Tell Me Something Good

"You are quiet this evening, mi tesorina," Zevran remarked as his clever fingers kneaded at the knots in Aza's shoulders. He paused after dipping his fingers into his little jar of fragrant oil. "Quieter than usual."

Aza grunted noncommittally, giving her shoulders the slightest shrug. Zevran was not yet sure whether she meant to urge him back to his massage, or whether she simply didn't want to talk. He settled back into his task, content to wait her out.

Sure enough, after a few minutes of staring at the canvas wall of their tent, Aza sighed. "Didn't like going back to Orzammar," she muttered. Zevran wisely stayed silent. "I'm a Gray Warden now, but… I didn't like you seeing the way they all looked at me."

"Whatever do you mean? They looked at you like the avenging goddess that you are!"

"Be serious," she said, swatting at his hand. "I might be a Gray Warden, I might have won their Proving, I might have gone further into the Deep Roads than any of them ever have, and I might have put their new king on the throne, but all I ever will be to them is a Casteless. They look at me and they see a brand."

Zevran stilled his hands and closed the oil jar, putting it aside slowly and deliberately. He tugged gently at Aza's shoulder until she reluctantly turned her body towards him. A tight, bitter expression contorted her face, and her eyes shone with angry tears.

"Do you think that I see you that way?" he asked, coaxing her hands into his. "Do you think that your fellow Warden, silly as he is, sees you that way? Perhaps Wynne, or even Sten?"

"No," she said grudgingly, wiping her eyes with her forearm.

"Well then. I say that you give no more thought to those who wish you ill. Those who are important, chiefly myself, think that you are an absolute divine goddess."

Aza rolled her eyes and punched him lightly in the shoulder. "All right then, lay it on thick."

"It is nothing but the truth," he protested, rubbing his shoulder. "You are the most lovely little - "

"Shut up and kiss me," she interrupted, but her hands were gentle as she cupped his cheeks.

Zevran was more than happy to oblige, and he sank slowly down on the bedroll, pulling her with him. He was surprised when she broke away and pillowed her head on his chest with a sigh.

"Something still bothers you, my dove?" he asked, stroking the hair out of her face.

"Leske," Aza said finally. More tears spilled from her eyes, and she dashed them away angrily. "I had to kill him. I had to. He was my best friend but he would have…."

"You sound as though you do not believe yourself," Zevran remarked. "I know what it is to kill someone you… care for, as you know," he said quietly. "It is not something you will heal from quickly."

They both lay quietly for a time, until Zevran propped himself up on one elbow and grinned down at her. "Come, let us not dwell on sadness. Tell me something that makes you smile. Apart from me, of course."

Aza rolled her eyes at him, but then wrinkled her nose in consideration. She smiled when she hit on something. "My sister. Rica. You met her, for a few minutes at least."

"Tell me about her, then. I have regaled you with plenty of fine tales of my life, now it is time you returned the favor."

"All right, all right." She started talking, slowly at first but then with more pleasure as she got into describing Rica's face, and the way she'd kept her safe, and kept going until their lantern burned out, and late into the night until she fell asleep mid-sentence.

When Aza opened her eyes the next morning, Zevran was grinning at her. "I believe that last night was the longest I have ever heard you speak at one time," he remarked.

"Don't you ever sleep?" she grumbled, pulling the blanket over her face.

He yanked it back down and planted a few kisses on her cheeks and nose. "Of course, and I did all the more soundly last night because your heart was lighter.

Aza caught his face and kissed him firmly on the lips. "Don't know what I'd do without you, Zev," she said with uncharacteristic softness.

His heart beat a strange rhythm in his chest as he looked down at her, but he did not want to pause and try to understand it. "You will not have to find out, I assure you."