Ties That Bind
Author: Lawral
Rating: FR13
Pairing: Ziva/Rachel (friendship)
Summary: The two are linked by tragedy and now come to terms with the heartache they each feel.
Spoilers: Season 8, Man Walks Into A Bar…
Note: Written for Sherry. Thanks for all your hard work on Secret Santa 2011!
She wasn't quite sure how she'd ended up at the bar or how two bottles sat empty in front of her. Her meeting with Dr. Cranston had left more questions than answers and Ziva wasn't sure if she was ready to face the answers to the questions that ricocheted around in her head. It had only taken a few questions to realize who this doctor was and the feeling of her heart dropping into her stomach. She should have known that this day would come. Instantly the dossier on Special Agent Caitlin Todd had returned the forefront of her memory, listing her as the youngest child with three older brothers and an older sister.
The bartender arrived out of thin air and set another bottle in front of her almost as if he could see the day she'd had written all over her face. Ziva hadn't told the others that she was going out for a drink; she wanted to be alone with her thoughts.
"Is this seat taken?"
Ziva looked up and caught the insult meant for whatever guy was attempting to hit on her. The woman standing next to her looking between the empty bar stool and herself. Ziva looked down at it also before inviting the woman to sit.
"How did you find me?" Ziva asked taking another drink.
Rachel settled into the seat and tossed her jacket across her lap. The bartender started back in their direction until Rachel held her hand up to stop him; the bourbon that Gibbs had given her was more than enough. Ultimately, she'd come to talk and not drink.
"Kate," Rachel said, glancing up to Ziva's surprised expression. "She told me that she and Agent McGee came here quite often. Finding friendships outside of work is easy, finding them in a coworker can be slightly more difficult."
Ziva was quiet for a few moments, allowing the Doctor's words to sink in before she slowly nodded her head. "The same could be said for family, yes, Doctor?"
"The work day is done. I suppose we can drop the formalities." Doctor Cranston said. "Right, Ziva?"
Ziva glanced at the woman and pushed her half empty bottle to join the other two. Rachel watched with a smile on her lips.
"While you and Kate may have been different agents, you share similarities as women."
"How is that?"
"Your calling to serve, your abilities to navigate a field that is composed mostly of male agents, relationship difficulties, familial bonds-"
"I do not have family bonds." Ziva instantly corrected.
Rachel watched her companion for a moment as it seemed more ghosts were crossing her memory. She had an idea of what they could be. She'd learned just an hour ago that Ziva had killed Kate's murderer, her own brother.
"It couldn't have been easy." Rachel said, picking up the abandoned bottle.
"Would have been able to kill Kate?" Ziva questioned.
Rachel stopped before the bottle made it to her lips and returned the bottle to its place. The women sat side by side looking straight ahead. Their reflections looked back at them and it had the feeling of self-examination.
"I did not believe that Ari could have shot Kate. I refused to believe that my father and Gibbs were correct about him, that he had turned his back on his people- to me." Ziva paused. "I could not understand why he would join the ranks of the people who killed our little sister."
"Why did he?"
"To spite my father." Ziva said. "I guess you could say that it is the same reason I became an American."
"Family bonds are the toughest and sometimes the easiest to break." Rachel agreed. "Especially when there is a moral difference."
"I am his only surviving child," Ziva said with a small chuckle. "And he sent me to die. How is that for a family bond?"
The image of that morning, the three agents crowded around Gibbs and rattling off information without hesitation seemed more significant than that of a simple working environment. Studying the people she'd most wanted to meet had surprised her with their adjustment styles. Their strengths and weaknesses balanced the group as a whole.
"Sometimes the family you create for yourself is better than the one you were born into. Distance can cause turmoil in a natural family but the ones you feel comfortable to surround yourself with and trust is just as important for your history."
"It is a spoon in the road, yes?" Rachel looked to Ziva with a questionable expression. "Had I believed what my father had said about Ari, Kate would still be alive. Though I still would have had to kill him. It was my job."
Rachel was genuinely perplexed now. "You were ordered to kill your brother?"
"Yes, when I heard him tell Gibbs that he killed her- I could only think of how I could have prevented it had I not let our relationship get in the way."
Finally, Ziva turned to look at Rachel. She could see the same pain reflecting out of the woman's gaze. One stupid act, one misjudged individual, one bullet had connected two strangers forever.
"I am sorry, Rachel." Ziva finally said.
Rachel covered Ziva's hand with her own on top of the bar. "He was your brother, Ziva. I would be more worried if you hadn't tried to protect him."
Rachel then called to the bartender and order a beer. Ziva also pulled hers back toward her and took another small drink.
"Though if he hadn't shot Kate," Rachel said softly, swallowing a lump in her throat. "You wouldn't be here."
"No, I do not believe so. Jenny brought me to fill a chair while I needed away from my father. I must say, filling Kate's shoes was not the easiest of duties."
Rachel chuckled. "Don't I know that. How does a Psychologist compare to someone who protects the President? Kate always did aim high."
"They fought having me there in the beginning, especially Gibbs. I suppose I can understand. Kate was a valuable asset to the team and I was-"
Ziva stopped.
"You were the glue that brought them together again. It was more than filling an empty chair, Ziva." Rachel acknowledged. "You were not a replacement, I am sorry I said you were; you filled a void that your brother created in so many lives. You've done more of your fair share to prove that you belong amongst your peers. I can see that you never tried to take Kate's place in any sense; you made your own space in everyone's hearts."
Ziva lifted her beer bottle out to Rachel and spoke two words, "To Kate."
Rachel smiled and clinked the neck of her bottle against Ziva's. "To Kate."