Disclaimer: I do NOT own Phantom of the Opera in any of it's forms.
PHANTOMS WILL
"Okay people, settle down. Come on, set- SETTLE DOWN! Thank you. Now we are here to discuss the Last Will and Testamate of Monsuir Um... Ghost.
'Didn't think I'd write a will, did you? Well I did! Now I should probley start deviding up my stuff. To La Carlotta (I really don't see the point in a person refering to themselves in the third person), I leave to you all the gowns in my lair. There's a beautiful pink one that goes perfectly
with white masks that cover half your face... Not that I would know or anything. To Piangi, I give to you some diet pills. Next time I want to impersonate you, you need to be thinner. I was caught far to early the last time. To Andre a Firmin, I give you the opera house. No you didn't
buy it, it was on loan, and please get La Carlotta some singing lessons. Madame and Meg Giry, you are the casting agents! Andre and Firmin a totaly and compleatly tone deaf. Cristine, you get my money and my talent! To Raoul, you get ... Wait for it... ME! I'm not really dead!'"
At this point, many people were very confused.
"'Just kidding! Raoul, you don't get anything because you stole my woman. Not that I have any hard feelings about that, but if mystyerous peolpe intrude your home in the middle of the night trying to kill you, I had nothing to do with it.'
Well that's, that then." But at that moment, the Phantom came in, and said "I want my dress back" and stole the pink dress off the counter and ran away into the night!