To my extreme sorrow, I do not own the forgotten realms or any characters that show up in any of the books. Drizzt, Cattibrie, Bruenor, Regis, Wulfgar, Delly, Colson, Jaraxle, Enteri, and Zaknafein are merely borrowed for the extent of my humorous tale and shall be returned after it's eventual completion. However, all characters not otherwise mentioned above are my own personal creations, as are all dragons named and unnamed in this story, except for Tiamat, who I do not own but humbly mention, and I also created and therefore own the Seren islands.
Scene- a semi tropical forest clearing, seemingly deserted.
Drizzt, Cattibrie, Bruenor, Regis, Wulfgar, Delly, and Colson are dumped into the center of the clearing by a very large, old, red dragon who had appeared out of nowhere to snatch them out of the midst of a battle and now waited off to the side, looking surprisingly nervous.
Drizzt-(slightly worried)- " Everyone alright?"
Cattibrie-( a little shaky)- " I think so, but where are we?"
Regis-(confused)-" Why did that .." ( stops talking and stares up at the sky, where another dragon hovers momentarily. This one, an equally large, white one, swoops in and drops a familiar pair of people- a certain bald drow mercenary with a very odd hat and a dark haired human asassin next to the companions before landing next to the red dragon)
Everyone visible except dragons- " What the .."
(an unknown, regal toned voice echoes out of the trees, interrupting them)
Unknown voice( regal,gracious, slightly condescending)-" Be at ease, for all your queries shall be answered in due time"
( owner of voice strolls in thru a gap in the trees, revealing herself as a rather small about 10 feet long, not counting her tail, multi-hued, iridescent dragon, who wore a gracefully wrought gem studded circlet about the top of her head, held in place by her horns. Other dragons in clearing instantly drop into draconic versions of bows. Everyone else just stares blankly at her, becoming even more confused than they were a short while ago.)
New dragon- " Welcome to the Seren Islands, two-leggers. 1 I am Tiana, daughter of the mighty goddess of dragons, Tiamet.2"
( she sits, basking in the awestruck, if really confused gazes of all nondragons in the clearing. Eventually, the braver of the two large dragons coughs softly and rather nervously in an attempt to get her attention. It succeeds.)
Tiana-( addressing the other dragons)-" You have done well. I won't be mentioning your little 'slips of the tongue' to mother after all. You are now dismissed. " ( the two large dragons leave immediately)
A small halfling female, carrying a pack obviously filled with cooking supplies, cautiously edges around Tiana, looking for signs of the other dragons.
Halfling girl-(slight nervousness in voice)-" Are the other dragons gone yet, Tiana?"
Tiana-( reassuringly)-" Yes, Aggy, dear. They've left." (hopeful tone)" You wouldn't be making rabbit pie, by any chance ,now would you?"
Aggy-" Nope, just fried squirrel and roast venison for now" ( she starts setting up cooking pit in middle of clearing)
Jaraxle-( having managed to sort out the basics of the most confusing recent events faster than any one else)-" Excuse me, um, Lady Tiana? Why exactly have summoned us all here?"
Tiana-(mildly)-" Because my friend Morry asked me to." (goes back to watching Aggy work on dinner)
Jaraxle-(now looking faintly worried)-" That 'Morry' wouldn't happen to be short for Morlinda, would it?"
Tiana-( looking somewhat surprised)-" As a matter of fact, actually, it would, Jaraxle."3 (she looks around, then cheerfully addresses everyone in the clearing)-" May I introduce my dear friend, the half-demon demigoddess of bats, lizards, and rats, 4 Morlinda!"
(Morlinda steps out from behind a tree, looking mostly drowlike, except for the large, batlike wings on her back, her ears being rather battish5, the dog-sized rat trailing at her heels, and the fact that her hair is dyed multiple colors, a number of which clash6. She then smiles and waves at everyone until she sees Jaraxle.)
Morlinda-( almost obviously falsely cheery)-" Why Jaraxle, what a pleasant surprise! Its so nice to see you again. You are still managing that little, simple task I asked of you, right?"
Jaraxle- (in a wary tone)-"Um, yeah, of course, Morlinda. Why ever wouldn't I be?"
Morlinda-(continuing, still falsely cheery)-"I know, I know, silly of me to ask. Of course you are doing just fine with it. Because keeping one little drow safe isn't really that difficult a task- and naturally, he is still safe, right?"
Jaraxle-(decidedly nervous now)-"Of course he is. What, do you think I would try to cheat you out of all that treasure and magic, and incur your fierce wrath?"
Morlinda-(calmly)-" Now, for you to do anything of the sort would be incredibly stupid, wouldn't it?"( she smiles reassuringly at him, he visibly relaxes)-(entirely different tone)" Although I had the oddest encounter a few days ago."(Jaraxle tenses up again)" I took a short cut thru one of the Dead's planes, and who should I run into but Zaknafein Do'Urden?"(Jaraxle whimpers slightly)"Funny, last time I checked, dead did not precisely fit the definition of 'safe'!"
Jaraxle-(falling to his knees at her feet)- "Oh please, please, it wasn't my fault!" (meaningless whimpers)
Morlinda-( in an odd, both amused and irritated, tone) " If I had thought it had been your fault, we would be having this discussion in the Abyss, not on a tropical island." (more serious tone) " However, we shall have a long talk on this matter…. NOW!" ( She stalks irritably into the forest, Jaraxle following nervously behind her)
Still in the clearing, Artemis Enteri watched them leave, then, noticing that Tiana's halfling had dinner ready, decided to go eat with the others.
So, the very first chapter of my very first fan fic is complete.
Please RR. With luck, I'll get the next chapter up soon… if you review.
number footnote reference
Footnotes:
1. It's a dragon thing, would take forever to explain.
2. Of all evil dragons, at any rate.
3. If you are wondering how she knew his name, Morlinda told her, of course.
4. And pretty much any other mostly nocturnal creatures that eat spiders.
5. Morlinda insists on describing her ears as such. I gave up on the argument over whether or not battish was actually a word after 3 hours.
6. She also insists that normal white hair is far too boring for one as interesting as her. Given, she says that about any hairstyle that involves less than 3 colors.