
"You sure you want this?" Damon asked.
"Oh, just give me the darned thing," she said, tugging at the present.
He handed her the gift and scooted back a little on the bed, not knowing how she'd react to it.
Bonnie first looked at the card, then smiled sweetly back at Damon. She tugged at the bow and took a deep breath before removing the lid from the small box. She stared at the contents for what felt like several minutes. In reality, only a few seconds had passed, but those moments were long and arduous for the Salvatore vampire.
Bonnie reached inside and pulled out a silver necklace with a large silver and gold locket engraved with the letter 'B' on the outside. When she opened it, tears welled in her eyes and she started to shake. She smiled as she flipped through the pictures inside the locket: pictures of Bennett women throughout time, starting with Emily, moving on to Sheila, then Abby, and finally a picture of herself. The last two places in the locket were empty.
She silently looked up at Damon and wiped the tears from her eyes. Her voice shook as she tried to speak.
"It's beautiful Damon," she said, "I love it so much."
Damon walked around the bed to sit next to Bonnie. He picked up the box and handed her the small piece of rolled up parchment paper that was tucked inside.
"You have to open this too," he said quietly, placing an arm around her shoulders.
Bonnie opened the note and read it aloud.
"Throughout the centuries, there have always been strong, brave, smart, beautiful Bennett women. I count myself lucky to have known all of them, especially you – because you're my favorite. Love, Damon," Bonnie read.
She wrapped her arms around Damon's neck and squeezed so him so hard he thought he'd run out of air if she didn't let him go soon.
"Oh Damon. Thank you. Thank you. This is the best thing anyone has ever given me," she said, "I do have a question though: What are the last two picture slots for?"
Damon's heart sped up as he released himself from her grasp. He prepared himself for the aneurism that would surely followed after he explained his intention and the secret hidden in his top dresser drawer.
"Those are for your kids," he said quietly, standing up and heading to his dresser to pull out the next surprise.
Bonnie looked down at the locket and smiled, wiping away the remainder of her happy tears.
"Damon, that's sweet. It makes sense, so why are you standing over there looking like you're about to tell me that my dog died," she noted, her mood shifting back toward perky.
Damon turned to the dresser to pull something out, then he sat back on the bed next to her.
"It's because I don't just want them to be your kids Bonnie," Damon opened up the his hand revealing a dark red vial of liquid, "I want them to be ours."
Bonnie's mouth dropped open. At a loss for words, she sat motionless, blinking up at him in disbelief. She clutched the locket to her chest, never taking her eyes off of Damon.
She swallowed hard before speaking.
"D-Damon, that looks like," she began, losing her voice in the middle of her sentence. She stared at the vial in silence.
"The cure," he said softly.
Bonnie looked at him in disbelief.
"But, Elena took the last one," she whispered, "And you're supposed to…to drink it from her after I'm gone. You're supposed to have a family, have kids, and grow old - with her."
Damon looked in Bonnie's eyes and gave her the confession he'd kept inside of him for years.
"That's what I thought I wanted," he began, "But the truth is, I've spent the past few years trying to figure out why I made that promise, and who I was when I made it. Being human made me appreciate living more than being a vampire ever has. Then I got stuck with you in the prison world. Then we became friends. Then I realized that I didn't need to be human to really feel alive. I just needed – I just needed to be with you."
Damon watched shock of his statement register on Bonnie's face. He saw a twinkle appear in her eyes, a flash of happiness and hope that she was trying desperately to keep under control. He could hear her heartbeat pick up and it encouraged him to keep going.
"So, this afternoon I made a choice. I took a drive to the Salvatore crypt to say goodbye to the past – to say goodbye to Elena. She wanted me to move on, and the thing is, I have. If I'm going to be human again, if I'm going to live, I want it to be with someone that makes me feel alive. That's you, Bonnie. It's been you for a long time. I, uh, I used a syringe to draw out the last of the cure, but I didn't take it yet because I wanted to make sure this was what you wanted. I wanted it to be your choice," Damon stated.
He took the vial and placed it in Bonnie's hands and closed her fingers around it. He then lifted her chin, kissing her with all the passion and hope he'd held inside for the past three years.
Damon headed downstairs, leaving Bonnie sitting on his bed to consider her decision. He poured himself a glass of bourbon and sorted through the remaining boxes of ornaments. He hung a few more on the branches, losing himself in the task. He wondered what was going through her mind. He wondered if she loved him or hated him or if she had no idea what to say to him. Consumed in his own thoughts, he found himself sorting through a box of ornaments he and Stefan had as a child. He placed a small wooden horse on the Christmas tree and smiled, remembering it was Stefan's favorite.
"Did you forget something, Salvatore?" Bonnie said. Her voice startled Damon out of his thoughts.
He turned to face her. He noticed that still wore his t-shirt, but hanging just below the collar was the necklace he'd given her. In her hand, the vial with the cure dangled from a red ribbon that wrapped around the center.
Damon walked toward her, taking the cure from her hands and raising and eyebrow at her.
"You sure?" he asked slowly.
Bonnie nodded. Damon lifted the vial to his lips.
"On one condition," she said.
Damon stopped his movement.
"What's that?" he asked.
Bonnie wrapped arms around him, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"We're not naming the first one Damon Jr.," she said smiling.
Damon leaned down and captured her lips with his.
"Deal," Damon said. He then swallowed the liquid with one gulp and picked her up, speeding her upstairs and sitting her on the bed.
"What are you doing!" she giggled.
Damon dragged her beneath him and began nibbling on Bonnie's neck.
He gave her a wicked grin before answering.
"Just giving us a head start on baby number one."