Title: Never Meant to Be
Summary: In which Sakura ponders. Implied NaruSaku. Oneshot.mplied NaruSaku. Oneshot.
Genre: Tragedy, Angst
Fandom: Naruto - Featuring Sakura Haruno and Naruto Uzumaki. Other characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, Kizashi Haruno (alternate personality), Mebuki Haruno (alternate personality)
Words: 891
Weak. Annoying. Ugly.
With every step she took the list of insults grew longer, as though there was a never ending supply of her weak points, her flaws and her imperfections.
And she hated it. Most of all she hated the people around her.
They acted... They acted as if broken bones hurt more than the names she was called - and they called her everything and anything.
There was always an arsenal of catcalls just waiting, charged, ready to hit her at her lowest, to break her and to bury her six feet under.
She was never meant to be perfect anyway.
But she was her mother's daughter, and her mother spelled beauty in everything she said and did, every action she took? Calculated, precise, gracious. Everyone called her the "perfect lady".
So why couldn't she be like her mom?
As she neared the bridge she looked up at the clear sky overhead, not a wisp of cloud in sight, the sun barely over the horizon. It was a pretty normal day in Konoha, with normal weather, normal surroundings, normal activities. But she was feeling far from normal.
It was like an epiphany, a sudden jolt, a violent start from when her mother lashed out at her with that sharp, barbed tongue, criticising her every move, "Sit up, Sakura!" "Act like a lady, Sakura!" "Why can't you just quit being a ninja, Sakura?"
And when she turned to her dear father, he calmly regarded the two females before him, and being the coward he was, took his leave from the dining table and avoided the conflict completely. Just because she wasn't his child, just because they weren't related by blood, he simply didn't care.
Too weak, she was, too boy-obsessed, too civilian, she just didn't make the cut. However much she studied, however much she drilled herself in the Academy textbooks, memorising everything down to the last letter, she couldn't practise like her classmates. It was 'unbecoming' of a fine young lady from a merchant family.
She was never meant to be a kunoichi anyway.
Her footsteps rang out clear in the silent morning as she stepped on the creaking wood of the old, worn bridge. It held fast, though, and proved to be reliable over and over again. Unlike her. No one could depend on her, she would just fail them anyway. Disappointment over and over again, the tears in the eyes, the pursed lips, hard look, all came crashing down on the girl.
She was suffocating.
Why couldn't she be like Kakashi-sensei? Like Naruto? They were independent, they were reliable, she knew she could depend on them and she did. But they could never depend on her - because they couldn't.
Why couldn't she be like Sasuke?
At this her surroundings went silent. She paused in her tracks, head hung low, neon pink hair shielding the tears that glistened as they dripped off her chin. Her shoulder blades shuddered, it was painful, all that she had done for him, all that she had sacrificed, just for a "thank you"?
Chasing after him was tiring, physically, mentally, psychologically, but she had kept going.
Broken heartstrings bled the blues as she tried to empty herself so she would feel nothing, but she knew that, an ingrown life isn't something can surgeons can cut away.
She convinced everyone that she loved him, that they were meant to be, that she would never forget him, or leave him be.
But deep down, she had already given up, her heart had wasted and withered away, crumbling to nothing but dust and ashes.
She couldn't convince herself.
She was never meant to be with him anyway.
Looking over the side of the bridge she watched the peaceful river meander past the bridge, the water clear and reflective, stained ugly by the face reflected in the water. A dark smear on the beautiful surface of the river.
It was all too simple really - to snuff out the light of a human soul, just a fall into the depths below and allsufferingwillend.
There was no other way, she knew.
As if depression was something that could be remedied by the contents found in a first aid kit.
She stepped up onto the side of the bridge.
Perhaps it was better this way, it was a contribution to the world to rid her own weak little self from this world of cruelty. No one would miss her anyway. Much less remember her.
And she wondered if she fell - would it make a splash, or would it just be a ripple amongst a million others, barely significant, a single leaf fluttering in a forest of trees. Haruno Sakura's death would change nothing in the lives of the people around her. She had been there. Then she would be gone. Their lives would continue.
She sealed her clear emerald eyes from the world - and sealed her fate along with it.
Gravity took over.
She was never meant to be anyway.
A strong pair of arms encircled her as she brushed past spiky, gravity-defying hair.
Not a drop of water on her.
Waking from her trance, she watched as cerulean blue orbs dazzled in the sunlight.
"Don't ever do that again...Sakura-chan."